Original subtitles

Morning, big guy. Oh, morning, Steve.

Hey, you want a refill?

Oh, sure.

Hope that's a math.

I named you and Harriet a snack for the queen.

Oh, gee, thanks, Ma.

Let's see now.

Okay. Four sandwiches, two bags of chips, two juices, and a six -pack of

Twinkies.

Oh, uh, where's Harriet?

Oh, Nassau is so beautiful.

I wish I was going with you. Yeah, well, Ma, this is our second honeymoon, so

I'm glad that you're not.

Your father and I never needed a second honeymoon.

Oh, why not?

Because the first never ended.

Well, I can't wait.

You know, Harry and I wanted to go to Nassau on our first honeymoon, but we

couldn't afford it back then.

Oh, Ma, look. What?

Ooh! What a nice hunk of ice.

I'm going to surprise Harry on our last night in Nassau.

Oh, no, give it on the first night.

You'll have a better time.

Now you just sit down. I'm going to confirm my seats, okay? Oh, I can take

of it.

You just sit there and be beautiful, babe.

Please get in line.

Well, there is no line.

Well, then you'll be in front, won't you?

Next.

Tickets, please.

Flight 613 to Nassau.

You're flying coach?

Yep. Oh, snug fit.

Can we cut the sarcasm and move this thing along?

I'm trying to relieve my tension.

We've had two crashes this week.

State preference?

Somewhere near the emergency exit.

Nope.

How about a window seat?

Oh, wait.

Nope.

Well, do you have any two seats together?

Yeah. Seats 12F and 12G. We'll be boarding in just...

Hello? What?

Again?

Okay.

Folks, we regret to inform you that our airline has just gone out of business.

All flights are hereby canceled.

Thanks for trying to fly out of the breeze there.

Tell your friends about us.

Well, never mind.

Listen, what's the deal? What about our tickets? Will any other airline honor

them?

Oh, you were serious.

Well, you could try that.

As for me, I'm going to grab a corn dog and go look for a new job.

Don't ever miss this.

What'd you bring?

Chicken feet.

Hot and spicy.

Now, whatcha reading?

Swimwear today.

Look at that babe right there.

Man, I'd give anything to go out with a woman this fine.

But it'll never happen.

Why not, Edo?

Why, ladies, what do you like maggots to roadkill?

Give them in!

Maybe to you.

But to pull high -caliber chicks like this, you gotta be rich, famous, have a

yacht, and not live at home.

woo -woo juice.

Woo -woo juice?

What's that?

Oh, just a love potion I whipped up a couple years back.

But does it work?

Oh, like a charm.

Let's see.

Where's my rack of patent paintings?

Ah, here we go.

Woo -woo juice.

The world's most powerful aphrodisiac.

Well, have you tried it?

Sure. Well, I used to have a lab rat named Loveless Larry.

All the lady records.

And you tried your woo -woo juice on him?

One drop.

He fathered 6 ,000 children.

Found him in his cage dead as a doornail with a big smile on his face.

Steve, I'm going to volunteer to be your first human test subject.

What? Ah, yeah. Give me that juice.

You have to consider the ethical ramifications here.

The what?

Well, Eddie, my woo -woo juice will make you irresistible to the first woman who

comes within sniffing distance.

Then the bad part is?

Why, the attraction would be artificial.

It's not free choice.

Why, the poor young lovely would be crazed with desire for you. She'd be

you and rubbing and touching you and crying and hugging and grabbing.

Look what you did.

I'm sorry, Steve.

Yeah, well, sorry won't feed the bulldog.

Just wash it off.

I can't.

No matter how hard I scrub, this stuff will stay on me for a week.

Now I've got to get out of town before some poor unsuspecting female falls

in love with me.

Steve, you left your loop in the tub again. Here.

Steve. Yeah?

There's nothing different about you.

No, no, no.

Same old nerdy icky Steve.

What's that smell?

Chicken feet.

You're so funny.

Oh, Lord.

It's a magnetic, sensuous, manly smell.

Oh.

Yesterday. Now it's just a winter bloat.

Oh, so what are you and your bloat doing later?

What? Well, I'm picturing you and me cuddling in front of a cozy fire.

Cuddling?

I'm going to go pick out something appropriate to wear for the occasion.

Steve, you've been chasing me for years.

Well, tonight, you just might catch me.

I sure hope so.

We have two tickets to Nassau on Island Air, flight 613.

Ah, gee, they went belly up.

I know. We were hoping you could honor our tickets.

Well, several people from that flight have asked us the same thing.

And? You've been hosed.

Look, there must be something you can do.

There is this little trick that only I know.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Sorry, folks. Shift change. Bye.

How'd you get another

job so fast?

Personality.

Now, what are we trying to do here?

We'd like two tickets to NASA.

All right.

Two tickets, round trip, $830.

What? Island Breeze only charged $400.

And you wonder why they went out of business.

Just give us the tickets.

You got it, Mr. Sunshine.

Yikes. Book's solid.

Booked? Solid.

Oh, wait.

Good news here.

I've got you two seats on Coral Reef Air, flight 346 to NASA, leaving from

D61. Well, great. Thanks. Yeah, okay. Where's D61?

About a mile down the concourse. Okay. Fantastic.

When do they leave?

In three minutes.

Come on.

Instead of the record -breaking blizzard they're predicting on a mobile call,

Talk?

Yeah.

Uninterrupted. There's no one else in the house.

This is a nice winter on some.

Sort of a mix between Eddie Bauer and Elmer Fudd.

Oh, I love that snort.

What?

Steve, I was hoping to see you tonight, so I put on something extra special for

you.

It's a new outfit. and I really hope you like it.

Let me help you out of that jacket.

I don't know if we should really, you know, this might not be a good idea.

I've been thinking back over all the years we've known each other and how

relentless you pursued me.

Then today, all of a sudden I realized that I'm in love with

you.

I've dreamed of hearing those words ever since the first day I laid eyes on you.

Well, you're not dreaming now.

talking about?

Well, I made a love potion called woo -woo juice and spilled it on myself.

You walked in and bam, you never stood a chance, baby.

Wait a minute, my devotion comes from a potion?

Yeah, we gotta slow down before we make that motion.

This is the antidote.

faster than Milli Vanilli's career.

See, I don't believe my feelings for you are false.

But you know what?

Even if they are, I don't care.

You don't?

No.

I love being in love with you.

It didn't work.

I still think that... You smell awful.

I do?

Yeah, I told you to throw that stuff away.

Oh, step back.

You must have been asleep on the couch because I just had the weirdest dream.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I dreamt that I fell in love with you. We even shared a passionate kiss.

Isn't that funny?

Welcome to the islands, lovely lady.

We got the sun, mon. We got the music, mon. And we got the love.

Carl. Huh?

Have you snapped your cap?

No, pretty lady. But it's true I crazy. Crazy for you.

Mrs.

Winslow, we have been married for 25 years.

We've had hard times.

And we've had good times.

But I want you to know that I wouldn't change one minute of it.

Would you spend the next 25 years of your life with me, Mrs. Winslow?

Yes, Carl.

A hundred times.

boarding shortly.

That's nice.