Original subtitles

Well, the first time I was with a man, and then

I was with a woman for a little while, and then I was with a man again, and

another man, and let's see, then woman, woman, man, woman,

and then another man.

You know, lately I'm beginning to think it doesn't really matter if it's a man

or a woman, you know? It's the person that counts.

But one thing I know for sure, I can't keep going from therapist to therapist

like this.

Jeremy and I are challenging Jim on the group.

Hey, everybody.

Give it up for Doc Kovac.

Hey! It's our resident resident and his spiffy new scrubs. Our very own poor

man's George Clooney.

I just finished my first 24 -hour shift as a resident.

Man, am I pumped. Give it up for the man who just saved some lives. All right,

give it up for a lady who just changed her register tape.

I'm meeting Paige here in a few minutes. I haven't seen her in a week.

We decided since the bookstore is halfway between the hospital and our

we'd meet here. Oh, that is so romantic.

You're like two ships passing in the night, two hearts, two exciting careers.

Too bad you had to meet here.

What did we win?

Oh, just the Palisades under eight.

Mighty Mike girls regional quarterfinal soccer. That's all. Oh, that's all? We

won all that?

I got a goal.

And Daddy got arrested.

I did not get arrested.

I just got a warning and a penalty. And, well, they said next time, yeah, I

might get arrested.

Well, I wouldn't be too worried. I hear that soccer dads pretty much run the

prison yard.

I am just so proud of you knuckleheads. If you weren't such rough, tough soccer

players, I'd give you each a big kiss.

Come on, come on, you. Oh, Daddy, you're silly.

Oh, man, I gotta go.

Another 15 -hour shift. Tell Paige I am sorry.

I just hope I can hold that scalpel steady.

Why can't I have been a malpractice attorney like my mother wanted me to?

What are you doing here, Ellen?

Honey, I manage the bookstore.

Look at me, Daddy. I'm managing the bookstore.

again. Oh, well, it wouldn't be game day if Daddy didn't get into trouble with

the law.

How'd that ultrasound go? Did they find out what you're having?

No, we really don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a goalie. Oh.

I think that's every parent's wish.

So, Ellen, we'll see you at the house for Sunday dinner? Yes, I'm looking

forward to it. Can I bring anything?

Uh, well, let's see. I can't drink wine.

I can't eat chocolate. I can't have coffee.

Oh, I gotta return a bottle of chocolate coffee wine.

Bring it.

We'll serve it to Ed's mom when she comes to visit.

So, girls, we should let Ellen get back to work. Listen, should we go straight

home or stop for ice cream? Ice cream! Ice cream!

Great. How's Ben and Jerry sound, everybody?

Scoop!

You take my band. Not you.

See you Sunday, Ellen. All right, bye.

Look forward to it. Bye, girls. See you later, sweet pea.

Ellen,

Joe, Audrey, can I talk to you guys for a second? We sure, sweet pea.

I just want to say that everyone's been doing a really good job lately, and your

efforts will not go unrewarded.

I'm taking everyone bowling tonight.

Is it too late for our efforts to go unrewarded?

I used to love bowling. I was a pretty fair bowler myself.

I mean, they used to call me Pretty Fair Bowlin' Ellen.

I didn't run with a very imaginative crowd.

I gotta warn you, I've won some tournaments.

I gotta warn you, I've loved a lot of women.

What has that got to do with anything?

I thought we were bragging.

Hey, long time no see, stranger.

How are things going on the set of Elevator 3?

We're having script problems again.

Oh, boy. It must be really tough to preserve the integrity of elevators one

two.

Tell me about it.

Where's Spence? He's supposed to meet me here. I know. He just got paid. He had

to go back on another 15 -hour thing at the hospital. Oh, this is getting

ridiculous.

I'm always at the set, and he's always at that stupid hospital.

It's so unfair, isn't it? I mean, sick people can be so inconsiderate.

