All language subtitles for Ellen s05e03 Roommates

We have everything we need to cook
dinner? We have sauce and spaghetti and

think I have water at home.

Hello.

Hello.

Somebody just got off the boat from
Kansas.

Hi.

Hi.

Wow, they're friendly here, huh?

What, can't say hello?

Hey, you guys.

Well,

Ellen, I guess it's no surprise to see
you here.

Yeah, since I stopped hunting, I have to
grocery shop a lot more often.

Come on, Ellen.

You can buy plums anywhere, but at
Rogers Market, the special is dates.

What? This is where the gay community
comes to schmooze and cruise.

And where you might just find your own
very special lady.

Well, no, I'm just here to pick up
groceries. The only lady I'm taking home

Aunt Jemima.

In case you change your mind, let us
fill you in on the code.

All right.

All the clues are in your cart. Small
cans mean the person is single. Cooking

for one. Right. And large cans mean a
committed relationship.

Or an eating disorder.

Either way, it's trouble.

Now, if you want to meet someone, you
accidentally bump their cart.

Uh -oh.

Malomars and Stoli.

Someone's nursing the wounds of a love
gone wrong.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

You know what? If you need me, I'll be
in the makeup aisle. I'll be the one

without the Adam's apple.

That's a good one, Paige.

Okay, well, thanks for your tips on the
code and everything, but I'm not going

to bring home anything that doesn't fit
in this basket.

Well... Don't go looking for a gymnast,
Audrey.

Suit yourself.

Come on, Audrey.

Oh, remind me to buy confetti. I realize
this morning I'm all out.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Don't I know you? No, that was an
innocent bump. I swear.

You live on Citrus, right?

Yeah. I live right across the street. In
the brown house?

That's funny. I was just yelling at a
squirrel. It was in your yard the other

day, digging up some flowers. Get away!

You know, so that was me. I'm Ellen. I'm
Erin.

Ellen, this is Dina, my roommate. Hi.
Hi.

Hi. We're neighbors, right?

Yes. Yeah, I've seen you watering your
lawn. You get up pretty early. Yeah,

well, that's because I use my neighbor's
hose.

Nice to meet you. You too. All right,
well, catch you in the hood.

Ellen,

don't waste your time. Two women, one
part.

No, they just said they were roommates.

Oh, Ellen.

Ellen. Ellen.

Don't tell me another code.

You're catching on. Roommate means the
same as partner or companion or friend.

Friend? Really?

Wow. How come the Baptists aren't
boycotting that show Friends?

Hi, Ellie.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

I hope we're not interrupting anything.

No, the stewardess has just left.

I thought you were all coming by
yesterday.

Oh, well, we did, but then we saw an El
Camino parked out front, and we thought

we'd better come another time.

Ellie, we finally picked out your
housewarming gift. Huh?

Long darts.

Kids love them.

You know what they love more is that fun
ride in the ambulance.

You know, they're illegal. Your father
had to get them through the black

I felt just like the guest villain on
Barnaby Jones.

Hey, Uncle Harold. How's life at the
hospital?

Got a raise?

Yeah. I guess this is as good a time as
any.

Al, I'm going to start looking for a
place of my own. You're not moving out.

You're moving out?

Oh, this will be tough on us, I know.
But probably the quicker you get out,

easier it will be for us, huh?

I guess having your cousin around kind
of cramped her style.

No, no, no, it hasn't. It's prevented me
from developing one.

I'll see you guys later. Okay, bye.

No hurry, but there are boxes in the
garage.

Now, honey, aren't you just a little
nervous being in this big house all by

yourself? No, I've got pepper spray.

Actually, it's a pepper mill, but, you
know, anybody tries to mess with me,

Gesundheit, baby.

Hey, come on, Lois, let's break in those
lawn darts. Okay, but underhand only.

Remember, that's how we almost lost
Grandpa.

Hi. Hi. We thought it'd be nice if we
came over and officially welcomed you to

the neighborhood.

