Original subtitles

Laura, my angel. Great news.

I've got two tickets to the Greater Chicago Rocket Mineral Show.

I hear they have a fabulous gravel exhibit this year.

Thanks, but I'm busy.

I didn't say what night it is.

Thanks, but I'm busy every night.

I understand, Laura, my sweet.

There's always the boat show.

Hey!

What do you say I get us backstage passes?

Thanks, Steve.

But I'm allergic to rocks.

To read any good news on the newspaper page. Love and tradition of the grand

design. Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams.

It was my first attempt to impress my new captain.

Is it tight neatly enough? What about the spacing?

It's a police report.

They'll be happy if it doesn't have food all over it.

This would have been okay for Captain Charles, but not Captain Davenport.

He's all spit and polish.

Hey, maybe he'll be impressed if I put it in something special, like a binder

a folder or a new car.

Oh, nobody likes a kiss, huh?

How was babysitting, honey?

Those Murphy twins are a couple of wild animals. I'm getting too over this line

of work.

Laura, you're involved in too many activities.

You're right, Mom. I've been thinking it over, and I made a decision.

So you're going to cut back on babysitting?

No, I'm going to expand.

Carl, she's delirious.

You know what I mean is, I'm going to start my own babysitting service.

You're going to start your own business?

Do you have any idea of what you're doing?

Sure. I'll hire a staff of babysitters.

Book the job and take 10 % off the top. I can make 50 bucks a night without

leaving the house.

I'm going to make some business cards.

Oh, all right. Well, thanks a lot, Jeff. I had a wonderful time.

Yeah, me too, Rachel. Look, it's still early. Maybe I could come in. We could

have some coffee. No.

No, no, no, no. We don't drink coffee.

We're all too high strung. Good night.

Why didn't you invite him in?

Maybe she's embarrassed by her family.

Oh, Carl.

No. The truth is, I haven't told him about Little Richie yet.

If you like him and he likes you, why don't you just tell him you have a

I don't want to scare him off, Harriet.

Last time I told a date about Little Richie, I had to take the bus home.

Way to your mind.

is the highlight of the date.

No, sir. Captain Davenport, there is nothing that I like more than fishing.

Except, of course, working for you.

You want me to fry that or throw it back?

Harry, I finally found out a way to impress Captain Davenport.

He likes fishing.

I figure I'd take him up to the lake for the weekend, do a little fishing, a

little talking. No, wait a minute, Carl.

You got to take the man fishing to talk to him? Talk to him at the station.

Harry, you just don't know the way the world works, do you?

God, me old wise one.

I'll give you a guide.

It's for me.

It's Rebecca.

What's happening, baby?

Who?

Man.

Laura, it's for you.

I don't believe this.

Another Friday night and I'm dateless.

Is there something wrong with me?

as good looking as I was two weeks ago, right?

I still have my killer eyes, don't I?

Mom?

Judy? Eddie, get a light.

No, no, I'm sorry. We don't have any sitters available that night.

I'm sure we could accommodate you if you changed the date of the funeral.

my date tonight with Jeff to be perfect. Which dress do you like, the pink or

the red?

I love that red dress on you, Rachel.

Yes, but are you thinking like a man?

Oh, well, if I were a man, I'd love that low -cut pink dress on you.

Sure, you just want me for my body.

Harriet, Harriet, I am in. I am in, Harriet.

I can see that. Now maybe you can shut the door.

I mean, I finally got up enough courage to speak with Captain Davenport. What

did you say?

I remember the conversation word for word.

I went up to him, I said, Hey, Captain, how's it going?

And he looked me right in the eye and he said, Who are you?

This is too weird.

Now Diana's canceling too.

I need somebody to sit for the Kramer baby.

Who's left?

Nobody.

I guess I could call Steve Urkel.

recommendation for Lieutenant?

Well, I figure I'd ease into it tonight. I invited him over for dinner.

Tonight? Yeah.

His wife is out of town. It's perfect.

Isn't it?

I'm warning you, Renita. If you cancel on me, you'll never sit in this town

again.

Renita!

Renita!

The kid is back.

It's Friday night, and I got a date.

Pardon me, but you must have mistaken. for somebody who cares.

What's your problem?

All my cities have canceled.

Why is this happening?

That's easy.

Paulette Dewitt's in town giving a surprise concert.

Everyone's going.

How could all my girls be going? It's limited seating, right?

Well, if you call the 65 ,000 seats at Soldier Field Limited, yeah.

All right, don't panic.

Look, there's nothing going on here tonight, so we have to have... all to

ourselves.

