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All language subtitles for Family Matters s04e03 Driving Carl Crazy

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,860 A bit of bubbly, my sweet. 2 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,260 Let it flow. 3 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:27,800 Harriet. Huh? 4 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,660 How long has it been since we've had Coppa de Winslow to ourselves? 5 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,160 Well, let's just put it this way. 6 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,180 A Democrat was president. 7 00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:48,980 How you doing, big guy? 8 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:50,840 Go home. 9 00:00:51,020 --> 00:00:52,040 Go home now! 10 00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,260 I can't. I've got big news. 11 00:00:57,540 --> 00:01:01,840 I just completed a 100 -hour trumpet course. And boy, are my lips tired. 12 00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:08,140 Steve, can we talk man to pest? 13 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,380 Talk away, big guy. 14 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,500 Well, you see, the wife and I, we... 15 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,560 We're lonely for each other. 16 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,580 Ow. 17 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,400 Ow. 18 00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:29,020 Ow! 19 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,420 You dog, you go. 20 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,080 Ow! 21 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:41,880 Well, 22 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,360 say no more, Officer Don Juan. 23 00:01:46,090 --> 00:01:51,830 Let me serenade you two lovebirds with my special rendition of The Lonely Bull. 24 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,020 Did I do that? 25 00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:03,200 It's so rare conditions this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper 26 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:09,860 page. And love and tradition of the grand design some people say is even 27 00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:10,860 to find. 28 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:17,720 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 29 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:22,480 Cause all I see is a tower of dreams. 30 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,560 Real love bursting out of everything. 31 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:34,160 It's the bigger love of the family. 32 00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:46,290 Go home, Steve. 33 00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:50,550 Why? You just shattered an expensive bottle of wine. 34 00:03:51,370 --> 00:03:55,510 Expensive? Oh, no offense, Carl, but I saw the label. The Chateau Stop and 35 00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:56,550 Oh, come on. 36 00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,550 Go home, go home, go home. 37 00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:02,610 I don't ever take this. I'm going home. 38 00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:12,530 Harriet, look at this mess. 39 00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,350 I have had it. 40 00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:17,209 Carl, calm down. I won't calm down. 41 00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:20,130 Harriet, that kid is the bane of my existence. 42 00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:24,070 He waltzes in here like he owns the place and always with some ridiculous 43 00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:25,070 greeting. 44 00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:26,350 Hidey -ho, neighbors! 45 00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:29,310 Happy duty, Winslows! 46 00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:32,190 Rise and shine, big guy! 47 00:04:32,930 --> 00:04:33,930 Carl, 48 00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:35,290 take it easy. 49 00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:36,489 I can't. 50 00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:39,170 Harriet, that kid... Whoa. 51 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,710 Carl, what's wrong? 52 00:04:41,270 --> 00:04:42,650 Carl, I don't know. I'm dizzy. 53 00:04:42,890 --> 00:04:43,799 Sit down, Carl. 54 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,800 Whoa, sit down. 55 00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:46,380 Now breathe, Steve. 56 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,680 Oh, this doesn't make sense. I always feel great after I kick Steve out. 57 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,300 Carl, I'm calling the doctor. No, no, no, no, no, no. 58 00:04:58,220 --> 00:05:01,640 No, I, uh... I'm feeling better already. 59 00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:04,740 Promise me you're gonna go see Dr. Van Lowe tomorrow. 60 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,160 I will, sweetheart. 61 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:07,300 First thing tomorrow. 62 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,020 Now come to Papa Mama. 63 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:20,880 my pants. 64 00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:27,560 I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my pants. Too sexy for my shoes. 65 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,820 I'm too sexy for my cat. Too sexy for my balls. 66 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,400 On the catwalk. 67 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:39,960 On the catwalk. I shake my little tush on the catwalk. 68 00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:41,540 On the catwalk. 69 00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:43,620 On the catwalk. Oh, 70 00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:47,440 yes, my succulent sweetie. You're not too sexy for anything. 71 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,920 Now, where are your pretty little toes taking you? To the mall, and the answer 72 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:54,879 is no. 73 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,200 I don't know. What was the question? 74 00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:58,400 Can I go to the mall with you? Sure, baby. Let's go. 75 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,980 Too sexy for my shirt. 76 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,020 Too sexy for my clothes. 77 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,100 Too sexy for my friends. 78 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:15,540 And, uh... Daddy, your favorite sister needs a ride in her big brother's car. 79 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,540 Well, why didn't Judy just ask me herself? 