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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,180 --> 00:00:10,420 Ellen, you know, I think that we would be able to see a lot better if we waited 2 00:00:10,420 --> 00:00:13,700 and did this in the morning. Ah, yeah, right. I'll call the weather bureau and 3 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:15,600 ask them to hold off the rain till it's convenient. 4 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,100 Man, you're freaky. 5 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,920 I get that way when it rains in my bedroom. 6 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,040 I've got to fix this leak before it floods my closet again. 7 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,200 By the way, thanks again for the dry clothes. Oh, don't thank me. Thank 8 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,240 guy left them at my house. 9 00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:40,660 I think it's over here. You know, they have people that do this professionally. 10 00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:43,060 I think they're called roofers. 11 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:48,480 First page I know, but ever since El Nino hit, roofers are the new 12 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:57,280 A twister mat? 13 00:00:57,500 --> 00:01:00,780 Did you learn nothing from patching your shower with Scrabble tiles? 14 00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:05,140 It's the only tarp I had. Give me your gum. 15 00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,000 Well, then give me the rocks. 16 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,000 Okay. 17 00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:18,580 Here you go. 18 00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:23,280 Those are the rocks you brought? 19 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,080 Yeah. That's not rocks. That's large sand. 20 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,940 I got this one. 21 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,460 All right. I'll put it right there. Okay. 22 00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:34,380 There. Oh, wind. 23 00:01:46,730 --> 00:01:47,730 All right. That's it. 24 00:01:48,470 --> 00:01:49,470 Okay. 25 00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:51,750 Rachel, can you please help me? 26 00:01:52,610 --> 00:01:57,610 Right. Help. I'll let your right hand on green. All right. All right. 27 00:01:57,990 --> 00:01:58,990 Ah! 28 00:02:00,150 --> 00:02:01,150 Oh, my hair. 29 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:04,250 Okay. 30 00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:06,870 All right. 31 00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:09,330 Now I see why Billy Thompson liked to play this game. 32 00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:19,820 Hi, too. Those people over there. 33 00:02:22,780 --> 00:02:23,780 All right. 34 00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:35,200 Hi. Yes, I need to check on an order. 35 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:38,660 Please, please don't transfer me. I have talked to four people. I've talked to 36 00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:40,760 Marcus, Julie, Frank, Sandra. 37 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,400 Yes, Sandra seems very nice. 38 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,280 I'm sure she likes you. Anyway, about my order. 39 00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:51,140 Well, I don't know. I couldn't really tell whether she likes you like she... 40 00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:54,440 Please, please, please don't trans... Hi, Sandra. 41 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,160 Yes, I'll hold. 42 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:04,980 Hi. Hey, what's going on? 43 00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:08,560 Joe's birthday gift hasn't gotten here yet. I'm trying to track it down. 44 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:09,880 You bought him a present? 45 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,660 I was just going to give him a kiss and lean into him a little. 46 00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:19,430 I thought I'd get him something sentimental. 47 00:03:20,550 --> 00:03:23,750 Yes, hi. Um, yeah, the item number is 4089. 48 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,690 Yes, the blow -up Betsy inflatable fun doll. 49 00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:32,650 No, I won't be needing the patch kit. 50 00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:37,390 While you got him, I need a new riding crop. 51 00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:45,370 You know, I thought getting Joe an inflatable doll would be a fun gag gift, 52 00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:46,390 this is turning into a nightmare. 53 00:03:47,550 --> 00:03:48,550 Yeah, what? 54 00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:54,610 It should have been delivered in today's mail. Well, I didn't get it. That's 857 55 00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:56,470 Citrus Way. I live at 859. 56 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,190 You delivered it to my neighbors. 57 00:04:01,010 --> 00:04:03,050 But you don't understand. I need that doll. 58 00:04:05,850 --> 00:04:06,850 Ha, ha, ha. 59 00:04:08,930 --> 00:04:10,930 Great. Joe's party is two days away. 60 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:14,090 I know that people don't like to walk in L .A., but they did just deliver it 61 00:04:14,090 --> 00:04:15,090 right next door. 62 00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:18,399 I can't go over there. Ding dong, hi. 63 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:21,779 Hello, excuse me, can I get my blow -up Betsy doll back from you, please? 