Original subtitles

There you go, little guy.

Adam, that's way too much.

I look hungry.

Yeah, but look at all that.

Look at that, look at them.

That's way too much. That'd be like somebody feeding you 35 roast beefs.

They seem happy to me.

How can you tell?

This is a fish happy.

This is a fish sad.

Would you like to come over and see it?

No, that's all right. I'll wait till you have a clock and see it in action.

That'd be great.

Yeah.

Well, thanks for sharing.

Oh, no, no, no. That's not what I wanted to tell you. See, there's this new

neighborhood watch unit in the area, and, well, I need a shift partner to

participate, and I was wondering if, you know, you would like to be mine.

I mean, my shift partner, that is.

Thanks, but, you know, I've never been any good at crime -fighting, so... Well,

it wouldn't take but a few hours a week.

No, really, I just hold you back. Even in high school, when we'd form vigilante

groups, I was always the last girl picked.

Well, if you could just stay at home and not do anything, I could just tell

everyone you're my shift partner.

Oh, I'm too busy for that. These are busy, busy days for me.

But I tell you what, I'm going to feel a lot safer knowing you're out there on

the streets patrolling them for me. Well, I was going to be a police officer

once, but I was too weak.

Well, go get them dirty records.

It's a lot of shoulder.

Great shoulders.

How come I never meet women with shoulders like that?

Just once, I'd like to walk down the street with a woman and have guys turn

look at us and say, what the hell is a girl like that doing with him?

So go for it.

Go for what?

Go for shoulder woman. Go talk to her.

You can't just go talk to her. Of course you can.

She's out of my league.

Girls like that only go out with really ugly famous guys.

That's ridiculous, Adam. I mean, people are people. Everybody's got pluses and

minuses. So she's extremely attractive.

Maybe she's really stupid.

Yeah, maybe she's a pathological liar.

Or she could have body lice.

Maybe all three. Maybe she's a stupid pathological liar with body lice.

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to ask her out.

No, I'm not.

Okay, I'll do it. What?

I'll go ask her out for you. Are you crazy?

No, I'll just go tell her a little bit about you. I'll be perfectly honest.

Well, I'll tell her a little bit about you anyway.

Oh, God.

And yours is?

Dara. Dara?

Dara. Dara. Pretty name.

See that guy over there?

You know, I just thought you might like to know that he's very wealthy.

Very, very wealthy.

Rich Ola.

Dripping with cash. Lots of cash. He drives a brand new Ferrari.

brand new. It's more of a vintage. Actually, it's a 79 Vega. He's broke

completely. But the thing is, he's intelligent, talented, gifted, you might

He plays the piano, doesn't play, but he has seen photographs and loves Billy

Joel, the piano man.

Anyway, the point is, isn't it cute the way he does his little facial hair like

that? He does neat things with that, you can imagine.

And it grows so rapidly that the possibilities are... Well, what's your

name? Adam. Adam. Up and Adam. is what we call him. Well, we haven't, but you

could. I don't know.

I think you should tell your friend that he looks very sweet. He is. He's very,

very sweet. That's what I meant to say. Very sweet. He's mute, unfortunately.

Tragic accident involving a vacuum cleaner. Don't ask.

But, you know what? Actually, he was just kind of terrified to come talk to

Would you like to meet him?

good, too, because my feet are killing me.

Okay, look at me. This is how I look downhill.

No, she's never going to show.

She's not interested. You forced her to talk to me. I didn't force her. I think

she's very interested.

Out of my way, Jean -Claude!

A woman with shoulders like that... She's not even late yet.

See? Yet.

Yet.

She will be.

Oh, hey, here she is now. I'd recognize... Matt?

Oh, God.

What?

Oh, no.

What'd you say?

It's Sarah. Some guy's mugging her. What? Some guy. He's got a gun.

Go down there. Stop him. He's got a gun. Adam, it's your girlfriend.

Oh, wait.

Take it off.

got up hurt. I'm calling 911.

No, no, you can't.

No, no, you can't. Why?

Well, because then she'll know that I saw the whole thing and that I didn't do

anything. She'll think I'm a coward.

You are a coward.

Look, as soon as she gets up here and tells us what happened, we'll call the

police.

Did you at least get a good look at the guy?

Oh, yeah.

He was bending over her to take her purse.

He had this horrible scorpion tattooed on his butt.

And then suddenly he looked up and we locked eyes.

It was horrible.

