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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:16,718 Watch me. 2 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:17,720 What car? 3 00:00:18,020 --> 00:00:23,840 I hold in my hands by next the leap forward in modern refrigeration. No, 4 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,580 Urkelkowitz. Ice cubes and a cake. 5 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:30,720 Steve. 6 00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:35,620 What drives you to create these useless inventions? 7 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,440 I travel devoid of human contact. 8 00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:50,770 Handy dandy can eliminates the need for ice cubes. Why, one spray will turn a 9 00:00:50,770 --> 00:00:54,150 lukewarm beverage into a frosty cold beverage in mere seconds. 10 00:00:55,530 --> 00:00:58,910 Prepare to be dazzled. 11 00:01:04,349 --> 00:01:05,470 Oh boy, 12 00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:11,150 that was exciting. 13 00:01:12,810 --> 00:01:14,630 Don't worry, she must be clogged. 14 00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:15,790 would like to have seen that you're lucky i have 15 00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:22,030 to leave saturday big guy just make a little extra money moonlighting 16 00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:26,530 dad's got a great gig he's working security for a movie company that's 17 00:03:26,530 --> 00:03:29,510 on location he actually gets to protect movie stars 18 00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:57,690 Why? Because you care about your dear old dad? 19 00:03:57,930 --> 00:03:58,930 Of course. 20 00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:01,590 And you want to meet some starlets? Of course. 21 00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:12,850 Uncle Steve, you got a minute? What's up, 22 00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:13,990 Richmeister? 23 00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:18,089 Well, I'm having my first science fair at school, and I was wondering if you 24 00:04:18,089 --> 00:04:19,089 could help me with my project. 25 00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:20,810 Me? 26 00:04:21,269 --> 00:04:23,690 Out of everyone in this house, you're asking... 27 00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:30,320 since you're so good at science and everything. 28 00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:33,380 Why, why, I'd be honored. 29 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:40,040 Thanks. You know, Richie, your first science fair is a milestone in your 30 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,000 life. It is? Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 31 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:51,460 Why, it fosters creative thinking, trains the mind to solve complex 32 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,140 Like you could cure a deadly disease. 33 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,380 You could harness the power of the time -space continuum. 34 00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:01,210 you could invent a device that could change the course of history. 35 00:05:02,090 --> 00:05:03,670 I thought I'd make a pinwheel. 36 00:05:10,370 --> 00:05:12,670 A pinwheel's good. 37 00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:20,210 Boulevard Bullock, scene 22, take 1, mark. 38 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:23,390 It's over, Lou. 39 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,190 You're going down. 40 00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:29,060 For a long time. Jazz, wait, man. We can work this out. 41 00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:33,020 Now, everybody knows you're a cop with a taste for the good life. We can split 42 00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:34,019 the diamonds. 43 00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:35,020 Huh? 44 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,640 Tempting. 45 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,180 But not tempting enough. 46 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:43,640 Oh, brother. 47 00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:45,180 Cut! 48 00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:48,780 Who said, oh, brother? 49 00:05:49,860 --> 00:05:55,140 Who on my set thought it would be a good career move to say, oh, brother? 50 00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:04,170 Sorry. 51 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,110 It's just that that scene is a little unrealistic. 52 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:09,950 You have notes. 53 00:06:10,310 --> 00:06:13,230 I don't believe this. The security guard has notes. 54 00:06:14,590 --> 00:06:15,590 Can we get moving? 55 00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:17,310 I'm losing my gift over here. 56 00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:21,090 Your gift? Your gift is that we got you out of dinner theater. 57 00:06:21,450 --> 00:06:22,450 Now take five. 58 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:27,390 Now, what did you mean it's unrealistic? 59 00:06:28,790 --> 00:06:30,830 Well, for starters, uh... 60 00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:33,650 A cop would never scratch his head with a loaded gun. 61 00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:35,530 It's subtext. 62 00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:36,870 It's stupid. 63 00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:42,070 He could blow his brains out. Or the guy could jump him and get away. 64 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,110 You sound like you know what you're talking about. 65 00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:48,490 Well, I've been a Chicago cop for over 20 years. 66 00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:49,750 Huh. 67 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:54,870 You're one of those guys with a... What do you call it? A real job. That's it. 68 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,330 What is your name? 69 00:06:58,970 --> 00:06:59,970 Carl Winslow. 70 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,940 All right, Carl Winslow. 71 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,020 How do you see the scene? 72 00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:16,420 It's over, Luke. 73 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:20,620 You have the right to remain silent. If you refuse that right, anything you say 74 00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:24,200 can and will be held against you in a court of law. 75 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:29,700 Talk to me, C .W. What's wrong? 