Original subtitles

Previously on Family Matters.

Behold, the earthquake.

It's a teleportation device.

Bonjour, monsieur.

Welcome to Paris.

What?

Is everybody here? No, my daughter Laura's coming and she's bringing a

We flew united.

Well, I've got it all worked out.

Really? Mm -hmm. Oh, thanks, Dan. Uh -huh. You work here for two weeks, and

don't go to prison.

Your job is to find out how this earth pad works.

Once we have the technology, we'll make a fortune. Don't worry.

I have a plan.

After dinner, I'll take him for a romantic tour along the sand.

I'll make him so hot.

The weevil will babble.

Uh,

look here.

I'm gonna bring you some soup and hope for the best, all right?

Hey, son.

How's it going?

Let me see, uh...

How do you say this is whack in French?

You lost your right to complain.

You caused the crash.

Now you've got to sling the hash.

You see

what I got to put up with, Dad? The guy is crazy.

I'm sorry, son.

Oh, dude, chill. Don't go postal on me.

No problem, sir. I don't blame you.

Thank you.

Thank you boys.

resident, Myra Monkhouse, professional house sitter speaking.

Well, hi there, crooked me. I guess I'm on for the perfect time to wake me up

and give you a call.

Oh, Stevie, as usual, you have perfect timing.

I'm having breakfast with Binky, Bunky, and Ed.

Should I be concerned that you're dining with stuffed animals?

Oh, it's only because I'm lonely.

More tea, Binky?

This is all me.

Oh, sorry.

You're coming home early with lots of presents?

No, I'm starring in a commercial with Stefan.

Wow. Did you hear that, boys?

Daddy's going to be on TV.

on your cheek.

for you.

This isn't much of a beach.

Well, actually, this is what they call a promicky or an ultimate.

You see, when this commercial is finished, this blue screen will be a

pretty beach.

You seem to know a lot about this.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

My Uncle Cecil had a blue screen. Why, he used it for 18 years to convince his

wife he... working late.

Is Cecil my uncle, too?

Well, let's see.

He was when you were my clone, but now that you're set fine, he's kind of

Oh, well, makes no difference.

I'll go see his dad anyway.

Steve, I'm having a tough time figuring out who I am.

You created me. How come? What was your plan?

I'm not as smart as you.

Am I?

Not by a long shot.

But hey, nobody's perfect.

No, but I come close.

Hi!

Look at that!

Come on, Steve.

We got a commercial.

Having trouble with the ladies?

The answer is testier than you think.

Do the Pop Soda in four tantalizing flavors.

Its fresh, cool taste will revitalize you from head to toe.

Isn't it romantic here?

Well, actually, it's a hotbed for potential gum disease.

Hey, pal, get around.

Relax, dear.

You're in Paris, the city of love.

Ah, favorite.

And you're with a woman.

Who finds you extremely attractive.

Oh, hi.

Nicole.

I have to be honest here.

I'm involved.

I got a ticket to Chicago.

You know what they say.

When you're not with the one you love, love the one you with.

Yes, sir, ma 'am.

I'm loyal to my gal pal.

I see.

What's her name?

Well, it starts with an M.

Steve, in the past, I've always been attractive to pretty boys.

But that changed the moment I met you.

Oh, thanks.

I think.

You're brilliant.

Unique. Oh. I feel I've fallen in love with you.

Oh, what were we talking about again?

Picture you and me in a chateau in the south of France. Me, cooking, cleaning,

loving.

Making billions with your...

you want.

Okay. So I'm shallow.

It doesn't make me any less beautiful.

I already told you. I'm not interested in making money.

And pouty lips and perky pear -shaped bosoms won't change my mind either.

Oh, yeah?

Well, maybe this will change your mind.

Who are you?

I'm your worst nightmare.

Oh, no, no, no. My worst nightmare is when I'm a big wedge of cheese and I

no mouth left.

We tried it your way, Nicole, and you failed.

Now it's my turn.

From now on, there's no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Move! I don't want to attract a crood.

A crood? What's a crood?

Many people standing in a group.

Ow! A brown!

That's what I said.

A crood.

Hey, hey, hey. Where are you taking me?

You'll see.

And when we get there, you're going to give me the blueprints to your uncle.

Oh, yeah?

And what if I don't?

Then you're going to die!

I've got the private little workshop where no one can hear you scream. What?

Scream? What's a scream?

Shouting at the top of your lungs.

No, but that is a real good idea, isn't it, Nicole?

I will steal the masterpieces from the Louvre, all the golds from Fort Knox,

on the weekend, sneak in the movies.

Say it. The Winslow's will notice I'm missing, and they'll call the police.

You'll never get away with this.

Wrong, Nelda boy.

Nicole will tell them that she will be taking the two of you on a romantic two

-day tour of the wine country in Bordel.

the blueprints for your teleportation pad.

They're right here, and that's where they're staying, Buster.

Then you will build me one.

Looks like they're getting ready for a party.

Three more room for it, too.

Indeed. And they're throwing a party where much is at stake.

The Coroban is introducing his new for lunch more night.

Parker Roban?

Oh, I love his clothes.

Can't afford them, but I love them.

I'm supposed to meet his production coordinator.

I don't know where he is. Oh, there he is. You must

be the young man on the return bar.

Stefan Arkell.

And this exquisite lady to my left is Laura Winslow.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

So you're interested in modeling?

Yes.

Well, would Paco's clothes look good on me?

Paco's clothes look good on everybody.

And the ladies, they'll enjoy seeing his clothes on you.

Would you like to be an usher?

I'm your guy, gee.

So great, Stefan.

And you, young lady, I'd like you to be in our show, too.

I'll think about it.

Honey, I want to get you something real special from Paris, so...

Let me know if one of these outfits catches your eye.

Carl. Papa Rabanne's clothes cost thousands.

But... How about a nice Eiffel Tower refrigerated magnet?

All right, that's what the long line, that's it.

Thank you.

These fashion guys show up on a good feed.

Thank some father people.

These models don't eat.

Hey, Lola, step on.

You two are wonderful.

Thanks, Mom.

Thanks a lot, Mr. W. And I owe it all to the big guy here.

Hey, Carl taught me all my moves. Look out now. Oh, no.

Watch out.

Stefan, the crowd loved you.

Paparazzi loved you. After tonight, everybody in Paris will want you to

for them.

Stefan, you're really going to make modeling your career?

What a lie.

I had foreign place.

Do you really think I can make a living at it?

A living?

A living?

In six months, you'll be a supermodel.

Uh, could he do that living in Chicago?

If Stefan wants to be a model, he'll have to move to Paris.

I feel terrible.

This whole thing has gotten out of hand.

I swear, I had no idea Gilbert would kidnap you.

And I certainly didn't know he plans to kill you when it's over.

You just must be nice to me.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

What was that part about?

Killing me when it's over?