Original subtitles

Man, I still can't believe I'm going to the culinary cook -off in Skokie.

I guess dreams do come true.

Waldo, if you cook this dish, you is shoo -in for first place.

Wow. Me, Waldo Geraldo Faldo. A little nobody from nowhere winning a golden

spatula. It can happen.

You're a great cook, Waldo.

Well, you know about these competitions.

It all depends on how I look in a bathing suit.

Thank you.

You all packed?

Yep, ready to go.

Dude!

Good luck in Skunky, Waldo. Break an egg.

Thanks.

Have a good trip, Waldo.

Yeah. While I'm gone, no soaking your socks in my crock pot.

Hey, Steve, thanks for picking up my dry cleaning.

Ah, no biggie. I would have been here sooner, but I got... caught in traffic

when I returned your video.

Oh, thanks, buddy.

By the way, you forgot to rewind again.

They yelled at me.

Oh, I'm sorry, Steve.

You know, you're a great friend.

Gee, thanks, Al.

Maxing and relaxing, styling and profiling.

I'm Harry.

Steve Urkel here.

I'm not in college yet, but when I get there, I hope my voice drops enough.

That's the least of your problems.

Well,

so, Winslow.

Oh, thanks for lending me your car.

My Porsche is finally out of the shop.

Hey, any time.

Now I can tell everybody I lent my car to a member of Beta Chi. The president

Beta... Betakai?

Listen,

Winslow, we're recruiting some new frat members this semester.

Yes, I'd love to. Thank you. Not so fast. The other members of Betakai have

meet you.

I would invite you to the frat house for one of our parties, but we're under a

30 -day probation.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard about that. In hindsight, I believe that

inviting the dean's wife was a boo -boo.

Well, listen, if you got... If you guys want to party, you can use my place.

Really?

Let's see.

Well, okay then. It's on. Saturday night, 8 o 'clock.

We'll bring everything.

Including the girls.

That sounds great.

Hey, I'll pop for a case of soda.

Good news on the newspaper page. And love and tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams. Real love bursting out of every scene.

Miss out.

Hello, hello.

Yes, I'd like to order the helmet that roasts and dispenses peanuts.

Yes, yes. Oh, yes, it is a classic.

Yes. The name is Carl Otis Winslow.

That's right.

Yes,

the initials spell cow.

Yes, just charge it to my account.

Hey, don't I get a free bag of peanuts with that order?

Okay, just checking. Uh -huh.

TV shop -a -thon.

Junk?

Junk?

You call hot roasted peanuts fresh out of a football helmet junk?

Yes, I do. I bet that thing will break in less than a month.

Harriet, it has a 30 -day money -back guarantee. If it breaks, I'll just send

back. In the meantime, I get to use it for free.

Oops, my cookies are ready.

Cookies? Hey, maybe I should order the matching Chicago Bears helmet cookie

watch some cartoons.

Okay.

Wait. Look at that.

Item number 124. A child's 10 -speed mountain bike.

Purple and black with electric horn and water bottle.

Man,

that bike is fat.

Ready for 30 days.

have asked me to join, but I'm kind of leaning toward this one.

Oh!

Can I get you a soda?

Sure, baby.

Thanks. All right, now, don't you be going too long.

No, I'm going to go get that soda.

Man,

I'm going to like being a member of this fraternity. Hey, it's got its

advantages. images from...

Tumbler Party's been out of style years ago.

Wow.

Well, a super cool dude like me could bring him back single -handedly.

Excuse me, Al, but I got a single to mingle.

of you lovelies like to trick the light fantastic?

Tango, Mamaw, Wubbadoo?

Huh? Good.

I'm probably too much man for her.

to eat to mix with mango and papayas.

Take it easy, baby.

Your supper is over.

Wait a minute.

I'm the one that got the soda.

Yeah, baby, but you see, you get the next two dances.

the harsh prince nerd maybe but listen up hanging with a guy like that can

damage our rep what are you saying love simple either he leaves or we leave

right now or maybe being a member of banger kai isn't that important to you

bit too much.

Look, some of the Pratt brothers don't think you fit in.

They want you to leave.

But this is your pad, Edo.