80 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,080 Very funny. I meant me. 81 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,820 Boy, not having a car is whack. I'm telling you, the next guy with wheels 82 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,600 asks me out is going to be my new steady. 83 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:32,840 Hi, 84 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:39,700 everybody. 85 00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:41,220 Hey, Carl. 86 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:44,360 Carl, I've been thinking about you all day. 87 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,120 Did you go see the doctor? Yep. 88 00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:47,830 I'm fine. You are? 89 00:06:48,090 --> 00:06:49,090 Mm -hmm. Well, what did he say? 90 00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:52,830 Well, he said that my blood pressure is a skulch too high. 91 00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:57,590 How high is the dose? 92 00:06:58,670 --> 00:06:59,790 160 over 98. 93 00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:02,230 Is that high? 94 00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:04,230 Not if you're a flying Walinda. 95 00:07:05,850 --> 00:07:06,910 I'm fine, really. 96 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:11,230 You see, whenever I lose my cool, my blood pressure goes sky high. 97 00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:14,810 So all I have to do is simply control my temper. 98 00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:16,960 Yeah, that's going to be tough. 99 00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:19,140 What are you saying I can't do it? 100 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:20,700 Carl, 101 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:22,960 calm down. 102 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,640 Oh, popped off there a little. 103 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:28,680 Can't do that anymore. 104 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:35,000 You know, Carl, you need to learn stress management. 105 00:07:35,900 --> 00:07:37,000 I'm way ahead of you. 106 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:38,680 See this little booklet? 107 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,900 I picked it up at the doctor's office. It's called Stress Busters. 108 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,600 Does it have any good tips? 109 00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:45,719 Oh, yeah. 110 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:46,720 And here's the best one. 111 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:51,520 You see, whenever I get angry, I just recite this little poem. It calms me 112 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:54,500 Three, two, one. 113 00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:56,180 One, two, three. 114 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,140 What the heck is bothering me? 115 00:08:03,260 --> 00:08:04,660 Come on, come on. 116 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,600 What's going on? 117 00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:09,620 Steve has a surprise for you. 118 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,360 Oh, no. 119 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,080 Did he sculpt my likeness out of compost again? 120 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,460 No, but this will give you just as many nightmares. 121 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:46,740 How much did you pay for this thing? 122 00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:50,100 Nothing. My Uncle Cecil gave me 50 bucks to take it away. 123 00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:53,940 Wait a minute. 124 00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:55,640 I've seen this thing before. 125 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,360 You have? 126 00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:58,700 Yeah. 127 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,600 This is the car all the clowns get out of at the circus. 128 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,260 Hey, there's a clown in it now. 129 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,160 Oh, that was so funny, I forgot to laugh. 130 00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:14,260 But seriously, C, who makes this car? 131 00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:19,810 BMW. A beamer, babe. 132 00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:21,170 A 1960. 133 00:09:21,870 --> 00:09:23,390 I said I. 134 00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:26,330 I said it. That's what I said, huh? 135 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,110 Bye. 136 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:31,750 Not so fast, missy. 137 00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:37,210 Now, you said the next guy with wheels who asked you out would be your boy toy. 138 00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:40,730 Well, this is the toy, and I'm your boy. 139 00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:45,010 Steve, you don't even know how to drive. 140 00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:46,510 So I learned. 141 00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:50,600 Give it up, Steve. You had 20 accidents last year just walking. 142 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:56,440 Uh -uh. She's right. She's right. But in my defense, four of those walkers had 143 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:57,440 been drinking. 144 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,300 Yowler, big guy. 145 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:05,600 Go home, Steve. 146 00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:08,600 Hi, Estelle, my bodacious belle. 147 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,020 Hello, Steve. 148 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,420 I heard you got yourself a car. 149 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,800 Oh, yes, indeedy. It's a real beauty, too. In fact, that's... That's why I'm 150 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,360 here, to ask Carl a big favor. Will you teach me how to drive, big guy? 151 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:25,860 Steve, why don't you ask your parents to teach you how to drive? 152 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,100 I can't. They have a car phobia. 153 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,220 Why? I was born in one. 154 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,660 Steve, can't you take driver's ed? 155 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,720 No, it's the middle of the semester. 156 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,560 Please, Carl, teach me, big guy. 157 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,760 Mold me into a motor man. 158 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:47,940 it, honey. Look at that face. 159 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,200 Look at it. 160 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:58,780 Mother, you know how I get when I'm around Steve. I just want to throw 161 00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:04,260 It'll be a good pet to see if you can teach him without losing your temper, 162 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,320 honey. 