76 00:07:30,780 --> 00:07:33,960 Well, Jake, it's still a little too unreal. 77 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:38,040 What he's saying is real, but the way he's saying it isn't. 78 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,320 Could you show him how a real cop would do it? 79 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:44,820 Well, I don't know. Oh, come on, Kimmy, C .W., huh? 80 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,080 Well, 81 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,060 all right, why not? 82 00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:57,480 It's over, Luke. 83 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,920 or under arrest, you have the right to remain silent. 84 00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:08,260 If you refuse that right, anything you say can and will be held against you in 85 00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:09,260 court of law. 86 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,100 Yes! 87 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,280 Incredible. 88 00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,180 I really like working with him. 89 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,120 He gives me something. 90 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,140 I'm no actor. I'm just a cop. 91 00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:29,350 Exactly. 92 00:08:29,890 --> 00:08:31,030 You're a real cop. 93 00:08:31,530 --> 00:08:36,429 That's just what my movie is missing. C .W., I want you in this picture. Who's 94 00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:37,109 your agent? 95 00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:41,289 Agent? Well, well, well, when we bought our house, we had a real estate agent 96 00:08:41,289 --> 00:08:42,530 once. I think her name was Natalie. 97 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,169 Somebody get me Natalie on the phone. 98 00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:45,490 Get Natalie on the phone. 99 00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:46,910 Get me Natalie. 100 00:08:48,990 --> 00:08:51,870 Jake, Jake, you can't do this. 101 00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:57,310 Jake, Jake, I don't feel too good about getting somebody fired. 102 00:08:57,910 --> 00:09:02,350 Look at this guy, strong and sensitive, like me. 103 00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:05,130 Will you get out of here? 104 00:09:07,270 --> 00:09:08,270 So what do you say? 105 00:09:08,510 --> 00:09:09,510 Ready to act? 106 00:09:09,730 --> 00:09:10,950 Oh, Jake. 107 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:15,770 Oh, come on. You can do this. You have to seize the moment. That's what it's 108 00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:16,770 about, seizing. 109 00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:20,170 C .W., are you ready to seize? 110 00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:24,790 I guess I could seize. 111 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,820 picture of the pinwheel we're gonna build? Uh, yeah, yeah, Richie. I've been 112 00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:46,820 thinking about that. 113 00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:51,520 And a pinwheel's nice, but I'm not so sure it's gonna wow the judges. 114 00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:53,020 Why not? 115 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,480 Well, because everyone does a pinwheel. I mean, it go, and it's over. 116 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,260 I was thinking we'd do something with a little more sizzle. 117 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,080 Like what? 118 00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:07,060 I care about a project utilizing animal... 119 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,460 when you combine hot air with cold air. 120 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,160 Medium air? 121 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:21,300 No. 122 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,320 Actually, you get Congress. 123 00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:30,660 But seriously, you get rain. 124 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:36,760 Now, if my calculations are correct, using hot air and cold air, the both of 125 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:41,000 can unofficially create one of nature's strongest forces in a miniature 126 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,000 controlled environment. 127 00:10:49,829 --> 00:10:50,829 Whoa. 128 00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:01,830 Carl, 129 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,530 that's incredible. 130 00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:07,910 Laura, your dad's in a movie. 131 00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:09,150 Oh, what's he saying? 132 00:11:10,130 --> 00:11:11,730 No, he's acting in a movie. 133 00:11:12,450 --> 00:11:15,050 We want to celebrate. What time are you coming home? 134 00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:16,730 Well, I may be a little late. 135 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,310 Some of the other actors are a little shaky. 136 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,460 Hey, CW, time to twinkle. Gotta go, babe. Ciao. 137 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:25,720 Ciao. 138 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,380 Here's the next scene, CW. Let's rehearse it. Okay. Nicole! 139 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,500 Do you know who you are? 140 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:49,560 You're Nicole Moses. 141 00:11:51,820 --> 00:11:52,699 Oh, I do? 142 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:55,640 Oh, I remember. You're the security guy who ate all the donuts. 143 00:11:56,740 --> 00:12:00,440 Not anymore, though. As a matter of fact, he's your new co -star. 144 00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:02,140 You're kidding. 145 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,840 I never kid, kid. 146 00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:09,000 He walks the walk. He talks the talk. You understand? 147 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:10,960 Whatever. 148 00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,300 Let's rehearse. 149 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:24,210 the Montez brothers. 