Over their dumb heart attacks and stupid late -night operations ruining your

whole night.

And yet when I say these things, Spence gets upset with me.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

Way to go, Audrey.

Four.

Boy, I thought my three was good.

Okay, Rolling Thunder.

Do your magic.

All right, Ellen, you're up.

All right.

Purple house ball.

Ain't no prisoners.

Keep your wrist straight.

Point the back of your hand right toward those pins.

Okay. And now, do I let go of the ball or do I go with it? I'm just trying to

help.

Whoa!

How was that? Was that okay?

I get a strike, I win.

Come on, swirly purple ball.

the guy that gets these after me.

Morning, Mr. B.

Morning, Ed. Hey, thanks for the bowling last night. It was really fun. All

right, Joe, that's it.

One more wisecrack out of you and you're out of here.

And Audrey, whatever it is you're doing, do it in a less annoying way.

You know what I think the secret to bowling is?

Being at one with the ball.

I believe it was the great Dalai Lama who said, you set some up, you knock

down, you wins the game.

Yes, you're very good. Excuse me.

Oh, Ellen. Yeah.

Almost forgot.

You got to work tomorrow.

What?

I told you a month ago that I needed Saturday off. Hey, if it was up to me, I

wouldn't have you come in.

It is up to you.

Yeah, well, I stand corrected.

What is with him?

Well, let's recap.

We closed last night. We went bowling. You emasculated Ed.

We opened this morning.

I can't think of anything.

Yeah, 36 straight hours in the ER. Remind me again why I decided to return

medicine. Well, because hanging out on my couch and painting Paige's toenails

isn't really a career.

You literally don't even get a break in the ER. You don't. I mean, it's an

endless stream of patients.

Bring them in, sew them up, turn them out. Raw hide.

Yeah!

Spence, let me ask you a question. If I beat you in bowling, would you be mad? I

hate bowling. Well, let's just say you liked it.

I like handball. Can we make it handball? Okay, let's handball. Say I

in handball. I haven't played handball in a while. Let's make it racquetball.

Okay. I don't like racquetball.

Ed, you're not mad at me because I beat you in bowling, are you?

Ellen, I was captain of my high school football team.

I led it in wrestling.

I served my country with honor in Grenada.

Look, I think my ego is just a little stronger than that, huh? Okay, so you

admit it would be pathetic for someone who lost a game to take it out on their

co -workers.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and anybody who did that would be a big baby and a jerk.

Oh, absolutely.

Okay, good. Well, then I'll see you Sunday for dinner. Okay, you bet. Okay.

Oh, Ellen.

You do play pool, don't you?

Spencer yet?

Uh, no, I found a post -it in the sink. Either he's going to be late or he went

to get a latte.

I am making him breakfast.

I didn't want to meet him in a restaurant yet. I haven't seen him in so

didn't even want to share him with a waitress. Oh, boy, that would require a

huge dip.

So, is Ed still mad about you beating him at bowling? Yes.

And now he's challenged me to a stupid game of pool. He's being such a... It's

baby. No, Ellen, he's a man.

And men hate to lose, especially to a woman.

Just, you know, do something to make him feel more manly again.

Like what, ask him to open a jar?

Start.

Oh, I know. This is a good one.

Ask him to set your VCR.

Hey, baby.

Hi. So happy to see you. Come here.

I'll be right there. I gotta go.

Me too.

This was a great idea. Yes, indeed. So, uh, tomorrow same time? Oh, perfect.

You want to lag for a break?

No, it is your house. You may break.

Oh, boy. That is a shame. So many balls in so many different directions. Not one

of them went in.

So it's open, and it will be stripes, and I will go for a stripe, which

will go in.

All righty.

Boy, those tortoises must have been something to hunt. That's an exciting

Once turtles get out in the open, you can barely keep up with them.

Yeah,

that's exciting. And it looks nice next to the dead fish, too. Did you design

that yourself, or did you consult Endangered Species Digest?

