Original subtitles

Goodbye. Wait, my old Steve Demonette.

Where's the fire?

Excluding, of course, the blaze burning in my heart.

Look, Steve, I'm eating Maxine at the mall, so I really don't have time to

reject you, okay?

Well, actually, I'm here to see Adol.

Shoot, I just wasted a perfectly good excuse.

She loves me.

Ooh, I really look down.

Oh, hello.

Goodbye. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Before you go, I have a big favor to ask of.

Steve, for the last time, you can't be seen in public with me.

Now, there's irony.

Less than an hour ago, my father told me the same thing.

Anyhoo, you once mentioned you got a primo deal on an I .D. bracelet for

Yeah. I know a guy who gave me a real good price.

Well, could you send him my way? I want to get an ID bracelet for Laura.

Why?

Well, because we've reached the jewelry stage.

Well, that is true.

She has had a ring in your nose for a long time.

Whatever you say, Steve.

See ya.

Step one,

ID bracelet.

Step two, proposal.

Step three, wedding.

Step four, wedding night.

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every scene.

It's the bigger love.

you tell me who it is.

All right, I'm coming.

Hold your horses.

Will you knock it off?

What the hell? Hello, Lieutenant Murtaugh.

Winslow, mind if I come in? Not at all, sir.

Have a seat.

What are you watching? The NBA playoffs, sir.

I hate basketball.

Let's pretend we like it, sir.

In 40 years of broadcasting, I've never seen a shot like that. Michael Jordan

took his own rebound and, well, you saw it.

What can I do for you, sir?

I'm here to talk about our futures.

Winslow.

departmental scuttlebutt regarding promotions?

Well, yeah. I overheard a rumor that you're going to be promoted to captain.

Good.

I started that rumor.

I figured, sir. That's why I started the rumor that you're going to promote me

to lieutenant.

Can that, Winslow?

Nobody likes the gossip.

Carl! Did you see... that Michael Jordan shot?

No.

I missed it.

Rachel, you remember Lieutenant Murtaugh.

Of course.

Hello, Lieutenant.

Hello.

Hello.

Well, if you two will excuse me, I have just earned the right to pig out on some

ice cream.

Rachel is remarkably pretty.

Oh, no.

You don't agree?

Oh, no.

No, I do, sir. It's just that, uh, well, I... Oh, no.

What is so funny?

Oh, nothing.

What is it, Carl?

I'm sorry, y 'all, but I was just thinking about... lieutenant burthoff

cracks me up he does yes he just told me that he

likes rachel and wants to date her

here, okay?

Lieutenant Murtaugh is my boss.

And, well, there may be a promotion in it for me soon.

So I'd really appreciate it if you go out with him just once.

I don't know.

Go ahead, hon. Give it a shot.

Yeah, at least you get a chance to get out of the house and go to a nice

restaurant. Yeah, you might even meet a cute waiter.

Okay.

I'll go out with him, but just as a favor to you.

But let me get one thing straight here. It is not because I am hired up for a

date. Oh, yeah, sure.

Waldo's the guy, and he can give you a great deal.

Have you heard my motto?

No. Dang, I was hoping you'd remember it.

Well, uh, I gotta split.

Where we going, Eddie?

No, Waldo.

You're staying here.

Steve wants to buy something from you.

carefully as I leave so that you can find your way out.

Okay,

Waldo, where's the merchandise?

My what?

They're right here.

Those are watches.

Oh, sorry, wrong floor.

See anything you like?

How much is that one?

Forty bucks.

I'll give you thirty.

Twenty -five.

Twenty?

Fifteen, and that's as high as I'm going.

Rachel, you look gorgeous. Rachel, you look sensational.

I do?

I'll go change.

Why?

I don't want to look too good for this date. I mean, the last thing I want is

for Lieutenant Murtaugh to start thinking thoughts.

Honey, look on the bright side.

You're going out with a man who can walk, talk, and has a job.

I'd settle for two out of three.

wouldn't be here when I get back.

Well, Lieutenant, thanks for a unique evening, but that headache that I got

you picked me up is really pounding now.

That's too bad.

Um, Lieutenant, I... Come on, babe.

First name's here, huh?

Call me Lou.

L -I -E -U.

Gosh, my head hurts.

Oh, yeah.

I, uh, I think I hear somebody trying to steal your car.

No way.

We'd hear the explosion.

Oh, did you enjoy yourself tonight?

Can I be honest with you?

Certainly.

I didn't have a very good time.

Of course you did.

No, I didn't.

Now, take dinner, for instance.

Not only did you insist on ordering it for me, but then you cut my steak up in

little tiny pieces and you tried to feed me.

I'm surprised you didn't burp me.

Is that an invitation, baby?

Steve, you can go now. I'm home safe.

Well, perhaps I should escort you up to your room. After all, most accidents do

occur in the home.

If you don't leave right now, there's going to be a really big accident right

here.

you ado just yet, my pet.

Not until you feast your fabulous eyes on...

I can't keep this.

Well, why not, Pudding Pop?

Because we're not going steady.

But we should. Our relationship is progressing nicely.

Remember, just last...

But lately, I've gotten lazy.

You know, it's been a month since I told you to stop bugging me.

From now on, I will tell you every single day that our relationship will

never...

Makes me think thoughts.

Uh, Lieutenant, you know, I've tried to be nice.

I've tried to be tactful.

But now it appears I'm going to have to be blunt.

You repulsed me.

So you want to slow dance and neck a little?

They tell me that you're leaving.

I can't believe it's true.

Because, girl, there's just no living without you.

Life is hard.

Yeah,

well, my sorrows don't drown.

They just dog paddle around in my heart.

You know something, kid?

Women mystify me.

Yeah, when God created women, he should have supplied a set of instructions.

Maybe we should just give up women.

you're right, kid.

We need women to crank out more men.

Gee, Lou, I can't imagine why Rachel didn't flip for you.

Go figure.

You know, Louie, I've loved Laura Winslow ever since I first laid eyes on

So far, she hasn't returned my love.

Rachel, but that girl's really gotten to me.

She's copped this cop's heart.

Tonight at 8, the competition heats up as the contestants arrive to perform in

Las Vegas on the road to stardom with Missy Elliott.

Then at 9, Jesse's ex returns to eat in custody of their son on Kevin Hill.

Stay tuned for Family Matters next on UPN 27.

Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Lorimar

Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television

Distribution.