You're right. That is nice. Well, you
know, we know how hard it is when you

first move into a new place to meet
people, so... Here you go. Oh, so you're

saying it's easier if I get drunk?

Hi. Hi.

We live across the street. Oh, hi. This
is Dina and Aaron. These are my parents,

Harold and Lois. And from this point on,
know that anything they say, they mean

well.

So you're roommates, then?

Yeah. Yeah, they're, uh...

They're roommates.

It must be so nice to have someone to
come home to. Yeah, Ellie, you should

yourself a roommate.

Yeah, maybe I'll go to a roommate bar
and try to get one.

You know, we have a friend we should
introduce you to. Are you thinking...

Sherry. That would be perfect.

Yeah, I think you two would hit it off.
She's nice, easygoing, funny.

Sherry Belafonte? Are you talking about
Sherry Belafonte?

Would you like to meet her? Oh, yes, she
would. She'd love to. You know, she's

coming over to our place tomorrow at
about 7. She could just pop over here

afterwards. Oh, that'd be perfect.
Great, we'll set it up if that's okay.

Is it all right with you?

Is it my turn?

No.

Yeah, sure, I guess that's fine.

Hey, do you all want to come in?

Oh, no, thank you.

We're going to go to kickboxing.

Well, that's what I was going to invite
you in for.

Bye.

Bye -bye.

Thanks for the wine.

Honey, isn't this wonderful? A roommate.
And you know, if this works out, you

might want to even have two roommates.
Wouldn't that be fun?

Yeah, that'd be more than fun. That'd be
an adult film.

When they said roommate, they meant more
like the odd couple, like Oscar and

Felix, if they were women and doing it.

You just set me up on a date.

Oh, I see.

What did it mean when they said
kickboxing?

She's going to be here any minute. You
better get dressed.

I am dressed.

Oh, Ellen, save some of that wit for
your lady friend.

Ellen, I know you haven't been working
and you're too proud to ask, but would

you like to buy some of my clothing?

I'm dressed.

This is what it looks like when I'm
dressed. When I'm naked, I don't have as

many pockets.

Honey, those are not day clothes.

Honey, this is a casual thing.

She's going to come in. We're going to
say hi. We'll exchange information. I'll

offer her a drink and some crackers.
She'd get the same treatment if she were

donating blood.

Ellen, blind dates are delicate. It is
all about first impressions.

This is the time to pull out the big
guns.

I remember my first date with Louis,
that actor from the Shakespeare

To set the mood, I hired a troupe of
minstrels to serenade us with an

Elizabethan version of Louie Louie.

You know, I was thinking about doing
something like that, too, and then I

remembered I'm not insane.

Well, my work here is done.

Good luck with your Chevy Amour.

Okay, and good luck with your Chevy
Vega.

Stop, please.

Okay, if you're going to wear this, at
least unbutton one button. Forget it.

Listen to me, okay?

This is the first date button, and this
is the second date button. Although, if

things are going well, this could be the
first date button. You never can tell.

Why don't I just borrow your Velcro
pants?

You know, I really wish that you would
let me help you out with this.

It feels like you have this whole new
life, and you're just squeezing me out

it. It is not a whole new life. It is
the same old life.

No, something's changed.

I mean, you're always hanging out with
Peter and Barrett doing the gay thing.

No, Peter and Barrett do the gay thing.
I hang out with them before or after.

Paige, this is crazy. I am exactly the
same person that I was before I revealed

my whole life has been a sham.

Maybe you don't notice it, but you have
changed.

Really? Okay.

How? Tell me one way I've changed. Well,
you have strange women coming to your

house. No, that's not true. Audrey has
been here a thousand times.

Oh, that's her. I'll sneak out the back.
No, come on. Stay. Hang out. Come on.

You're my best friend. She's a stranger.
Please, have a drink with us.

You really want me to?

Yes, yes. And if things go well, I'll
send you out for ice.

