Original subtitles

It's made up of two equal components with a revolution period of 180 years.

angle of separation is...

You're dreaming

of Steve Urkel.

You yearn to be held by his strong, manly arm.

Your lips burn for his kiss.

it was earlier in this century because the two stars are looking closer to the

same line of sight.

What?

I am so tired.

Well, wait where you always are, baby breath.

Like just yesterday, you fell asleep in clanks.

That can happen.

Not while you're writing on the blackboard.

Now look, something's cooking good looking. Spill it.

Mind your own business, Steve. Now go ahead. Double stars.

such as gamma arietis have the same spectral type for both components, but

others are distinguished by their beautifully contrasting colors.

It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say it's even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams.

Laura, why are you so tired?

Oh, I guess I'm not getting enough sleep at school.

What?

I'm just kidding, Mom. I gotta go study.

See ya.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute.

Where you going?

Over to Waldo's.

But don't you remember?

Tonight is the night we agreed to work on our stamp collection.

I can't, Dad.

Walter's mom had plastic surgery, and I'm invited to her welcome home party.

Oh, what did she have done?

A fanny lift.

Everyone's hoping it'll stay above her knees this time.

congratulate me and my man Waldo. We are now styling on EV3.

What do you mean?

Tell him, Waldo. No, sir.

Why not?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

The betting.

Oh, cool.

We're betting.

Betting?

How much did you guys win?

Well, this is our second week, and we're already up 380 big ones.

All right. How much is my hand?

50 bucks. Yeah.

$380 is serious money.

Yeah, Frankie the Fish has his beginner's luck, but I keep telling him

system. You know, I kind of wish now that I'd gone in with you guys.

Hey, it's not too late. The season is young.

Now, aren't you aware that sports gambling is illegal in these United

except for Nevada and certain specified municipalities, including Atlantic City

and Indian Reservation, which aren't subject to federal law?

Hey, look, Urkel, you can't call what we're doing gambling.

Dabbling implies a risk.

With my system, there is no risk.

Oh, and what's your system? Do you compare team monsters, compute previous

histories, factor in player injuries, weather conditions, and home team

advantage?

No, we bet on a team whose city has the ugliest women.

Wouldn't you be a lot meaner if you came from a city full of ugly women?

I was right. I hate myself.

Yo, guys, I'm tempted, but I'm broke.

I mean, I don't have any money to bet.

Ah, that's the beauty part. You bet by phone.

Place the bet and pick up the cash.

Yeah, but what if I lose?

It ain't gonna happen.

But in the unlikely event that it does, I'll cover your behind.

Like we were forced to do with my mom.

Addo.

Now, look.

You're letting greed cloud your better judgment.

Now, it pains me to say this, but if you join these hooligans in their nefarious

endeavor, you can kiss our friendship goodbye.

In the Atlanta -Houston game, it was Atlanta 28, Houston 17.

I told you so.

And in San Francisco, the 49ers blasted the Los Angeles Rams 21 to zip.

I told you so.

And finally, a big surprise in Miami, as the Dolphins outscored the Jets 31 to

14. Until the fourth...

when the Jets scored three touchdowns to win the game.

Far be it from me to say I told you so, but I told you so.

Steve, I just lost a whole lot of money. The last thing I need is nagging from

the nerd next door.

Nerd? Well, this conversation is finished.

I'll be in the kitchen sipping a soda until you decide to apologize.

Your betting system bites.

We bet on 12 games and lost 10 of them.

May I remind you that we also won two games, Mr. Glasses Half Empty?

Hey, I want an Indian name, too.

I don't believe this. We each lost 250 bucks in a single afternoon.

Weasel. Huh?

I'm gonna have to take you up on that offer, man.

What offer?

You know, you told me if I lost, you'd cover me.

Well, I lost.

Hey, look, man, all right, I did say that, but, um, unfortunately,

have conspired to alter my current financial portfolio.

In other words? You're on your own.

the fish?

Yes, indeedy. I took pity on your plight and pulled your fannies out of the

fire.

Huh. Well, I simply explained to him that although your bets were made in

faith, there was no way in H -E double hockey sticks you'll ever pay a single

cent.

Steve, if you tell a guy like Frankie the fish you're not gonna pay, you end

living with fish.

Don't be such a nervous Nellie.

It was a... Targeting ploy.

Well, once Frankie calmed down, I suggested that we work out some sort of

payment plan.

Well, he just jumped at that suggestion and immediately beat his field

representative, who incidentally might drop by the house.

Move and you die.

I may have made a boo -boo.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Steve Urkel, and you are... Bones.

Ah, Bones.

As in the doctor on Star Trek?

No. Bones as in I break them. Oh, oh, oh!

Hello.

Here.

Thank you. You two can leave.

