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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:21,490 Oh, I'm missing my pet. 2 00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:26,910 Erica, want to sign my petition? 3 00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:28,290 Oh, sure. What's it for? 4 00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:30,150 To make the school mascot a bulldog. 5 00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:34,270 But, Bulldog, the school only has a mascot. It's a muskrat. 6 00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:35,789 Not anymore. 7 00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:36,990 I forgot to feed it. 8 00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:59,560 Well, lucky, lucky, lucky, if it isn't my cookie. 9 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,940 Steve, what is that smell? 10 00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:12,980 It's my new Swiss cologne. It's called... 11 00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:19,380 What do you want to see? 12 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,140 Well, if you're not busy tomorrow night, why don't you and I read a movie? 13 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:28,480 Well, turn down the lights and engage in a little lip wrestling. 14 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,580 I can't. I'm going out with Ted Curran. 15 00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:36,020 I can't? 16 00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:37,420 But why? 17 00:01:38,740 --> 00:01:42,380 Well, he's good -looking, a varsity athlete, and the most popular guy in 18 00:01:42,940 --> 00:01:45,100 Yeah, but take all that away, and what have you got? 19 00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:07,460 It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper 20 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:13,540 page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say it's even 21 00:02:13,540 --> 00:02:14,940 harder to find. 22 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:21,940 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 23 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:30,100 Because all I see is the tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every 24 00:02:36,179 --> 00:02:38,360 bigger love of the family. 25 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,140 I have a little indigestion. Did you do something different to the pot roast? 26 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,400 Carl, it was meatloaf. 27 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:01,880 Now there you go. That's different. 28 00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:07,130 Where are you headed? 29 00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:10,850 To the mall. Rachel's going to help me pick out an outfit for my date with Ted. 30 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,610 Oh, Lord. 31 00:03:15,490 --> 00:03:16,490 What? 32 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:21,490 Well, Rachel, my daughter is an innocent young lady, and I really don't want her 33 00:03:21,490 --> 00:03:23,150 to dress like you. 34 00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:26,550 Don't worry. 35 00:03:26,830 --> 00:03:28,250 I'll be there to advise. 36 00:03:28,910 --> 00:03:29,910 Oh. 37 00:03:40,109 --> 00:03:41,069 What's that? 38 00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:43,950 Eddie's up to no good. He's done something wrong and he's not telling us. 39 00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:45,310 How do you know? 40 00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:46,470 He's been nice to me. 41 00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:49,930 Well, let's just see what he's up to. 42 00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:54,250 Edward! 43 00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:55,890 Kitchen! Now! 44 00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,830 Try a little good cop, bad cop. 45 00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:00,770 I'll be the bad cop. 46 00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:14,740 What do I do, Mom? 47 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,159 I don't know, honey. 48 00:04:16,459 --> 00:04:19,899 But your dad is in one of his moods. So if I were you, I'd tell the truth. 49 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:21,839 Okay. 50 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:23,880 What's the matter, Dad? 51 00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:25,260 What's the matter? 52 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:26,680 What's the matter? 53 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:32,220 You sit there with your bare face hanging out and have the nerve to ask me 54 00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:33,400 what's the matter? 55 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:35,420 Oh, 56 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:38,480 Carl, take it easy. He's just a kid. 57 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,080 A scared kid. 58 00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:42,060 Candy. 59 00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:46,290 Talk to me. Sing. 60 00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:48,670 Well, I mean, there's nothing to talk about. 61 00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:51,230 Hardly. 62 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,750 Hardly? 63 00:04:53,450 --> 00:04:57,050 Hardly? Well, I mean, there is that tiny little thing that happened at school, 64 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,130 but I mean... Uh -huh. 65 00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:00,770 Mm -hmm. You call what you did tiny? 66 00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:04,170 No, sir. Not really, sir, but I mean, I only played hooky twice. 67 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:05,930 You hear this, Harriet? 68 00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:07,710 Our son played hooky. 