All language subtitles for Family Matters s02e03 Marriage 101

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,719 --> 00:00:08,280 Thanks for letting me practice on you, Steve. 2 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,740 I really want to ace this first day of class. 3 00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:12,640 No problemo, Edo. 4 00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,900 I have a lot of personal experience in first day. 5 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:19,700 I got a nosebleed at birth. My doctor slapped the wrong end. 6 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:23,800 I'll be right back. 7 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,680 I'm going to go get the plaster. 8 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:28,140 No rush. I'm a patient, patient. 9 00:01:02,890 --> 00:01:08,390 condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page. 10 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,490 The love and tradition of the grand design. 11 00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:15,170 Some people say it's been harder to find. 12 00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:22,210 Well, there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 13 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:27,090 All I see is a tower of dreams. 14 00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:37,630 Well, I want to look perfect. You know, Carl and I haven't had a romantic dinner 15 00:02:37,630 --> 00:02:38,710 date since the car administration. 16 00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:42,170 Harriet. Harriet. 17 00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:45,870 Feast your ever -loving eyes on these. 18 00:02:46,530 --> 00:02:47,890 Tickets to Les Mis. Better. 19 00:02:48,150 --> 00:02:48,869 Jenny Jackson. 20 00:02:48,870 --> 00:02:49,709 Even better. 21 00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:50,710 MC Hammer. 22 00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:58,130 No. The Blackhawks and the Penguins. 23 00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:00,630 Hockey chair. 24 00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:03,130 I couldn't pass this up. And look where we're sitting. 25 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,680 Great. We can dodge pups all night. 26 00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,100 Yeah. 27 00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:14,520 You're not going to wear that, are you? 28 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,760 Of course not. I'll just slip into something more comfortable. 29 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,900 Like a helmet and some shin guards. 30 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,080 Gee, thanks, babe. 31 00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:24,740 You won't regret it. You're going to have a great time, I promise you. 32 00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,160 Especially when they start beating each other up. 33 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,540 Hustle up, babe, okay? 34 00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:32,600 I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the world. 35 00:04:11,190 --> 00:04:12,190 cities, neighborhoods. 36 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:18,190 Now, all of these are built upon smaller social units like the family. 37 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:19,750 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 38 00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:21,190 Oh, oh, 39 00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:23,070 oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 40 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,010 Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 41 00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:25,950 Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 42 00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:26,169 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 43 00:04:26,170 --> 00:04:27,089 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 44 00:04:27,090 --> 00:04:27,549 Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 45 00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,910 Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 46 00:04:30,530 --> 00:04:34,130 Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 47 00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:35,990 Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, 48 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:38,759 oh, oh 49 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,200 is the center for all social interaction. 50 00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:50,960 And the foundation for most families is 51 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:57,880 marriage. So, oh, for the next two weeks, the class 52 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,540 will be paired off into married couples. 53 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,720 Now, you all have to figure out how to live on a budget. 54 00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:10,250 You will make decisions about jobs, homes, children. 55 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,490 And each of you will grade your partner. 56 00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:15,130 Yeah. 57 00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:18,210 Do we get to pick who we want to marry? 58 00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:21,770 Well, you should write down your top three choices, and I will do my best to 59 00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:22,770 pair everyone up. 60 00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:26,650 The names of the happy couples will be posted on the bulletin board tomorrow. 61 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,540 You cannot put the same name three times. 62 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,300 Hi, everybody. 63 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,320 Hi, honey. How you doing? Hi, honey. 64 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,000 How's your head? 65 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:03,620 How do you think it is I got hit by a hockey puck? 66 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,080 Sweetheart, that was a great stop. You deserve that standing ovation. 67 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,220 Oh, Carl, I called Shea Josephine's and we'll confirm for 8 o 'clock tonight. 