Well, she knows how to push buttons.

Oh, I always hoped I'd meet a girl just
like Mom.

Hi, I'm Sherry.

Oh, that's right. Dina and Aaron said
you were going to come by. I totally

forgot.

I should have changed, but... Hi, I'm
Ellen, and this is my friend Paige.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Dina and Aaron said that you were great.

Oh, just a first impression.

Love your house.

It's so comfy.

Well, I'm having a lot of fun fixing it
up. Well, paying people to fix it up,

but they seem like they're having a lot
of fun. You know, singing the railroad

songs when they work and everything.

Feel free to look around.

Looks like someone's into music as much
as I am. Well, what can I say? I'm a

slave to the rhythm.

Actually, I gave her a lot of those CDs.

Really? Al Green, Radiohead, Christopher
Cross.

That one she bought. Yeah, I belong to a
CD club. It was sent by mistake. No, I

love Christopher Cross. Me too. I saw
him at the Hollywood Bowl in 12th grade.

It was so cool when he bit the head off
that bat.

I actually took Ellen to one of her
first concerts. Remember that? Those

the days, huh? Oh, yeah.

It wasn't that good of a concert,
though. It was Tony Randall and Don.

Aaron said you were funny.

For me, that is the most important.

Quality in a person. Well, yeah, that
and a kick -ass set of wheels.

Do you want some wine?

Oh, yeah, that's thoughtful, sure. Okay.

Well, you guys obviously have a lot to
talk about, so I'll just... I'll take

off. Okay. I thought you were going to
hang out.

No, no, I'm... If I don't use my credit
card every six hours, the bank gets a

little nervous.

So, uh, it was nice meeting you.

She's great, you know?

Huh. Well, why don't you leave through
the kitchen? That way I can return that

sweet potato you lent me.

I'll be right out, okay? All right,
thanks.

Now what's wrong?

You know what? This is not your problem.
It's me. It's all me.

I can't help it. I get uncomfortable
around you when you are talking with

that way.

What way?

You know what way. You know the winks
and the vibes back and forth, all the

little signals.

Oh, see, you totally misread that. I
just wanted her to bunt.

I'll send Sherry home so we can talk,
all right?

No, no, that's okay. I don't want to
spoil your evening with your girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend. I just met her.

Fine, roommate, partner, whatever you
girls call yourselves.

The point is, I'm in the way.

I mean, it's obvious that this girl is
really into you, and I'm sorry, but it

hard for me to watch.

Watch? Watch what? Watch me make a new
friend?

You know, I would like to think that you
would be happy for me. It would be nice

for me to have, like, one gay woman
friend.

Ellen, you know that's not what this is.

I'll be right out. How you doing? Okay?
All right.

Look, she's just a woman I am meeting
for the first time.

Nothing is going to happen. I have never
been the kind of person that would just

jump into bed with someone, and being
gay has not changed that.

And I really hope that you get past this
soon, because this is causing big

problems for us.

Yeah, I hope so, too.

Hey. Hi, I'm Sherry. Hi, Sherry. I'm
Spence.

So, who are you?

I'm sorry. I'm meeting Ellen about
renting a room. My friends across the

told me that she was looking for a
roommate. Oh, roommate.

I thought she wanted to live alone.

Oh, I hope not.

I'm a massage therapist, and this would
be a great house to work out of. I was

living with my boyfriend, but then we
had this really ugly breakup, so...

my advice is to lay on the charm. Yeah,
you're only shot as if you really

connect with her. Oh. Or if you're her
cousin.

Thanks, I'll work on that. Oh, hey.

I'm also looking for a new boyfriend if
you know of anybody who isn't a lying,

cheating pig.

Might want to do a little healing first.

Well, I'd better get back out there. Any
longer, she'll expect a pot roast.

You all right?

No, but go ahead.

Finish your wine. I'll call you later.

Is that wine?

I was about to come in there and help
you stomp the grapes.