Oh, God, she's coming in. Okay, don't say anything.

Dara, hi.

You won't believe what just happened to me.

Dara, are you all right?

Some guy just robbed me right outside your apartment.

You're kidding. Right outside? Right outside.

Oh, you poor thing.

Were there any witnesses?

He just stood there and he watched the whole thing. I mean, what is it with

people? Yeah, what is it with people?

So, you can't give us any description of the attacker?

No, he came up from behind me and he pushed me down. I didn't even get a look

him. Now, did either of you see anything?

Who? Us?

See anything?

Yeah.

Did we see the crime, you mean?

Yeah. The one outside?

Yes.

No, of course not.

Wouldn't we have said something by now if we had seen it?

Of course we would have, so we clearly didn't see it.

Do you have a problem with authority, son?

A big one, yes.

Anything else, officer?

No, ma 'am, that'll be about it. We'll do the best we can to catch this guy.

In the meantime, I suggest you get to the hospital and have yourself checked

out. Okay, I will.

Adam?

Whatever you need, Dara. I'm here for you.

What you doing, little fishy?

Oh, sorry.

Probably want your privacy for that.

Don't just leave that hanging there like that. That's disgusting.

Hey, we got great news.

What's that?

They caught a guy who they think might be the mugger, and they have a witness.

Oh, that's great.

I know, isn't it?

Yeah, the skinny kid with brown hair came forward yesterday. He says he can

identify the mugger. Oh, well, you have to feel a lot better about that, huh,

Dara?

About a million times better. I mean, I have just been so paranoid and on edge.

If Adam hadn't been there for me these last few days, I think I would have just

gone to pieces. Oh, come on now.

No, no. I mean, most men wouldn't get within a mile. of a woman going through

something like this, but not Adam.

He's been a rock.

So strong and courageous.

Yeah, well, he's no coward.

And I know it's been hard for him, and I've just been so preoccupied, and I

haven't been able to, you know, relax or anything.

There's plenty of time for relaxing now.

It won't take but a moment. I'm here tonight.

Really, Rick, before you say anything else, I know that the neighborhood watch

is important. I'm really glad you're doing it, but I just don't have time.

That's not it. I just wanted to let all of you know that the witness who was

supposed to finger the Orange Road assaulter, that's what we call him

Bafe Camp, the Orange Road assaulter, well, he's disappeared.

He what?

Disappeared. Vanished, panicked, and ran.

Oh, God. Hey,

don't worry. It'll be fine. They'll find him. Well, Actually, they can only hold

the Orange Road Assaulter for 24 hours, so if no one comes down and fingers him

tomorrow, they'll have to release him on his own recognizance.

That's shop talk for letting him go.

Relax,

relax. They'll find him. Relax?

I can't relax. How do you expect me to relax when we've just lost our only

witness? Look, I'm sure another witness will turn up. How can you say that?

I mean, if anybody else saw it by now, they would have come forward. I mean,

in the...

after seeing what happened to me. I mean, what kind of sick, selfish,

could look at themselves?

I

just

can't believe it.

It's unbelievable.

I can't believe he disappeared.

What a chicken.

I know, I know, I have to come forward.

But she'll hate me. She'll never speak to me again.

Adam, it's the right thing to do. If you don't go down there and finger him,

they're going to put him back out on the streets where he'll mug again or work.

I know, I know, but she's just so out of my league.

It's such a rare opportunity I'd be blowing.

I mean, we never really got a chance to relax together.

If only someone else could...

What? You.

You'll come forward and identify the mugger.

I didn't see the mugger. Yeah, but I did.

I'll just tell you what he looked like. You finger him. That'll be that.

Forget it.

No, it's perfect.

It's not perfect. It's perjury.

Look, I'll tell you exactly what I saw.

You repeat it. It's like you saw it yourself. What's the difference whether

me or you?

The difference is I didn't see it and I'm not doing it.

Ellen, you have to do it. I won't do it. You have to. I won't. Ellen, I love

her.

You've known her for three days.

Our future's in your hands.

Please, I'm begging you.

Are you sure you remember what he looked like?

Absolutely.

Geez, they all look so similar.

Like they're trying to trick you or something.

Oh, this is just great. What are we supposed to do now? I don't know.

Just pick one.

I can't just pick one.

Of course you can.

I could send a man to prison for ten years. You want me to just pick one?

Well, they wouldn't be in here in the first place if they hadn't done

Who's here for the lineup?

