All language subtitles for Family Matters s03e09 Born in the Mild

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,450 --> 00:00:11,170 Why, my fragile flower, do you smell a special fragrance today? 2 00:00:12,850 --> 00:00:17,990 I do? Oh, yeah. Now, what is it that spins my nostrils into overdrive? 3 00:00:20,230 --> 00:00:21,730 Arpades? Chanel? 4 00:00:22,410 --> 00:00:23,410 Chalamet? 5 00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,090 Sweet and sour meatloaf. 6 00:00:27,910 --> 00:00:28,950 Ah, yes. 7 00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:32,130 Only you can enhance the aroma of old meat. 8 00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:38,970 Eddie, look. 9 00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:40,930 Uh -oh. It's the dragon. 10 00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:52,990 Table. 11 00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:09,300 Table for seven, geek. 12 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,560 Oh, okay. Coming right up. And that's Mr. 13 00:01:13,780 --> 00:01:14,780 Geek. 14 00:01:25,180 --> 00:01:31,640 It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper 15 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:35,320 page and love and tradition of the grand design. 16 00:01:36,060 --> 00:01:39,040 Some people say it's even harder to find. 17 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:46,080 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 18 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,920 Because all I see is a tower of dreams. 19 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,360 Real love bursting out of every scene. 20 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,400 We're going to fill our house with happiness. 21 00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:09,759 We'll smother the blues with tenderness. 22 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:17,140 There's room for you, room for me, for 23 00:02:17,140 --> 00:02:19,020 gentle hearts and opportunity. 24 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,180 but do you have a name or just a zip code? 25 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,300 Osgood. 26 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,440 Osgood? Oh, that's a great name. 27 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,380 If you're a duck... 28 00:02:54,380 --> 00:03:01,980 Hey, 29 00:03:01,980 --> 00:03:03,580 are you okay? 30 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,320 Not really. I fell on my house keys. 31 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,800 Look, why don't you guys just haul it up? out of here. And what if we don't? 32 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:18,780 Then I have to get... What's going on here? 33 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,240 Well, hello. 34 00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:23,500 My name is Chang. 35 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,060 Chang? Chang what? 36 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:31,700 Just Chang. You know, like Dean, Gerardo, Madonna. 37 00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:34,020 Sometimes one name says it all. 38 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,820 Yeah, like jerk. 39 00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:37,220 Hey, 40 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:42,090 you got... Spunk, do you want to go out with me sometime? 41 00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:43,330 Nope. 42 00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:46,310 I wasn't talking to you. 43 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:51,570 Do you want to go out with me? No, see? 44 00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:56,870 Come on, let's go to a movie. Don't touch me. 45 00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:58,110 Oh, come on, baby. 46 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:06,230 You slapped my hand. The lady asked not to be touched. 47 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,280 I do what I want, when I want, and you can't stop me. 48 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,430 Another nice chick. Yeah. 49 00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:06,410 Old, but a good lady. 50 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,870 Look, I want you to get out of here right... Oh. 51 00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:13,870 Hey, do you own this place? 52 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:17,370 Yes. And I don't want people like you in here, so get lost. 53 00:05:18,290 --> 00:05:19,290 What? 54 00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:21,310 You heard the lady. Get lost. 55 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:23,970 Are you standing up to me? That's right. And so am I. 56 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,450 And so is my friend Waldo. 57 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:32,880 Anybody think Waldo? 58 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,340 You see, you people are rude. 59 00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:40,840 And you shouldn't be rude to a customer. 60 00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:43,240 Because something bad might happen. 61 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,940 Hey! Uh -oh. Oops. 62 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:47,920 Accident. Look, 63 00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:51,640 I want you to get out of here before I call the police. 64 00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:53,480 It's more food now. 65 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:57,400 Hey, guys, do you feel another accident coming on? Yes, we do. 66 00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,700 One, two. 67 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:21,010 Problem here, fellas? 68 00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:24,130 Nah, it's no problem. We were just leaving, officer. 69 00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:27,810 Well, you know, leaving's a very, very good thing. 70 00:06:28,330 --> 00:06:33,530 But you know, never coming back is an even better thing. 71 00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:38,390 Wait a minute. 72 00:06:39,070 --> 00:06:40,070 Did you break that glass? 73 00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:42,670 Pay the lady. 74 00:06:45,290 --> 00:06:46,209 Thank you. 75 00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:47,410 Have a nice day. 76 00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,600 Brush her teeth. 77 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,640 And then they all picked up the dishes in the chairs. Yeah, they wanted to 78 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:09,760 destroy my restaurant. 79 00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,320 No place is safe anymore. 80 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:15,660 That's when Daddy walked in and saved the day. Yes, Chicago's finest. 81 00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:19,300 I wish I was there. I would have given those punks a cunt. 82 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:31,800 their kneecaps. 83 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,400 Hello? 84 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:38,560 Oh, hi, Carl. 85 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,240 What? 86 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,440 Oh, my God. 87 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,100 Well, when did this happen? 