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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:08,760 Uh, 2 00:00:15,220 --> 00:00:19,480 Steve, you're late for work. I know, Sweetums, but I had to put the finishing 3 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:20,840 touches on my latest invention. 4 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,500 So what'd you invent this time? 5 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:27,080 Well, I like to improve my efficiency as a waiter, so I took my skateboard and 6 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,980 I... Well, you'll see. It's demonstration time. 7 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:19,840 It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper 8 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:26,120 page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even 9 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,280 harder to find. 10 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:34,340 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 11 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:42,480 Cause all I see is a tower of dreams, real lovers in every scene. 12 00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:50,930 The bigger love of the family. 13 00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:07,310 Okay, son. 14 00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:09,350 Herb, hand me those wire cutters. 15 00:02:10,270 --> 00:02:11,710 Okay, but what's the big rush? 16 00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:15,550 We want to finish installing this dish in time for tonight's world bikini 17 00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:16,550 contest. 18 00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:39,770 Well, where is everyone? 19 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,190 Oh, uh -huh. 20 00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:46,570 You, me, lips, samooch. 21 00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:53,150 You, me, oh, fist, her. 22 00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:58,390 Oh, you kidder. So, what were you doing up there? Shaving the old pits? 23 00:03:01,310 --> 00:03:04,650 I was not shaving my pits. 24 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,020 Anna, go for the biker chick look. 25 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,080 Oh, 26 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:18,260 what'd I say? 27 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:20,660 Women. 28 00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:23,820 Careful with those wires, Dad. You don't want to get fried. 29 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:27,080 Son, relax. 30 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,140 I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. 31 00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:37,220 You see, these wires will connect to this cord, and this cord is not plugged 32 00:04:21,519 --> 00:04:22,520 young to do the laundry. 33 00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:26,800 Rachel, where did you get that? 34 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,320 Hey, it's not mine. 35 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:29,720 Then whose is it? 36 00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:36,820 Come on. 37 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,920 You bought this? 38 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,280 Of course not. 39 00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:42,420 It was a gift. 40 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,880 He wants me to shout out to him how the picture looks. 41 00:04:57,140 --> 00:04:58,140 Mr. Winslow! 42 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,160 Yeah? 43 00:05:02,660 --> 00:05:04,860 The picture looks real dark. 44 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,760 Walter, honey, the TV's not on. 45 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,040 Oh, shoot, then I came in here for nothing. 46 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:14,900 Walter, wait, wait, wait. 47 00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:16,920 We'll turn on the TV for you. 48 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,040 I'm doing that. 49 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:32,680 Hang out loud. 50 00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:34,260 Work with me, people. 51 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,280 That's a stupid boy. 52 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,460 Look, we lucked out. 53 00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:45,960 American Gladiators is on. 54 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:50,600 20 seconds to go. Spencer has adopted a defensive position. What's American 55 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:55,260 Gladiators? It's a macho game show. Two contestants battle gladiators, and 56 00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:56,740 whoever gets the most points wins. 57 00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:58,830 Yeah, I love it. this show. 58 00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:02,550 There's never been a lot of half -naked men flaunting their muscles. 59 00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:05,710 Exactly. I love this show. 60 00:06:06,770 --> 00:06:08,050 See that guy right there? 61 00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:09,390 You mean Sabre? 62 00:06:09,910 --> 00:06:11,750 She knows their names. 63 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:13,790 There's my cousin. 64 00:06:14,510 --> 00:06:16,190 You got a cousin on television? 65 00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:19,510 Sure. Of course, he's not the only successful fall, though. 66 00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:21,030 I have an uncle at Harvard. 67 00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:22,270 Does he teach? 68 00:06:22,870 --> 00:06:24,950 Nope. His head's in a glass jar. 69 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:34,800 This is not a dance floor. 