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All language subtitles for Family Matters s03e03 The Show Must Go On

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:19,690 Sorry to startle you, ma 'am. 2 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,210 I'm looking for your husband. 3 00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:27,710 That's a good one, sir. 4 00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:30,850 But I'm just helping out around the house. 5 00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:32,890 You see, we're a modern family. 6 00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:36,650 Harriet's out working late, so I'm up here straightening up and cooking 7 00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:38,570 Cooking and cleaning? 8 00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:42,310 My God, man, where's your self -respect? 9 00:00:43,850 --> 00:00:45,790 I have plenty of self -respect. 10 00:00:46,470 --> 00:00:49,350 Oh, touchy. What is it, PMS? 11 00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:54,990 Here, this is for you. 12 00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:57,250 A beeper? 13 00:00:57,370 --> 00:00:58,370 That's right. 14 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,660 From now on, when there's important police business that needs to be handled 15 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:04,120 quickly, I can reach you anytime, anywhere. 16 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:09,600 Sir, are any other sergeants getting beepers? No, just you. 17 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,540 All my other sergeants have already had their annual performance review. 18 00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:17,120 I understand, sir. 19 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,800 Excellent. Now stick that beeper in your purse. 20 00:01:27,770 --> 00:01:31,930 Lieutenant, let me just emphasize one thing here. 21 00:01:32,970 --> 00:01:35,490 I wear the pants in this house. 22 00:01:35,910 --> 00:01:38,210 I am the breadwinner. 23 00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:42,250 I am the man of this house. 24 00:01:42,610 --> 00:01:44,090 Hi, honey, I'm home. 25 00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:48,450 What's for dinner? 26 00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:09,770 It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper 27 00:02:09,770 --> 00:02:16,690 page. Love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even harder 28 00:02:16,690 --> 00:02:17,690 find. 29 00:02:18,390 --> 00:02:24,230 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 30 00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:31,550 Cause all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of it. 31 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:07,350 You're getting oatmeal. 32 00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:12,290 Uh -oh, uh -oh. 33 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,870 That's Lieutenant Murtaugh. This could be an emergency, and I'm not even 34 00:03:15,870 --> 00:03:16,870 yet. 35 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,340 Don't you try out for Romeo. 36 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:12,440 No, that will make it a comedy. 37 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,480 You know, those were the exact words uttered by Miss Steuben, the play's 38 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:23,040 director. But, of course, she was bright enough to see that my dashing good 39 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,040 looks... 40 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,140 Are you going to audition for Juliet? 41 00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:02,980 I'm not sure. 42 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,800 You should. You'd be great. 43 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:09,400 Absolutely. I mean, you are related to me, and I am a wonderful actress. 44 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:10,539 That's right. 45 00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:13,080 I've seen her tell a man she was 23 and not even blank. 46 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,160 Well, gotta go. 47 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,120 What was the emergency call? 48 00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:27,860 Oh, uh, Lieutenant Murtaugh wants me to pick up his... 49 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:29,500 Uniform at the cleaners. 50 00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:32,580 Watch this performance. 51 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,600 Oh, Carl! 52 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,120 Don't go out there all alone. 53 00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:41,980 We're crazy about you, you big lug. 54 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,200 Take a seat. Where? 55 00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,060 Pittsburgh. 56 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,820 Oh, Miss Dubin, you slayed me. 57 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,280 Oh, oh. 58 00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:53,600 As I was saying, the auditions were spirited, but the part... 59 00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:06,340 to see him in tights. 60 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:11,760 Now, I have narrowed the choices for Juliet down to two girls. 61 00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:15,640 It will either be Maxine or Laura. 62 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,900 Daniel, would you mind reading with the ladies? 63 00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:26,300 Well, it will be my extreme and intense pleasure. 