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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,410 --> 00:00:09,930 See? Munchies. 2 00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:13,870 Comfy couch. 3 00:00:16,070 --> 00:00:17,290 No control. 4 00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:22,990 Oh, 5 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:27,930 the good life. 6 00:00:30,950 --> 00:00:33,010 Okay, Mom, bring it in. 7 00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:34,350 All right, sweetheart. 8 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,040 Be careful, Harriet. Yeah, okay. 9 00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:47,980 Harriet, I am trying to watch the football games. 10 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,800 Look at my new playhouse. 11 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:54,480 Yeah, this baby is really loaded. It's got a table, a phone, a swinging door. A 12 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:55,480 mortgage. 13 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:59,700 Good luck putting it together, Uncle Carl. Oh, Harriet. 14 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:03,160 Please, Uncle Carl. 15 00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:08,160 Richie, I'll put it together after the game. 16 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:09,960 How long is that? 17 00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:11,300 Three hours. 18 00:01:11,340 --> 00:01:13,660 I'll be two bits for it by then. 19 00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:19,920 But, Richie, it's the Bears and the Vikings. 20 00:01:20,420 --> 00:01:27,280 Please, Uncle Carl, I love you. A bushel and a pet and a hiler and a net. 21 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,620 Okay, okay. 22 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:34,300 I never had a chance. 23 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:08,000 And there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 24 00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:12,820 Cause all I see is a tower of dreams. 25 00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:16,220 Real love bursting out of every scene. 26 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:24,500 We're gonna fill our house with happiness. 27 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:31,440 But we'll smother the blues with tenderness. 28 00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:16,509 What do you want? 29 00:03:16,510 --> 00:03:19,450 Oh, Steve, why don't you just wear a hat like everybody else? 30 00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:24,310 Steve, I'm in no mood for this. 31 00:03:24,730 --> 00:03:26,830 Why the sourpuss, my portly pouty pal? 32 00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:32,490 Well, I have to assemble this, uh, playhouse for Richie. 33 00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:33,950 Oh, you want some help? 34 00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:35,210 No, no thanks. 35 00:03:35,390 --> 00:03:36,890 I mean, it's just a kid's toy. 36 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:38,630 How hard can it be? 37 00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:41,330 Yikes! 38 00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:48,820 Okay. 39 00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:52,240 You read the instructions while I add all the pieces. 40 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:53,580 Okay. 41 00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:03,560 What are 42 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,720 you babbling about? 43 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,760 This page is in Korean. 44 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,410 It's a beautiful language. 45 00:04:18,829 --> 00:04:21,649 I'll teach you. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. 46 00:04:24,650 --> 00:04:29,670 But what's that mean? 47 00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:31,930 I'm falling and I can't get up. 48 00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:38,250 I'll get us some tools. 49 00:04:38,470 --> 00:04:39,970 You, uh, lay out all the pieces. 50 00:04:40,590 --> 00:04:41,590 I'm falling. 51 00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:51,230 Carl to Bill Ritchie's playhouse. 52 00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:54,130 After all, he's not exactly Mr. Fix -It. 53 00:04:54,710 --> 00:04:59,090 That's not true. Remember last month he installed that extra light socket? It 54 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,090 works perfectly. 55 00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:01,950 Attention, everybody. 56 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:04,750 I can't find my screwdriver. 57 00:05:21,130 --> 00:05:22,530 in the middle of a very important conversation. 58 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:28,430 Winky Bear can't wait to see his Winky Bear. 59 00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:32,730 Edward, have you seen my Phillips screwdriver? 60 00:05:33,510 --> 00:05:35,730 Uh, yeah. Last week I used it to fix my bike. 61 00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:37,270 Well, where is it now? 62 00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:39,870 Dad, I don't know. I'm busy here. 63 00:05:41,910 --> 00:05:45,770 Sorry, Winky Bear, but Winky Bear has to talk to Papa Bear. Bye -bye. 64 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,520 What did you do with my screwdriver? 65 00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:52,940 I don't remember. 66 00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:54,100 You don't remember? 67 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,680 Why can't you remember where you put one little screwdriver? 68 00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,940 Because that's not important. So give me a break, okay? 69 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:10,920 Edward. I have told you a thousand times that when you borrow my tools, you put 70 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,080 them back where they belong. Okay, okay. 71 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,500 Son, you know better than to misplace my tools. 72 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:17,920 Oh. 73 00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:20,520 My dad misplaced one of his. tools once. 74 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:21,800 Boy, was he upset. 