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All language subtitles for Family Matters s07e03 Bugged

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,240 Honey, bacon, eggs, hash browns, and homemade biscuits. 2 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,080 Sweetheart, I love it. 3 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,920 Wait a minute. 4 00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:22,660 Did you wreck the car again? 5 00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:28,480 Carl, there's no ulterior motive. It's simply an I love you breakfast. 6 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:31,040 Well, I love you too, sweetheart. 7 00:00:31,860 --> 00:00:34,400 And I'm sorry for being so suspicious. 8 00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:35,940 Oh, that's okay. 9 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,240 I invited my boss to your poker game. 10 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,920 I knew there were some strings attached. 11 00:00:44,340 --> 00:00:48,900 But, Carl, my boss loves to play poker. You need another player, and I want to 12 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:49,900 suck up. 13 00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:53,880 Harriet, I hardly know the guy. 14 00:00:54,300 --> 00:01:00,100 Carl, if I have to go back and tell my boss that he can't play, he's going to 15 00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:01,460 very unhappy with me. 16 00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:08,310 Oh, all right, all right. He can play. 17 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:09,509 Thank you, Carl. 18 00:01:09,510 --> 00:01:10,590 I owe you big time. 19 00:01:11,210 --> 00:01:13,190 Well, you can start by getting me another biscuit. 20 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:15,030 Can't. Late for work. 21 00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:36,479 where they belong? 22 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,940 Oh, because Bugs and Hugs is coming to see them. 23 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:40,320 Bugs and Hugs? 24 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:43,060 Oh, yeah. She's a bug collector I met over the internet. 25 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:47,540 Wait a minute. You insect people get together on your computers? 26 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:49,100 Oh, yeah. 27 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,040 Why, we even have our own chat room. 28 00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:53,120 It's called The Beehive. 29 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,860 I met Bugs and Hugs there. Her real name is Agnes Pritzker. 30 00:01:58,760 --> 00:01:59,760 Agnes? 31 00:02:13,390 --> 00:02:16,430 bug chick, but I gotta go do anything else. 32 00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:26,210 Well, don't you worry, my little dung beetle. You're not going, you're just 33 00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:27,210 showing. 34 00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:42,590 How's her? 35 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,400 You're Bugs and Hugs? 36 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:55,020 That's right. And you must be Larva Dude. 37 00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:57,820 Absolutely. 38 00:02:58,460 --> 00:02:59,460 I know. 39 00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:08,100 Is anything wrong? 40 00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:13,860 No. It's just that I've never seen a bug collector with shaved legs before. 41 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,000 You've never met a female bug collector? 42 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:21,880 Shaved legs. 43 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,100 Oh, wow. 44 00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:31,340 Oh, your Supremus Fembiotus is magnificent. 45 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,120 Oh, thank you. I take pride in my carrion clown beetle. 46 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,220 Where did you find it? 47 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,480 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 48 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:45,940 And a dead fish on a riverbank right next to a badger dropping shortly after 49 00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:46,940 brunch. 50 00:03:53,390 --> 00:03:57,510 Would you consider trading your clown beetle for a chrysophora chrysocolla? 51 00:03:57,810 --> 00:04:00,090 You have a glorious scarab? 52 00:04:29,290 --> 00:04:30,069 We have a trade. 53 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,530 Why, is the Jerusalem cricket a ground dweller? 54 00:04:32,810 --> 00:04:33,810 Great. 55 00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:42,310 Well. 56 00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:44,410 Well. 57 00:04:44,890 --> 00:04:47,450 I guess I'd better run. I'm late for a party. 58 00:04:48,470 --> 00:04:50,670 Well, thanks for coming by. 59 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:54,510 Oh, my pleasure. It was nice to see the face that goes with the screen name. 60 00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,320 that holds it up. 61 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,040 Oh, that is so sweet. 62 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:06,940 Agnes? Yes? 63 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:13,240 Oh, I hope I'm not being too forward, but you sure are a pretty lady. 64 00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:18,040 Why, thank you. And that wasn't forward at all. 65 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:19,760 No? 66 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:26,340 And I happen to think that you... 67 00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:30,110 are a very attractive guy. 68 00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:41,890 Thank you. 69 00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:54,550 You know, it's strange. We just met, but I feel this... 70 00:05:55,950 --> 00:05:57,230 chemistry between us. 71 00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:58,770 Me too. 72 00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:03,090 It's like an electricity. 73 00:06:04,170 --> 00:06:05,670 You know what I think? 74 00:06:06,470 --> 00:06:07,470 What? 75 00:06:08,830 --> 00:06:10,110 It's passion. 76 00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:11,950 Oh, my. 77 00:06:14,270 --> 00:06:18,570 Sometimes passion needs to be expressed. 