70 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,200 And what are you doing up here anyway? Didn't I tell you to stay away? 71 00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:42,760 Oh, now, come on, Carl. That little electrocution thing should be a dim 72 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:43,760 by now. 73 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:55,320 Hey, that cleared my sinuses. 74 00:06:58,060 --> 00:07:01,100 Steve, we're almost done up here. Don't mess things up. 75 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,040 Well, look, I'll just have a little look, Steve. 76 00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:09,030 Yeah. Mm -hmm. 77 00:07:09,490 --> 00:07:10,490 Mm -hmm. 78 00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:12,230 Mm -hmm. Uh -oh. 79 00:07:13,110 --> 00:07:14,110 What uh -oh? 80 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,830 Well, you use wood screws instead of masonry screws. 81 00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:18,890 Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. 82 00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:21,250 Wood screws are good enough. 83 00:07:21,490 --> 00:07:23,490 Well, sure, as long as the wind never blows. 84 00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:26,110 One good guess and this baby's a lawn sculptor. 85 00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:31,890 Steve, get off this roof. Now, Carl, I think you're being... Get off this roof. 86 00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:34,870 If you just give me... Get off this roof, get off this roof, get off this... 87 00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:27,930 Fortunately, we landed on Steve. 88 00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:32,510 Come on, Waldo. 89 00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:33,830 Let's go get some ice. 90 00:08:34,110 --> 00:08:36,090 Good idea, because my sody pops warm. 91 00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:13,990 to apologize to you? 92 00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:22,810 I came over to lend a helping hand, but you were 93 00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:25,390 rude and patient and not a nice host. 94 00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:32,410 You ruined our satellite dish, and you almost killed me and my son. 95 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:37,010 And you think that justifies coarse behavior? 96 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,860 society and by golly we should handle our differences in a civilized way 97 00:10:56,860 --> 00:11:00,880 fortunately i have a cousin that can make that happen 98 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:11,620 tonight 99 00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:16,780 on american gladiators a special grudge match between beauty neighbor that's 100 00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:18,660 right mike tonight's matchup is between 101 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,680 Welcome back, and let's talk to our feuding neighbors. 102 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,760 Bone Crusher, I understand that besides our cash prize, you have a little side 103 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:57,080 bet going. That's right, Mike. If I win, and I most certainly will, he has to 104 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,080 stay away from my house for the rest of his life. 105 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,760 And Hurricane, what happens if you win? 106 00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:05,120 Oh, there's no if, Mr. 107 00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:11,160 Zonka. When I win, this rude cop has to give me a heartfelt apology. 108 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,460 No, say it, don't spray it. 109 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,920 Okay, gentlemen, go get ready for the first event, and good luck. 110 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,960 Let's see how our contestants match up. 111 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,960 Yes, sir, this is a classic David and Goliath matchup. It's strength versus 112 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:34,960 agility. 113 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,500 And, Larry, our first event is the joust. The contender has 30 seconds to 114 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,040 knock the gladiator from his platform. 115 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,160 If he does, he gets 10 points. 116 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:47,980 First up, Steve Hurricane Urkel, but he draws the awesome turbo. 117 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,340 Pretty good job of avoiding that pugilist. 118 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:39,900 Spoke too soon. 119 00:13:44,260 --> 00:13:46,860 That's Turbo's 11th victory this season. 120 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,520 You're taking an early lead in the competition. 121 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,240 You hit my husband again, and you'll have to answer to me. 122 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:51,800 I'm down again. 123 00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:54,400 Yeah, spread the word. Don't mess with Mrs. 124 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,600 Bone Crusher. 125 00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:02,100 Okay, Steve, you're down ten points. 126 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,260 I may be down, but I'm far from out, my man, my man. 127 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:10,160 Well, Hurricane, it's time for the wall. You've got to get to the top before the 128 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,220 gladiator pulls you off. 129 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,600 You think you can do it? 130 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:13,760 Piece of cake. 131 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,680 No. Fine. 132 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,160 Predators, ready. 133 00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,080 Whoa, listen to that crowd. 