64 00:04:22,620 --> 00:04:25,680 They already think I'm crazy. They keep catching me in these weird situations, 65 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:29,840 you and me on the roof the other day, and then there was the poodle incident. 66 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,460 You have a poodle? 67 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,720 That's adorable. 68 00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:34,860 How'd you kill it? 69 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,380 Gigi is perfectly healthy. 70 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,440 She just hates my guts, that's all. 71 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:41,960 We just got off on the wrong foot. 72 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,080 But I still say, whoever wins tug -of -war should get to keep the chew toy. 73 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,720 Here's what I don't get. 74 00:04:51,780 --> 00:04:53,560 Why do you care what these people think about you anyway? 75 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,840 I'll tell you why I care. They have parties all the time, fun -looking 76 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,000 and they invite other people from the block, but they never invite me. 77 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,000 And I want to go. 78 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,660 But now, if they think I'm buying sex toys, they'll never invite me. Or if 79 00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:05,660 do invite me, I won't go now. 80 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,260 You know, I think they're going to know that it's your package as soon as they 81 00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:12,260 see your name on it. 82 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,660 I'm just going to go get it. 83 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,920 I'll just go ask for it. You know? I mean, what am I worried about? There's 84 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:23,920 nothing to be embarrassed about. 85 00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:27,340 I'll just go. I'll be a mature adult and I'll just get the package. 86 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:33,260 I'm just going to drink a few beers first. 87 00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:09,710 Gigi. 88 00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:14,610 Gigi. No, shh. Quiet, doggie. Shh. 89 00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:17,530 Gigi. No. Come on. Hush. 90 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:18,810 Hush. Hush, puppy. 91 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,300 Your neighbors think you're crazy. What's so bad about that? I got a crazy 92 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,300 neighbor. I'm okay with it. 93 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:16,180 Paige, just because a guy has a telescope and he doesn't point at your 94 00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:17,300 window doesn't mean he's crazy. 95 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,120 I just want the Patels to like me, that's all. 96 00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:24,820 So you went out and bought them a gift basket the size of a Lexus? 97 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,140 I didn't buy it. It's an old hamper that's been laying around. I've been 98 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:31,260 to use it for something like this. 99 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:32,960 It's just a little too big. 100 00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:36,100 It's going to look like I bought them a gift basket and kept half the stuff 101 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,100 myself. 102 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:41,490 Oh, that's thoughtful. 103 00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:43,570 Wine and breakfast cereal. 104 00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:46,270 Are you going to mock me or help me? 105 00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:47,590 Don't make me choose. 106 00:07:51,030 --> 00:07:52,030 Here. 107 00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:53,370 Keep one for breakfast. 108 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,280 Still, there's a little... Ah. 109 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:31,220 Yep. 110 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,000 Appliances say, hello, neighbor. 111 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:45,760 Now, there we go. I'll bring this over to them and show them I'm not the crazy 112 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:46,760 person they think I am. 113 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,360 It still looks a little empty. 114 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,569 Oh, that's all right. 115 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:53,690 On my way over, I'll pick some avocados off that tree in their yard. 116 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:33,260 basket, and I put that together. That doorbell, that lasts a long time. 117 00:09:35,820 --> 00:09:41,020 But anyway, I got you some avocado branch. 118 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,180 I was going to get you avocados, but they didn't come with the branch. And a 119 00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:48,340 blender. I want you to make guacamole, but maybe you can just make splinters. 