88 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,300 All right, then. We'll be right down. 89 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,180 Harriet, what's wrong? 90 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,220 The dragon's just trashed your restaurant. 91 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,240 Oh, I gotta get down the right way. 92 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:55,680 Excuse me, honey. 93 00:08:00,010 --> 00:08:03,330 incident may be too grisly for your delicate eyes to behold. 94 00:08:04,850 --> 00:08:06,130 Move it or lose it. 95 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,690 in time to catch him in the act. 96 00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:34,230 Look at this. 97 00:08:34,570 --> 00:08:36,169 They sure left their calling card. 98 00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:40,909 The whole place is full? 99 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,830 Carl, can't you arrest these guys? 100 00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:48,910 Yes, we can and we will. 101 00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:53,010 Good. Two hours later, the dragons will be right back out on the street. 102 00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:54,790 What? Why? 103 00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:59,090 Well, because every gangbanger will produce ten people who will say they 104 00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:00,450 someplace else when all of this happened. 105 00:09:00,860 --> 00:09:04,120 So these two of them can just do whatever they want and get away with it? 106 00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:05,140 I wouldn't go that far. 107 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:08,100 I would. 108 00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:10,960 Eddie! No, Eddie! 109 00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:12,780 Eddie! 110 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:16,300 Edward, 111 00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,280 who did this to you? The dragons. 112 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:24,440 How did this happen? 113 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,240 I was walking home from my date, and all of a sudden, eight of them jumped out 114 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,680 from behind a Volkswagen minibus. 115 00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:38,180 you okay? Does anything feel broken? 116 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:42,040 No, it hurts a little, but only wimps get into pain. 117 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,800 Come on, sweetie, let me get you home, and then I can put some antiseptic on 118 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,499 those cuffs. 119 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,380 Mom, that stuff stings! 120 00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:55,680 Well, Laura, let's get this place cleaned up. 121 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,300 How long do you think it'll take us? 122 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,560 Well, if we start now and work through the night, about two years. 123 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:13,300 Steve. I want revenge. 124 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,780 But you can't. You're a cop. 125 00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:16,140 But I'm a father first. 126 00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:18,980 But wait, wait, wait. I said wait. 127 00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:22,940 What is it? 128 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:28,840 Well, now you're upsetting with good reason. But if you go out dragon 129 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,520 they'll scream police brutality and you'll lose your job. 130 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,720 Steve, are you saying that I should forget what they did to my son? 131 00:10:35,980 --> 00:10:40,760 No. I know a way we can get the dragons and you can still keep your badge. 132 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:43,640 What is it? 133 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:47,700 Well, suppose we can get some hard evidence to prove that the dragons were 134 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:51,260 responsible for this. That way, no one could lie to save them. 135 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,180 Well, how do you suppose we get this hard evidence? 136 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,820 Wire me, big guy. 137 00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,240 I'm going in. 138 00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:14,380 I wish you'd let me talk you out of this. I still think this is too 139 00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:15,380 for you. 140 00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:16,640 Boo! Pocky! 141 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:20,700 My danger is my middle name. 142 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,200 And besides, you guys will be listening to every word. So if I get into any 143 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,360 trouble, why, you just rush in and yank my bacon out of the fire. 144 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,600 Quiet, men. Listen up. 145 00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:31,900 Here's my plan. 146 00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:42,470 At the end of the alley, right by the brown lake. 147 00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:45,150 Sir, that's a coffee stain. 148 00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:52,930 Thank you, Sergeant. 149 00:11:52,990 --> 00:11:53,990 You're welcome, sir. 150 00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:56,470 Never correct me in front of the kid. 151 00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:06,270 Gentlemen, our neighborhood has been stolen from us. 152 00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:10,130 We take it back. 153 00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:16,430 Tonight, the dreaded dragons face Stephen Q. Urkel, 154 00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:20,350 better known as the Urk -Man. 155 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,050 I'll put this to a vote. 156 00:12:41,330 --> 00:12:44,890 Who wants to go to the movie and then rob him? 157 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:51,470 All right. Who wants to go bowling and then rob him? 158 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,400 I love what you've done with the place. 159 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:20,360 You've got five seconds to tell me why I shouldn't stuff you in a dumpster. 160 00:13:20,940 --> 00:13:21,940 Gentlemen, rejoice. 161 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:23,540 I'm here to join. 162 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:24,900 Oh, man. 163 00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:28,600 Wait a minute. I know you. 164 00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:31,020 You're that little nerd from the burger joint. 165 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,980 Ah, that's my day job. 166 00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:36,500 But by night, I'm a man. 167 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,000 A deranged, antisocial, bloodthirsty... 168 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,080 Yeah. 169 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,080 How tough am I? 170 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:39,780 Yeah, well, I also do my own dental work. 171 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:48,380 And I've been known to return videotapes without rewinding. 