All language subtitles for Family Matters s03e10 The Love God

blackened pizza.

It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper

page. Love and tradition of the grand
design.

Some people say it's even harder to
find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these kids of war.

Because all I see is the power of dream.
Real love bursting out of everything.

We're going to fill our house with
happiness.

But we'll smother the blue.

It's the bigger love of the family.

Hurry up, Windlow.

I don't like to be kept waiting.

Promise you won't laugh?

You have my word as an officer and a
gentleman.

Promise me you wouldn't laugh.

I had my fingers crossed, ma 'am.

You're beautiful when you're angry.

Okay, that's it. As of now, I am
unvolunteering for this operation.

Fine, Winslow.

You want to be a sergeant for the rest
of your life, that it?

Well, no, but... Listen up.

Some lowlife mugged the wife of our
beloved police chief.

Now, if we capture that lowlife, how do
you think our beloved police chief will

reward us?

With a promotion?

That's the least we can expect from that
old rummy.

Well, let's get this over with.

May I?

I'll put my face on in the car.

Wait, wait, wait.

Allow me, babe.

Don't you even think about it.

Yes, sweetie.

Have you checked out the guy on table
four?

Six foot two, tweed jacket, brown eyes,
gold watch, no wedding ring, small scar

on the chin.

That's him.

Hardly noticed him.

Right. Well, he has to see the manager.

Oh, no. What's wrong?

He didn't say.

Will you go over there? Check out his
dimples when he chews.

I'm the manager, sir. Is there a
problem?

As a matter of fact, there is.

I've got this delicious dinner in front
of me, and I have to eat it all alone

unless... Would you join me?

Well, it's the after -school rush, and
as you can see, I'm really very, very...

Sure.

Mahoney.

In the flesh.

And oh, what flesh it is.

What you gonna do, Eddie?

I'm gonna put the moves on Vonda. Word
is, she's fast.

I could beat her.

Those high heels would slow her down.

No, man.

Guys who go out with Vonda get instant
reps.

We'd be sons instead of what we are.

No.

Virgin?

Hi, Wanda.

Can I buy you a soda? A burger? A
motorhome?

That's a great line.

Thanks. Now go away.

I got a D on my algebra test this
morning, and if I can't get at least a B

the midterm, I'm gonna flop.

Well, maybe I can help you out.

Really?

You any good at algebra?

Oh, please.

Does this look like the body of a guy
who's good at algebra?

Then how can you help?

Oh, well, I know the smartest kid in the
school. He got me through my math

classes, and I'm sure he could do the
same for you.

Really? Mm -hmm.

Um, if you can get him to tutor me, I'll
be very grateful to

you.

Very grateful?

Very, very grateful.

Excuse me.

Ow! What'd I do? What'd I do? Steve!

I need your help.

Now, Edo, I'm busy and I don't blow
mama.

That's Vonda Mahoney. She's fucking
algebra.

If you tutor her and she passes, she'll
go out with you.

Gotcha. And what's in it for the Steve
Arena?

Friendship. We'll be best buddies.

Okay.

Excuse me, Greg. I have to go help my
help.

I wasn't done flirting. Well, neither
was I.

Is that my check?

No, you're mailed down the house.

That's my phone number.

I've been parading around in this getup
for a whole month now, and I haven't

attracted one single sleazeball.

To tell you the truth, Carl, I'm not
surprised.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, isn't the object of this to look
as much as possible like a woman?

Well, of course.

There might be a small problem with your
mustache.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

The police chief's wife has a bigger
mustache than me.

I don't know. Apparently, this guy is
hot for hair.

Something else must be wrong.

There is.

Carl, you don't walk like a woman.

You walk like a linebacker.

Oh, well, I suppose that you know how to
walk like a woman.

I've had a few years' experience.

Watch me close.

A woman is daintier, more feminine.

She flies.

Hey, you are good.

I know.

Let me try. Okay.

Slow down. Slow down.

Okay. Slow.

Okay. Slow. Left to right.

Left to right.

Are we struggling with grease now, baby?
Yes.

Sweetheart, I don't know if I'll catch a
mugger, but I sure need a good laugh

this morning.

Oh,

unhand her, madam.

Steve, take it easy.

All right, how can you be so blase about
this?

My God, girl, you've been watching too
much Geraldo.

I'm working undercover.

I'm a mugging decoy.

Oh, boy, that's a big relief.

Carl, I need the car tonight, so I'm
going to have to drive you. Oh, okay,

honey.

Oh, wait a minute, sweetheart.

That's my bag. Oh, excuse me.

Easy,

easy, Carl. I'll get all the way over
there.

Uh -huh.

And it was thanks to you and your
tutoring.

Oh, congratulations.

But you're the one who deserves most of
the credit. Your own brain got you

there. I just pointed it in the right
direction.

Well, I still want to thank you, Steve.
Oh, you're welcome.