69 00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:11,430 Well, Dad, me and a bunch of the guys had a chance to watch practice down at 70 00:05:11,430 --> 00:05:13,840 Soldier Field. Mm -hmm. The Bears? the cheerleaders. 71 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:15,500 Well, 72 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,460 what you did, son, is a very serious offense. 73 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:19,820 And did you take pictures? 74 00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:27,540 Edward, there is no excuse for your behavior. Now go to your room. Your 75 00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:28,700 and I will decide the proper punishment. 76 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,080 Yes, sir. 77 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,960 Will you please tell me how you found out? 78 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,480 Let's just say somebody that you know has a big mouth. 79 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,000 who it is, I'm gonna kill him. 80 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:01,600 Well, hey, Waldo. 81 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,320 What? Well, what are you doing? 82 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,620 I'm sick and dead to all these posters. 83 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:06,920 Look at all this clutter. 84 00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:08,880 Yeah, and here's where they're on site. 85 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,340 Darn tootin'. That's why I'm putting up these. 86 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,160 babies and people who get the point. 87 00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:39,520 Come on, man. Tell us. What happened on your date with Laura? 88 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,460 Nothing. Just had a good time. That's all. Yeah, right. 89 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:54,570 Girl, four times now. You've got to be going back for something. Yo, yo, yo, 90 00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:55,570 come on, guys. Chill. 91 00:06:56,070 --> 00:06:59,310 Alex, I think he's holding out on us. What's up with that? I can only think of 92 00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:00,310 one reason. 93 00:07:00,630 --> 00:07:02,270 He's striking out. Oh, whoa. 94 00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:05,810 I'm the Ted man. I do not strike out. So, in other words, you're saying he 95 00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:06,810 scored, right? 96 00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:08,130 Grow up. 97 00:07:08,730 --> 00:07:09,669 He scored! 98 00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:10,790 I knew he scored! 99 00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:15,410 Take it back. 100 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:16,770 Take what back? 101 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:31,560 Get lost, Urkel. 102 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,220 Yeah, 103 00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:36,620 well, something did happen. 104 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,860 believe this. Oh, then maybe you'll believe this one. 105 00:07:58,480 --> 00:07:59,960 Urkel, how many of those do you have? 106 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,139 I don't know. 107 00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:02,140 Let's see. 108 00:10:07,820 --> 00:10:10,160 bad news, and I'm not sure how to break it to you. 109 00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:11,820 Well, just tell me. 110 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:13,960 All right. 111 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:20,600 Well, Ted told some of his friends that when he went out with you, he had a 112 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:21,600 really good time. 113 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,860 Well, that's nice. I had a really good time, too. 114 00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:27,080 No, no, no. You don't understand. 115 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,920 He said he had a really, really... 116 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000 What? 117 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,599 You're lying. 118 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:52,600 No, ma 'am. 119 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:58,500 Now, Steve, I know your jealousy has made you do some truly annoying things 120 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,240 before, but this is way past annoying. 121 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,460 This is cruel. 122 00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:04,640 Stop it, okay? 123 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,500 Now, Steve, you always tried to be my boyfriend. 124 00:11:28,490 --> 00:11:30,230 Hello? Yes, this is Laura. Who's this? 125 00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:32,770 Jason. 126 00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:34,950 Jason Sanders? 127 00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:54,740 What's wrong? 128 00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:10,360 You listen to me. You are a disgusting, perverted lowlife. And I hope that 129 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,720 whatever rock you crawled out from under falls on your head and your brain 130 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:14,940 squished out through your nose. 131 00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:32,050 I can't repeat it, but it was filthy. 132 00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:36,730 I was afraid this was going to happen. 133 00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:38,530 What do you mean? 134 00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:41,870 Laura, there's some rumors going around school about you. 135 00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:46,330 Rumors? Well, actually, it's just one rumor. 136 00:12:46,650 --> 00:12:47,850 But it's a doozy. 137 00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:51,010 Wait a minute. 