68 00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,020 Oh. 69 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,940 Oh, babe, I'm sorry. I meant to call you. 70 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,960 There's been a little change in plans. 71 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,520 Now what? 72 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,240 Well, you remember Joe Hichborn, traffic control? 73 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:25,940 Shy guy couldn't get a date? 74 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,540 Yeah. Well, they switched him to hooker patrol and he's getting married this 75 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:30,540 weekend. 76 00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:32,820 Oh, my Lord. 77 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:34,440 Just a picture to bribe me. 78 00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:39,040 Well, anyway, the guys decided to throw him a little bachelor party tonight. 79 00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:40,580 Mind if I go? 80 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,440 It's up to you, Carl. 81 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:43,700 Gee, thanks, babe. 82 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,000 You are the best. 83 00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:46,340 Don't wait up. 84 00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:54,780 How could you let Carl get away with that? 85 00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:57,980 Well, what was I supposed to do? Beg him to take me to dinner? 86 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,140 Honey, Carl is my son. 87 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,840 And in my eyes, he can do no wrong. 88 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,620 But he's your husband. 89 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,520 You should have knocked him into the middle of next week. 90 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:15,280 I'd like Carla to be more romantic, but I can't force it out of him. 91 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,540 You know, he used to send me flowers for no reason at all. 92 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,880 And he'd leave me funny little notes all around the house. 93 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,460 He'd even call me three or four times a day just to say he loved me. 94 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,040 He doesn't do those things anymore. 95 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,520 Well, Harriet, doesn't that make you angry? 96 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,200 No. 97 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,120 Makes me scared. 98 00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:57,640 I caught him! For the next two blissful weeks, I am 99 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,160 Mrs. Mark Healy. Yes! 100 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,900 That's great. Who did I get, Derek or Jeff? 101 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,920 I was so excited, I forgot to look. 102 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,720 Just walking. 103 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,000 Well, sit down. You almost missed dinner. 104 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:48,900 father before we proceed. 105 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:51,620 What is it, Steve? 106 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,760 Well, Carl, call me old -fashioned, but before I marry Laura, I'd like to have 107 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:56,760 your blessing. 108 00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:03,920 Well, Steve, I appreciate that, but I wouldn't stand in your way if you two 109 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:04,920 really... 110 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,820 Could have been eight, but I didn't like the smell of that sushi. 111 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,860 I finished all the housework. You know, deep in the back of your fridge, I found 112 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:03,080 a fascinating mold specimen thriving on an ancient cheese wheel. 113 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:05,560 Go home. 114 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:08,740 Not yet. 115 00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:13,940 This is our last night of wedded bliss. 116 00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:16,380 Yeah, I've been blowing up balloons. 117 00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:40,120 You and I have pretended to be man and wife. 118 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:46,480 And now, on this, our last night, we can make each other's dreams come true. 119 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,200 With a kiss. 120 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,580 supposed to grade each other on this assignment. 121 00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,420 And right now, you're staring down the barrel of an F. 122 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:19,840 One kiss. 123 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,020 A pick on the cheek. 124 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,380 A momentary escalation. 125 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,280 Forget it. I have a headache. 126 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,740 I thought you might say that, so I came prepared. 127 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000 Aspirin, baby? 128 00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:56,000 It won't happen again. I'm prepared to wait forever if need be. In the 129 00:12:56,320 --> 00:13:00,020 I hope you'll accept this small gift as a little memento of our two glorious 130 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,020 weeks together. 131 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,820 Steve, this is really beautiful. 132 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:11,920 One -third carat diamond with one -tenth the sparkle of your lovely eyes. 133 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,600 expenses. 134 00:14:03,850 --> 00:14:10,250 loving you it's like wanting to touch a star you know you'll never reach it but 135 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,670 you've just got to keep trying 136 00:14:11,670 --> 00:14:19,790 why 137 00:14:19,790 --> 00:14:26,550 do you always say things like that these last two weeks have been wonderful for 138 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:29,170 me it's the closest i'll ever get to marrying 139 00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:34,230 No strings attached. 