78 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:20,630 Your eyes. 79 00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:22,570 See, only you. 80 00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:24,670 Oh, your body. 81 00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:27,090 It's here for you. 82 00:06:27,570 --> 00:06:31,190 Your lips are aching to be kissed. 83 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,230 Deep. 84 00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:53,110 Deep. I said I guess I better run. I'm late for a party. 85 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,450 It was nice to meet you, larva dude. 86 00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:05,990 Oh, it was nice meeting you too, bugs and hugs. 87 00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:11,410 Hello. 88 00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:22,450 Where's this Niedermeyer guy? 89 00:07:22,830 --> 00:07:24,190 Oh, he'll be here any minute. 90 00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:29,290 Hey, and guys, remember, he's my wife's boss, so be nice to him. I got him. 91 00:07:29,690 --> 00:07:31,030 You're my boss. I ain't nice to you. 92 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,450 Well, that's because you don't know any better. 93 00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:37,110 You guys bust me up. 94 00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:38,990 Couple of cookie vacuums for sure. 95 00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:52,750 Carl! Yeah? 96 00:07:52,990 --> 00:07:56,390 Nick Niedermeyer. Sorry I'm late. Stopped off to get a pizza. Oh, great. 97 00:07:58,050 --> 00:07:59,039 Where is it? 98 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,040 Ate it. 99 00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:05,020 Hey, pigeons! Nick Niedermeyer. I'll spell it for you later when you write me 100 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:06,020 those hefty checks. 101 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:10,480 Choked on my chicklets. 102 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,440 Nick, this is Sergeant Willie Tannen. Hey, Willie. 103 00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:22,400 This is my neighbor, Zuhair Budo. 104 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,280 Zuhair Budo? 105 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,260 That's not a name, that's an eye chart. 106 00:08:28,270 --> 00:08:29,270 trying to pull my neck. 107 00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:33,909 Well, this is Charlie Sullivan, the assistant coroner. 108 00:08:34,169 --> 00:08:36,809 Two more murders and I get my 300 dead guy pin. 109 00:08:37,630 --> 00:08:38,630 Good luck. 110 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,710 Enough chit -chat. Let's play poker. 111 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,190 All right. 112 00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:45,370 Okay, fellas. 113 00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:49,110 The stakes are 50 cents, a dollar, and 5 ,000 on the last card. 114 00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:50,370 What stakes? 115 00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:53,570 Come on. Let's put some serious money on the table. 116 00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:56,430 Uh, no, this is just a friendly game. 117 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,040 Your five. 118 00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:08,780 And raise your five. 119 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:11,520 I fold. 120 00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:19,860 What is so funny? 121 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,160 All I had was a ten high. 122 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:23,720 What do you have? 123 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,340 A pair of kings. 124 00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,500 I bluffed you, pal. 125 00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:30,180 You should have stayed in. 126 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,980 Well, thanks for pointing that out. 127 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,640 I may have to rename my house Chateau Winslow. 128 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,840 Because you're buying it for me. 129 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,540 This game has taken a dark turn. 130 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,340 So, Carl, how's the game going? 131 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,140 Oh, just fine, sweetheart, just fine. 132 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,260 I'm in the same game. 133 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:56,900 He's a loud, stinky man. 134 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:00,360 Relax, Zuhair. 135 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,180 It's just like I told my wife. 136 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,320 Everything is just... 137 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:47,700 Lucky guess. 138 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,600 Oh, Myra. 139 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,480 I need some advice. 140 00:10:58,100 --> 00:10:59,620 Here's some. Burn the slippers. 141 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,060 No. I cheated on Myra. 142 00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:09,060 You found another woman willing to touch you? 143 00:11:20,490 --> 00:11:23,410 She's a humma -humma, whoa -mama, strip -stretch -me -doll baby. 144 00:11:26,090 --> 00:11:32,690 And a woman like that is interested in you because... Well, we both love 145 00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:37,350 bugs. And she came over to trade some. And then, bam, I got hot. 146 00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:41,470 You got hot? 147 00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:42,750 Oh, my. 148 00:11:42,930 --> 00:11:48,590 I'm so ashamed of the things I did with Agnes in my naughty, naughty mind. 149 00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:51,730 Wait a minute. Back up. 150 00:11:54,390 --> 00:11:55,810 Did you say in your mind? 151 00:11:56,310 --> 00:11:57,149 Oh, yes. 152 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,670 I never actually did anything with Agnes. 153 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,550 I imagined it. 154 00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:03,210 Then you didn't cheat on Myra. 155 00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:04,630 But I did. 156 00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:06,870 I lost it in my heart. 157 00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:09,910 Steve, everyone has fantasies. 