Yeah, no, I wasn't making it.

Are you okay?

No, I, uh, yeah. I mean, I'm just... You
ever feel like when you finally get

comfortable with who you are, your
friends decide that's not who they want

to be?

Maybe you need a new friend.

Maybe.

I don't know. I'm just a little on edge.

Oh, I can fix that. Let me rub your
neck.

I'm an expert.

Oh, no, not necessary.

No, I like being on edge. It's what kept
me alive and now.

Come on, it'll feel great.

The last person who told me that was
trying to sell me a thong.

Ooh, okay, yeah.

Yeah, I see what you mean. I'm certainly
relaxed now.

Shh, shh, shh. No talking.

Come on, loosen up.

I'm loose. What are you kidding? I'm
loose as a goose. Or any other kind of

animal that might be loose, like a
boneless chicken.

You know what? These lights aren't
helping any. Let me set the mood.

Oh, that's where all the trouble starts
on those after -school specials.

So, where were we? Well, I was thinking
we were thirsty, so why don't we have

that wine after all, huh? Okay,
absolutely, but you should know

goes straight to my head. Oh, maybe you
have too much then.

Oh, this is so good.

Isn't it good? It's like eating a grape
and kissing an alcoholic.

You know, I gotta tell you, Ellen, being
here with you feels so comfortable.

Good. We should drink a toast.

Okay, to comfortable things, like
personal space and those tissues with

on them.

I really like you, Ellen. Well, I like
you too, Sherry.

So, I guess this means that we're going
to do this.

That depends on how much more of this
you had in mind.

It's obvious that you and I would work
out fine.

As long as there's no problem with the
bedroom.

Remember that comfortable feeling we
were talking about a minute ago?

Well, it's just that I need to know now
because I have an appointment with

another woman later tonight.

I bet you had a nickname in high school.

I don't mean to be pushy, but I want to
move in right away.

Excuse me?

Yeah, I can give you first, last, and a
cleaning deposit.

Oh, and you would do that because you
would be my roommate.

Yeah, I love this neighborhood. I was
going to move in with Dean and Aaron,

Aaron's boyfriend decided to move in, so
this would be the next best thing.

What do you think?

You know, I try not to think that much
because it gets in the way of my doing

senseless acts of beauty.

Please say yes.

Oh, boy, there's been a terrible
misunderstanding. I don't want you to

Why not?

That's the whole thing about
misunderstandings, is that you can't

Look, I can't let you move in because,
well,

because she's my girlfriend.

Paige, I couldn't leave.

I'm sorry that I was spying, but...

I cannot share you with another woman.

Darling.

You can't?

No, I've been thinking a lot about us,
and I realize that I've been unfair to

you.

Good, I'm glad you finally realized
that.

Yeah, I've been so stupid. I'm the one
who needs to change.

Okay, so you'll accept me for who I am?

Yeah.

Can you forgive me?

I don't know.

The heart is such a fragile organ.

Think back.

We were friends long before we were...

lovers.

I know how difficult that word is for
you to say.

But how I long to hear it. Please say it
again, Paige.

No.

Please, please, for me. It hurts too
much. Oh.

It's almost as if I'm hearing it for the
first time.

Okay. Lovers. That's what you want me to
say, right?

Lovers!

I love you, damn it.

Oh, Paige, you wild, impetuous fool.

But when you said friend, you meant
friend.

Yes, yes, yes. I know how confusing it
can be. You wouldn't believe how often

people make that same mistake.

I'm sorry, Sherry.

As you can see, Ellen and I are deeply,
deeply in love.

Stop.

Yeah, we got it bad and that ain't good.

So I guess you say I won't be needing a
roommate after all. Oh, please. Geez, I

understand. I mean, it's obvious. You
two belong together. Hey, honey, I

see you come in.

So,

when are you moving in?

Actually, um, I gotta go.

Let the three of you do whatever it is
that you do.

Bye.

Was that your tongue?