All language subtitles for Ellen s04e11 Bowl, Baby, Bowl

Well, the first time I was with a man,
and then

I was with a woman for a little while,
and then I was with a man again, and

another man, and let's see, then woman,
woman, man, woman,

and then another man.

You know, lately I'm beginning to think
it doesn't really matter if it's a man

or a woman, you know? It's the person
that counts.

But one thing I know for sure, I can't
keep going from therapist to therapist

like this.

Jeremy and I are challenging Jim on the
group.

Hey, everybody.

Give it up for Doc Kovac.

Hey! It's our resident resident and his
spiffy new scrubs. Our very own poor

man's George Clooney.

I just finished my first 24 -hour shift
as a resident.

Man, am I pumped. Give it up for the man
who just saved some lives. All right,

give it up for a lady who just changed
her register tape.

I'm meeting Paige here in a few minutes.
I haven't seen her in a week.

We decided since the bookstore is
halfway between the hospital and our

we'd meet here. Oh, that is so romantic.

You're like two ships passing in the
night, two hearts, two exciting careers.

Too bad you had to meet here.

What did we win?

Oh, just the Palisades under eight.

Mighty Mike girls regional quarterfinal
soccer. That's all. Oh, that's all? We

won all that?

I got a goal.

And Daddy got arrested.

I did not get arrested.

I just got a warning and a penalty. And,
well, they said next time, yeah, I

might get arrested.

Well, I wouldn't be too worried. I hear
that soccer dads pretty much run the

prison yard.

I am just so proud of you knuckleheads.
If you weren't such rough, tough soccer

players, I'd give you each a big kiss.

Come on, come on, you. Oh, Daddy, you're
silly.

Oh, man, I gotta go.

Another 15 -hour shift. Tell Paige I am
sorry.

I just hope I can hold that scalpel
steady.

Why can't I have been a malpractice
attorney like my mother wanted me to?

What are you doing here, Ellen?

Honey, I manage the bookstore.

Look at me, Daddy. I'm managing the
bookstore.

again. Oh, well, it wouldn't be game day
if Daddy didn't get into trouble with

the law.

How'd that ultrasound go? Did they find
out what you're having?

No, we really don't care if it's a boy
or a girl, as long as it's a goalie. Oh.

I think that's every parent's wish.

So, Ellen, we'll see you at the house
for Sunday dinner? Yes, I'm looking

forward to it. Can I bring anything?

Uh, well, let's see. I can't drink wine.

I can't eat chocolate. I can't have
coffee.

Oh, I gotta return a bottle of chocolate
coffee wine.

Bring it.

We'll serve it to Ed's mom when she
comes to visit.

So, girls, we should let Ellen get back
to work. Listen, should we go straight

home or stop for ice cream? Ice cream!
Ice cream!

Great. How's Ben and Jerry sound,
everybody?

Scoop!

You take my band. Not you.

See you Sunday, Ellen. All right, bye.

Look forward to it. Bye, girls. See you
later, sweet pea.

Ellen,

Joe, Audrey, can I talk to you guys for
a second? We sure, sweet pea.

I just want to say that everyone's been
doing a really good job lately, and your

efforts will not go unrewarded.

I'm taking everyone bowling tonight.

Is it too late for our efforts to go
unrewarded?

I used to love bowling. I was a pretty
fair bowler myself.

I mean, they used to call me Pretty Fair
Bowlin' Ellen.

I didn't run with a very imaginative
crowd.

I gotta warn you, I've won some
tournaments.

I gotta warn you, I've loved a lot of
women.

What has that got to do with anything?

I thought we were bragging.

Hey, long time no see, stranger.

How are things going on the set of
Elevator 3?

We're having script problems again.

Oh, boy. It must be really tough to
preserve the integrity of elevators one

two.

Tell me about it.

Where's Spence? He's supposed to meet me
here. I know. He just got paid. He had

to go back on another 15 -hour thing at
the hospital. Oh, this is getting

ridiculous.

I'm always at the set, and he's always
at that stupid hospital.

It's so unfair, isn't it? I mean, sick
people can be so inconsiderate.