75 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:23,700 Well, of course, he's a brain surgeon. 76 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,580 So it's tough wondering which of your patients has a clamp in his cranium. 77 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,860 Steve, this is a family discussion. 78 00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,980 And I'm darn proud to be part of it. 79 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,240 Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. 80 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:44,460 Edward, I want to know where my screwdriver is. Dad, I don't know where 81 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,700 Look, I'll buy you a new one. Edward, I can do that myself. 82 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:49,260 Great. Thanks, Dad. 83 00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:57,350 still missing the point here. What is the point? The point is that this 84 00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:01,770 screwdriver incident is just another example of your total lack of respect 85 00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:02,950 people and their property. 86 00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:04,610 It is? 87 00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:05,830 Yes, it is. 88 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:09,330 You start off by forgetting screwdrivers, the next thing you know 89 00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:12,730 dropping out of school, you can't get a job, and you wind up wearing a cardboard 90 00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:14,890 belt and selling your blood for a bowl of soup. 91 00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:17,450 What kind of soup? 92 00:07:18,790 --> 00:07:20,630 What difference does that make? 93 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:26,409 I gotta get going. 94 00:07:26,410 --> 00:07:28,810 Oh, wait. Edward, we are not through here. 95 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,170 But, Dad, I have to get ready for my date. 96 00:07:31,390 --> 00:07:32,570 No, you don't. You're grounded. 97 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:35,610 What? 98 00:07:36,030 --> 00:07:37,370 Over a stupid screwdriver? 99 00:07:37,810 --> 00:07:41,730 Son, it is not the screwdriver. It is your attitude that I don't like. Well, 100 00:07:41,770 --> 00:07:42,790 maybe I don't like your attitude. 101 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:46,350 Uh -oh. 102 00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:50,290 All right, that's it. 103 00:07:50,590 --> 00:07:52,290 Go to your room. Look, Dad, I'm... 104 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,680 Maharishi Moskowitz once said... Scram! 105 00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:08,820 Uh, that's not exactly what he said, but it's close enough. 106 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:32,240 Patty! What was the place? Yes, I'm taking Jolene to the concert. 107 00:08:33,289 --> 00:08:34,289 Life in your hands. 108 00:08:34,929 --> 00:08:37,190 Eddie, Dad grounded you. If you leave here, kill you. 109 00:08:37,590 --> 00:08:40,770 Laura, it'll be worth it to see Jolene in her new miniskirt. 110 00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:43,770 Well, congratulations, Eddie. 111 00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:46,710 For what? You'll be making the license plate for your first car. 112 00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:51,790 Laura, thanks for your concern. But as they say in France, sayonara. 113 00:09:19,339 --> 00:09:20,900 Dad! Hi. 114 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:24,180 Hi. Hey, Dad, you found that screwdriver. 115 00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:27,180 Yeah, well, actually, Urkel found it. 116 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,060 He used his metal detector and combed our backyard. 117 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,380 He found the screwdriver, 38 cents, and a mood ring. 118 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,140 Great. 119 00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:38,940 So where were you? 120 00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:43,480 Uh... I was in the garage looking for the screwdriver. 121 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,960 Really? So is this your, uh... 122 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,780 Screwdriver hunting outfit? 123 00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:52,880 Well, I... Lipstick on the collar? 124 00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:57,300 Edward. Yeah? 125 00:09:57,860 --> 00:10:00,180 Where are you necking with the weed whacker again? 126 00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:05,980 Okay, Dad, I went to the concert with Jolene. 127 00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:09,720 You, uh... 128 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,960 You really like that girl, don't you? 129 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:13,900 I sure do, Dad. 130 00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:19,520 I hope she was worth dying for. 131 00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:22,840 Look, Dad. No, you look. 132 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:28,220 Edward, I went up to your room to apologize, thinking maybe I was too 133 00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:32,100 you. But judging from your behavior, I haven't been rough enough. 134 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:33,860 Dad, you just don't understand. 135 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,040 This date was really important to me tonight. 136 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,020 Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself, son, because you're not going to have another 137 00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:40,380 one for a very long time. 138 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,840 You're grounded for one month. 139 00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:44,320 What? No way. Make that two months. 140 00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:47,720 What's going on in here? Mom, Dad's acting like a maniac again. 141 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,460 Make that three months. How? 142 00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:50,920 Edward, let me tell you something. 