120 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:56,440 There. Anyway, I just thought it'd be nice to come over and meet you. 121 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,720 In person, because, you know, you probably think I'm kooky. You've seen 122 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,160 know, different places, and I just want you to see up close that I'm just like 123 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,160 you. 124 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:06,520 Thank you. Yeah. 125 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:10,080 Well, okay. 126 00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:16,400 So enjoy, and maybe you can come over so I can come visit or something. 127 00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:18,320 And thank you very much. 128 00:10:32,910 --> 00:10:34,550 Oh, the Patels are having another party. 129 00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:39,350 Fancy dress -up party this time. 130 00:10:40,650 --> 00:10:42,330 They even invited old man Harper. 131 00:10:42,970 --> 00:10:44,270 He's crazier than I am. 132 00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:47,590 Look at him out there talking to himself. 133 00:10:54,090 --> 00:10:55,090 What are you doing? 134 00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:58,790 Watching people who aren't me go to the Patels for another party. 135 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:02,490 Oh, one of their guests parked a little too close to that hydrant. 136 00:11:02,890 --> 00:11:04,530 Where's that potholder with the mayor's phone number on it? 137 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,550 Ellen, will you forget about them? We have a shindig of our own to go to. 138 00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:12,750 I know, but all my friends will be there. I want to go someplace I'm not 139 00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:16,170 Get over this. What do you think of my costume? 140 00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:20,150 I thought we were supposed to go dressed as Joe's favorite foods. 141 00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:22,890 Not his other weakness, superstars of Swiss porn. 142 00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:26,150 I'm the same Polly girl. 143 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:35,640 That's great. 144 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,680 I wonder if they're serving curry. 145 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,300 I hate curry. 146 00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:44,500 But maybe not the way Mrs. Patel makes it. 147 00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:48,900 All right, you know, Ellen, you're freaking. You've got to get over this. 148 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:49,900 put on your costume. 149 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:51,620 All right, what'd you bring me to wear? 150 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,660 Here's the hat. 151 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,340 Please tell me the bottom part is a tasteful pantsuit. 152 00:12:15,050 --> 00:12:17,210 dignity, but I'm pretty sure it's gone for good. 153 00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,270 You look cute. 154 00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:22,690 No, you look cute. I look like the San Diego Chicken's weird aunt nobody talks 155 00:12:22,690 --> 00:12:23,690 about. 156 00:12:24,570 --> 00:12:25,570 Let's go. 157 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:29,350 This is worse than second grade when I played plaque in the dental hygiene 158 00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:30,350 pageant. 159 00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:33,870 You know, for an animal with no lips, you do a lot of complaining. 160 00:12:34,890 --> 00:12:35,890 Where's your present? 161 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,510 Oh, I forgot it. I left it on the table. 162 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:44,580 Right next to my keys. 163 00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:46,260 Oh, no. 164 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,860 Do you still have that emergency key I gave you? Oh, yeah. Great. It's at home 165 00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:50,940 in my emergency key drawer. 166 00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:55,860 Not to worry. I have a spare key that I keep in a hollow rock. 167 00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:58,000 What? Yeah. 168 00:12:58,420 --> 00:12:59,540 Where did I put that thing? 169 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:18,600 Kind of a charcoal gray that looks a little bit like a rock. 170 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,880 Yes, have you seen it? Sure. The other day, I brought it up to you on the roof. 171 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:26,000 I didn't know that it had a key in it. 172 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,200 Of course not. 173 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:30,240 None of the other rocks had keys in it. Why would you suspect the one with the 174 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:31,240 price tag on the bottom? 175 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,040 Listen, I am not taking the blame for this. You should have your keys on you. 176 00:13:35,140 --> 00:13:36,140 Where? I'm a chicken! 177 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,920 If Joe ate kangaroo, we wouldn't be in this mess. 178 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,980 It's not such a tragedy. Just climb up on the roof and get it. Well, why don't 179 00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:46,900 you just climb up on the roof and get it? I can't climb up on the roof in 180 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:48,600 Well, I'll loan you some underwear. 181 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,600 You have another rock with underwear in it? 182 00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:57,160 Listen, I am already late picking up the cake. The bakery closes in ten minutes. 