150 00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:27,670 No way am I going to tell you when the bust is going down. 151 00:12:28,430 --> 00:12:29,430 Stop it, baby. 152 00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:34,330 Now, when are you going to realize that you're the one that I long for? 153 00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:39,350 I want you so much. 154 00:12:41,050 --> 00:12:42,350 I need you. 155 00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:45,390 I'm warning you. 156 00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:53,780 for this. 157 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:58,760 I'm not falling for your gorgeous smile, your beautiful eyes, and your soft, 158 00:12:58,860 --> 00:12:59,860 pouty lips. 159 00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:01,260 Cut! 160 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,980 Cut? You can't call cut. Only the director can call cut. 161 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:09,740 Well, it says I'm supposed to kiss her passionately here. So? 162 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:14,600 Well, I'm a happily married man. I feel a little uncomfortable kissing another 163 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:19,220 woman. Why don't you do what I do? Just close your eyes and think about the 164 00:13:19,220 --> 00:13:20,220 money. 165 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,740 You're not cheating on your wife. 166 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,280 You're acting. 167 00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:28,980 It's part of the job. 168 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:35,420 Well, I don't know, Jake. Look, CW, if you want to be an actor, you 169 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:41,640 have to forget who you are. You have to become the role. 170 00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:44,920 Become the role. 171 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:49,940 Become the role. I can do it now. I love this guy. 172 00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:54,350 I'm sorry. It won't happen again. 173 00:13:55,150 --> 00:13:56,150 Whatever. 174 00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:01,970 Okay. This time, C .W., I want you to make the move on her. 175 00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:04,390 Yes. Okay. 176 00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:06,330 From that last speech, guys. 177 00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,610 And... Action. 178 00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:10,590 I'm warning you. 179 00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:12,770 I'm not falling for this. 180 00:14:13,190 --> 00:14:18,530 I'm not falling for your gorgeous smile, your beautiful eyes, and your soft, 181 00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,730 pouty, pouty lips. 182 00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:29,470 I'm sorry. I can't do this. Cut! 183 00:14:30,610 --> 00:14:34,810 Look, for the last time, you either do this or you're fired. 184 00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:40,230 You can't fire me because I quit. 185 00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:45,990 I refuse to be exploited for my good looks and my body. 186 00:14:57,290 --> 00:15:00,790 Now, we've got warm air coming through here and cold air coming through there. 187 00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:03,130 Now, what do we get when we combine the two? 188 00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:05,450 Wind. Excellent. 189 00:15:05,890 --> 00:15:07,350 All righty, mister. 190 00:15:07,870 --> 00:15:09,290 Let's make a twister. 191 00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:14,550 But first, we must don protective eye there. 192 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,180 Oh, Richie. 193 00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:11,700 Richie. Oh, 194 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,640 Richie. Richie. 195 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,140 Are you okay? 196 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,280 That was fun. 197 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,120 Can we do it again? 198 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,000 No way. 199 00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:30,060 Do you know what will make a great science project? 200 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,820 What? A pinwheel. 201 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,540 Guys better clean this mess up before Mom sees it. 202 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,580 Place look like it was hit by a tornado. 203 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:49,840 Hey, 204 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,200 movie star. 205 00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,820 Oh, hey, honey. I thought you'd be in bed. 206 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,320 Are you kidding? 207 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,720 I want to know what happened on the set. Give me every juicy detail. 208 00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:12,410 Well, first I did a fight scene. Wow. 209 00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:14,910 Then I met Nicole Moses. 210 00:19:15,190 --> 00:19:16,930 Wow. And then I quit. 211 00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,150 What? 212 00:19:20,030 --> 00:19:22,510 Harriet, they wanted me to do a love scene with her. 213 00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:24,190 What? 214 00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:28,310 Yeah. Real intense and sexy. 215 00:19:28,970 --> 00:19:30,150 And on crates. 216 00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:34,990 Well, you know, Carl, most men would have found that exciting. 217 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:39,970 Well, I know. I mean, I would have too, but... Well, when it came time to kiss 218 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,090 her, I... I was embarrassed. 219 00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:44,590 Because there were too many people around? 220 00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:46,210 No. 221 00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:48,470 Because I felt that I'd be cheating on you. 222 00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:53,730 Carl. 223 00:19:53,890 --> 00:19:56,730 Yeah? Those are really good answers. 224 00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:03,090 I don't know, honey. I guess I might cut out to be an actor. 225 00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,250 You're not married to a star. 226 00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:07,270 Oh, yes, I am. 227 00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:11,590 When it comes to a husband and father, you're a superstar. 228 00:20:12,850 --> 00:20:19,850 You know, Carl, you may never win an Oscar, 229 00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:23,130 but tonight you won yourself a Harry. Come on. 15894