Original subtitles

Oh, chick magnet.

All right, you neighbor, come in, come in.

Well, how you been?

Great, great, great.

And you? Jim Dandy. Oh.

You don't remember me at all, do you? Oh, not a clue.

I'm Larry Johnson.

Pastor Fuller asked you and Harriet to counsel me and my fiancée about the

pitfalls of marriage. Oh, right, right.

Hey, we gave you some pretty good advice.

Marilyn getting along.

We're divorced.

Catch it.

Just kidding.

Actually, me and the little wifey are simpatico -habitating beautifully.

Great. Well, have a seat.

So,

what can I do for you? Well, Mr. Winslow, if I may call you that, my

birthday is tomorrow, and, well, I bought her something kind of special.

Oh, how thoughtful.

I'm a thoughtful guy.

The problem is, you can't hide it in the house because the little wifey's a

snoopster. So I was hoping I could entrust it to you for safekeeping.

Oh, why me?

Well, you're a member of our church, a respected leader of our community, and

you've shot people.

So how about it? It'll just be for one day, huh?

Well, no problem, Larry, if I may call you that.

Hey, you got the gun.

ganglia form the insect brain.

A nerve ring connects the ganglia with more

ganglia from which the ventral nerve cord stems.

Gang.

Don't you ever knock?

I live here.

your children and have all my best body parts drop four inches?

There should be no secrets between us.

Four inches?

Fill it, Sparky.

Well, this morning, I accidentally saw one in the book.

I saw her in the... in the... raw.

What did you feel?

Nothing. I never touched her.

I meant emotionally.

I was mortified. I was humiliated.

So you were embarrassed for Laura. For the both of us.

This is for you, sweetheart.

What could this be?

Harry, this is the watch we saw at the mall last week. I know. I went back and

got it. Oh, sweetheart, I love it. This is beautiful.

Oh, hey, it's got an alarm and a stopwatch.

And a calendar, too. I set it for today, the anniversary of our first date.

That's right.

Oh,

what do we have here?

What? My present. Oh, no, no, no.

Sweetheart.

I hear Julie.

He's calling my name. No, Harriet.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no,

no.

It's not yours.

Hey, Mr. Winston. Hey, Larry. Thanks for coming right over.

What's up, guy? When you called, Marilyn and I were in the middle of a rousing

game of Pictionary.

I was trying to draw an ottoman. It was really... Right. Listen, why don't you

have a seat?

Look. Oh, can I get you anything? A soda, chips, a lobster?

No, thanks.

Okay. Let me tell you why I asked you to come over, now, neighbor old pal of

mine.

You see, when you left Marilyn's present with me this afternoon, a

funny thing happened.

What?

Well, you see, today happens to be the anniversary of my first date with

Harriet.

But when she saw your gift, get this.

She thought it was for her.

That's hilarious.

You killed me. It must have been really awkward when you had to tell her that

she was rude.

Let's hear it, Einstein.

Well, I figure I'll just go and buy the identical bracelet, and then you can

give that one to Marilyn.

Huh?

Oh, keen.

I'll just get some pertinent info. All right.

Okay,

it was Zagner's Jewelers on Argyle Street, and it was $3 ,800.

Sure, Carl. I love her.

Well, I love my wife, too, but 3 ,800 bucks?

What are you, rich?

Oh, heck no.

But my dad is. You ever hear of mobile oil?

Your father owns mobile oil?

No, but he sure sued him.

of Breastie?

and stomachs.

What's going on here?

Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

What happened?

You see each other naked or something?

So what you saw turns gray.

Bruno's right.

We have to deal with this.

You're right.

Well, how do we start?

Well, we could try looking at each other without turning beet red.

I feel better already.

Oh, me too.

Oh, Ma, I just hope you know that what happened was purely an accident.

Oh, Steve, of course.

Otherwise, I'd have to kill you.

Why, never in my wildest fantasies have I ever envisioned you in the altogether.

Of course there was that one hot summer night.

I was tossing and turning in bed, and I pictured you in slacks and a blue

blazer.

Fortunately, mine are nothing like yours, but we all have them.

Well, I don't know if I can sleep tonight.

I'm afraid I might see again what I shouldn't have seen but did.

Well, Steve, we can't go back in time and change what happened.

True. Well, at least not until the government gives me some plutonium.

Right.

Anyway...

I appreciate the fact that when you saw me, you looked away.

Almost immediately.

And you didn't go blab about it to a bunch of guys.

Oh, of course not.

Why, I have profound respect for you.

And I appreciate the fact that when you saw me, you didn't point and laugh.

Believe me, Steve, there was nothing to laugh about.

I better rehearse this.

Harriet, I am very sorry, but the bracelet does not belong to you. It

someone else.

Who?

Harriet, sweetheart.

What are you still doing up?

Carl, if this isn't my bracelet, then whose is it?

Marilyn Johnson's. What?

presents for Marilyn Johnson.

I'm not her husband, Larry Johnson.

He gave it to me to hold for him until tomorrow when he's going to give it to

her for her birthday.

I'm sorry, sweetheart. I would have told you sooner, but when I saw how happy

you were when you saw it, well, I just couldn't.

I see.

You got the box?

Well, that's not important.

Honey, I know how disappointed you are.

Carl, I'm not disappointed about the bracelet.

Well, I am.

But what really disappoints me is that you forgot our anniversary again.

Oh, no, no, I didn't.

It's just that the... Well, the present I got you is not nearly as expensive as

that bracelet.

What'd you get me?

Happy 25th anniversary of our first date, Mrs. Winslow.

Oh, Carl.

This is from our first date. The photo booth at the carnival. Yep.

You know, I remember this.

By the time we got to the top of the Ferris wheel, I knew I was with the man

was going to marry.

And you know what?

We've been going around ever since.

Right. Good day.

Victory.