Original subtitles

You look pretty good.

Thank you. You look pretty good yourself, too, handsome.

I'm hungry. Can I eat you?

Let me have some arm. No, I need my arm. Ow, don't do that. Ow, ow, ow.

I'm going to have some leg.

Steve, I was just baking some cookies.

Oh, don't feel bad.

The other day, I had a little heart -to -heart with a big Newton.

Hey, can I eat a bacon bunny? Huh? Huh? Huh? What do you say? No, no, Steve.

Thank you very much, but whenever you help me, it turns into a disaster.

Steve.

Tasty cookie is not a tasty cookie.

Needs more flour.

You want some help with that?

To read any good news on the newspaper page.

And love and tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams.

I'm almost embarrassed to give this to Goodwill.

Where did I ever get such an ugly, hideous piece of clothing?

It was a gift from me two years ago.

I got Laura's stuff.

I'm always doing her dirty work.

Why ain't she here to lug it down herself?

She's out shopping for your Christmas presents.

And I love my sister.

Goodwill.

Goodwill.

Trash.

Goodwill.

Hey, everybody.

I finished my Christmas list, and I can't wait to send it to Santa. Oh,

wonderful, honey. Yeah, I was able to keep the list under 100 items.

Uh, Richie, you know there is more to Christmas than just getting toys.

I know.

I got clothes on my list, too.

I think what your mom is trying to say is that, well, Christmas should be the

time to celebrate the Ings.

Ings? Yes, the Ings.

Giving, caring, sharing, loving.

That's what Christmas should be about.

Yes, sweetie. You know, we're lucky to have a nice, warm, comfortable home. But

there's some people out there not so lucky.

That's why we're donating these things to goodwill. Yeah, so people less

fortunate can have a happier Christmas.

Boy. I'm just a selfish, toy -grubbing slime ball.

Oh, no, you're not. You're just a little boy, and you're excited about

Christmas. Hey,

I like this same thing.

I'm going to donate some toys.

Hey, you got some toys you're tired of?

Sure, the ones I got last Christmas.

This thing's seen better days.

See ya.

So you finished all your Christmas shopping yet?

Are you kidding? Well, I finished in March.

Oh, but I can't for the life of me figure out what to get Laura.

I'm in my wit's end.

Well, don't kid yourself.

Just buy her a nice card.

Nah.

All right, how about a fruitcake?

Oh, man's sakes, man. This is the woman I love, not the mailman.

Why, I want to get her something so special she'll feel it's all right.

Touched her very heart.

Ah, and there she is now, my precious Christmas angel.

Stacy.

Eddie, have you seen Emily?

Emily? Yeah, my favorite rag doll, the one with the missing eye.

Wait a minute.

Uh, is that the one with the red dress?

Yeah, that's her.

Oh.

I'm sorry, Laura, but, uh...

I threw her in the trash.

You what?

Well, I went to get your stuff, and I thought you wanted to throw it away. It

was on the bed on the pile. No, it was on the bed sitting near the pile.

Well, it was old and dirty.

Then, like you said, it had a missing eye.

That's because I had it since I was six.

I love that doll, Eddie.

How could you do something like this?

Laura, I'm sorry. I was just trying to help.

Thanks a lot, Eddie.

You ruined my whole Christmas.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Richie. Howdy.

Uh, Richie, who's your friend?

This is Ben. I was playing out front, and he walked by.

You have a very nice house.

Thank you.

Ben's homeless. I invited him to live with us.

You what?

What's for dinner?

Richie, could you come here for a minute, honey?

So, Ben, you're homeless.

Not anymore.

Ben, where are you from?

You name it.

I've been there.

I've traveled the world and I've seen wondrous things.

Hey, Ben, would you like a sandwich?

If I said no, I'd be a liar.

Come on, we've got a kitchen full of food.

Uh, uh, uh, Ben?

You go right ahead and help yourself.

Richie will join you later.

Fine. Can I whip you guys up something? No, thanks.

Nobody's hungry.

Well, I am.

Rich, why did you invite him here?

Ben's one of those people you were talking about.

Someone less fortunate.

He's had some bad luck.

And you said we should help people like that.

Well, Richie, I'll tell you what.

He can have Christmas Eve dinner with us, okay?