Um, that'd be me.

That'd be her.

Okay, please face the line up and identify the perpetrator.

Take your time.

Go ahead, Ellen.

Take your time.

I guess you already know which one it is, huh?

dirty, sweaty, dinky men.

Trouble is, they all look so darn guilty. That's the thing.

Of course, we both know only one of them is.

It's that one right there.

Ma 'am, please try and focus on your job.

Yes, sir. You know, I have a problem. I have a tendency to ramble when I'm under

pressure. Rambling.

Rambling gal.

Rambling, rambling.

tests. I just tighten up and choke. Throat gets all scratchy. Arms get

goosebumps. Oh, look at that. Speak of the devil.

Boom!

Ma 'am, one of these gentlemen could go to prison for a long time. I suggest you

take this seriously.

Yes, sir.

Okay.

There's only one way to tell for sure.

How's that?

We need to see their butts.

I told you.

He's got a tattoo of a scorpion right above his butt.

I saw it when he had Dara on the ground and he reached over to grab her purse.

Yeah, well, if you want to see their butts, you have to see their butts.

I can't.

I didn't see the mugger's butt. You did, remember?

Hi there.

Me again. Miss me?

Look, I know this might sound strange, but would you mind

asking them all to turn around and pull their pants down and bend over?

Ma 'am.

If you're looking for thrills, I suggest you get them on your own time. No, no,

no, no, no. You don't understand.

I'm sorry. See? No, it's a tattoo. The mugger has a tattoo. I saw it when he

bent over the victim. It's a scorpion, which is like a spider -type thing. I

hate spiders. Don't you? All insects really. Spiders, ants. Although the

mantis is fascinating.

I saw it.

Gentlemen,

I need you all to turn around, fake the wall.

Pull down your pants and bend over.

Do it.

Now.

There he is. There's Spider -Man. Number two, that's the guy.

Well, that's the man we suspected.

Yes! To the flesh!

criminal justice system.

I have something to tell you.

Something... Something very hard to tell you.

Something very, very hard to tell you. Dara, I... No, Ellen.

Dara, I have something to tell you.

And... Well, you're not going to like it.

It may upset you and... It's very hard for me to say.

But...

Ellen saw the whole thing from the beginning.

She saw it from the window and froze.

She was just completely paralyzed with fear and something inside, you know,

snapped and she just couldn't do anything.

But when she heard that the other witness backed out, I mean, as soon as

found out there were no other witnesses, she knew that she had to come forward.

caused you. I wouldn't blame you if you hate me.

I can't believe what a wretched coward I've been.

I'm completely ashamed of myself as a human being.

Now, Ellen, I think you're being a little hard on yourself.

Lots of people would have acted just like you did.

No, I'm scum.

I deserve to be loathed. Oh, Ellen, no.

Don't be ridiculous. Adam's right. I couldn't be more grateful.

I know you were scared and...

I'm just glad you decided to come forward, and I want you to know that I

forever grateful.

And if you ever need something from me, Ellen, all you have to do is ask.

If you ever need anything from me, just ask, Ellen.

Oh.

Well,

I am the one who convinced her to come forward.

And you.

What do you say we go home and celebrate?

I just feel like this giant weight has been lifted off my shoulder.

I feel so free, so, so... Relaxed?

Very relaxed.

Well, look who I found.

Oh, my God. It's the witness. Here he is. He saw the whole thing. You should

ashamed of yourself.

What about that guy?

He's... I saw the whole thing, too. I saw him watching from up in that window.

That's ridiculous.

This guy is obviously a crackpot and a liar.

I'm gonna kill you.

I didn't hurt her, but I'm gonna hurt you.

And I'm gonna hurt you bad.

What are you talking about?

I saw you.

I saw you up in that window.

And you're dead!

Funny baby.

5th Division, at your service.

And you just went out and risked life and limb for no other reason than...

than it was the right thing to do, ma 'am.

How can I ever repay you?

Not necessary, just doing my job.

Can I at least buy you a cup of coffee?

Decaf, I'm still on duty.

What the hell is a girl like that doing with him?

See?

That could have been me.

Action.

Can you believe how cheap these skis were?

Fifteen dollars. That's great.

Go camera mark.

Can you believe how cheap these skis were?

Eleven dollars and eighty cents.

these skis were six dollars I mean boots

and skis for six dollars I can tell they're really good too because my feet

killing me