Original subtitles

Mary's pumpkin contest. And this year, our esteemed judges are Carl Winslow

and Steve Urkel.

Well, I'm proud to be included in this family's charming pagan ceremony.

Okay, let the contest begin.

carved by me and my mom.

And the last pumpkin was carved by me and Eddie.

Well, there's your winner.

It's a rare condition.

This day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page.

And love and tradition of the grand design. Some people say it's even harder

find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams. Real love bursting out of everything.

The bigger love of the family.

Good morning.

Okay, so I'm a little late. Get off my back.

Sorry, it's just that I didn't sleep again last night.

Honey, that's the third night in a row.

Maybe you should call a doctor.

Carl, he'll just say, get some sleep and then charge us a hundred bucks.

It's just that I want you to be ready to rock and roll at the policeman's

Halloween bash tomorrow.

You know how they always look forward to us getting on top of the table and

doing the famous Winslow rumba?

You didn't notice last year, but they pulled their guns on us.

Rachel, you may have to carry the rumba banner this year.

Can't, Carl. I'm taking Ritzy trick -or -treating.

No, you're not. I'm going with Eddie.

What?

Yeah, you promised me a long time ago.

Remember the time I loaned you $2?

Oh, I'm sorry. Richie, I forgot all about that.

Waldo and I are going to Daryl Jackson's Halloween party.

Oh.

Yo,

Richmeister.

Yeah? Be ready by six o 'clock, okay?

Carl. Carl.

Carl! What?

Honey, are you awake?

Well, I am.

You can't sleep, so I can't sleep either, right?

I knew you'd understand.

Steve, is that you?

Well, it ain't the tooth fairy.

Oh, it's official. This is the night from hell.

Hey, big guy. Greetings, mother of the woman I love.

Steve, what are you doing here?

Well, my mother... Motion sensor device was triggered, so I came over to

investigate.

Motion sensor device?

Yeah. It's a little doohickey I cooked up to keep track of my favorite family.

Either way, Carl, there hasn't been much motion in this room lately.

Well, I've been having this back problem, okay?

Every couple of months it goes out on me and... Why am I explaining this to you?

What?

I can't sleep. I need somebody to talk to.

Ah, insomnia.

Harriet, he's getting a chair.

Tell me.

He listens to relaxation tapes.

His favorite is Sounds of the Amazon Rainforest.

Ooh, I bet that is...

buy this tape.

Oh, piss toss. I'll make you a copy and bring it over. Oh, thank you, Steve.

Now, what can I get for you, Carl?

Some oysters.

Spider -Man.

Ready to go?

I was born ready. I'm in candy or dry.

Trick or treat.

What's up, Waldo?

How'd you know it was me?

Lucky guess.

Care to ride up the Nile on my bars?

Hey, Miss Crawford, in this light, you look exactly like Cleopatra.

Winslow, who are you supposed to be? Shirley Temple Black.

Wow, Zorro. Can I have your autograph?

Waldo, it's me, Carl Winslow.

Dude, your dad is Zorro.

Come on, let's go to the party so we can boogie all night.

Richie, you have a great time trick -or -treating, okay?

More trick -or -treaters.

Jump back.

Hi.

Right back at you.

I wonder if you can help me.

No wonder no more, baby.

Eddie Winslow here at your service.

I'm Angela.

I'm glad.

Thank you.

I'm going to a party at the Jackson House, but I can't find it. Oh, you see,

that's because it's a very difficult house to find.

No, it isn't. It's where I got the... Perhaps I should escort you

personally just to make sure you're safe.

Thanks a lot.

See, I'm a friend of a friend, and I won't know anyone at this party.

Of course you will.

You'll know me.

Now, put yourself in part, but keep that motor running.

She's drop -dead gorgeous.

I don't know why you're so impressed.

For God's sakes, man, your father is Zorro.

Change your plans, Waldo. I need you to take Richie trick -or -treating.

Eddie, you promised to take me. I know, Richie, but you'll have just as much fun

if you go with your Uncle Waldo.

