Original subtitles

pressure.

Are you sure?

Steve,

I have had it with you.

As of this moment, you are forbidden to do any more scientific experiments in

this house.

No? Yes.

No more inventions.

My being a scientist is my reason for being.

I don't think so, Steve.

I think that your reason for being...

I want you to clean this mess up while I go change my clothes.

So do it. All it takes is five minutes and 30 bucks.

Oh, you nuts. My mother would freak. She'd rant and rave and make my life a

living nightmare.

So? Right, I'll do it anyway.

It's the happiest day of mine.

Well, pal, what is all this stuff?

Oh, just items we confiscated from thieves, drug dealers, and smugglers.

Well, is my stuff going to be safe in here?

Steve, this is a police warehouse.

This is the safest place in Chicago.

Well, who could that be?

I don't know.

Come on, the police officers.

Is the city lowering their standards for police

officers?

Good evening, guys.

Hey, look, guys.

Fresh meats.

Yeah.

Listen, this is a city -owned building. No unauthorized personnel are allowed.

Says who?

Says me.

Lieutenant Carl Winslow, Chicago Police Department.

Hey!

You guys are the serpents. That's right.

Satan serpents.

What do you guys want here?

Your cops have been squeezing us lately, putting a lot of us in jail.

So we thought we'd even the score a little by knocking over the police

warehouse.

What's your name, scoundrel?

Snap.

Snap, huh? And who are they, Crackle and Pop?

All right, all right, put the club down.

Now, look, I'm going to order you to put your clubs and your chains on the

floor. right now.

Do what he says.

You

didn't

mention knives.

Didn't bring my gun.

I don't know what to say.

What the heck is wrong with you?

Oh, dude, I hate you.

Beautiful. I love it.

Now, what you get for you?

You like it?

Laura, what have you done to yourself?

Ma, I just got a nose ring. All the girls are doing it.

Laura, the last thing in the world you need is another hole in your head.

Ma, take it easy.

How could you do this without discussing it with me first?

Look, Ma, why are you making such a big deal out of this? I mean, it's...

the pink slip this really bothers you that much yes it does laura i

mean it looks okay on you well that sort of thing but

what really disappoints me is that you just went ahead and did it on your own

it's not real you bought a

fake nose ring Yeah, because I wanted to see how nuts you'd get.

I think I handled it pretty well.

Okay, so I got a little crazy, but it doesn't matter now because it was a

alarm. Case closed.

No, it isn't, Ma, because I want a real one. What?

But this time I'm asking you first.

Laura, do you really like the way you look with a nose ring?

I won't say no. All right, but I'm not saying yes either.

I believe you are mature enough to examine this situation thoroughly from

angle.

And I trust that you will then make an intelligent

decision as to how you are going to treat your own body.

I really get to decide myself.

Yep.

And may God help me.

Okay, I decide.

I'm not getting a nose ring. Thank you, Jesus!

Because what I really want is a navel ring. Why would the navel ring?

Oh, thank you, Lord. You're the best. Nothing to worry about.

Tom.

What?

I've got an idea.

So just follow my lead, okay?

Well, wait a minute. What are you going to... Hey!

What are you two jabbering about?

Nothing. We're just telling each other riddles.

Well, I got a riddle for you.

What's dead and don't move?

Oh, what?

You in 30 seconds.

It's a stupid riddle.

Say your prayers, nerd boy.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

You see that chamber over there?

You mean that fancy port -a -potty?

That's my transformation chamber.

What are you talking about?

Well, you see, Mr. Snap, I'm a scientist, and I've discovered a way to

human chromosomes.

You see, with that machine, you could rob a bank one day as the Elvis Presley

gang.

All right, stand him up.

Cut him loose.

Take him over there.

Come on, let's get going.

Einstein elixir.

Jack Lemmon juice.

Bruce Juice.

Bruce who?

Well, who knows?

Could be Bruce Willis.

Could be Bruce Jenner.

Could be Bruce Springsteen.

All right, let's find out.

I'd love to meet the boss.

Hey, look, how long is this going to...

Not while he's pouring.

It wasn't Bruce Springsteen.

It was Bruce Lee.

Isn't that right, Bruce?

That's right, Bruce.

Me Bruce Lee? The karate guy?

No, Sally, the cake lady.