Ergo, your party.

And I know you, Edo. You will never yield to brute pressure.

Right?

Look, I'm sorry, Steve, but I want you to leave, too.

I see.

I'm embarrassing you, Pieda.

Don't worry.

I won't embarrass you anymore, you know.

I'll leave and I will never come back.

since you moved out.

You guys are just jealous because you don't have my healthy appetite.

I guess you had a healthy appetite the time you ate a cookie magnet.

That's okay, son. You're still a member of this family and everything we have is

yours with one exception.

I could use some extra cash. That's the exception.

Well, how's the big man on campus?

For your information,

I've been asked to pledge Beta Chi.

Isn't Beta Chi that really cool fraternity with all the good -looking

Yep.

I wonder what they want with you.

You better watch it, or else I won't introduce you to any of them when you

to college.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm really glad for you, Eddie, you know, getting into such a

cool fraternity.

Thanks, Laura.

And all it cost you was your best friend.

Steve told you, huh?

He didn't have to.

I could hear him sobbing from his sensory deprivation tank.

Look, Laura, I can't help what happened.

Steve is still in high school.

I'm in college now. I'm into a whole new social thing.

Steve wanted to tag along and I had to cut the cord.

Look, Eddie, I know Steve is irritating, but he has feelings just like anybody

else.

He's been a good friend to all of us.

Especially you, Eddie.

But Laura... He idolizes you.

Like, you remember the time you broke your tennis racket then you gave it to

Steve? Yeah.

He bronzed that broken tennis racket, Eddie. And he keeps it in his family's

safe deposit box.

Wow. He acted like you had given him gold.

has everything you've ever given him do you really want to write him off as a

friend the one person in this whole world that thinks that much of you

oh

carl thank you So much for picking me up. I tell you, I could not have made it

another day.

What the?

Who? Who the?

Where? Where?

Huh?

Who goes there?

We go there.

And you?

Come here.

Where did all of this stuff come from?

The TV shop or something.

How did you pay for it? We didn't have to pay for it. We put it on Uncle Carl's

account.

Little G.

I think I hear your mother calling you.

I don't hear anything.

Listen again.

Honey, what you did was wrong.

Yeah, I'm going to have to pay for all of this stuff.

No, you're not.

I'm not?

Uh -uh. We'll just do the same thing you're doing with the peanut helmet.

What's Uncle Carl doing with the peanut helmet?

Well, he's going to use it for 30 days, then send it back.

That's what we're going to do with these toys.

Look, you're old enough to learn an important lesson here. Now, just because

your Uncle Carl goes out and does something doesn't mean that you have to

bonehead, too.

Richie, I was going to return the helmet only if it broke.

I can break this stuff.

That's not the point.

It's wrong to try to get something for free.

That's right, Richie. And I hope you learned your lesson, young man.

I did.

Hey, I learned a lesson, too.

What?

I learned to be very careful what I say when I'm around you.

Winslow, am I disturbing you?

I was just studying.

Come on in.

You want some popcorn?

Oh, no, thanks. I can't stay long. I just wanted to drop off this.

We voted last night. Congratulations.

You're in. Oh, great.

Great.

It's really great.

You don't sound like it's great.

Oh, no, I'm happy.

It's just that I've been feeling kind of bad about what happened at the party.

So Jackson threw up on one of your neighbors. We were just having fun.

No, man.

I've been feeling bad about Steve Urkel. The nerd? Who cares about him?

I care about him.

Steve Urkel's been my friend for a lot of years.

Hey, Earth to Eddie, he's a loser, a social leper, a geekmeister.

Look, Steve has always been there for me.

Through happy times, bad times, he's been there.

Steve Urkel is loyal.

And when I really think about it, he's one of the best friends I've ever had in

my whole life.

It's very touching.

But Steve Urkel is the exact opposite of everything Beta Chi stands for. Now you

can either hang with us or nerds like Steve take your pick.

That's an easy decision, Lyle. I thought so.

I'll hang with Steve.

You regret this, Winslow.

Just my beta capital.

Well, if it isn't Toga Boy.

Now, is that your face or did your neck throw up?

Steve, how long you been out here?