138 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,410 Does this rumor have anything to do with me and Ted? 139 00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:54,850 Yeah. 140 00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:58,210 Everybody says that you guys did it. 141 00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:00,310 What? 142 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,040 I was really upset. 143 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,400 Thank you, Max. 144 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:04,740 Then why didn't you tell me first? 145 00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:08,600 Max, it's a lie. It didn't happen. 146 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:10,240 I knew that. 147 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,560 Steve told me that Ted was bragging to his friends, but I didn't believe him. 148 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,240 Wait a minute. 149 00:13:18,460 --> 00:13:20,580 Maybe this rumor hasn't spread as much as I think. 150 00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:22,060 Who told you, Max? 151 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:23,960 The basketball team. 152 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,320 It's nothing like a long, grist walk to get the old heart popping. 153 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000 Hey, Laura. 154 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,720 Laura, are you crying? 155 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,400 No. 156 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,480 Oh, Rachel, I think it's mother -daughter time. Oh, sure, sis. I'll just 157 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:56,700 and read Richie a bedtime story. 158 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:58,720 Hope he doesn't mind if I wake him up. 159 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,180 Honey, what's the matter? 160 00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:11,890 Everything's fine. 161 00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:15,530 Except my life is over. 162 00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,210 Can't be that bad. 163 00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:19,510 Yes, it is. 164 00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:24,710 I just found out the first guy I ever really cared about is a creep. 165 00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:27,290 Tell him what he do. 166 00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:31,530 He told his friends that we did the horizontal poker. 167 00:14:34,530 --> 00:14:36,150 Is that what I think it is? 168 00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:38,750 Yeah. 169 00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:40,110 I see. 170 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,870 Laura, did you have sex with Ted? 171 00:14:45,890 --> 00:14:46,890 No. 172 00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:56,950 I mean, I thought about it, but 173 00:14:56,950 --> 00:14:59,150 I'm just not ready for that yet. 174 00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:01,590 Good, Laura. 175 00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:03,150 Very good. 176 00:15:03,850 --> 00:15:04,990 You did a good thing. 177 00:15:08,410 --> 00:15:09,830 What am I going to do, Mom? 178 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:15,930 Well, the first thing tomorrow, your father and I are going to call Ted's 179 00:15:15,930 --> 00:15:17,930 parents. That won't do any good. 180 00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:20,130 They'll just ask Ted and he'll deny it. 181 00:15:21,910 --> 00:15:24,910 And the whole school will go right on thinking that I'm easy. 182 00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:28,810 Honey, people that know you're not going to believe a vicious lie like that. Why 183 00:15:28,810 --> 00:15:29,810 not? 184 00:15:29,870 --> 00:15:32,890 Well, the truth is when I heard rumors about people, I believed them. 185 00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:37,850 I sure feel different now that the rumor is about me. 186 00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:40,150 Well, you see, that's the problem with rumors. 187 00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:43,830 You know, they don't have to be true. People will believe them as long as 188 00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:44,830 they're juicy. 189 00:15:45,450 --> 00:15:51,150 Well, I just feel so helpless. 190 00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:53,950 Don't worry, honey. We're going to fight back. 191 00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:59,210 Fight back? That's right. There's a solution to every problem. 192 00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:00,910 That's the easy part. 193 00:16:01,770 --> 00:16:02,770 What's the hard part? 194 00:16:04,070 --> 00:16:05,550 Figuring out what the solution is. 195 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,320 and I'm the good cop, right? Shut up, Steve. You're getting on my nerves. 196 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,040 Oh, you're good. 197 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:25,840 Hey, 198 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,200 man, what's your problem? 199 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:35,900 You're my problem. And this is your problem. Hey, hey, Anno, Anno, Anno, 200 00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:38,080 Relax, Anno. What did I do? 201 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,840 I don't know, Teddy, but the E -man here is in one of his moods. 202 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,860 So if I were you, I'd tell the truth. 203 00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:45,780 Okay, okay. 204 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,180 What's the matter, Eddie? 205 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:50,440 What's the matter? 206 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:52,020 What's the matter? 