158 00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:12,790 Oh, have you ever heard fantasies about me? 159 00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:28,829 I did. 160 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:29,830 Really? 161 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:31,710 Yeah. 162 00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:34,470 You were waving to me. 163 00:12:34,910 --> 00:12:37,430 From the back of a moving van. 164 00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:49,550 If you 165 00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:51,970 really feel like you've done something wrong, then I think you should tell her 166 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:52,970 and get it off your chest. 167 00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:54,950 But I might lose her. 168 00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:57,150 That's just a chance you'll have to take. 169 00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,870 That's the only way you'll be able to live with yourself. 170 00:13:00,590 --> 00:13:01,590 You're right, Laura. 171 00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:03,150 I'm going to tell Myra. 172 00:13:04,470 --> 00:13:08,310 But if she dumps me, will you be my sweetie? 173 00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:16,070 Well, you are really a true... Go ahead. Think it over. 174 00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:33,900 Carl. 175 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,320 Three kings. 176 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,280 Good. 177 00:13:39,660 --> 00:13:42,260 But not good enough. 178 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:43,780 A flush. 179 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:53,560 You know, Carl, you got the wrong last name. It shouldn't be Winslow. It should 180 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:54,700 be Winsnever. 181 00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:06,070 Okay, guys, let's pony up for the... the food how much is it again five bucks 182 00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:12,170 each that's not fair why not well look at you i could live a year on just what 183 00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:13,170 you spill 184 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,560 putting five bucks for the refreshments? 185 00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:14,760 Well, Nick, if you feel that's too much, just put in whatever makes you feel 186 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:15,760 comfortable. 187 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,140 Well, how about nothing? 188 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,100 That'll make me feel real comfortable. 189 00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:34,960 Oh, that's your romance, isn't it? 190 00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:37,610 Stars, the full moon. 191 00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:42,330 Well, I'm sorry, banana butt. 192 00:15:44,690 --> 00:15:47,210 But I'm preoccupied. 193 00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:49,610 I have a confession to make. 194 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,350 What is it? 195 00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:52,890 I met a girl. 196 00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:54,230 No. 197 00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:56,430 Her name is Agnes. 198 00:15:58,450 --> 00:15:59,450 Agnes? 199 00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:01,910 That's a stupid name. 200 00:16:03,610 --> 00:16:05,130 I met her on my computer. 201 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,280 internet tramp. 202 00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:14,880 She came over to trade bugs, but the thing is, she was devastatingly 203 00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:20,000 What? Why, the next thing I knew, I was picturing myself giving her a big... 204 00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:58,870 No biggie. 205 00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:00,990 Come again? 206 00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:06,590 Steven, you're a strapping young man with raging desires, and I can't control 207 00:18:06,590 --> 00:18:07,590 your fantasies. 208 00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:11,870 But if you ever act on them, I'll nail your ears home to Mama. 209 00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:14,130 Are we? 210 00:18:15,530 --> 00:18:20,390 After all, you're a macho piñata with big prizes inside. 211 00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:23,770 And I'm not the only gal in line to smack you. 212 00:18:24,330 --> 00:18:25,229 Came true. 213 00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:26,169 Came true. 214 00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:27,170 And besides, 215 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:33,540 My job is to make sure your real life is a whole lot hotter than your bug bimbo 216 00:18:33,540 --> 00:18:34,540 fantasy. 217 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,000 into this game, and you've been acting like a jackass. 218 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,960 It's really okay. No, it's not okay, Carl. 219 00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:23,320 I kept quiet last week, and I haven't said anything tonight. 220 00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:27,260 This poker game is important to you, and I messed it up by inviting this 221 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:28,260 windbag. 222 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:35,940 Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? 223 00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:06,280 I wasn't being transferred. 224 00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:09,220 Transferred? 225 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,060 They're moving me to the automotive department. 226 00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:17,580 So you can't fire me? 227 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,120 That's right. 228 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:26,240 Ah, so you have no authority over my wife whatsoever. 229 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,360 None. 230 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:33,540 Honey, I think Nick needs a napkin. 231 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:34,760 Oh, sweetheart. 232 00:20:35,409 --> 00:20:38,110 I do believe that you're right. 233 00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:41,290 There we go. 234 00:20:41,650 --> 00:20:43,630 Watch that there. Ah, there you go. 235 00:20:44,470 --> 00:20:45,470 Look at it. 236 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:28,920 It's like playing with man. 15528