Original subtitles

that ten bucks I loaned you.

Right now.

Ah, shoot. I left my wallet in my other pants.

Now, that old excuse.

No problem, Bob.

to get my good pair dirty.

Duh.

Here, Waldo. Take this $10 and buy yourself a clue.

Well, he just wants me to take some special training to increase my agility

flexibility.

That's all. No big deal. Let's move on.

Wait.

What kind of training?

Just some stuff.

No big deal.

Let's move on. Oh, come on, Eddie. They're your friends. They'll

See, Eddie's coach wants him to take ballet lessons.

Really, tutu.

Dance with me at all.

All right, knock it off.

Look, a lot of top professional athletes have taken ballet to improve their

moves. You know, he's right. Peggy Fleming.

Mary Lee Brayton.

Lojo. Richard Simmons.

Listen,

I got an idea.

What? Well, why don't I take the class with you? I mean, I took ballet for

years, and I'd love to get back into it again.

Oh. Well, I would feel more comfortable if you were there.

Great.

So you get the training you need, and I'll get to see you in tights.

It's skating.

That's so sweet.

Hey, you want some hot chocolate?

I got a better way to warm up.

Oh, what's that?

Oh, Curtis.

What's wrong?

Well, my grandmother's coming over to borrow my skis, and I don't want her to

catch us kissing.

Well, won't we hear her when she's coming?

Baby, once I start on your lips, I ain't stopping. All right, the rain check?

I'll go get that hot chocolate sign.

I'll miss you.

Hi.

Hi.

Who the heck are you?

I'm Curtis Williams.

Laura and I went ice skating.

Oh!

Ain't gone for instant.

Oh, there's no hurry. I was just talking to your grandma.

Excuse me.

Oh, Lord, you gonna die.

Grandma?

Uh, Curtis, that's not my grandmother. That's my mother.

Oh, Lord, I'm gonna die.

Let's go in the kitchen and get out of this room.

Harriet!

Sweetheart, I can't find my lucky toothbrush.

It fell in the toilet.

Guess it isn't lucky anymore.

Just met Laura's boyfriend.

Yeah? He thought I was her grandmother.

Ouch.

Carl, do I really look that old?

Oh, don't be silly.

No, really. Am I an old bag?

Paper or plastic?

Carl, I'm serious.

Harry, don't overreact to some thoughtless remark by some goofy kid.

Sweetheart. When I look at you, the last word I think about is old.

Oh,

what do you know?

You're even older than me.

makes my heart go conchy -a -cone.

His class is giving a recital this Saturday.

The whole family's gonna go watch him and Greta do a scene from Swan Lake.

A Greta?

He's doing the part he do with that sleep -around suit?

Oh, well, that just won't do.

this between me and that northern strumpet?

Well, I shall carefully deploy all my bodacious battlements and I'll flank

bony...

You've been shopping.

Well, you know, Carl, I was feeling a little daddy, so I decided to give

a makeover.

Nobody's going to call me Grandma now.

No, no, no, no argument there, huh?

So, what do you think?

Well... Carl, I know...

Well, Harriet, you... You look... You...

You look, uh, you, you, that's a look, right?

Isn't that a look, Laura? Look at that.

Well, just wait until you see what else I got.

Oh, gosh, Daddy, that's Laura. Oh, I heard.

Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back. Oh, don't worry, Mom, because I can't

move.

Laura, the next time you have a boyfriend over, show him the family

okay? But, Dad, what are we going to do? Mom's dressed like Courtney Love.

Well, she's still down in the dumps about this. age saying so.

Well, let's just be supportive while she works through this.

All right.

But if she goes to Daytona for spring break, I'm speaking up.

We're late. I thought you said it wouldn't start until 8 .30.

Well, I'd much rather take us wrong.

Harriet.

Good Lord.

What have you done to yourself?

Because you look great.

And now, our two newest students, Greta McClure and Edward Winslow.

you want, Myrtle.

Am I to gather from the expression on your face that you're displeased with my

behavior?

No, I'm not displeased. I'm furious!

What did you do with Greta?

Well, she accidentally got chained to the sink.

is my girlfriend, not you.

And in fact, there is absolutely no way that you and I will ever be together.

Oh, stop saying that, Eddie. Why, over time, love can bloom.

interfering in your life.

Never again will I darken your door.

I shall... I shall return to Urkel Oaks to live a sequestered life among the

daffodils.

Perhaps I'll join a nunnery or just work for the DMV.

No, no, no.

We're just being honest.

Well, if you just relax a little and stop pushing so hard... No.

and donate them to a shelter for Madonna wannabes.

Well, why the sudden change?

Well, Carl, when we went to the recital tonight, we got a lot of strange looks

from people.

And then when we were leaving, I think two teenage girls made fun of me.

How do you know?

Well, a pointing and laughing kind of tipped me off.

boyfriend and he thought I was a grandmother, it made me crazy.

I guess I thought if I dressed younger, I'd feel younger.

Sweetheart, sit down.

Take a look at my mama.

She is the youngest 86 -year -old on this earth.

Sweetheart, age is just a state of mind.

I realize that now.

I'm not old unless I think I'm old.

Well, anyway, I'm out of the MTV generation now.

Going back to the home shopping channel.

Well, welcome back.

And, honey, thank you for not saying, Harriet, you look like a fool.

Well, I knew you'd work this out for yourself.

You didn't need my input.

I appreciate that.

Tell you what.

Come on upstairs. Let me thank you properly.

Okay, but one thing.

What? Will you wear the wig? I like the wig.