Over their dumb heart attacks and stupid
late -night operations ruining your

whole night.

And yet when I say these things, Spence
gets upset with me.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I
can.

Way to go, Audrey.

Four.

Boy, I thought my three was good.

Okay, Rolling Thunder.

Do your magic.

All right, Ellen, you're up.

All right.

Purple house ball.

Ain't no prisoners.

Keep your wrist straight.

Point the back of your hand right toward
those pins.

Okay. And now, do I let go of the ball
or do I go with it? I'm just trying to

help.

Whoa!

How was that? Was that okay?

I get a strike, I win.

Come on, swirly purple ball.

the guy that gets these after me.

Morning, Mr. B.

Morning, Ed. Hey, thanks for the bowling
last night. It was really fun. All

right, Joe, that's it.

One more wisecrack out of you and you're
out of here.

And Audrey, whatever it is you're doing,
do it in a less annoying way.

You know what I think the secret to
bowling is?

Being at one with the ball.

I believe it was the great Dalai Lama
who said, you set some up, you knock

down, you wins the game.

Yes, you're very good. Excuse me.

Oh, Ellen. Yeah.

Almost forgot.

You got to work tomorrow.

What?

I told you a month ago that I needed
Saturday off. Hey, if it was up to me, I

wouldn't have you come in.

It is up to you.

Yeah, well, I stand corrected.

What is with him?

Well, let's recap.

We closed last night. We went bowling.
You emasculated Ed.

We opened this morning.

I can't think of anything.

Yeah, 36 straight hours in the ER.
Remind me again why I decided to return

medicine. Well, because hanging out on
my couch and painting Paige's toenails

isn't really a career.

You literally don't even get a break in
the ER. You don't. I mean, it's an

endless stream of patients.

Bring them in, sew them up, turn them
out. Raw hide.

Yeah!

Spence, let me ask you a question. If I
beat you in bowling, would you be mad? I

hate bowling. Well, let's just say you
liked it.

I like handball. Can we make it
handball? Okay, let's handball. Say I

in handball. I haven't played handball
in a while. Let's make it racquetball.

Okay. I don't like racquetball.

Ed, you're not mad at me because I beat
you in bowling, are you?

Ellen, I was captain of my high school
football team.

I led it in wrestling.

I served my country with honor in
Grenada.

Look, I think my ego is just a little
stronger than that, huh? Okay, so you

admit it would be pathetic for someone
who lost a game to take it out on their

co -workers.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and anybody who did that would be
a big baby and a jerk.

Oh, absolutely.

Okay, good. Well, then I'll see you
Sunday for dinner. Okay, you bet. Okay.

Oh, Ellen.

You do play pool, don't you?

Spencer yet?

Uh, no, I found a post -it in the sink.
Either he's going to be late or he went

to get a latte.

I am making him breakfast.

I didn't want to meet him in a
restaurant yet. I haven't seen him in so

didn't even want to share him with a
waitress. Oh, boy, that would require a

huge dip.

So, is Ed still mad about you beating
him at bowling? Yes.

And now he's challenged me to a stupid
game of pool. He's being such a... It's

baby. No, Ellen, he's a man.

And men hate to lose, especially to a
woman.

Just, you know, do something to make him
feel more manly again.

Like what, ask him to open a jar?

Start.

Oh, I know. This is a good one.

Ask him to set your VCR.

Hey, baby.

Hi. So happy to see you. Come here.

I'll be right there. I gotta go.

Me too.

This was a great idea. Yes, indeed. So,
uh, tomorrow same time? Oh, perfect.

You want to lag for a break?

No, it is your house. You may break.

Oh, boy. That is a shame. So many balls
in so many different directions. Not one

of them went in.

So it's open, and it will be stripes,
and I will go for a stripe, which

will go in.

All righty.

Boy, those tortoises must have been
something to hunt. That's an exciting

Once turtles get out in the open, you
can barely keep up with them.

Yeah,

that's exciting. And it looks nice next
to the dead fish, too. Did you design

that yourself, or did you consult
Endangered Species Digest?

