Original subtitles

My old Mario.

Get out of here.

Why are you all gussied up?

Well, I'm going out with Lamont Drake.

Oh, good.

Does his parole officer know?

Cute.

Look, I don't want you scaring him off, so make like a bakery truck and haul

buns.

Gotcha. I'm the invisible man.

Hey, wait a minute.

I think I got a loose thread there. Let me just...

I'm

just saying, man, here's your date.

Good idea.

I think I should leave.

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. The love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

It's all I see is a tower of dreams.

The bigger love of the family.

Tutti Frutti Crunch. Lots of little kids at home, huh?

Just one big one.

Thank you.

Did I do that?

toy for your pretty face.

Yeah, that's why I'm buying it.

Excuse me, officer.

I just saw a guy in the meat department stuff a chicken under his shirt.

Well, I guess I should go check it out.

Yeah, well, be careful, Carl.

What's he gonna do, hit me with a rump roast?

That'll be $67 .41.

Oh, I'll pay for the penny.

Attention, shopper!

Give me all your cash.

Now! You too. You, hand over your purse.

Why, this is an outrage.

That purse was an anniversary gift.

Shut up!

And give me your cash!

Okay, okay, okay.

You know, I'm beginning to think you don't even have a cat.

Come on, fork it over!

What are you doing?

My hand is stuck.

What did General Douglas MacArthur say when he left the Philippines?

I'm hungry.

No, he said, I shall return.

No, I'm hungry. How about you?

I thought you'd never ask. I shall return.

Hey,

Ma! I need help with my lawn!

Please.

I'm sorry.

I must have the wrong house.

There's nobody as beautiful as you live here.

You must be Eddie.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't move.

I don't ever want to forget the way you looked when I first saw you.

Yep, you're definitely Eddie.

I thought I knew all of Laura's friends.

I'm Greta.

Oh, hey, Greta.

How come we never met? I've been away in boarding school, but through a fair

amount of whining, I convinced my dad to let me go to public school my senior

year. Well,

this calls for a celebration.

And it just so happens that I'm free this Saturday.

Couldn't get a date, huh?

But I'd love to go out with you.

Well, great.

Then it's a date, baby.

Oh, that must be my dad. He's picking me up.

Hi, precious.

Hi, Daddy.

Oh, man.

You're the Dave L. McClure, owner of all 52 Mighty Weenies? 53. I just opened

another one. Oh, man.

The genie of weenies.

He's in my house.

I'm in his store at 31. I'm Eddie Wynn's lover.

Never heard of you.

Daddy, Eddie and I are going out Saturday night.

If that's okay with you, sir.

That's fine.

Well, I'm going to say goodbye to Laura. Okay.

Don't be too long, precious. Okay.

Listen, kid.

That's my one and only daughter. She's the most important person in the world

me. Lay a hand on her and you're fired.

Is that clear?

As a bright and sunny day?

Will you listen to this?

According to eyewitnesses, Joey Lutofsky's brother, Ricky, distracted a

officer while Joey held up Alicia's market.

When asked why he didn't respond, the officer replied, I was frisking a guy

chicken.

Don't feel bad.

The important thing is that everyone's okay.

Mr. Winslow, we have to talk to you right away.

Come in.

What's going on?

My Stevie's life is in danger.

What is it?

Wait. I think I noticed someone looking through my bedroom window.

Well, Steve, what made you think it was suspicious?

It tried to run me over.

Well, Steve, it might have been an accident.

Uh -uh. It backed up and tried again.

Of course, there's one more tiny clue that someone's after me.

Dear nerd, you kept my brother busted. When I catch you, I'm going to kill you

dead.

Now, if that's not a clue, my name isn't Myra Boutros Boutros Monkhouse.

Carl, you've got to do something.

You're right.

I'll call Wilson and Major Crimes Unit.

Oh, I'm so scared.

I don't know what I would do without my little Chia Pet.

Now, now, now, Bunny Break.

You're my Shady Amour.

The pretty little boy that I...

Well, what's good news?

Well, until Ricky the Top is caught, Steve is going to be guarded around the

clock. And what's the bad news?

I'm one of the guards.

That clown was planning.

I don't mean to complain, but during the slow dances, you could have held me a

little closer.

We were pretty close.

Eddie, a waitress walked between us.

I'm sorry. I'm just trying to be a perfect gentleman.

How am I doing?

You're doing fine, but you're a little uptight. You need to relax.

All right. I'll try.

I have a confession to make.

From the moment I saw your lips, I knew I had to kiss them.

taking things slowly, that's all.

Yeah, right.

Oh, yeah.

No,

no, no, no.

What's the rush?

Eddie, I've been in an all -girls school for three years, and I want to make up

for lost time.

with a great bod I'm a real person with real feelings and

besides you'll respect me more if we wait you're right

you're right let's just see how long you can wait

to go home and get some rest.

Some rest? I got six kids at home.

I'll see you later.

Not if I see you first.

Hey, big guy. Huh? Did you have any luck finding that fellow Tomsky?

Uh, no, Steve. I'm afraid not.

No, we're not.

Are you sure?

Trust me, I looked it up.

If you don't feel you can do the same, then I feel as a friend.

Okay.

Steve, I have lost my edge.

I mean, it's over.

My cop sense is gone.

I don't understand.

Well, because of me, you and Harry were put in danger.

I mean, how can I fall for a line like, there's somebody stealing chickens?

I'm just going to get them too old for this.

Oh, nonsense.

Why, you're a hip -hop, tip -top cop.

You always have been and you always will be.

I don't know, Steve.

I just don't know.

Well, don't you worry. I'm going to cheer you up.

I'm impressed.

It is hot in here, and I'm on fire.

Excuse me?

Daddy, what are you doing here?

Apparently, arriving in the nick of time. Get in the car.

But, Daddy... Greta, get in the car.

No. What?

Didn't I warn you not to put any moves on my daughter? You're fired.

What? You heard me, and I'm going to check your time cards, too.

You can't fire him.

He didn't put the moves on me. I put the moves on him.

What? All my life, you've told me what to do. You wouldn't let me date. You

me a 10 o 'clock curfew, and you sent me away in an all -girls school.

Well, I'm tired of it. I did all those things because I love you.

Uh, with all due respect...

I have to agree, you are just a tad bit overprotective.

You're fired.

What are you still doing here?

This is my parents' house.

Oh. Oh, yeah, right.

Daddy, you're holding on too tight.

And instead of getting closer to me, you're pushing me away.

Precious, you... You have been gone for a long time.

Maybe we should sit down and have a serious talk.

I'd like that.

You know what I'd like?

What?

My job back.

You got it.

Great.

You know what I want?

What? To see you again.

You got it.

Come on, let's go home and...

And have a talk.

Okay.

Eddie, I had a really good time tonight.

Cool.

Well, now that I know it's okay for me to see you again, there's something I'd

like to give you.

What's that?

This.

Surprise, kid.

So you want to squeal on my brother, huh?

I'll give you something to squeal about.

Hey, who sneezed on that thing?

Tell you what.

Today's victim's choice.

How do you want to die?

I can throw you out the window, drown you in the sink, or blow your brains

Can we possibly add old age?

goodbye to Miller, I said, I'll see you later. And he said, okay.

So?

Steve, I've known Miller for years.

And every time we see each other, I say, I'll see you later. He says, not if I

see you first.

Holy moly!

You got all that from one word?

Oh, big guy, you haven't lost your age.

Now, you're still a great cop.

Wow, Steve, I...

Guess you're right. I still got the stuff, huh?