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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,879 --> 00:00:07,120 Any of you seen Steve? 2 00:00:07,820 --> 00:00:10,360 Nope. He's been driving me nuts. 3 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,440 Every afternoon he asks me if he can walk me to work. 4 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:16,020 What you need is urkel repellent. 5 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,640 Yeah, well, I'm going to fool him today. 6 00:00:21,060 --> 00:00:22,500 I'm leaving an hour early. 7 00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:12,510 Good news on the newspaper page. The love and tradition of the grand design. 8 00:01:12,810 --> 00:01:16,170 Some people say it's been harder to find. 9 00:01:17,390 --> 00:01:23,230 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 10 00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:28,110 Because all I see is a tower of dreams. 11 00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:01,789 time of year. 12 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:02,790 Mine, too. 13 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,310 Oh, please, not in front of the children. 14 00:03:08,510 --> 00:03:09,510 Dad, 15 00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:11,490 do we have cell tickets this year? 16 00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:13,630 No, sweetheart, you don't have to. 17 00:03:14,470 --> 00:03:15,470 Yes. 18 00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:16,630 You get to. 19 00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:22,830 Oh, come on, kids, perk up. 20 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,910 I mean, after all, the dance contest is for a good cause. 21 00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,890 We raise a lot of money for the Policeman's Memorial Foundation. 22 00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:30,670 Dad, 23 00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:33,140 Can I be honest about going to the dance contest? 24 00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:35,960 Sure. I'd rather do a swan dive on a cactus. 25 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:42,500 Why? Well, it's real depressing watching people your age do the lombada. 26 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,300 jacket down a peg or two. 27 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,100 Well, why don't you come on upstairs with me? I got a sweater that's been 28 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,100 me trouble. 29 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,700 Harry, make note. 30 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,420 Charlie Carnelli is not welcome in this house. 31 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,920 Fuck. Who's Charlie Carnelli? The biggest jerk down at the precinct. A 32 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:39,920 with a badge. 33 00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:42,140 I thought that was your captain. 34 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:45,560 Sit down. 35 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,160 Relax. 36 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,520 Tell me what happened. 37 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,800 Two weeks ago, this turkey transfers in from the south side. 38 00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:53,960 I could tell he was a goober from the get -go. 39 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,140 And how does this goober get you? 40 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,100 Everything's a competition with Charlie. 41 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,500 Who's got the best score down to shooting range? 42 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,360 Who gets the most collars? Who can burp the longest? 43 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,740 I bet you won that one. 44 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,860 Well, of course, but that's not the point. 45 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,760 Today, Charlie starts shooting off his mouth about how he's going to win the 46 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:18,760 dance contest. 47 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,840 He starts telling everybody that he's the world's greatest dancer. 48 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,320 Now, that kind of bragging is childish, stupid, and petty. 49 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:30,080 Carl, you are absolutely right. So I told him we're going to wipe up the 50 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,080 with him. 51 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,120 Oh! 52 00:05:33,940 --> 00:05:34,940 Rachel! 53 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,600 Is Rachel here? 54 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,540 No, she's at work. But I'm sure she heard you. 55 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,440 Well, I'm going to ask her to come up with a killer routine. 56 00:05:49,050 --> 00:05:49,969 Just for us. 57 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:53,630 Carl, I thought you said we were entering this contest for the fun of it. 58 00:05:53,650 --> 00:05:56,010 well, fun just went out the window. This is war. 59 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,730 A fight to the finish. 60 00:05:57,990 --> 00:06:01,210 The Cornellis and the Winslows are gonna rumba. 61 00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:54,939 You can't lose. 62 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:59,280 Thanks, but let's hear it for my partner, Carl the Dentist. What 63 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:06,940 happened? 64 00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:07,919 My back. 65 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,500 It just went out. And pain came in. 66 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:15,980 Daddy, are you okay? 67 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,540 Oh, Daddy's fine, sweetheart. 68 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:18,760 He's just fine. 69 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,220 I can get for you. My gun! 70 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,080 That's it. I'm calling Dr. 71 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,279 Van Lowe. 72 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,280 Oh! 73 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,940 Say, can you straighten up at all? No, no, but that's okay. 74 00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:46,720 I mean, there are plenty of advantages to being bent over like this, 75 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:48,940 Harriet? Yes? 76 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,160 I need new shoes. 77 00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:04,710 Okay, take the load off. All right, easy. 78 00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:07,490 Easy now. Oh, okay. Oh, oh. 79 00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:10,730 Okay. All right. Just give me. Okay, give me. Oh, oh. 80 00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:12,710 Oh, thank you, son. 81 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:14,050 I love you. 82 00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:19,310 Carl, if you try to dance with a wrench back, you're going to injure yourself 83 00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,570 permanently. Harriet, I can't drop out of the dance contest now. 84 00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:24,550 I will not give Carl Nelly the satisfaction. 85 00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:26,970 Real smart, Carl. 86 00:08:27,390 --> 00:08:30,290 And then after the contest, you can just spend the rest of your life looking 87 00:08:30,290 --> 00:08:31,290 like a pretzel. 88 00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:36,870 since he can see you in an hour. And he said, don't worry, he's got a treatment. 89 00:08:37,630 --> 00:08:40,870 You see, Harriet, he'll get me back in shape and I'll be just fine. 90 00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:42,870 Okay, kids, come on. 91 00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,110 I need help. 92 00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:47,210 And we gotta hurry. 