140 00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:35,870 Just the one to my heart. 141 00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:51,570 Is he alone? 142 00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:53,690 No, just pruning your father. 143 00:14:55,490 --> 00:14:56,490 Fern. 144 00:14:57,450 --> 00:14:58,450 Something on your mind? 145 00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:00,630 Yeah, Steve. 146 00:15:01,010 --> 00:15:02,630 Ooh, he did a good job on my... 147 00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,130 What happened? 148 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:17,450 He's smothering me. 149 00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:19,570 He sent me a room full of roses. 150 00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:23,250 He calls me every hour. He waits on me hand and foot. 151 00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:25,750 A person can only take so much devotion. 152 00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,290 You don't know how lucky you are. 153 00:15:29,150 --> 00:15:33,010 Steve may not be the man of your dreams, but it's a wonderful thing when 154 00:15:33,010 --> 00:15:34,030 somebody loves you that much. 155 00:15:49,870 --> 00:15:50,870 to admit one thing. 156 00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:53,810 Steve sure never takes you for granted. 157 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,110 I wish he would. 158 00:15:56,630 --> 00:15:57,970 I'm all urkeled out. 159 00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:02,290 Well, Steve is a pest. 160 00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:04,250 No question about that. 161 00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:06,430 But he adores you, Laura. 162 00:16:06,730 --> 00:16:07,810 And he shows it. 163 00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:11,710 You know, being romantic is a good quality for a husband to have. 164 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:27,450 Healy is selfish, conceited, and inconsiderate. 165 00:16:28,890 --> 00:16:32,210 He cheated on me with an older woman. 166 00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:36,610 I caught him at the movies with a ninth grader. 167 00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,930 So I divorced him. 168 00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:41,950 Mark, I give you an F -. 169 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:43,250 What? 170 00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:50,070 Well, we've learned that not everyone is compatible. 171 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:54,800 But I am glad to see that Maxine and Mark have resolved their differences 172 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,800 maturely. 173 00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:00,180 Jerk. 174 00:17:00,660 --> 00:17:01,660 Dweeb. 175 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,520 All right, let's move on to our last couple. 176 00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:11,300 Oh, Stephen, you may begin. 177 00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:20,280 Obviously, Lauren was the perfect wife. Brilliant mother. 178 00:17:20,829 --> 00:17:21,829 helpmate and manager. 179 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:25,510 I'll always be proud that she was the first Mrs. Urkel. 180 00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:29,150 She's an A all the way. 181 00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:32,330 Thank you. 182 00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:36,970 Laura, your grade for Stephen. 183 00:17:43,690 --> 00:17:48,830 Well, Steve is incredibly annoying. 184 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,080 You just want to slap him all the time. 185 00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:03,560 But he's also hardworking and caring. 186 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,620 He really tried to make me happy. 187 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,280 He was a good husband, and I gave him an A+. 188 00:18:47,690 --> 00:18:48,690 heard you talking to Laura. 189 00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:55,290 And what you said to her, well, it made me realize that I've been acting like a 190 00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:58,770 jerk. An idiot, a fool, an ignoramus. 191 00:18:59,110 --> 00:19:00,410 Stop me whenever you like, Harriet. 192 00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:04,130 Oh, no, you're doing fine. 193 00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:11,890 Harriet, you are the most important person in the world to me. 194 00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:14,070 And you always will be. 195 00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,030 I thank God every day that we're together. 196 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,850 But now it's time I start thanking you. 197 00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:29,330 So, Harriet, I want you to put on that beautiful new dress because we have an 8 198 00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:31,250 o 'clock reservation at Chez Josephine's. 199 00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:36,990 And, sweetheart, when you walk in there, I'd like you to wear this. 200 00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:40,910 Oh, Carl. 201 00:19:43,230 --> 00:19:44,830 It's just a little I love you present. 202 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,600 It's beautiful. 203 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,760 But, sweetheart, not as beautiful as you. 204 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,340 Ooh, sparkle city. 205 00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:09,500 I know I shouldn't ask, but how much? 206 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,240 Well, I got a good deal. 207 00:20:12,540 --> 00:20:13,860 I bought it off of Urkel. 208 00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:20,280 He tried to bargain with me, but the poor kid was overmatched. 209 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,720 He caved in at a thousand. 210 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,240 Ooh, cow. 211 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,280 That's way too much. 212 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,920 Yeah, but he threw in a little something. 213 00:20:55,790 --> 00:20:56,790 everything. 15212

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