Original subtitles

You know, I love this room.

It reminds me so much of a kitchen.

Waldo, this is a kitchen.

Hello.

This is an exercise.

Everybody wants an exercise. If you want to exercise, get Arnold Schwarzenegger

or somebody.

Dad?

You okay?

No, I'm not.

Kids, take a look at me.

How would you describe my physique?

Big bone.

Huh?

Wide load.

What do you know? I know this is the kitchen.

Lieutenant Murtaugh chewed me out today.

He said I was out of condition, and he wants me to beat him down in the police

gym for a serious workout at 5 .30 sharp.

But it's only 4 o 'clock, Dad.

I know.

I'm going to stop for some waffles on the way.

Hey, you want to come hang out with us, kidster?

I'm going to stay right here and enjoy the fact that I am momentarily Urkelis.

You know, I hardly recognize you without them.

That's because he's usually buzzing around me like the world's nerdiest man.

And the cute guys show me like to play because they don't want to put up with

the UAF.

UAF? Urkel Annoyance Factor.

No, Laura.

Hang in there. Your dream guy can walk up to your life when you least expect

Now you two be home by midnight.

be some magic clue inside these gentle walls cause all I

see is a tower of dreams real love bursting out of every scene

waltz right out of there today in broad daylight?

Well, Lowell did, but they detained me for five minutes for looking suspicious.

Come on, Lowell. We have to get you back in the basement before Ma and Pa...

you could cut before then.

Well, that's a risk I've got to take.

Lowell's my friend, and friends help each other.

I mean, I was just picturing Lowell jumping from that Cessna at 10 ,000

up in traffic.

Don't lie to me, Winslow.

I smell syrup on your breath.

I just had one waffle, sir.

Sure, it starts with one waffle, then it's two, then three.

Before you know it, you need Vaseline and a shoehorn to get into your squad

Sir, can we get on with this? I'd like to go home. I have a family.

This treadmill is the secret to my incredible physique.

Thanks to this treadmill, I was able to chase down Nitro Newton, the Boston

bomber.

Made me a hero.

Wouldn't you like to be a hero?

Instead of just eating them?

You know, I object to that crack, sir.

You outrank me, but you do not have the right to treat me with disrespect.

I don't?

I don't mind exercising, but no more jokes about my weight, okay?

Fine. Now get on this treadmill.

Both of you.

Congratulations. You're about to exercise on Altrea, the automated

treadmill. Talk to me, baby.

Please state your personal code name now.

Personal code name?

It starts you on your individual program. I recommend you use mine.

It'll help you get in shape front of it.

Please state your personal code name now.

Stallion.

Stallion. Little nickname I picked up during a moment of passion when I was

young and alone.

But Laura is especially delicate.

Why, her little bird heart can only take so much shot.

Steve! What are you doing here?

My dad ordered me to get rid of Lowell. He found out I was hiding him out in the

house. How?

Well, Lowell got a hold of my dad's credit card and ran him up on the home

shopping network.

He bought three gold chains, a refrigerator, and a...

leave for me now.

zipped about the ape in Laura's room.

Red alert. Red alert.

The hole's gone. He's loosing the house.

Let's split before he wants his money back.

Coffee.

I need coffee.

What's with you?

I just had the worst nightmare of my whole life.

What? That you had to move out and pay rent?

No. See, I was out on this date with Denzel Washington, and he kept begging

to kiss him.

So I puckered up and closed my eyes, and he planted one on me.

But when I opened my eyes, it wasn't Denzel. It was some ugly -looking ape.

Major, you've got to stop eating those meatball sandwiches before bed.

They're messing you up, baby.

I have enough trouble with men when I'm awake.

Congratulations. You're exercising on Altrea.

State your personal code name now.

Stallion.

State your personal code name now.

Stallion. State your personal code name now.

Stallion. The code name is Stallion.

Please enter the number of minutes you... Hello, Myrtle.

You recognize this voice?

It's me, Nitro Newton, the Boston bomber.

You bragged about being such great shape when you busted me last month. Said the

treadmill was my downfall.

Well, this treadmill will be your downfall.

I'd put a bomb in it, Murtaugh.

A bomb?

That's right, a bomb.

You understand, Murtaugh? You're gonna blow up the second you step off this

machine.

You're an arrogant, pompous jerk, Murtaugh.

And now you're gonna die.

I'm not Murtaugh. I'm Winslow.

You're blowing up the wrong guy.

Keep walking, Murtaugh. You'll be blown to bits.

Help! Help me!

Help!

What's the matter, Carl?

Listen, we're all cops in this room, right?

Right! I mean, we stick together, right?

Right! Good!

Because there's a bomb in this machine.

squad, okay? I'm on my way. Do you want me to get Lieutenant Murtaugh in here?

Jaworski, if this bomb goes off, it'll kill anybody who's in the room with me.

Get him in here.

Okay, just stay calm.

I can walk forever.

I feel good.

I feel great.

Came as soon as I heard.

Is the bomb spot on the way?

No, all the bomb units are busy.

All of them? How come?

The Middle East Peace Conference is in town.

What? Should you keep walking?

What gets here?

expert in the United States Marine Corps. Oh, really?

Well, I wish he was here.

No, I think we're better off without Stumpy.

Oh.

There's enough explosives in there to level the entire building. Yeah.

Carl. Huh?

I'm feeling a little faint.

Don't worry, Lieutenant.

You'll be fine.

Thank you.

How did you know which wire to pull?

I didn't.

I guessed.

love you too, Lo.

At least lie down and take a nap.

I don't need to, Harriet.

But you were almost blown up. I mean, that had to affect you. Not me.

I am a trained professional.

Stress doesn't affect me one iota.

Maybe just a little nap, Harriet.

Wake me just before Christmas.

Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Lorimar

Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television

Distribution.