Another strike for me.

Let's do this one.

And come back around.

This is just set up perfectly.

Oh, another dead deer. Boy, I work with your brother.

Very, very much like you. Very quiet.

Nice cozy house you have here. Very cozy. Nothing says come, said have a

like slaughtered mammals.

Damn.

Well, Ellen, you might as well put Mr.

Big Stick to bed.

Miss Big Stick.

Good shot. You got one in. Very good.

Look at all those trophies. Are those all for pool?

No, those are for tennis.

Most people are tipped off by the racket.

Well, you must be very good at tennis.

No, actually, they're Sarah's. Most people are tipped off by the skirt.

I thought maybe you were playing in Scotland.

Well, Ellen, how about that? We're tied.

Oh.

What are you doing? I saw a fly.

I wanted to kill it.

I thought maybe you could put its head next to the deer up there on the wall.

Oh, look at that.

Well, Ellen, remember the time we used to be tied?

Yeah, those were some good times, huh?

Oh, I know this is crazy, but just pretend for a minute that you were

Would you go for the one of the three? See, here's what I'm thinking of doing.

Just shoot the ball.

Maybe I'll go for both.

I'm back.

Morning, everyone.

Sun is shining, the birds are gloating, singing.

Joe, about that probation?

Forget about it.

You're off as of right now.

Audrey. What?

For you, I'm sorry I snapped at you the other day.

I guess Mr. B must have won the game last night.

Thank God.

Oh, Ellen!

Look what Mr. B just gave me. Isn't that sweet?

Man, and I thought Sweet Key was a hard ass.

a really good time last night, and Sarah can't wait to have you back.

She's even going to make vegetarian chili.

I mean, I won't eat that crap, but you're welcome to.

And listen, really, I don't want you to feel bad that I kicked your butt in the

pool last night.

No, why would I? I mean, you didn't feel bad when I wiped up the lanes with your

sorry butt.

Ellen, we all know it was a fluke that you beat me in bowling.

Well, if by fluke you mean the fulfillment of a preordained destiny and

triumph of good over evil, then yeah, I guess it was a fluke.

You're just a sore loser.

Well, isn't that the loser calling the loser sore?

I am not a loser.

Oh, yeah? I could beat you in anything.

Oh, name it.

All right.

Okay, you and me right now.

Who can drink this cup of hot coffee the fastest?

All right, you're on.

This is ridiculous.

We're just burning our mouths.

Okay, you're right.

All right, we're grown -ups.

Rematch tonight, bowling, you and me. You're on, sister.

Ellen, Ellen, please don't challenge Ed.

It's always the children who suffer.

Oh, Ellen.

Bet you can't do this, huh?

There you go.

Lockheed's hiring.

All right, so I guess it is my turn.

So let me get this straight. I have two chances to knock down eight pins. So I

could do four and four. I could do six and two. I could do five and three.

Ellen, will you please bowl?

I'm just seeing how...

Tension mounts. I guess we're tied now. One more pen and I win.

All right.

Three easy pens to knock down. Oh, they're just calling me. Come on and

down, Ellen.

Can I borrow this one?

No, not right now, honey.

This is a very important game for your daddy and I. Yes, don't distract her,

Emily. I want her to lose fair and square. I don't want any excuses.

You're going to be the one who's needing the excuses, mister.

Sorry, Ellen. Come on, sweetie.

Let's let the grown -ups finish their game.

Come here, Emily.

You want a bowl?

Yes. Go ahead.

Well, I think we all learned a lesson tonight. It took a little child to teach

us a very important lesson.

Yeah, that lesson is, it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's truly how you

play the game.

That was a good game.

Truce?

Truce.

Well, now that the two of you have settled your differences, I'm going to

the kids to the arcade to play some pinball.

Yes!

Paige?

Paige, I'm home.

This is your cell phone number.

The only page you'll be answering tonight is this one.

Oh, you have been very naughty, haven't you?