Original subtitles

It's the Gospel of Music with Jeff.

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page and love and predictions of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

It's all I see is a tower of dreams.

Real lovers in every scene.

It's the bigger love of the family.

Hey, Waldo. What's up? Who do you think is the toughest wrestler?

You mean other than my mom?

Hurricane Al.

He's not that tough.

Oh, yeah?

He got shot once and didn't know it for two days.

That's not tough. That's stupid.

Hey, don't tell me about stupid.

I know stupid.

I've made stupid an art form.

Hey, guys.

Want to watch some, too?

Sure.

Thanks.

Should have bought one for yourself.

Hey.

I know that guy.

Who? That's Lyle Hopkins.

You know one of the Psycho Twins?

The Psycho Twins? Who are the Psycho Twins?

Just the top tag team wrestlers in the whole world, that's all.

Well, Lyle and I went to high school together.

Get out of here.

Hey, don't tell your father to get out.

For goodness sake, show some respect.

You can stay, Mr. Winslow.

Lyle and I were on the wrestling team.

We used to practice together.

Hey, Dad, the Psycho Twins are defending their title or not on WrestleRama.

You should go on down to the studio and pay your old buddy a visit.

Maybe I should.

Then you should take your beloved son with you.

Ooh, can I come too? Please?

For me, it would be like meeting the Pope, only more religious.

You can come, Waldo. Yeah.

Hey.

Do it.

Oh,

big guy, don't stand

behind the door. You could get hurt.

Goodbye, Steve.

No.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

It's nose juice, my herbal, all -natural cure for insomnia.

Good for you, Urkel. Ever since Russia broke up, there's been lots of fighting

and insomnia.

that something you want to tell your Aunt Harriet?

Uh, yeah.

Nice blouse.

Richie.

Uh, what's going on here?

I told a lie to my teacher.

Oh, Richie, you know better than that.

Well, it was just a little lie.

Little? You told Mrs.

Grossbacher that you didn't have your homework because it blew out of an open

window. Is that going to happen?

But then he told her an eagle picked it up and flew to Germany with it.

You should have quit while you were ahead.

Professional wrestling ring.

Mom never made it to the big time.

Hey, Lyle.

Come on, let's go.

Girl,

I haven't seen you since high school.

How you doing, man? I'm doing fine, man. You're doing terrific.

I always knew you'd make it big. Well, I was always big. I just had to make it.

Remember that time we took those two girls in a... Uh, uh, uh, uh, lie, lie,

lie, lie.

This is my son, Edward.

Hey, yo, I wish I could hear the rest of that story. I wish I could remember it.

Oh, and these are his friends, Steve and Waldo. Hey, guys.

Sorry.

It didn't hurt.

Wow, a psycho twin pressed my flesh.

Sir, would you do me the honor of autographing my boxer shorts?

Or if you're too busy now, I can leave them with you and you can mail them back

to me.

I got a better idea.

Why don't you guys come back tonight and I'll give you front row seats to our

championship match.

Thank you, sir. Be right back. Where you going?

To the bathroom. I gave myself a wedgie.

You haven't changed. You are still a great guy.

We'll see you tonight.

All right, Carl.

Hey, guys.

Let's kill some time by grabbing some dinner, huh?

Some kind of juice tastes good.

That's what was in here?

What? The psycho twins guzzled this down, and now they're in the locker room

sleeping like babies.

The big one's sucking his thumb.

Uh -oh.

Those sucking cocks was an overbite. Just ask my Uncle Bieber face.

Just how much did they drink?

The whole bottle.

Oh, my.

Why, my snooze juice was highly concentrated.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I can't wait to psych those out. How long are they going to be out?

It's 7 .20, so they should be sleeping until Thursday.

We're on the air in ten minutes.

Whoa, that's way before Thursday.

Look, if I don't deliver the psycho twins, I'll get sued. And if I get sued,

guys get sued.

I'm going to call my lawyer.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Take it easy here

now. Look, I know that this is an unfortunate accident, and we'd love to

you out here, but let's be reasonable.

What could we possibly do?

Fishwhackers look a little line on the bush and heavy on the whackers.

The second one of those glandular mutants touches me, I'm taking a dive.

Steve, you don't have to. Lou spoke to the guys.

He filled them in. They know we're not real wrestlers. They're going to make us

look great.

Well, do you mean to tell me I get to pummel big guys and they won't pummel me

back? That's right.

Wow. I can't believe this. My father's actually gonna fight a professional

wrestler. Yeah.

Hey, after the match, you think I could ride with him in the ambulance?

Listen up!

Only one wrestler from each team is allowed in the ring at one time.

Now, you're not allowed to come in the ring unless you tag your partner first.

You got it?

Yeah!

Those psycho imps will be ground check when the Bushwhackers get their mojo

working.

Richie, why aren't you doing your homework?

Oh, I'm watching Uncle Carl and Uncle Steve wrestle in the Bushwhackers.

Richie, they went to the wrestling match. They're not in the wrestling

Sure they are. They're the psycho twins and they're kicking butt.

All right, that does it. I've warned you about lying. Now I'm going to have to

have a serious talk with...

That's right.

But I sure wish you were.

Wow. You must be so proud of your father, then.

Fudge! Break loose!

Kill him!

Remove his bloody face off!

Hey, mate.

Don't you smudge off his feet.

You ain't doing too bloody bad.

Oh, well, thank you, Mr. Bushwacker.

Call me Luke, mate. And what do you folks do for a job?

Oh, well, actually, I'm a student. But my compadre here, well, he's a cop. A

what?

A cop, a fuzz, a flatfoot, a bobby, a chandong.

My brother and me, we hate cops.

Oh, well, how come?

My mother was arrested by a cop.

last night.

All right.

They couldn't catch her to them.

Your dad makes it look so real.

Yo, we got some back.

Steve, everything was going just fine until you blabbed that I was a cop.

Well, Carl, this whole ugly debacle would have never happened had you not

dragged me down to that palace of pain.

Steve, ooh, ow.

The real psycho twins would have still been in the ring wrestling if it wasn't

for your stupid sleepy juice.

Stop!

No juice!

Don't tell me. He wants to sue me for all the damages caused by the riot.

Nope. It seems that you and Steve were a big hit. He wants you back in the ring

again tomorrow night.

What?

No way.

He wants you to wrestle the nurses. I'll be there.