183 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:02,820 Fine, fine. Go ahead. I'll catch up to you. Are you going to be okay driving? 184 00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:04,140 You know, it's all the way across town. 185 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:08,660 Please, Paige, if there's one thing I can do, it's get to the other side. 186 00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:33,910 Oh, gee, gee, sweet little doggie. 187 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:39,830 Grateful French poodle. 188 00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:43,490 Our American poodle saved your butts in WWII. 189 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,040 Startle you. 190 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,840 That's very good. That looks delicious. 191 00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:06,040 Delicious -looking hors d 'oeuvres. One of my favorite things is hors d 192 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,040 'oeuvres. 193 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,520 Mmm. 194 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,540 It tastes like me. 195 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:13,839 Miss Morgan? 196 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,040 What are you doing here? 197 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,119 What am I doing here? 198 00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:22,079 I think the question is, what am I doing here in a chicken costume? Ask yourself 199 00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:26,940 that. Don't bother. I'll tell you. But the point is, I was outside of my house. 200 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:27,769 I got locked out. 201 00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:31,590 And so, naturally, I went onto the roof because I keep my key in a rock. So I 202 00:17:31,590 --> 00:17:34,290 get up on the roof, and then, boom, the ladder falls down. And being a 203 00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:36,970 flightless bird... Please leave. 204 00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:38,310 All righty. 205 00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:45,530 I will leave, but I just have to tell you that... I mean, maybe we got off to 206 00:17:45,530 --> 00:17:49,250 weird start here, but, you know, you haven't been very friendly. 207 00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:52,150 I've tried to be friendly. 208 00:17:52,450 --> 00:17:53,450 I brought you the... 209 00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:56,550 blender and the toilet paper, and I've tried, and then you have all these 210 00:17:56,550 --> 00:18:00,350 parties and you don't invite me, you know, and you invite other people on the 211 00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:01,350 block. 212 00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:02,570 Hello, Mrs. Jones. 213 00:18:02,870 --> 00:18:04,870 You know, I mean, why am I not invited? 214 00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:07,070 I'm fun, if you ask anybody. 215 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,670 Fun, fun, fun. 216 00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:10,610 But do you invite me? No. 217 00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:14,510 You know, and this party looks like it could use a little bit of livening up if 218 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:15,510 you ask me. 219 00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:16,529 You know? 220 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:19,910 I mean, look at all of you, just standing around with your dark suits and 221 00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:22,430 grim faces, like a bunch of stiffs. 222 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,200 I'll be awake for my grandmother. 223 00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:45,519 I'm sorry. 224 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:49,680 But that's good, because if you, you know, if you weren't having a wake, it 225 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,760 just a party, you know, and you have this... Well, 226 00:18:54,980 --> 00:19:01,560 excuse me, I've got to go. I need to get going. I've got a party to go to, so... 227 00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:08,640 Actually, for a wake, this is rocking. 228 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,820 Hey, a few more minutes on these, I'll give you that layered look you've been 229 00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:23,820 talking about. 230 00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:26,700 Glad you finally made it to Joe's party last night. 231 00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:31,180 Yeah, it was nice. You know, although I expected a nicer buffet or something 232 00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:33,900 like that, not just a variety of cold cuts taped to Joe's body. 233 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,140 There was a whole spread in the kitchen. 234 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:39,500 Oh. 235 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,600 Hey, things going any better with you and your neighbors? 236 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,260 Yes. I went over and I talked to them. I explained the whole thing. I said, it's 237 00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:50,500 just a whole series of silly coincidences. 238 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,900 They didn't seem to buy that, so I told them I drink a lot. 239 00:19:57,380 --> 00:19:58,380 Damn bees. 240 00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:00,720 This is why I don't go outside. 18495

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