No, you don't understand. I want to
really thank you.

Oh,

you're really welcome.

No, no, um, you don't understand.

There's a certain way.

Did I show my gratitude?

Ow.

Well, I am partial to teeth.

No, no, I was thinking we could go out
on a date.

A date?

Mm -hmm. Ooh, with me?

Mm -hmm.

Ooh, a date day?

Mm -hmm.

Ooh, with me?

Mm -hmm.

I'm going to have to turn you down.

Why? Oh, you're good. It's all good.

Steve, don't you understand that one
date with me is going to change your

life?

Oh.

Well, hell exactly.

Don't some of the kids think that
you're, uh... Well, what's the word I'm

looking for? The word is nerd.

Yeah.

Well, after you go out with me, your rep
would change. You'd become a lady. man.

Yeah.

Wow.

From dead to

Sweat patrol.

I'd give anything to be like Steve
Urkel.

Face it, Eddie. There can only be one
Steve Urkel in this world. And Steve

is one of them.

Oh.

Lara, I saved my best perspiration for
you.

Not my brow.

Forget it.

No sweat, my pet.

In your dreams.

Hey, this is my dream.

Well, then, not even in your dreams.

I can't believe this. I'm being rejected
in my own fantasy.

Steve. Steve.

How?

What?

Now, we need to talk.

About what?

Well, about reputation.

Now, we'll start with Mark.

Now, I wouldn't be comfortable being a
ladies' man. I just want to be one

ladies' man.

Laura, right?

Yes, indeed.

Now, if I have the reputation of being a
nerd, well, that makes no never mind to

me, because I like myself.

Well, good for you. I'm glad.

Now, um, you have a reputation, too,
don't you?

I don't know.

Well, some of the guys in school say
that you're, um... Well, that you're,

Easy? Yeah, that's it.

Hey, to you.

I want to be popular, okay?

But, Fonda, you're terrific. You're
pretty, you're smart, and you're nice.

Like, you don't have to be easy to be
popular.

But I want guys to like me. They will,
but first you have to like yourself.

Do you like yourself?

Not always.

Well, you can change that.

Oh, but I'm supposed to go out with
Eddie Winslow tomorrow night. Steve,

expecting me to be very, very grateful.

Oh, pistache!

Eddie is my best bud, and he happens to
be a true gentleman.

Eddie Winslow?

I guarantee you he will be the first to
congratulate you on your new life.

Actually, he'll be the second one.

Congratulations, Wanda.

I am telling you, I never knew that
hockey could be so much fun.

Well, there's always great action on the
ice. Yeah. Hey, now, what were the

players doing when they weren't punching
and gouging and slapping each other

with those sticks?

Oh, that?

That was hockey. Get out of here.

I tell you, you can sure get rid of all
your aggressions. Oh, yeah, it's a

terrific game. Yeah.

Well, thanks for another great evening,
Greg. My pleasure.

Rachel, I think you're terrific.

In fact, so is your whole family.

They're good, solid, salt -of -the
-earth people.

Hey, hey, hey, Rachel.

Great news.

I got mugged.

Harry is going to be so proud.

Hey, honey.

Sweetheart, it worked.

Hey, Harry.

Yeah, we're good, solid, salt of the
earth people.

Good night, Greg.

Good night, Rachel.

Look, why don't you call me tomorrow,
okay?

Okay.

Rachel. I need to know something.

We've gone out several times now, and I
think we're good for each other.

Well, I think so too, Ray.

You do?

Then why do I feel you're always backing
away from me?

I don't think I'm... Rachel, I'd like
for this relationship to go somewhere.

But if you're not ready for that,

well, I'd like for you to let me know
now.

That way we don't waste each other's
time.

I am ready for a relationship.

Oh?

Then why are you still wearing your
wedding ring?

I'll call you tomorrow.

Sleep tight.

You too.

Hey, Steve.

Doesn't Vonda look great?

Oh, yes, as usual.

I just picked Vonda up. We'll go grab a
quick bite and then it's right back to

Vonda's. Her parents aren't home.

Hey, here's a thought.

Let's get the food to go.

Vonda, did you tell Anna all the good
news?

What good news?

The good news ain't happening yet.

Uh, Eddie?

Do you even know... I had a nice talk,
and, um, he helped me realize that I

don't have to be easy to be popular.

You don't?

No, I don't.

So from now on, I'm not even going to
kiss on the first date.

Thanks to Steve, I have respect for
myself now.

That's great.

Excuse us.

Anna, is there a problem, Anna?

Hi,

everybody. Hey, sweetie.

I got my commendation for catching the
mugger. Oh, girl, that's great.

But would you believe that Lieutenant
Murtaugh is jealous?

What? He says he won't rest until he
gets a commendation, too.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

What are you up with? The clock is
ticking on this 18 -hour girdle.

After you, babe.

Don't even think about it.