Original subtitles

Mr.

Winslow, isn't it a little late to play baseball?

Wazo, isn't it a little late to be in my kitchen?

Hey, it's never too late for a nutritious snack.

Pickles?

I hate to bring this up, Waldo, but you don't even live here.

What's your point?

The point is, Waldo, that you should be eating at your own apartment.

But I might wake up Eddie.

Well, you woke me up.

What does it matter? You're going out to play baseball.

So, Waldo, You walked all the way over here in your pajamas?

Of course not. That would be stupid.

I take the bus.

Well, you can take the same bus right back.

You know, I'm starting to feel that I'm not wanted here.

Good, Waldo. Go with that feeling. See where it takes you.

have to paint me a picture.

I'll just have to finish my snack at home.

My name is on the bills.

I looked at it yesterday.

Huh? Boy, it's a little late to be playing baseball.

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. The love and tradition of the grand...

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams. Real love bursting out of every

scene.

Days go by.

It's the bigger love.

Oh, French?

No, I spoke fluent idiot.

Man, I blew it.

Every time I see her, my mind goes blank.

Huh?

The girl of my dreams.

There's right above me, but she might as well be a thousand miles away.

What's wrong?

Guys, I've got bad news.

My father invented something called a brain cam. It's a microscopic camera

that's inserted into the brain to locate brain damage.

Why is that bad news?

Well, he's been asked to demonstrate it in hospitals all across the country.

Cutie, pretty, fun time, cutie.

Oh, man, that is rough.

Oh, and I don't want to miss my senior year of high school.

Definitely not. Those were the best three years of my life.

Oh, I'll never make it in Russia.

You have to stand in line for two weeks to get cheese.

Well, Steve, why don't you just stay in your house?

Oh, my Pa Urkel already rented it out.

I might never see you guys for the rest of my life.

Well,

send us a postcard.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Stranger.

To what do we owe the honor of this visit?

Well, I got a big problem.

Steve's parents are moving to Russia.

Is Steve going too?

Well, he is if he doesn't find a place to stay.

He asked if he could move in with me and Waldo.

What'd you tell him?

Well, I told him I'd think it over.

Think it over?

Think it over?

Edward, you are Steve Urkel's best...

rises and sets on you but you

need to show a little compassion a little humanity

can you just picture poor steve moving all the way to russia away from all of

his friends away from the only home he's ever known can you really do that to

steve and still look at yourself in the mirror

No. I think not.

Well, I guess I better go tell Steve he can come and live with us then. You

better. You go, boy.

Okay,

Carl.

You want to tell me what all that was about?

What?

Steve moved in with Eddie and Waldo. He won't be asking to move in with us.

Carl Winslow, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Oh, I am.

I really am.

So, Mother Winslow, what are you and Fletcher doing tonight?

Well, Fletch is going hunting, what are you doing?

I'm hiding.

Oh, my. Grandma, guess what?

I got straight A's on my report card. You did?

Congratulations. Oh, got an A in Fletch. Oui, absolument.

Oh, that's my girl.

Oh, I'm so proud of you, Laura.

How'd you do, Max?

Oh, let's just say we came here instead of my house.

Gotcha. You know, at times like this, I wish Eddie hadn't moved out. Oh, are you

missing, huh?

No, it's just way more fun to gloat in person than by phone.

I'm living with Eddie and Waldo. I'm living with Eddie and Waldo. I'm living

with Eddie and Waldo.

There's a no singing clause in our leaf.

Can Eddie and I come?

He's treating us, Waldo.

Okay. But those other guys are going to be mad.

They can come too, Waldo.

Who?

Hey, before we go, you guys want to see something, me?

Those are disgusting.

buddies did with their snacks.

They've got the right idea.

Let's go try and eat.

Yeah, especially since Steve's buying.

stop crying.

your dreams just dropped.

Actually, there's a good side to this.

You see, I've been dying to talk to you.

Well, you will.

In court.

Oh, baby.

Well, I'm glad my Aunt Agnes wasn't here.

She has a wooden leg.

is you, me, and him in a collective sense.

I know. I was being sarcastic.

Man, I'm gonna have to move back home now.

Yeah, and I'm gonna have to move back home, too.

At least you guys have homes to go to.

I'll be headed to Moscow, where I'll go to Boris Yeltsin High School for my

senior year.

Oh, I hear if you're a nerd, they pour vodka down.

Mrs. Winslow, it is so thoughtful of you to buy Laura a new outfit.

Well, I just wanted to get her something nice for making straight A's.

I just hope she likes it. Oh, don't worry. She is gonna love it.

You

look

hot. Do you like it?

So glad.

You know, I got a pair of earrings that look great with that. I'll run up and

get them.

Ooh, girl, that dress is the bomb.

Girl, give it up. My mom's gone.

Huh? Girl, you know this thing is awful.

I only said I liked it because I didn't want to hurt my mom's feelings.

Oh, really?

Yeah. She definitely has great taste.

She must have bought this thing in a blackout.

I picked out that dress for your mother.

You did.

You're kidding, right?

You're not kidding?

Your mom asked me to help her find something nice for you.

And I happen to think this look is a vast improvement over the clothes you

normally wear.

And what's wrong with the clothes I normally wear?

Nothing.

If you don't mind, dowdy.

Dowdy.

You know, that's real funny coming from you.

made Mr.

Blackwell's ten worst dress list.

Oh, no.

You don't want to go there. Oh, yes, I do, and I just didn't.

Hey!

Hold it!

Hold it!

What's going on here?

Ma, why did you let Maxine pick out this horrible outfit?

Well, I'm sorry you don't like it.

Max helped me go shopping as a favor. She gave up her entire Saturday

for you.

I would think that you'd be a little bigger and show some gratitude.

That's right.

And Max, honestly now, did you think this outfit would look good on Laura or

you?

Well, I guess on me.

You know, you two are friends.

You like each other for what you have in common.

You should also like what's different.

Friends can like different things and still be friends.

You're right, Mom.

Do you mind if I get his dress to Max?

No, I don't mind.

That would be nice.

It's all yours, girl.

Wow. Hey, you got straight A's and I got a new dress.

Life is good.

Hi, everybody.

Have you guys missed me since I moved out?

Only like crazy.

Good, good. I'm glad you feel that way.

You see, I had a little mishap in my apartment.

Mishap? Well, yeah. You see, Steve sort of invented a super breed of termite

that kind of ate through the third and fourth floors.

Well, anyway, I was wondering if I could move back home.

You mean here?

Well, yeah.

Well, gee, Eddie, I don't know.

Of course you can move back.

I miss you so much, Eddie. Oh, my little boy's coming back home.

Well, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Now, if your apartment is destroyed, where is Steve going to live?

on to Russia, are you?

I ain't so.

My plane leaves in two hours.

My dad got me a ticket less than coach.

Pheasant.

Have a nice flight.

Couldn't Steve live with you?

That mother, that's a very big decision and I'm going to take a few months to

think about it.

Think about it.

Think about it?

Why would you have to think about it, Dad?

Well, you see... Dad, you are Steve Urkel's hero.

In his eyes, the sun rises and sets on you.

Picture poor Steve moving all the way to Russia, away from all his

friends, away from the only home he's ever known.

Can you let that happen to poor Steve?

And still look at yourself in the mirror every day?

Well, I never thought I'd say this, but Steve...