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All language subtitles for Family Matters s07e15 Random Acts of Science

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:43,510 pressure. 2 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:16,560 Are you sure? 3 00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:52,990 Steve, 4 00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:55,850 I have had it with you. 5 00:01:56,190 --> 00:02:01,590 As of this moment, you are forbidden to do any more scientific experiments in 6 00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:02,529 this house. 7 00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:03,710 No? Yes. 8 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,450 No more inventions. 9 00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:13,450 My being a scientist is my reason for being. 10 00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:15,350 I don't think so, Steve. 11 00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:18,070 I think that your reason for being... 12 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,500 I want you to clean this mess up while I go change my clothes. 13 00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:52,570 So do it. All it takes is five minutes and 30 bucks. 14 00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:56,410 Oh, you nuts. My mother would freak. She'd rant and rave and make my life a 15 00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:57,369 living nightmare. 16 00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,970 So? Right, I'll do it anyway. 17 00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:22,750 It's the happiest day of mine. 18 00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:27,330 Well, pal, what is all this stuff? 19 00:04:27,690 --> 00:04:32,050 Oh, just items we confiscated from thieves, drug dealers, and smugglers. 20 00:04:32,450 --> 00:04:34,770 Well, is my stuff going to be safe in here? 21 00:04:35,570 --> 00:04:38,170 Steve, this is a police warehouse. 22 00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:41,330 This is the safest place in Chicago. 23 00:04:46,270 --> 00:04:47,490 Well, who could that be? 24 00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:50,310 I don't know. 25 00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,370 Come on, the police officers. 26 00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:12,090 Is the city lowering their standards for police 27 00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:13,090 officers? 28 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,550 Good evening, guys. 29 00:05:18,890 --> 00:05:19,890 Hey, look, guys. 30 00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:21,780 Fresh meats. 31 00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:22,940 Yeah. 32 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:28,500 Listen, this is a city -owned building. No unauthorized personnel are allowed. 33 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:29,499 Says who? 34 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:30,500 Says me. 35 00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:33,400 Lieutenant Carl Winslow, Chicago Police Department. 36 00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:34,860 Hey! 37 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,840 You guys are the serpents. That's right. 38 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,400 Satan serpents. 39 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:05,920 What do you guys want here? 40 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:10,040 Your cops have been squeezing us lately, putting a lot of us in jail. 41 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,640 So we thought we'd even the score a little by knocking over the police 42 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,640 warehouse. 43 00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:18,060 What's your name, scoundrel? 44 00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:20,500 Snap. 45 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,920 Snap, huh? And who are they, Crackle and Pop? 46 00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:27,360 All right, all right, put the club down. 47 00:06:27,940 --> 00:06:30,660 Now, look, I'm going to order you to put your clubs and your chains on the 48 00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:31,660 floor. right now. 49 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,160 Do what he says. 50 00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:40,540 You 51 00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:47,760 didn't 52 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:48,760 mention knives. 53 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,240 Didn't bring my gun. 54 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,200 I don't know what to say. 55 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,220 What the heck is wrong with you? 56 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,200 Oh, dude, I hate you. 57 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,740 Beautiful. I love it. 58 00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:08,840 Now, what you get for you? 59 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,200 You like it? 60 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,800 Laura, what have you done to yourself? 61 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,560 Ma, I just got a nose ring. All the girls are doing it. 62 00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:23,960 Laura, the last thing in the world you need is another hole in your head. 63 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:25,820 Ma, take it easy. 64 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,840 How could you do this without discussing it with me first? 65 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,960 Look, Ma, why are you making such a big deal out of this? I mean, it's... 66 00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:42,059 the pink slip this really bothers you that much yes it does laura i 67 00:08:42,059 --> 00:08:48,560 mean it looks okay on you well that sort of thing but 68 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:55,400 what really disappoints me is that you just went ahead and did it on your own 69 00:08:55,400 --> 00:09:02,180 it's not real you bought a 70 00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:05,270 fake nose ring Yeah, because I wanted to see how nuts you'd get. 71 00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:09,190 I think I handled it pretty well. 72 00:09:12,550 --> 00:09:16,630 Okay, so I got a little crazy, but it doesn't matter now because it was a 73 00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:18,250 alarm. Case closed. 74 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,330 No, it isn't, Ma, because I want a real one. What? 75 00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:23,910 But this time I'm asking you first. 76 00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:30,270 Laura, do you really like the way you look with a nose ring? 77 00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:39,600 I won't say no. All right, but I'm not saying yes either. 78 00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:47,100 I believe you are mature enough to examine this situation thoroughly from 79 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,100 angle. 80 00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:55,540 And I trust that you will then make an intelligent 81 00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:59,640 decision as to how you are going to treat your own body. 82 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,480 I really get to decide myself. 83 00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:03,820 Yep. 84 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,000 And may God help me. 85 00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:09,660 Okay, I decide. 86 00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:12,360 I'm not getting a nose ring. Thank you, Jesus! 87 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:18,820 Because what I really want is a navel ring. Why would the navel ring? 88 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,020 Oh, thank you, Lord. You're the best. Nothing to worry about. 89 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,380 Tom. 90 00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:28,359 What? 91 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,360 I've got an idea. 92 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:30,880 So just follow my lead, okay? 93 00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,680 Well, wait a minute. What are you going to... Hey! 94 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,620 What are you two jabbering about? 95 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,500 Nothing. We're just telling each other riddles. 96 00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:42,980 Well, I got a riddle for you. 97 00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:45,320 What's dead and don't move? 98 00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:46,780 Oh, what? 99 00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:48,640 You in 30 seconds. 100 00:10:51,420 --> 00:10:52,780 It's a stupid riddle. 101 00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:07,360 Say your prayers, nerd boy. 102 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:09,080 Wait, wait, wait, wait! 103 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,620 You see that chamber over there? 104 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,880 You mean that fancy port -a -potty? 105 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,160 That's my transformation chamber. 106 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,500 What are you talking about? 107 00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:26,880 Well, you see, Mr. Snap, I'm a scientist, and I've discovered a way to 108 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:27,880 human chromosomes. 109 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,740 You see, with that machine, you could rob a bank one day as the Elvis Presley 110 00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:32,740 gang. 111 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,080 All right, stand him up. 112 00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:51,180 Cut him loose. 113 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:53,600 Take him over there. 114 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:55,460 Come on, let's get going. 115 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,540 Einstein elixir. 116 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,440 Jack Lemmon juice. 117 00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:18,420 Bruce Juice. 118 00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:20,340 Bruce who? 119 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000 Well, who knows? 120 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,460 Could be Bruce Willis. 121 00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:25,780 Could be Bruce Jenner. 122 00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:28,640 Could be Bruce Springsteen. 123 00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:34,240 All right, let's find out. 124 00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,260 I'd love to meet the boss. 125 00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:44,780 Hey, look, how long is this going to... 126 00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:46,280 Not while he's pouring. 127 00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:54,330 It wasn't Bruce Springsteen. 128 00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:55,850 It was Bruce Lee. 129 00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:02,370 Isn't that right, Bruce? 130 00:14:03,690 --> 00:14:04,870 That's right, Bruce. 131 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,310 Me Bruce Lee? The karate guy? 132 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,510 No, Sally, the cake lady. 8836