All language subtitles for Family Matters s08e07 Stevil
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1
00:00:04,649 --> 00:00:07,910
Tonight's episode of Family Matters is a
little scary.
2
00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:11,590
So you might want to watch it with
somebody brave.
3
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:13,650
Don't worry, Uncle Steve.
4
00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:15,169
Yeah, man.
5
00:00:15,170 --> 00:00:16,170
We're here for you.
6
00:00:17,170 --> 00:00:19,270
Guys, can we turn on the light?
7
00:00:35,980 --> 00:00:36,980
there, Steve?
8
00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:39,060
Feast your eyes on this.
9
00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:47,160
A dummy
10
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,960
that looks exactly like Steve.
11
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,080
How disturbing.
12
00:00:55,600 --> 00:01:01,100
Okay, now, the key to being a good
ventriloquist is to give the dummy a
13
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:02,200
funny voice.
14
00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:09,310
wooden friend, does your mom know where
you are?
15
00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:12,990
My mom doesn't know anything.
16
00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:18,690
My mom is a telephone pole in Kansas
City.
17
00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:27,350
Telephone pole. Get it, get it, get it.
Telephone pole.
18
00:01:27,990 --> 00:01:30,130
Well, what do you think?
19
00:01:31,110 --> 00:01:32,990
Oh, your lips are supposed to flap like
that.
20
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,160
Looks like there's a storm coming in.
21
00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:58,980
Thank you, Al Roker.
22
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,240
What's wrong with you?
23
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:02,560
Oh, nothing.
24
00:02:02,820 --> 00:02:05,200
I'm only the world's worst
ventriloquist, right?
25
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:07,780
Yeah. You blow chunks.
26
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,180
Thanks, Al. Please, don't hold back.
Just tell me how you feel.
27
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,120
Well, Steve, I mean, no one's good at
everything.
28
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,960
Although I do come awfully close.
29
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,500
I just wish I could make this...
30
00:02:27,470 --> 00:02:29,170
Well, frankly, I can't relate.
31
00:02:29,810 --> 00:02:32,970
I mean, the only doll I want sitting on
my lap can talk on her own.
32
00:02:33,350 --> 00:02:34,350
Know what I'm saying?
33
00:04:09,430 --> 00:04:12,170
Nothing with a plywood brain is alive.
34
00:04:12,570 --> 00:04:15,890
Carl, I'm telling you, it moved and it
said hi.
35
00:04:16,829 --> 00:04:17,970
I'll prove it to you.
36
00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:33,130
Steve, if this is your new act, it's
actually an improvement.
37
00:04:33,930 --> 00:04:34,930
I don't get it.
38
00:04:39,210 --> 00:04:42,730
Steve, has anyone in your family ever
checked into the Rubber Ramada?
39
00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:47,710
Well, my Aunt Eve thought she was a man
conditioner.
40
00:04:48,190 --> 00:04:49,490
Oh, did they take her away?
41
00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:51,230
Heck no. She kept us cool in the summer.
42
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,090
I don't have time for this.
43
00:04:55,330 --> 00:04:58,670
Me neither. Steve, if you keep having
these delusions, you're going to have a
44
00:04:58,670 --> 00:04:59,670
flat eye.
45
00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:04,210
Honey, please, get some rest.
46
00:05:18,990 --> 00:05:21,190
Maybe I have lost my mind.
47
00:05:23,270 --> 00:05:25,570
No, you're fine, Steve.
48
00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:31,970
Oh, Harry is right.
49
00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:34,730
I need to lie down.
50
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:39,050
My name is Stephen Q. Urkel. My IQ is
196.
51
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,080
jar.
52
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:26,320
Relax.
53
00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:30,340
Sit down.
54
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,340
Take a load off.
55
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,400
But you're made of wood.
56
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:35,960
You can't walk.
57
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,360
You can't talk.
58
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:41,140
Oh, yeah. And I suppose I can't dance
either.
59
00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:02,090
You just got what you wished for, pal.
60
00:07:02,970 --> 00:07:04,390
What I wished for?
61
00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:09,870
Yeah, you wanted me to talk. Well, you
got it, bucko.
62
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:14,150
But why didn't you talk in front of the
Winslows?
63
00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:16,830
I don't like the Winslows.
64
00:07:17,690 --> 00:07:20,590
But they're the finest family in the
whole wide world.
65
00:07:21,050 --> 00:07:22,050
I know.
66
00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:25,150
They make me sick.
67
00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:31,860
The Winslows are in the way, so I'll
have to get rid of them.
