Original subtitles

I don't know.

Oh, my, we're out of gas.

I'm such a mimmy.

Hey, wait.

Isn't this Paradise Bluff?

I suppose it is.

Well, this is the bluff.

Now let me show you why they call it...

paradise.

Look at all the pretty flowers.

I don't believe this.

I worked my cute little buns off to save enough money to buy my own car so we

could have a romantic evening together. And what's my reward?

You whisper another woman's name.

I'm sorry, Aunt.

Myra.

Look, Stephen.

We've been driving down the highway of love now for quite a while.

And what a dandy drive it's been.

Yes, but we're still stuck in first gear.

So? So it's time that we shifted into second. I'm not satisfied with this

relationship. But I already told you I'm willing to date you while I'm in love

with Laura.

Eat that. What more do you want, woman?

I want an emotional commitment.

I want to wear your science club pin.

But real but.

That would mean we're going steady.

Yes, it would.

I want to know where we're going with this, Stephen.

I want to go steady, and I want an answer soon.

Well, okay, good.

I'll go home and think about it.

Well, while you're thinking about it, remember this.

It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Cause all I see is a tower of dreams, real lovers in every scene.

You know, we gotta hurry up. You know, yearly sales only come once a year.

Boy, you're sharp.

You got our ammunition?

I'd never leave home without it.

We're armed and dangerous.

Hey!

Wait, wait, wait a sec.

There's some barbecue recipes in this magazine I want Carl to read.

Oh, good. Dad needs all the help he can get.

Burgers and weenies. Weenies and burgers. Let's face it.

The man's in a rut.

Well, maybe this will give him some new ideas.

There's a love test in here, too.

You filled it out?

No. I got that magazine for Mildred at the beauty shop.

Wow, Mildred's husband scored a ten.

Good for him.

Not really. They're scoring on one to a hundred.

Hey, guys. Where are you two off to? Shopping.

Again? You just went last spring.

Oh, Carl, I turned down a page on an article I want you to read. Okay, I'll

a look at it. Bye.

Bye -bye.

Hey, rate your mate.

Is your partner a good lover?

Hey, Harriet filled out a quiz about our love life.

Well, I think I'll take a little look -see.

If your husband's sex drive were a mode of transportation, it would be A, a

Ferrari, B,

a moped, C, a skateboard.

A skateboard.

Hey.

She marks C.

See me coming?

No, but I wouldn't mind seeing you leaving.

Hey, baby.

You're all dressing up.

I don't remember us having a date. We don't. I'm going out with Scott Baker.

Boy, it's a topsy -turvy world.

I'm going out with Myra, and I'm in love with you.

in love with you.

Semantics.

Is there some reason you came over?

Well, how can I put this delicately?

Myra can't get enough of that sweet Urkel stuff.

Oh.

Well, she's giving me an ultimatum. Either we go steady or she's packing up

lemonade stand and moving on.

Well, Steve, you and Myra have been seeing each other for over a year now,

right?

think that's a fair request.

Oh, I know, I know, but I just don't know.

Well, what don't you know?

Well, what if I go steady with Myra?

I mean, you fall in love with me the next day.

Well, there's no way that's ever going to happen.

I just covered my booty.

Look, Steve, you know what your life has been like with Myra?

Now, can you picture it without her?

Hmm.

I don't have to chew on that.

Can you chew on that at home?

Fair idea.

thought to what we talked about. You know, us going steady.

Well, yes.

In fact, I'm so confused, I asked Laura for advice.

Laura, what did this she -devil say?

Well, that she -devil is on your side.

I've always liked Laura.

Actually, Myra, Laura has something very interesting to say.

picture my life without you.

Well, can you?

No.

Oh, goody, it's not so bad.

I also don't know if I can picture my life without Laura.

That tramp.

I'm sorry, Myra, but I'm gonna need more time.

I see.

Well, then take me home.

Oh, but lizard lips.

I paid the extra four bucks for that center roof.

You go first.

No, no.

You go first.

Your brain is a national treasure.

No, no, no.

It's always ladies first.

Wait, wait, wait.

I'll shift my weight.

and shining suspenders.

Myra, when I was in that car, my life flashed before me.

It was short and in black and white.

Was I in it?

Yes.

But so was Lara.

I saw her rejecting me over and over again.

And I realized something.

I can spend my whole life chasing a dream.

Or I can let a dream catch me.

Are you saying what I hope you're saying?

Yes.

Myra, would you do me the honor of wearing my science club pin?

Call the Winslow.

You got a second?

I have that, and hopefully some more.

Now, you know Carl better than anybody, and he doesn't take criticism too well.

I need a diplomatic way of telling him that his barbecuer needs help.

Well, you got to talk to him, because his burgers are whack.

You want to talk to him for me? Uh -uh.

You married him. He's your baby now.

What's the matter, sugar? Did you miss the ice cream truck again?

Mom.

Harriet took a Rachel May test in that independent woman's magazine. I took the

same test.

Fletcher got a 98.

What did you get?

Numbers aren't important, mother.

Mom, I think that Harriet is disappointed in me.

Then you've got to talk to her.

Don't keep it bottled up.

That's the worst thing you can do, love.

Thank you, Mom. Love you.

Hello,

Harriet.

Hi, Carl.

Harriet, I think that we need to talk.

Yeah, I want to talk to you about something, too.

Okay, but I'll start.

Sweetheart, I read your magazine article.

And if you had a problem, why didn't you just come to me?

Oh, Carl, I'm sorry.

I was just trying to be helpful.

I thought it might be fun to try something a little different.

Oh, so you're saying that I'm boring.

Not you, just your technique.

Harriet.

Well, what's the big deal? I talked it over with Laura and she agrees.

You talked it over with Laura?

Sure, she's part of the family.

I was just about to do that.

once a week is pretty darn good considering my back problem.

And besides, you could help, you know.

Well, I would, but you always want to be in control.

I thought maybe if we got the act together, we could invite the neighbors

Because Marge gave Ted the article and he's cooking up a storm. You should

his burgers.

What's that supposed to mean?

What I said. You should taste his burgers when he barbecues.

Barbecue?

We're talking about barbecue here?

Yeah. What did you think we were talking about?

I thought that we were talking about this.

Rachel, me?

I didn't fill this out. My hairdresser did. I borrowed this from the beauty

shop. I wanted you to look at this article on barbecue recipes.

I would tell Laura.

your score would have shot off the charts.

Really?

Yeah.

Thanks, Harriet.

A man likes to hear that every now and then.