143 00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:56,720 As long as you live under my roof, you will live by my roof. Then maybe I 144 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:57,720 just find another roof. 145 00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:58,780 Eddie! 146 00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,080 So you're moving out? 147 00:11:00,590 --> 00:11:01,569 Well, yeah! 148 00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:02,489 Well, fine! 149 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:03,710 Fine! Fine! Fine! 150 00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:08,630 Is everything okay? 151 00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:09,990 Fine! 152 00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:33,540 I don't want to hear it. Where are you going to? 153 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,140 This thing has gotten way out of hand. 154 00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:37,560 We can't let Eddie move out. 155 00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:38,940 Where's Eddie going? 156 00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:40,540 Nowhere. Go back to bed. 157 00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:42,380 Can I have his room? 158 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:44,880 Go. 159 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:48,880 Oh, guys, I feel terrible. This is all my fault. 160 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,180 I should never have asked you to put together Ritchie's Playhouse. I'm his 161 00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:53,280 mother. It's my responsibility. 162 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:57,320 Rachel. True, I'm no good at that sort of thing, but that's no excuse. We learn 163 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,219 by doing. 164 00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:00,720 Rachel. But I didn't do, and now look what I've done. 165 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:04,800 You're mad at Eddie. Eddie's mad at you. I'm mad at me. I tell you, this is a 166 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,800 madhouse. 167 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,520 This whole family has gone off the deep end. 168 00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:13,060 Carl, we can't let our son move out. 169 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:17,600 Harriet, I will not tolerate outright disobedience. 170 00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:20,710 Now, I don't ask for much, but there's one thing I do demand, and that's 171 00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:23,230 respect. You know Eddie respects you. 172 00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:28,290 Harriet, the boy deliberately antagonizes me. He knows everything that 173 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:29,290 goat. 174 00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:30,850 Carl, be fair. 175 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,390 Your goat's gotten older, and it's easier to get. 176 00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:36,670 Oh, sure. Take his side. 177 00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:38,550 There are no sides here. 178 00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:40,030 We're family. 179 00:12:40,670 --> 00:12:42,690 Please go up and talk to Eddie and settle this. 180 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:47,760 Harriet, he is the one who disobeyed. He is the one who wants to leave. So he is 181 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,900 the one who has to come to me. 182 00:12:51,740 --> 00:12:54,380 Carl. Harriet, I have spoken. 183 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,760 Whatever you say, King Carl. 184 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:08,320 But if Prince Edward leaves this kingdom, you will be sleeping on the 185 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,320 couch. 186 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,840 Mom, I'm leaving, and don't try and talk me out of it. 187 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:23,600 I don't want to leave. 188 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,600 Don't worry, Mom. I'll be fine. 189 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,280 So where will you sleep? 190 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,279 I don't know. 191 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,820 What will you do for money? I don't know. 192 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:31,300 Then how will you buy food? 193 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:32,560 I don't know. 194 00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:34,400 Well, at least you have a plan. 195 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,440 Well, anything's better than staying here. 196 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,320 Your father's not that bad. 197 00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:43,420 Oh, really? Why don't you try living with him? 198 00:13:45,940 --> 00:13:47,240 Dad drives me crazy. 199 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,220 Did you ever stop to think that maybe you drive him crazy? 200 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,340 Sure. Take his side. 201 00:13:53,940 --> 00:13:54,940 Eddie. 202 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,920 You know your father loves you. 203 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,500 Well, Mom, he sure doesn't act like it. 204 00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:02,760 No matter what I do, it's never good enough. 205 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,480 He's always on my back. 206 00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,600 I don't even think he likes me. 207 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,439 Wait here. 208 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:13,440 I'll be right back. 209 00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,359 You two. 210 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:26,940 Mom. Harriet, I'm not going to stand up. I'm not going to stand up. 211 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:32,740 You know, the reason you two don't get along is because you're so much alike. 