68
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,600
What a little puppet.
69
00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:40,480
You may look like me, but you're not
like me at all.
70
00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:42,100
You're evil.
71
00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:45,560
Hey, I like that.
72
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:47,360
Evil, huh?
73
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:53,120
From now on, you can just call me Steve
-o.
74
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,500
Come on, you guys better hurry.
75
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:15,340
And look, tell Charlie's dad that if it
starts to rain, bring you guys straight
76
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:16,420
home. Got it.
77
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:22,620
And remember, do not eat your candy
until I look at it.
78
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:27,600
Okay, but you remember, don't eat our
candy while you look at it.
79
00:08:34,299 --> 00:08:35,960
Well, we can relax.
80
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:39,919
upstairs in the trunk.
81
00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,440
Who? Stable, my dummy.
82
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,340
He has a name now?
83
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,720
Yep. Named himself.
84
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,700
I'm telling you, Carl, he's Satan's sock
puppet.
85
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:53,840
Listen to me, big guy.
86
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:55,700
That dummy ain't no dummy.
87
00:08:56,320 --> 00:09:00,060
Not only does he talk, but what he says,
oh, it ain't good.
88
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:01,520
He's evil.
89
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:02,960
Evil, Carl.
90
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:07,640
Steve, I'm seriously afraid.
91
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:09,700
that you're losing your mind.
92
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,660
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, I know, I
know. Okay, okay, okay. Urkel's crazy,
93
00:09:13,780 --> 00:09:14,780
Urkel's crazy, Urkel's crazy.
94
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:19,720
But trust me, the important thing is
that Stiebel is locked away.
95
00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:16,210
said that?
96
00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:18,350
Help. Help me.
97
00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,370
I'm trapped in the chimney.
98
00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:22,430
Santa?
99
00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:21,900
a very busy dummy.
100
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,760
What are you talking about?
101
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:28,040
Check out what's behind Murphy bed
number one.
102
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,380
from low shelf esteem.
103
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,160
You little monster.
104
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:13,320
Steve, shut the cupboards. I don't want
anyone to see me like this. All right.
105
00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:17,940
Where is it?
106
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,600
Special delivery.
107
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:53,560
out his head.
108
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:01,650
She's a little cranky.
109
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,010
Well, Steve, okay.
110
00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:10,090
Maybe your dummy did come to life.
111
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:13,530
Maybe he is trying to do away with the
whole family.
112
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,710
But listen, let's be honest.
113
00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:17,310
Is that so bad?
114
00:15:19,930 --> 00:15:20,930
What?
115
00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:22,790
What are you saying?
116
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:25,570
Steve, I'm saying lighten up.
117
00:15:26,150 --> 00:15:27,330
Lighten up and...
118
00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:37,630
He's under my control. My new personal
puppet.
119
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,170
Watch.
120
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:42,630
I took my wife to the islands.
121
00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:44,130
Jamaica?
122
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:46,630
No. She wanted to go.
123
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,410
How? With a lot of fried pickles.
124
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:54,090
Why are you doing this?
125
00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:58,850
Well, I took care of the Winslow's so we
could go on the road together.
126
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:02,830
I knew you'd never come unless they were
out of the way.
127
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,160
Sure. We'll do a ventriloquist act.
128
00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:12,760
Only I'll do the talking and you'll be
the dummy.
129
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,100
It's personal.
130
00:19:02,860 --> 00:19:03,860
You were dreaming.
131
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,100
I was?
132
00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:17,100
Why would I have a dream like that?
133
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:19,200
Well, that's no mystery.
134
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,980
You have an obsessive -compulsive
personality which manifests itself in
135
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:24,160
extreme need to achieve perfection.
136
00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:28,620
You think I need therapy?
137
00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:34,950
surgical procedure will alleviate the
problem.
138
00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:38,550
Okay.
139
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:43,390
What kind of... What are you doing?
140
00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:44,890
Put that down!
141
00:19:45,330 --> 00:19:49,870
Now lie back and close your eyes,
because this is really going to hurt.
142
00:20:13,230 --> 00:20:15,890
spring you dreamed that the easter bunny
jumped you in the alley and slapped you
143
00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:22,110
pink that was scary at thanksgiving you
dreamed that a turkey stuffed you
144
00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:24,070
that one still gives me the willies
145
00:21:18,890 --> 00:21:22,130
Get me a baseball bat. I'm going to
knock this dummy up out of his head.
146
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:46,520
Does everybody love that?
147
00:21:46,940 --> 00:21:47,940
Awesome.
9862
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