Another strike for me.

Let's do this one.

And come back around.

This is just set up perfectly.

Oh, another dead deer. Boy, I work with
your brother.

Very, very much like you. Very quiet.

Nice cozy house you have here. Very
cozy. Nothing says come, said have a

like slaughtered mammals.

Damn.

Well, Ellen, you might as well put Mr.

Big Stick to bed.

Miss Big Stick.

Good shot. You got one in. Very good.

Look at all those trophies. Are those
all for pool?

No, those are for tennis.

Most people are tipped off by the
racket.

Well, you must be very good at tennis.

No, actually, they're Sarah's. Most
people are tipped off by the skirt.

I thought maybe you were playing in
Scotland.

Well, Ellen, how about that? We're tied.

Oh.

What are you doing? I saw a fly.

I wanted to kill it.

I thought maybe you could put its head
next to the deer up there on the wall.

Oh, look at that.

Well, Ellen, remember the time we used
to be tied?

Yeah, those were some good times, huh?

Oh, I know this is crazy, but just
pretend for a minute that you were

Would you go for the one of the three?
See, here's what I'm thinking of doing.

Just shoot the ball.

Maybe I'll go for both.

I'm back.

Morning, everyone.

Sun is shining, the birds are gloating,
singing.

Joe, about that probation?

Forget about it.

You're off as of right now.

Audrey. What?

For you, I'm sorry I snapped at you the
other day.

I guess Mr. B must have won the game
last night.

Thank God.

Oh, Ellen!

Look what Mr. B just gave me. Isn't that
sweet?

Man, and I thought Sweet Key was a hard
ass.

a really good time last night, and Sarah
can't wait to have you back.

She's even going to make vegetarian
chili.

I mean, I won't eat that crap, but
you're welcome to.

And listen, really, I don't want you to
feel bad that I kicked your butt in the

pool last night.

No, why would I? I mean, you didn't feel
bad when I wiped up the lanes with your

sorry butt.

Ellen, we all know it was a fluke that
you beat me in bowling.

Well, if by fluke you mean the
fulfillment of a preordained destiny and

triumph of good over evil, then yeah, I
guess it was a fluke.

You're just a sore loser.

Well, isn't that the loser calling the
loser sore?

I am not a loser.

Oh, yeah? I could beat you in anything.

Oh, name it.

All right.

Okay, you and me right now.

Who can drink this cup of hot coffee the
fastest?

All right, you're on.

This is ridiculous.

We're just burning our mouths.

Okay, you're right.

All right, we're grown -ups.

Rematch tonight, bowling, you and me.
You're on, sister.

Ellen, Ellen, please don't challenge Ed.

It's always the children who suffer.

Oh, Ellen.

Bet you can't do this, huh?

There you go.

Lockheed's hiring.

All right, so I guess it is my turn.

So let me get this straight. I have two
chances to knock down eight pins. So I

could do four and four. I could do six
and two. I could do five and three.

Ellen, will you please bowl?

I'm just seeing how...

Tension mounts. I guess we're tied now.
One more pen and I win.

All right.

Three easy pens to knock down. Oh,
they're just calling me. Come on and

down, Ellen.

Can I borrow this one?

No, not right now, honey.

This is a very important game for your
daddy and I. Yes, don't distract her,

Emily. I want her to lose fair and
square. I don't want any excuses.

You're going to be the one who's needing
the excuses, mister.

Sorry, Ellen. Come on, sweetie.

Let's let the grown -ups finish their
game.

Come here, Emily.

You want a bowl?

Yes. Go ahead.

Well, I think we all learned a lesson
tonight. It took a little child to teach

us a very important lesson.

Yeah, that lesson is, it doesn't matter
if you win or lose, it's truly how you

play the game.

That was a good game.

Truce?

Truce.

Well, now that the two of you have
settled your differences, I'm going to

the kids to the arcade to play some
pinball.

Yes!

Paige?

Paige, I'm home.

This is your cell phone number.

The only page you'll be answering
tonight is this one.

Oh, you have been very naughty, haven't
you?