Uh, look, we're all... We're all in this together. Right, guys?

Uh,

sir, I'd love to pay you, but I honestly don't have the money right now.

Kid, I'd love to let you off the hook, but I honestly have to peel you like a

grape right now. Now,

this is my friend, and if you intend to harm him, you're gonna...

You have a point.

Now, I propose an easy payback plan. Give my friend time to arrange

Say, six months?

24 hours.

Works for me. Bless you bones.

Well, I'll be back tomorrow.

And if you don't have the cash, we're gonna hold a scavenger hunt for your

parts.

I can't come up with 250 bucks by tomorrow.

Steve, can't you help me out?

No, I can't, Eddo.

I just spent all my money on a muscle -building kit.

And I'm still trying to get the box open.

Man, what am I gonna do?

Well, why don't you just go to your father?

That's up, Eddo. And take your punishment like a man.

Nah.

Besides, my dad is all... You're already upset with me for not helping them out

with our stamp collection.

Uh -oh.

I smell a bad idea.

You see this stamp?

It's a 1923 Head of Freedom statue stamp.

It's worth about $300.

See what?

Look, I could sell this stamp, pay off Bones...

Work some overtime at Mighty Weenie, buy the stamp back, and put it back without

anyone ever knowing.

But you'll know, Edo, and it'll haunt you for the rest of your life.

Yeah, but at least I'll have a life.

What a nice brisk walk would help.

Laura, I've been waiting here for three and a half hours.

A long brisk walk?

I've been word sick about you.

I didn't know where you were, what you were doing, or if you were okay.

I can explain.

Well, then let's hear it.

Where were you?

Starlight Coffee Shop.

I'm a waitress there.

I work the midnight to 4 a .m. shift.

Laura, you already have an after -school job.

Why on earth would you take a second job?

Oh, well, Mom's saving up to buy a car. I can get it a lot faster if I work two

jobs. Well, when do you sleep?

Oh, I don't. I don't need sleep.

I just carried this water spritzer.

is a daisy.

Laura, you're not a fern.

You need sleep.

You're spreading yourself too thin and it's very unhealthy.

I just wanted to earn the money on my own.

You guys are giving me so much already.

I just wanted to show you I could be responsible by buying my own car.

Laura, you're the most responsible teenager I know.

But sneaking out of the house at all times of night is not responsible.

You're going to quit that job.

Okay.

I want to talk to your father.

We're going to help you with that car.

But you don't have to.

That's right.

We don't have to.

We want to.

Because we love you.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, son.

Uh... What are you doing?

Oh, I thought I'd take a look at the old stamp collection.

You know, the one that you don't have time for anymore.

Oh. Well, I have some time now.

Wow. What a collection.

Dad, do you want to go shoot some hoops?

Dad, there's something I have to tell you.

Oh, really?

What is it?

Well, it's about our head of freedom statue stamp.

Oh, yes.

There she is.

She is?

She is.

So, what did you want to tell me, son?

Oh,

uh, just that... that I love you.

I love you, Dad.

Night.

Edward?

Yes?

You know, I thought that you were gonna tell me that you sold our Head of

Freedom statue stamp to the Stamp Emporium for $300.

No.

I just think that I love you.

I hope that you keep it in mind.

Come over here, Edward, and sit down.

Talk to me, son.

Let me hear the words.

Well,

me and the guys bet on some football games.

Mm -hmm.

And then I lost 250 bucks to a bookie named Frankie the Fish.

I see.

And then I sold our stamp so I wouldn't get beat up by a really big guy named

Bones.

Edward, why didn't you just come to me?

Well, because I was afraid you'd yell at me, Dad. What do you mean, like this?

Yes, sir.

Exactly like that, sir.

My head hurts.

Son, you've made some mistakes with gambling before.

I thought that you had learned your lesson.

Well, I thought so too, Dad.

But we still had a surefire betting system. Oh, really?

What was it?

We bet on the teams whose cities have the ugliest women.

My head hurts again.

Edward, son, when you make a mistake, You fess up to it.

If you try to cover it up, it's only going to make it worse.

Yes, sir.

Now, if you had come to me right away, you might have only been grounded for a

week or so.

But now, you'll be lucky if you make Little Richie's wedding.

Ouch.

Well, Dad, just tell me how you found out about the stamp.

Al, from the stamp emporium called.

I had asked him to let me know if another Head of Freedom statue stamp

became available.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I bought back my own stamp.

Look.

I'm going to pay you back, Dad.

Every cent.

Oh, you bet you will.

I don't bet any more.

Come here.

Hello there.

I see.

Last chance, Edo. You sure you don't want to come down to the poker hall with

us? Us?

You actually talk somebody else into going with you?

Come on, Steve.

We don't want to be late.

Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Warner

Brothers Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television

Distribution.