212 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,040 No way. 213 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,080 Look at this. 214 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:41,000 The two most important men in my life acting like big babies. Well, he started 215 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,400 it. Nuh -uh. Did too. Didn't. Didn't. 216 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,160 Let's help you two. 217 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,780 Now, I want to tell you a story. 218 00:15:00,110 --> 00:15:06,590 years ago on january 28th 1974 my birthday 219 00:15:06,590 --> 00:15:11,950 well it wasn't supposed to be but you were as impatient then as you are now 220 00:15:11,950 --> 00:15:18,950 we had just moved into this house and we hadn't finished unpacking it was 1 30 221 00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:21,890 in the morning in the middle of a terrible snowstorm 222 00:15:40,910 --> 00:15:41,909 two things. 223 00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:43,870 Your wife and your pants. 224 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:46,750 I'm sorry, honey. 225 00:15:46,990 --> 00:15:47,990 Are you okay? 226 00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:49,870 Oh, yeah, I'm just swell. 227 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,670 Come on, let's go cut some lung blood. 228 00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:58,130 It's a wonder you ever made a baby in the first place. 229 00:16:00,650 --> 00:16:02,510 Things went from bad to worse. 230 00:16:02,850 --> 00:16:07,170 We were completely snowed in. The phones were dead, and we had no way to get to 231 00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:07,969 the hospital. 232 00:16:07,970 --> 00:16:09,570 So we did what anyone would do. 233 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,020 We panicked. 234 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,420 Carl, relax. 235 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:14,840 Relax. 236 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:16,920 Relax. Yeah, relax. 237 00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:19,100 Now you're a cop. 238 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,239 I'm a cop. 239 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,420 You're trained to handle these kinds of things. I'm trained. 240 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,280 Okay. I took a class once. 241 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,760 The baby was plastic. 242 00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,680 I put him on the radiator and he melted. 243 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,920 Tell me what to do. 244 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:35,140 I'll go buy us a water. 245 00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:36,420 Good idea. I could use some coffee. 246 00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:26,579 you're never touching me again. 247 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,340 Finally, the phone started working again and we called our doctor. 248 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:39,080 He skied right over just in time to be too late. 249 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,200 Carl, you did a great job. 250 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,760 Thanks, Doc. 251 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,180 Your wife and your son are doing just fine. 252 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,240 Would you like to hold your son? 253 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:13,260 Hello, Edward. 254 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:15,640 I'm your dad. 255 00:18:19,940 --> 00:18:20,940 Isn't he cute? 256 00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:22,580 Yeah. 257 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,140 Looks just like you. 258 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,780 I think it looks more like you. 259 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:29,560 Yeah, he does. 260 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,760 Edward, my son. 261 00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:37,600 What a wonderful word. 262 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,360 You know, I'm real nervous right now. 263 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,540 I've never been a father before. 264 00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:47,660 Then again, you've never been a son before. 265 00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,940 I tell you what, we'll learn together. 266 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,500 I just want to tell you, 267 00:18:57,290 --> 00:18:58,870 I love you with all of my heart. 268 00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:02,450 I'll never forget how proud I am. 269 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,510 Right now. 270 00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:27,010 really say those things? 271 00:19:30,110 --> 00:19:32,950 Well, something like that. 272 00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:41,930 Dad, I'm sorry I disobeyed you. I shouldn't have snuck out. 273 00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:45,930 Well, I might have overreacted. A little. 274 00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:48,190 I can promise you one thing. 275 00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:50,010 I'll never lose another screwdriver. 276 00:19:53,530 --> 00:19:54,530 You know, 277 00:19:55,950 --> 00:20:01,750 I remember once I used my father's hammer to mix a can of paint. 278 00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:07,030 At the time, he didn't think that hammers should be purple. 279 00:20:08,870 --> 00:20:13,310 Man, he grounded me for one whole week. 280 00:20:15,370 --> 00:20:17,910 Man, I thought he was the world's biggest jerk. 281 00:20:18,610 --> 00:20:19,610 Now look at me. 282 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,010 I'm him. 283 00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:24,770 Well, Dad, if it makes you feel any better. 284 00:20:25,570 --> 00:20:28,430 One day I'll probably have a kid who'll drive me crazy, too. 285 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:31,350 I sure hope so. 286 00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:36,850 Dad, 287 00:20:39,910 --> 00:20:42,930 I'd like to stay. 288 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,290 I would like that, too, son. 19957