172 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,180 Hey, Chang, you want me to hit this pump? 173 00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:55,700 Try me, Chucky Drunk. 174 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:05,140 But it's only fair to warn you that I'm a black belt in karate. 175 00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,780 I used to practice in the Sahara Forest. 176 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:11,840 And the Sahara is a desert. 177 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,440 Oh, sure. 178 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,480 And now... 179 00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:39,180 Winkler, check these out. 180 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:40,600 What? 181 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:44,440 Crick handcuffs. They look exactly like regulation cups. 182 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,700 Sir, shouldn't we be paying more attention to Steve's transmission? 183 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,220 Oh, if he needs us, he'll scream. 184 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,520 You know what's beautiful about these guys? 185 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,140 They're great icebreakers at Singles Bar. 186 00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:03,360 Sir, we're on duty. This is no time for fooling around. 187 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,380 Well, excuse me, Sergeant Killjoy. 188 00:16:07,810 --> 00:16:08,850 Where's the key to these? 189 00:16:09,170 --> 00:16:11,610 There isn't one. You just tap them on a certain spot. 190 00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:12,950 Watch. 191 00:16:13,370 --> 00:16:14,370 Ow! 192 00:16:15,270 --> 00:16:16,270 Wrong spot. 193 00:16:17,350 --> 00:16:18,350 Ow! 194 00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:19,710 Ow! 195 00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:23,130 I think these babies are defective. 196 00:16:23,870 --> 00:16:24,970 Good thing I kept the receipt. 197 00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:28,330 What you kept these on? 198 00:16:30,710 --> 00:16:33,210 I see someone's mighty good with a spray can. 199 00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:34,950 Yes. 200 00:16:45,390 --> 00:16:46,650 great dragon at Rachel's place? 201 00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:47,970 Yeah, did you see that? 202 00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:51,410 I was going to have it come out of this lake of fire, but I thought it was too 203 00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:52,570 derivative and trite. 204 00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:55,670 Oh, absolutely. 205 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:59,210 Oh, and kudos to you on the great job you did on smashing up the place. 206 00:16:59,870 --> 00:17:03,710 Well, thank you. I can't take all the credit. You see, the guys here help. 207 00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:04,710 like a family. 208 00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:05,910 Wow. 209 00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:07,869 It's nice that you do things together. 210 00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:09,670 Yeah, it is. 211 00:17:09,970 --> 00:17:12,150 Were you together when you beat up the Winslow kids? 212 00:17:12,470 --> 00:17:14,170 Yeah, it was a team effort. 213 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,040 You talk too much. 214 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,280 Get up. 215 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:18,300 Why? I'm comfy. 216 00:17:20,579 --> 00:17:22,960 I've been thinking. Something doesn't add up. 217 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,380 What might that be? 218 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,560 I've seen two versions of you. 219 00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:30,620 A wimpy little nerd and this. 220 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:35,100 So I asked myself, which one is the real one? 221 00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:37,340 And I don't think it's this. 222 00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:39,340 Nice earrings. 223 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,600 I'm lucky for you that was a clip -on. 224 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:53,640 So then I asked myself, if this is just an act, why are you really here? 225 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,460 Oh, come up with an answer. 226 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:03,000 It occurs to me that you could be wired. 227 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,080 We gotta get these off now! 228 00:19:37,950 --> 00:19:38,950 Really, really sure. 229 00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:40,250 Really sure. 230 00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:43,250 Well, ten more seconds and I would have been a Steve kebab. 231 00:19:44,490 --> 00:19:45,630 You did real good, Steve. 232 00:19:45,870 --> 00:19:46,870 I'm proud of you. 233 00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:48,870 Gee, thanks, big guy. 234 00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:53,190 Now let's cut these bollocks and feed them to the paddy wagon. 235 00:19:54,170 --> 00:19:55,910 Uh, no cuffs. No cuffs. 236 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:59,910 Go outside now. Keep your hands high where I can see them. Take it slow. 237 00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:02,710 All right, here we go. One at a time. One at a time. See the officers outside. 238 00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:04,790 Let's go. Keep it moving. 239 00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:06,190 Keep it moving. Come on. 240 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,980 Pick up the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat. 241 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,700 Hey, you guys are so casual and so nonchalant. 242 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,340 Hey, we're professionals. 243 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:22,680 I'm told. 244 00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:24,620 To Rachel's place. 245 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:30,540 Back and better than ever. Thank you. And I want to tell you how much I 246 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:33,520 appreciate the way you all pitched in and helped me clean this place up. 247 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:35,760 Oh, Rachel. We're family. 248 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:38,520 And we don't expect to be charged for this, please. 249 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:41,820 Oh, wait a minute. One more toast. 250 00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:47,200 To the young man who helped put the dragons away for a very long time, 251 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,200 Urkel. 252 00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:49,700 Aw, 253 00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,300 thanks, big guy. 254 00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:55,780 Hey, may I draw your attention to the menu and the new Urkel sandwich? 255 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,880 Yeah, it's a hero sandwich, but it's mostly bologna. 17546

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