93 00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:48,870 What's the rush? 94 00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:50,910 We'd have to be to the doctor's for an hour. 95 00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:53,010 That's how long it'll take me to get to the car. 96 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:14,960 We need some money. 97 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,760 How much money do you need? 98 00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:24,700 Twenty bucks to cover it. 99 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,420 My wallet is in my right front pocket. 100 00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:35,500 Say, Dad, I can clean you out and there's really nothing you can do about 101 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:42,020 Yeah, but eventually I'd get out of this thing and I'd have to hunt you down. 102 00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:50,870 Want us to hang you out on the porch so you can get some sun? 103 00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:40,110 He says, I have to hang on this thing for 10 days, four hours. 104 00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:29,650 Watch this jerk credit. 105 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,590 Steve, you like this kind of music? 106 00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:50,170 Uh, not really. 107 00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:52,790 Maybe there's hope for you yet. 108 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:19,100 You two don't worry about a thing. You got this puppy locked up. 109 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:20,800 Say, you're very pretty. 110 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000 Well, thank you. 111 00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,260 Now get off my stage. 112 00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:30,180 You ready? 113 00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:31,860 Let's go for it, handsome. 114 00:15:38,179 --> 00:15:41,740 It's a real pleasure to see such talent from the police commissioner's kids, 115 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,920 huh? 116 00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:48,620 Uh -oh. Okay. 117 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,240 The results. 118 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,640 Oh boy, this is the moment we've all been waiting for. 119 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:01,540 The winning couple of the 8th Precinct's Animal Dance Contest is... 120 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:04,140 Charlie! 121 00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:28,050 There will be a dance -off to determine the winner. And the judges have decided 122 00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:29,550 that the dance will be the... Uh -oh. 123 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:35,590 Jitterbug. So let us just give it up for our finalists. And you people, just 124 00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:37,270 please, take a bow. 125 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,530 Come on. 126 00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:01,079 Go out again. 127 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,820 Out? It's on vacation. 128 00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:05,960 I'll go tell the judges we can't dance. 129 00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,180 No, no. 130 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,640 We've got to beat the Cornellis. We're just a jitterbug away from victory. 131 00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:14,540 Carl, this competition thing is driving you crazy. You're in pain. 132 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:15,960 When are you going to give it up? 133 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,940 Never. Carl Winslow dances to the death. 134 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:22,560 Attaboy, Carl. 135 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,180 Out, Steve. Out. 136 00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:37,810 Oh, no, Charlie, I was just admiring my shoes. 137 00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:39,370 Yeah, look, real leather. 138 00:17:39,730 --> 00:17:43,450 Well, I'm glad to see you're okay. For a second there, I thought maybe you were 139 00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:45,030 going to try to chicken out. 140 00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:48,310 Charlie? Charlie, 141 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:50,569 are you okay? 142 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,670 Oh, it's my ankle. It's fine. 143 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,010 It's fine. It's a strong ankle. Real fine. 144 00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:57,530 Okay. 145 00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:01,590 Folks, it is time for the dramatic. 146 00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:04,790 Dance off. Now, dancers, to the floor, please. 147 00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:07,050 Here they come, ladies. 148 00:18:07,290 --> 00:18:08,290 Here they come. 149 00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:10,330 The dance of champions. 150 00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:11,750 The champions. 151 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,850 Are we ready? 152 00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:20,590 Okay, boys, hit it! 153 00:18:42,159 --> 00:18:45,340 What are you doing? Charlie, you're hurt. We gotta stop. 154 00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:46,479 Uh, excuse me? 155 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:50,200 What's going on here? Well, we can't dance anymore. My husband sprained his 156 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,120 ankle. Oh, I'm sorry. 157 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:53,680 You lose. 158 00:18:53,740 --> 00:18:54,740 What? 159 00:18:54,780 --> 00:18:57,220 Folks, the winners of this year's dance contest. 160 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,940 Can I say something, please? 161 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:07,060 You know, this competition thing has gotten way out of hand. 162 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:09,680 You know, I'm hurt. Charlie's hurt. 163 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,060 We both want to win so bad that we're not having any fun. 164 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,100 Right, Charlie? 165 00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:16,660 Right, Carl. 166 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:23,120 So I think it's only fair that we declare this a tie. I think we both 167 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,120 win. 168 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,440 Yeah, I'll take it. 169 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:32,760 Hey, now there is a noble gesture. 170 00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:35,700 Isn't that great, folks? Isn't that great? Isn't that great? 171 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,840 Fortunately, it's against the rules, so, hey, you both lose by default. 172 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,520 Okay, let's hear it for the winners. The commissioners can. 173 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,260 You were wonderful, absolutely wonderful. 174 00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:03,480 What's your hourly rate? And now let's turn the evening over to our 175 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:08,300 young people and their music. They are this country's future, so let's just 176 00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:09,300 and bear it. 177 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:34,860 I'm proud of you. 178 00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:36,780 Really? Yeah. 179 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,600 You had Charlie beat. 180 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,440 They would have given us the trophy. 181 00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:45,250 But instead, you showed what a good sport you could be. Well, thanks, babe. 182 00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:48,770 Come on, Mr. Bojangles. Let's go home. 183 00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:54,770 I'm going to fix you a big banana split and then hang you up on the door. 184 00:20:57,510 --> 00:20:59,170 You really know how to treat a guy. 13024