64 00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,240 Maxine, you go first. 65 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,920 But soft. 66 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,820 What life through yonder window breaks? 67 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,720 It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. 68 00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:45,360 See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. 69 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:50,420 Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek. 70 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,800 You are so gorgeous. 71 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,320 Thank you. 72 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:01,560 Thank you, Maxine. That was a very interesting interpretation. 73 00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:06,870 How'd I do? Oh, you were great. 74 00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:11,970 All right, Lawrence, your turn. Let's start with line 31, act 2, scene 2. 75 00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:20,990 Does thou love me? 76 00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:24,250 O gentle Romeo, if thou dost love. 77 00:08:25,430 --> 00:08:26,830 Pronounce it faithfully. 78 00:08:28,390 --> 00:08:29,470 There's our Julia. 79 00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:30,730 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 80 00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:37,620 Good night. 81 00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:44,460 Parting is such a sweet song that I shall play good night 82 00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:47,960 till it be morrow. 83 00:09:15,810 --> 00:09:18,210 Sweetheart, you look fine. 84 00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:23,970 Thank you, Carl. 85 00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:29,130 In fact, why don't you and I just skip dinner and stay home tonight? 86 00:09:30,390 --> 00:09:31,890 We could do that. Yeah? 87 00:09:32,650 --> 00:09:39,490 But if we do, we'll miss the all -you -can -eat special at Chez Josephine's. 88 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:45,840 Let's go. 89 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,660 Oh, no, not Murtaugh again. 90 00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:55,740 Sweetheart, I know it's a pain, but I'm in my annual performance review time, 91 00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:57,080 and I gotta be on my best behavior. 92 00:09:57,300 --> 00:10:00,420 But don't worry, I'll just call Lieutenant Murtaugh and tell him we have 93 00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:01,420 plans. 94 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:08,260 Now, always remember, Laura, that great acting comes from within. 95 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:14,440 Legendary performances come from actors who can reach deep down into their souls 96 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,760 and dredge up pain. 97 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,000 Can you feel it, Laura? 98 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,760 Can you feel a pain? 99 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,580 I feel a pain, Aunt Rachel. 100 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,280 And I'm hoping it'll go back into the kitchen. 101 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,820 Carl's telling Lieutenant Murtoff that we're busy tonight and he's not 102 00:10:36,820 --> 00:10:38,380 to run his personal errands. 103 00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:41,790 Yes, sir. That's two burgers. Well done. 104 00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:46,950 Small order of fries and one vanilla shake. 105 00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:48,269 Yes, sir. 106 00:10:48,270 --> 00:10:49,129 Got it, sir. 107 00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:50,009 No problem. 108 00:10:50,010 --> 00:10:51,990 Glad to do it, sir. Okay. Bye now. 109 00:10:57,610 --> 00:10:59,250 Now, Harriet, I know what you're thinking. 110 00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:03,770 But the poor guy's car is in the shop and he's lying on his stomach with a 111 00:11:03,770 --> 00:11:04,770 painful boil. 112 00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:10,329 I don't believe this. 113 00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:15,710 I rush home from work, take two hours to get ready, and now I've got to stay 114 00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:18,190 home because your boss has a boil. 115 00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:24,830 You see, Lord, that's the kind of pain I'm talking about. 116 00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:28,370 Now, if you could reach deep down into your soul... 117 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:34,830 Well, 118 00:11:35,090 --> 00:11:38,590 I better go get Lieutenant Murtaugh's food and ointment. 119 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:44,320 that this night can get any worse. 120 00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,420 Anyhow, Winslow. 121 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:51,380 I was wrong. 122 00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:33,029 Yes, sir? 123 00:12:33,030 --> 00:12:34,350 I found that pain. 124 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:45,930 Bravo, Juliet! 125 00:12:46,270 --> 00:12:48,350 Bravo, Juliet! Encore, encore! 126 00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:49,089 Get out! 127 00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:50,110 Get out, Carl! 128 00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:54,330 Carl, do you have to do that after every scene? 