I'll call the parents and have them bring the kids over here.

I know it's just you and me, Judy, but it's only 15 kids. We can handle it.

I'm all right here.

No, no, there's no problem, Ms. Park.

If you'll just drop your son off at my house, my sister and I will be delighted

to look after him.

Okay, bye.

Okay.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Look, I decided to go with the red dress. What do you think? Is the red

okay? That's black.

Right. I decided to go with the black dress.

You look beautiful, Aunt Rachel. Oh, thanks, sweetheart.

Uh, Laura, look.

Tonight's the night I tell Jeff about Little Richie, you know? So what do you

think? I mean, should I tell him right away and get it over with? Or should I

ease into it and tell him at intermission? Or should I wait and tell

dinner? Should I wait and tell him in the car? Well, that's not your problem.

Just wish me luck, honey.

I'm Rachel.

Yes? You don't want her to know you have a kid the minute he sees you, right?

Definitely not.

Then maybe you ought to leave Little Richie here.

Good point.

little Richie. Oh, but that's before I had a date.

Lord, I don't have a lot of time, so I'm going to give it to you straight.

I'm going to the concert, and you've got to work between us.

Penny, you can't do this to me. I'm your best friend.

That's why I feel so terrible about this.

Bye.

I'm out of here.

If you don't stay and help me babysit, I'm going to tell Mom and Dad about

incident that occurred at school last week.

What incident?

I don't play dumb with me.

You know what I'm talking about.

You wouldn't.

Try me.

Okay. You got me.

I'll stay.

What did he do at school?

Beats me. No, I didn't. I just took a shot.

in gourmet shops to find goose patty. Well, I heard it was his favorite.

Digging up all your...

They can sit.

Excuse me.

I don't mean to alarm anybody, but the Murphy twins are snorkeling in Mother

Winslow's waterbed.

sir. Come on in. Thank you.

How do you do?

It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Harriet. This is Winslow.

Come on in, sir. Thank you. Sit down.

Ah. A little goose?

That's it.

Oh, my favorite.

But I can't eat it. Too much cholesterol.

Had yours checked lately, Winslow?

Captain Davenport.

I hear you like to fish.

I happen to be an expert fisherman myself.

Well, seems you two have a lot to talk about.

I'll just go check on dinner.

You say something?

I hope she didn't break it. It's hard to cut through the cast.

I'll be right back, sir.

second and he'd shoot me down the brain pipe.

Well, now who's watching the other kids?

Captain Davenport.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Captain Davenport, sir, I can explain everything.

This is very embarrassing.

Wendlow, you ruined the game, man.

You like this?

Sure. I love kids.

I'm having the time of my life.

Me too, Rachel.

You're a lovely, wonderful woman.

Would you like to come in?

You're inviting me in?

This was a big breakthrough in our relationship.

Yeah.

But before we go in, there's something I have to tell

you.

I knew there was a catch.

There's someone else in my life.

You're not married, are you?

No, no.

Nothing like that.

Then what?

Well, in addition to being a lovely, wonderful woman,

I'm also a lovely, wonderful mother.

You are.

I are.

Come on, I'll introduce you.

Are those yours?

None of those are mine.

Oh, Richard.

Take a look at Richie.

The Murphy twins are out back giving each other haircuts.

This is

my child.

My only child.

Listen, Rachel, I... The only reason I didn't tell you about Richie is because

I didn't want to have to take the bus home again.

Run that by me again?

It's a long story.

It's just that I've gotten some strange reactions from men when they find out I

have a child.

I really like you, and I... I didn't want to scare you off.

Rachel.

I'm still here.

And I'd like the chance to get to know you and your son a little better.

I'd like that, too.

Is that okay with you, Richie?

That means yes.

Hey, thank you for a wonderful evening.

You're welcome, sir. And I got my eye on you for a lieutenant.

Well, I appreciate that, sir, Captain. Now, listen.

Now, we are off duty.

Call me Casper.

Are you sure the right kids went home with the right parents?

I don't know.

We have to have a talk, young lady.

I know.

My babysitting business blew up in my face.

Like the Hindenburg.

Laura, for the next few years, instead of trying to be a business tycoon, Just

be a kid.

I'll try.

But the thought of extra cash flow does funny things to me.

Well, what does the thought of losing your allowance do to you?

Straightens me right up.

Good night, honey.

Night.

Well, how do you think it went with Captain Davenport?

It's simple.

Invite the boss over, give him some dinner, throw in about 20 or 30 kids,

tie him up a little bit. He's a happy guy.

Go clean up the kitchen.