207 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:56,600 You stand there with your bare face hanging out and you have the nerve to 208 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,700 what's the matter? 209 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:03,340 Now, now, now, take it easy, Eddo. He's just a kid. A scared kid. 210 00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:06,660 Gum? 211 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:09,640 No, thanks. 212 00:17:09,859 --> 00:17:10,859 Why's he so mad? 213 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,240 Well, he's irked. 214 00:17:12,819 --> 00:17:14,400 Upset. Perturbed. 215 00:17:16,650 --> 00:17:17,169 About what? 216 00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:18,170 Oh, I don't know, Ted. 217 00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:21,750 Could it possibly have something to do with the rumors that you and your algae 218 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,089 -sucking friends here have been spreading about my sister? 219 00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:27,410 Hey, Ted, you gonna let him insult us like that? 220 00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:29,830 Yeah. 221 00:17:31,730 --> 00:17:32,830 Just ask her. Go ahead. 222 00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:36,050 As soon as you like to talk, Ted. 223 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,030 So talk to me. 224 00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:40,930 Tell me what happened on your date with Laura. 225 00:17:43,030 --> 00:17:44,030 Uh... 226 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,240 We went to the movies. 227 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:47,680 We grabbed something to eat. 228 00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:49,960 And then I took her home. 229 00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:52,660 Oh, that's it? 230 00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:55,880 You mean you didn't score with her? 231 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,240 No, I didn't score. 232 00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:03,320 Yes, you did. You told us. We were standing right here. Shut up. 233 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,920 Look, Eddie, I never said I scored, man. 234 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:10,240 But I might have let him think I did. 235 00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:12,220 So the truth is... 236 00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:15,690 That nothing happened on your date with Laura, right? 237 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,130 Nothing. 238 00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:22,430 One kiss. I kept my eyes open. 239 00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:30,010 Ted, you do realize that according to the unofficial code of the Big Brothers, 240 00:18:30,130 --> 00:18:32,790 that I should expose you and your friends' vital organs to daylight? 241 00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:38,010 True, but that code is unofficial. 242 00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:56,889 you like me too. 243 00:18:56,890 --> 00:18:57,789 I do. 244 00:18:57,790 --> 00:18:59,530 Then how could you hurt me like this? 245 00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:02,490 Just so you could look good in front of your friends? 246 00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:04,570 I'm sorry, Laura. 247 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:08,730 Look, I know it's asking a lot, but can we wipe the slate clean? 248 00:19:09,210 --> 00:19:10,209 Start over? 249 00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:11,210 No way. 250 00:19:13,870 --> 00:19:14,870 I don't know, Ted. 251 00:19:15,230 --> 00:19:16,230 She doesn't know, Ted. 252 00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:19,950 I have to think about it. She has to think about it. 253 00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:24,590 But it'll be real hard for me to forgive the fact that you boosted your rep by 254 00:19:24,590 --> 00:19:25,590 ruining mine. 255 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,240 handle this conversation myself, okay? 256 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,960 She'll handle this conversation herself, okay? 257 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,780 Laura, I feel real bad about this. 258 00:19:43,980 --> 00:19:47,960 I can't believe I wanted to impress these dorks. Hey, Ted, you calling us 259 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,180 Yes. Just ask and go ahead. 260 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,780 Laura, I really care about you. 261 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,060 And I don't care how long it takes, but I'm gonna find a way to make it up to 262 00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:00,060 you. 263 00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:07,060 How we do, Laura? 264 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,200 Hey, Mom and Dad will be real proud. 265 00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:10,540 Oh. 266 00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:13,300 Thanks, Eddie. You're a terrific big brother. 267 00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:18,080 And Steve, yes. 268 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:41,140 You tried to warn me, but I wouldn't listen. 269 00:20:41,580 --> 00:20:43,300 And then you helped me get out of this mess. 270 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,780 I really appreciate what a good friend you are. 271 00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:48,860 Want to get married? 272 00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:54,000 Steve, I'm only 15 years old. 273 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:56,260 Aye, true, true, but I've done a little research. 274 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:59,400 In some areas of the country, the minimum marriage age is 14. 275 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,160 And on the tiny island of Duplonia, well, they don't even have a minimum 276 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,520 marriage age. All you have to do is own a pig. 19001