129 00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:56,610 Ma, I happen to be proud of my daughter. 130 00:12:56,830 --> 00:12:58,870 I wish I could say the same about my son. 131 00:13:00,790 --> 00:13:01,790 Poor Laura. 132 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,440 What do you mean? The balcony scene is next. 133 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:05,980 Think she'll really kiss Dee? 134 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:07,500 I don't know. 135 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,480 Every time I ask her about it, she just cries and takes another role. 136 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:16,500 Oh, did you bring that beeper to the play? 137 00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:19,680 Well, Ma, Lieutenant Murtaugh ordered me to carry it at all times. 138 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,520 I'll go see what he wants. 139 00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:25,860 No. No, I am not going. 140 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,760 No. This is my daughter's big moment, and I'm going to be here to see it. 141 00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:32,959 Sorry, Lieutenant. 142 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,040 This line is out of order. 143 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:49,600 I'm proud of you. You got your priorities straight. 144 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:53,720 Here goes. 145 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,060 The balcony's safe. 146 00:15:55,850 --> 00:15:56,850 I shall say goodnight. 147 00:16:00,570 --> 00:16:01,850 Till it be morrow. 148 00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:07,950 Oh, God, I wish it were morrow. 149 00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:56,650 Did I do that? 150 00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:07,930 I'm sorry. 151 00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,069 I know, Stephen. 152 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,589 You're always sorry. 153 00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:23,069 Listen, Stephen, I've decided to retire from the theater arts department. 154 00:17:23,819 --> 00:17:25,200 Oh, gee, that's a shame. 155 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:33,040 Yeah, well... Stephen, you're not taking home 156 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,760 -ec next semester, are you? 157 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,240 No. 158 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:40,120 Oh, good, oh, good. 159 00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:42,040 I'll teach that, then. 160 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:23,160 Lunkhead for jerk, jerk, jerk all over your makeup mirror. 161 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,440 That's okay. 162 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,160 I'm the Lunkhead. 163 00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:32,760 Well, why'd you do that? 164 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,160 Because it's true. 165 00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:36,820 I am a jerk. 166 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,180 Laura, I ruined the plane. 167 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,140 Steve, it was an accident. I mean, it could have happened to anybody. 168 00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:52,730 Somebody else it could have happened to. 169 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:56,490 Nope. It was vintage Urkel. 170 00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:04,070 Laura, I've dreamed all my life of being kissed by you. 171 00:19:04,590 --> 00:19:08,870 And when it finally happened, I blew it. 172 00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:13,270 I turned a magical moment into a three -ring circus. 173 00:19:15,970 --> 00:19:17,850 See, if you made a mistake, that's all. 174 00:19:18,430 --> 00:19:20,230 But I ruined it for you, too. 175 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,480 I mean, you was the best Juliet there ever was. 176 00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,640 And I made you look like a fool. 177 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:30,200 Believe me, Steve, nobody thinks I'm a fool. 178 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:35,320 Really? 179 00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:39,280 Do you mean it, or are you saying it just to make me feel better? 180 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:42,520 I mean it. 181 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,100 In fact, the audience liked what you did. I mean, they gave us a standing 182 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:49,660 ovation, five curtain calls. They loved it so much, they wouldn't even let us 183 00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:50,660 finish the pool. 184 00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:54,030 Well, we couldn't finish the play. I leveled Verona. 185 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,650 Thanks for cheering me up, Laura. 186 00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:05,690 You're welcome. 187 00:20:07,350 --> 00:20:08,350 Touching. Sorry. 188 00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:13,970 Come on, let's go to the cast party. 189 00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:15,330 Great! 190 00:20:22,730 --> 00:20:24,830 take the time to pull me out of my misery? 191 00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:27,830 I don't know. 192 00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:31,390 Did you do it out of a love? 193 00:20:35,290 --> 00:20:36,690 No, I did it out of pity. 13414