134 00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:31,640 Ready. Ready. 135 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,140 Jericho's looking good. He's looking great. This kid's got some real moves. 136 00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:41,570 Well, he told me earlier he spent most of his life dodging really well. really 137 00:15:41,570 --> 00:15:42,570 big guy. 138 00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:50,950 Calling all units. Officer down. 139 00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:05,370 Look, look, Colonel Schwarzenegger. Look like Sabre was on the wrong end of that 140 00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:06,370 chute. 141 00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:09,550 Now there's nothing between Hurricane and the top of the wall, Larry. 142 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,660 And that ties the score 10 -10. 143 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,620 Our eliminator obstacle course is the final event where the contender has to 144 00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:35,820 up a treadmill, across a hand bike, over a spinning log, up a cargo net, down a 145 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:39,880 zip line, and then down this final straightaway, through the gauntlet, and 146 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,260 finally across the finish line. 147 00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:44,360 We're down to the final event. The score is tied. 148 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,400 Whoever wins the eliminator... 149 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:47,640 Wins the match. 150 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:59,320 Look out. Bone Crusher's having some trouble with the treadmill. 151 00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,660 It's tough. You know, it isn't exactly the escalator. It's a mall. 152 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,180 Hey, Bone Crusher's coming back. 153 00:17:15,050 --> 00:17:18,430 Hey, we're going to have to downgrade Hurricane Urkel to a tropical 154 00:17:18,849 --> 00:17:20,510 I kind of like that weather analogy. 155 00:17:20,829 --> 00:17:21,829 Oh, thanks, Mike. 156 00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:29,210 Whoa! 157 00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:43,570 Urkel will have to wait five seconds before he can continue on. 158 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,100 Maybe the rest will help. 159 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,820 Man, oh man, both Rutgers fought in the net. How many times have we seen that 160 00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:58,820 happen before? 161 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,060 Fifteen. It was a rhetorical question, Barry. 162 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,860 Uh -oh, 163 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,560 13 is catching up. Hey, this guy's one tough little cookie. 164 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:10,180 I don't know why they call him a nerd. 165 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:11,900 You didn't see him in his big clothes. 166 00:18:19,370 --> 00:18:20,390 We've got a race. 167 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:36,450 Sabre and turbo activating the gauntlet and here they come down the final 168 00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:37,450 straightaway. 169 00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:48,470 Two tired athletes, but Larry, it looks like we've got a race. 170 00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:12,040 and it looks like it's bone -crushed. No, it's hurricane. 171 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,800 It's a photo finish. 172 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,280 Let's take a look at the freeze frame of that exciting conclusion. 173 00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:26,700 It's official. We have a tie. The first tie we've ever had here on American 174 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,880 Gladiators. Gentlemen, great news. 175 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,320 It was a tie. 176 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:34,420 What? You take a five -minute break, and you get to do it all over again. 177 00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:38,180 Steve. 178 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,240 Want to excuse us here? 179 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:46,640 Steve, look, you win. 180 00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:47,900 Uh -uh. 181 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:48,980 You win. 182 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,220 I'll never come over to your house again. 183 00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:53,260 Well, no, I don't want that. 184 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,760 Listen, Carl, I don't blame you for being upset about that electrocution 185 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,760 I mean, the sudden catastrophic loss of seven or eight million brain cells 186 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,420 wouldn't make anyone blow a fuse. 187 00:20:06,670 --> 00:20:10,270 Well, it probably smarted a little when I landed on top of you. A little? 188 00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:13,070 It was like being body slammed by a Steinway. 189 00:20:16,010 --> 00:20:22,170 But what hurt me even more, big guy, was the thought of being banished from your 190 00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:23,170 home. 191 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,450 That's a pain too horrible to bear. 192 00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:30,210 Really? 193 00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:33,250 I know I'm a pet, Carl. 194 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,320 love you, big guy. 195 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:44,580 And I... And I... 196 00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:47,880 admire your persistence. 197 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,240 That's good enough for me. 14399