The guy thinks your father is Zorro.

I know, Richie, but don't worry. I'll make it up to you. I promise.

Come with me into the night, my little mistress of the dark.

Ready to go, Richie?

I guess.

Steve, wait!

He went to a party.

You mean he ducked out on Richie? Yeah, big time.

just peachy. Wongo, you brought back the Wong can.

Hello, Daryl.

This is Waldo Geraldo Faldo.

Is Eddie Winslow there?

You know, Zorro's kid.

Well, tell him to holler home now.

Waldo, how could you make such a mistake?

I don't know.

I do remember a woman with a small kid dressed like Spider -Man.

There was something different about her.

Might she have been Chinese?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yo,

this better be good. I was just about to sink my teeth in Angela's neck.

Who is this?

Ah, this is Tommy. You see, Waldo... left with Richie, but he came back with

Tommy.

Well, then where's Richie?

That's what we don't know!

Whoa, chill.

Waldo, man, you really messed up this time. This is the dumbest thing you've

ever done.

Hey, you left a small kid with me, and you calling me dumb?

Look, Eddie, we're just wasting time. Richie could be out there all...

Okay, we'll just put the mask back on Tommy, and the first dance we get, we'll

go back out and look for Richie, okay?

Put your mask on, okay? Stand right there, okay?

Give me a break. Come on, Rachel, they wouldn't have killed you to dance just

once with Lieutenant Murtaugh.

Carl, the man came dressed as a sofa.

Richie? Did you have a good time trick -or -treating? Oh, we had a great time

out, Rachel.

Well, let's get you out of this costume. You must be so hot. Oh, no, no, he's

fine, I'm ready. Oh, yeah, fine, fine. Yeah, we just came back to make a pit

stop, and we're on our way back out now.

Oh, but we're out of candy.

No, I think there's been a little mix -up.

Why, whatever do you mean?

Rachel.

And I'm sorry. You're sorry? He's sorry.

Don't hand us that.

But don't you guys think that part of the blame is due to the enormous

popularity of Spider -Man? Oh, I just... Calm down.

He let his hormones overpower his good judgment.

Harriet, that is no excuse.

Young man, you are in for major punishment.

It is so major that it hasn't even been invented yet.

you think of it, it is going to be so awful that the damn Hussein will say,

whoa, Carl, lighten up.

Go ahead, Dad. I got it coming.

Yeah, we're getting in that kitchen and talk to Richie. He's a very hurt little

boy right now.

Yes, ma 'am.

And, Mom, you were right about my hormones overpowering my good judgment.

You see, at my age, I'm...

Kind of heavy on the hormones and light on the good judgment.

Don't hand us that!

Hey,

Ritzmeister.

Can I talk to you a second?

Why don't you get Waldo to do it?

Ouch.

I guess I deserve that, huh?

I'm sorry, man.

I really let you down.

Eddie?

Yeah?

Don't you like me?

Are you kidding?

You're my best bud.

Best buds don't dump you for a girl.

Hey, Rich.

Do you remember last week when we were at the mall and you saw that red bike

through the toy store window?

Yeah, the 10 -speed with the electric horn? Uh -huh. I wanted that baby the

second I saw it.

Well, that's the way I felt when I saw Angela.

Really? When you were... rather have a bike?

Not anymore.

And someday, you won't either.

Wow, that's scary.

You know, I'll tell you what was scary.

When I came home and found out you were gone,

boy, I was real scared.

Really?

Yeah, I mean, I was afraid something terrible might have happened to you.

You were really worried?

Of course, Richie.

I don't just like you.

I love you, little guy.

All right.

Best buds again?

Best buds.

Listen. If we hurry, we can still get in a little trick -or -treating.

You up for it? I sure am.

So does he get much candy with Waldo?

Are you kidding?

He threw eggs at houses and then rang the doorbell.

That tape is relaxing.

Yes.

Remind me to... to thank Steve for making me a copy.

Okay.

Hmm.

Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Lorimar Television

and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television Distribution.