Yeah, and then we'll find a shelter for him to live in. Yeah, and then we'll

help him find a job.

But I'm sorry, Rich. He just can't live here.

Listen, when I'm done chowing down, I'm gonna pay you back by waxing your

kitchen floor.

Well, you know, maybe he can stay a day or two.

find a needle in my haystack.

Hey! A needle!

Ow!

Wow, Mama! The wind shifted.

And who might you be?

Howard Rand.

Great to meet you, Howard.

And Merry Christmas.

Do you belong to...

Come Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane.

Well,

hi there, Ben.

My, my, my.

You have been busy.

I just wanted to pay you back for your hospitality.

You know, Ben, I pulled a few strings and, well, I got you into a halfway

That's very nice of you, Carl.

But first, we'd like you to stay to enjoy a nice Christmas Eve dinner with

Sorry, Guy, no can do.

I have to leave right after I finish ironing this tablecloth.

Uh, Ben, those are my shorts.

Oh, sorry.

Well, I'm off.

I've got to get ready for my busiest night of the year.

Well, Ben, you know...

You don't have to panhandle anymore. I got a line on the job for you.

It's not necessary. I got a lot of homes to hit.

Uh, Ben, Ben, you know, breaking and entering won't solve your problems.

No, no.

I just don't want to disappoint all the children.

The children?

Yeah, they want their toys.

And I've got to get up to the North Pole and see how the elves are doing.

Yeah.

Um... Ben, are you saying that you're Santa Claus?

Shh, shh.

It's our secret.

Yeah, yeah.

But if you're Santa Claus, Ben, why are you homeless?

Oh, that's just part of my plan.

Your plan?

You see, Christmas has become so darn commercial.

I wanted to find a family that embodied the true spirit of Christmas.

And I found that family here, Carl.

Well, thank you, Ben.

Don't worry.

I'll be back while you're sleeping.

Oh, yeah, and I'll be sure to put the fire out in the fireplace.

Thanks. So many people forget.

You think I'm nuts, don't you?

Oh, no, no, no.

You're right, Ben.

Christmas has become very commercial.

I was just discussing that the other day with the Easter Bunny.

I understand.

You're still ticked off about Christmas morning, 1958, aren't you?

What are you talking about? I got your five letters asking for the Commander

Crash dive space helmet.

What?

That was one of our hottest items that year.

I just ran out, Carl.

And I've felt bad about it ever since.

But you... I'm sorry.

Merry Christmas.

But you... How did he know that?

Come on, honey. Cheer up. It's Christmas morning.

I know.

But remember, Mom, I got Emily on a Christmas morning.

Man, these are beautiful.

What a great present.

You got to love these, Grandma.

I'm going to be the best. That's the snow bunny on the slope.

Hi,

everybody. I can't stay long. I have to get over to my family's house to watch

Dad light the fireworks.

Fireworks are for the Fourth of July.

You're right. And I suppose turkeys are for Thanksgiving.

Merry Christmas, Eddie. Oh, thanks.

Although these are really nice, but I already have the same pajamas.

I know. I wanted to get you something I knew you'd like.

Steve, I thought this doll was gone forever.

This is the best present you've ever given me. How can I ever thank you?

I am.

To Carl from Santa.

Now that's cute.

Oh.

A Commander Crash Dive space helmet.

Wow. That thing is a collector's item.

I didn't give you that sugar.

Harriet, don't look at me.

Why ain't you?

It definitely wasn't me. I wouldn't spend that much on you.

Who was that from?

It must be from Santa.

Thanks, Ben.

Come on, everybody. I'm gonna fix a Christmas breakfast you'll never forget.

right. Breakfast for nine coming right up. Come on.

You know, it's Christmas Day for dogs, too.

From all of us here

at Family Matters to all of you out there, happy holidays!

And remember, fireworks can be dangerous.

We wish you a Merry Christmas.

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Tonight at 6, an

artist is commissioned to make Mardi Gras masks, but accused of shoddy

workmanship on an all -new Judge Judy. Then at 7, a woman says her grandson's

father won't pay for the lawyers she hired when he was arrested for stealing

on an all -new Judge Joe Brown.

Now stay tuned for Family Matters coming up next on UPN 27.

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas.

We wish you a Merry Christmas.