163 00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:13,020 Steve. 164 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:17,530 You have to promise that you'll try very hard not to irritate me. 165 00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:16,000 Could we concentrate on teaching if you don't mind? 166 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,400 Well, do you get in this thing or put it on? 167 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,180 Oh, break me up! 168 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,840 I'm sorry. 169 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,780 But... Well, how do you get in this thing? There's no door. 170 00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:20,980 some basics here. 171 00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:25,660 You got your ignition, you got your turn signal, you got your gear shift, you 172 00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:28,420 got... Wait a minute, where's your speedometer? 173 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,120 There isn't one. 174 00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:32,580 That's why my uncle put in this little chalkboard. 175 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,640 So you can write down how fast you think you're going. 176 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,460 All right, just put the key in and start the engine. 177 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,520 Listen to that tiger growl. 178 00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,300 like a gerbil. 179 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:58,620 All right, the next step is... I can't believe it. I'm behind the wheel of my 180 00:13:58,620 --> 00:13:59,620 very own car. 181 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,940 Calm down. 182 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,720 Oh, I can't, Carl. I'm too excited. 183 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,860 I'm in hergo overdrive. 184 00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:10,120 Yesterday, I was a nerd. Today, 185 00:14:32,810 --> 00:14:34,190 Did I do that? 186 00:14:37,570 --> 00:14:39,510 It wasn't termites. 187 00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:18,070 Look what you've done. 188 00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:20,770 You have creamed my garage door. 189 00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:23,550 Don't be sleepy, big guy. Timber, timber. 190 00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:29,450 Three, two, one. 191 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,530 One, two, three. 192 00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:08,340 I lost it there. 193 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,700 Complete control now. 194 00:16:56,190 --> 00:16:57,190 Bothering me. 195 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,479 Man, I'm dizzy. 196 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,100 Well, take it easy. I'll go get help. 197 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:54,200 I'm 198 00:17:54,200 --> 00:18:01,200 sorry, 199 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,860 Carl. I'm so sorry. 200 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:10,740 Steve, could you excuse us for a moment? I'd like to speak to my husband alone. 201 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000 Sure. 202 00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:37,740 And he told me a few things I found very interesting. 203 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,600 Like what? 204 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:47,660 He told me he gave you a list of things to do to lower your blood pressure. 205 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:48,900 Is that right? 206 00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:52,340 Well, there could have been a list. 207 00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:55,940 Reduce your salt intake. 208 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,880 Start a low -fat, low -cholesterol diet. 209 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:00,960 Exercise every day. 210 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,300 And that stupid one -two... 211 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:11,180 I found the booklet in the waiting room. It was keeping the coffee table level. 212 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,360 Carl, why did you ignore the doctor's advice? 213 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:21,640 Oh, come on, Harriet. No salt, no donuts, lots of exercise. 214 00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:23,660 My life will be a living hell. 215 00:19:26,980 --> 00:19:28,420 At least you'd be living. 216 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,040 I know. 217 00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:32,740 Listen, Carl. 218 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,940 You may not worry about your health, but I sure do. 219 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,720 And so does the rest of your family. 220 00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,760 But, Harriet, the stuff that Doc wants me to do is a real pain. 221 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,360 I'll tell you what gives me a pain, Carl. 222 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,120 The thought of living without you. 223 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:51,960 Oh, Harriet. 224 00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:56,080 Carl, we have a lot to look forward to. 225 00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:01,180 I want both of us to be here to watch our children grow up and get married and 226 00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:02,180 have children of their own. 227 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,600 It'd be nice to have some grandkids. 228 00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:11,030 We're a team, Carl. 229 00:20:12,350 --> 00:20:14,630 Let's do everything we can to keep the team together. 230 00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:18,330 You're right, sweetheart. 231 00:20:19,590 --> 00:20:22,850 You know, Robert Browning said it best. 232 00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:25,830 Grow old along with me. 233 00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:28,290 The best is yet to be. 234 00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:31,450 I love you, Carl. 235 00:20:32,470 --> 00:20:33,770 I love you too, Harriet. 236 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:37,320 Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Lorimar 237 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,760 Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television 238 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:41,760 Distribution. 16102