Original subtitles

Tell what you're thinking.

You're thinking, Steve, why do you have a stool glued to your gluteus?

No.

I was thinking, Carl, why not just sell the house and move away?

Okay,

Steve, I'll bite.

Why are you stuck to a stool?

Correction, my friend.

The stool is stuck to me.

Thanks to my latest invention.

It's a revolutionary super glue.

Wacky tacky.

Patent pending.

Uh, you accidentally glued yourself to a stool?

Oh, please.

What do you mean, a ball? I would... Yeah.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Urkel.

Just a minute.

Steve, it's your mom.

It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams.

Crazy world we live in, isn't it?

Crime, war, poverty.

Edward, that's the sports page.

Oh.

Listen, Dad, I'm becoming an adult now, and... No, you can't have a car.

Well, why not?

you know this was about a car the problem is you're going to college next

and i can't afford to buy you a car and pay for school oh well that's cool dad

i've got the perfect solution really i've decided to sacrifice college and go

for the car

What's the matter, Carl?

Harry, is there anything that you're willing to sell?

You know, like an old table, some knickknacks, a kidney?

Eddie told me he'd hit you up for a car.

He's bummed out, but he understands.

You know, Harriet, when Edward was born, I held him in my

arms and...

I promised myself that I would give him everything that he ever needed.

And you have, Carl. He has all the essentials.

Food, shelter, Nintendo.

But most important of all, he has lots of love.

But, Harriet, the boy wants a car.

Now, I can relate to that. I mean, a car to a teenage boy means independence,

freedom, sex appeal.

I don't know, car. You were pretty sexy on your moped.

Well, that's true.

But, sweetheart, I feel like I'm letting him down.

I can't buy Edward a new car. I can't even afford to buy him a decent used

What about buying him an old beat -up car?

What do you mean, a clunker?

Yeah. And you and Eddie can work on it together.

Well, I don't know.

Oh, it would be a great way for us to spend time together. You know, father

son side by side, up to our elbows in Greece, working and sweating till we

like hogs.

I'll let him walk.

Thanks, honey.

Hey.

How did a guy like me ever end up with a genius like you?

I don't know.

I guess I wasn't paying attention.

Why, Wacky Tacky will bond anything.

Plastic, wood, stone, you name it.

Well, what would happen if I spread some on your lips?

Well, my mouth would be shut forever.

That's sick.

Why are my little gummy bears?

Why don't you and I take in a flick?

Pucker up, Steve.

Now give me the clue. Oh.

Listen, Miss Life is Short and You Ain't Gettin' Any Younger.

If you think that you're just gonna open this door one day and find the man of

your dreams, well, you're plum crazy.

Would you like to buy some candy? Why, yes.

Yes, I'll pay. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, but the lady has all the

items she needs.

Now be gone, scamp.

Who are you?

Steve Urkel. I'm her man.

He's not my man. He's my albatross.

She's very confused, and sugar will only make it worse. Now... Oh, God!

Won't you come in?

I'm Laura Winslow.

Ted Curran.

Laura, you are beautiful.

Is that my heart pounding or am I still knocking on the door?

Oh, please.

Maybe it's my heart pounding.

Listen, I know we just met, but would you like to go out sometime?

No, she's not interested.

How's tonight? We'll catch a flick.

She doesn't like flicks. I just asked her.

Sounds great.

Great. Well, listen, now that we're friends, I can't sell you candy.

You can't?

No, but I can give you some.

No,

but I can give you some.

See you tonight.

Seven o 'clock.

Be there.

got cheated but you don't know how much i paid for did you give him money yeah

you got cheated okay i admit that she's not much to look at now

but we're gonna fix her up you and me together yes sir there is nothing more

reliable than a police cruiser

Yeah, but that's the beauty of it.

I don't either.

I bought some books and manuals. Now we'll read them and use that knowledge

restore this baby to showroom condition.

But, Dad... Son, use your imagination.

Dad, I... Picture this.

A big, powerful machine.

Bright metallic paint glistens in the sun. A big...

whole racing stripe rips up one side and down the other. You're almost blinded

by sparkling alloy rims, but you can't take your eyes off of her because she's

beauty like no other car that you've ever seen.

Wow.

What's that sound I hear? What's that sound?

What's that sound I hear?

Sounds like babes.

A 455 cubic inches of raw V8 power.

Four barrel cars.

Twin chrome exhaust.

Man, this ride is hype.

Yo,

dad, I'm sold.

Sweetheart, you are going to be the hottest car.

Steve, Ted's going to be here any minute. Could you sort of hurry?

Wow.

I certainly hope you recognize the irony in this situation.

What irony?

Well, here I am, gluing together... the broken pieces of your shattered earring

so you can go out with another man.

But who will glue together the shattered pieces of my broken heart?

Oh, Steve.

Feeling guilty?

believe it's an idea.

Uncle, right?

Yeah, that's what it says on my underpants.

Won't you sit down?

Laura,

I

thought we had a date tonight.

Okay, here it is.

Steve invented a super glue named Wacky Tacky, and then he glued himself to it.

What?

Wait a minute, wait a minute. What do I look like, an idiot?

Well... That doesn't... I'm out of here.

Ted, wait.

I'm telling the truth.

Steve, say something.

I love you, schnuckums.

Working together, man, I get emotional just thinking about it.

I'm all choked up, too.

Yeah.

Waldo.

Where's Edward?

He's putting air in the tire.

I blew up the first three, but then I got real dizzy and threw up in a hubcap.

Oh, no, Dad, I called him over. I thought it'd be kind of fun to work on

with him.

Oh, I see.

Well, I kind of thought that we'd work on it together.

Oh, well, I mean, um, we could do that sometime, if you really want.

Oh, well, yeah, you know, sure, whenever, whatever.

father wanted to get you a car more than anything.

Now, maybe he couldn't afford to spend much money, but he was willing to give

you all the time in the world.

I know, Mom, but Waldo's my buddy and we're having fun.

Oh, I understand.

You hardly ever get a chance to spend time with Waldo.

You're always so busy with your father.

Oh, Mom.

Eddie, your father didn't sleep a wink last night, and neither did I, because

kept going on and on about how much he was looking forward to working with you

on this car.

I didn't know that.

Eddie, you're going to have a lot of friends in your life, but you've only

one father.

And you know you're very lucky to have one who wants to spend time with you.

Hey, Dad?

Yeah, son?

Never thought I'd say this, but we're done.

Yep, we did it.

I love her, Dad.

She's incredible.

Yes, sir.

This baby is fine.

I know this was expensive, Dad.

Oh, yes, it was.

But you know what, Dad?

I wouldn't have missed any of this for the world.

Neither would I, son.

Why don't you climb in, take off, and go impress some ladies?

Well, ladies can wait. I gotta go pick up my best friend.

I've been dead.