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We don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? I'll have theirs, you'll have
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Does anybody notice how quiet it is when Arnold's not here for breakfast?
Yeah, I can't stand the silence.
All I know is when Arnold's not around, the rest of us will get a chance to be
equal opportunity eaters.
You know, I'm really proud of Arnold for getting up early and going out and
walking dogs to try to make a little extra money in the morning. Oh, boy,
morning. I really worked hard.
What's for breakfast?
So much for quiet.
Well, how did the dog walking business go this morning, Arnold?
Oh, terrific.
I'm hungry. Pass everything.
I walked three dogs today.
What kind of dogs were they?
Had a dollar a dog. Who cares?
Arnold, there's a law about dogs doing their thing.
How could you handle three dogs at once?
Well, it's not easy. My right arm's got a bad case of pooper, scooper, droop.
Do you guys mind? We're having breakfast here, huh?
How much money have you made so far?
Well, with today's take, I got $29.
Well, you're well on your way to your first million.
No, I'm not. I just retired.
You've only been working three weeks.
When did you decide to retire?
When I started working.
Believe that, Dad.
He's retiring after three weeks, and you're still plugging away after 30
Well, you don't have to rub it in.
I don't know what's your secret.
Well, the secret is don't be greedy. Make your pile, then split.
In your case, clean up your pile, then split.
Well, that's... Tell us, Mr.
Tycoon, what are you going to do with your $29 pile?
Well, I'm going to buy a present for my favorite person.
You. Right.
I'm going to buy a diesel engine for my train set. They're on... at Haskell's
Hobby Shop. That's why I started working in the first place.
Well, you deserve that, diesel engine Arnold.
You have a lot of fun buying something with your own money.
Hey, you know, it's almost as much fun as buying something with somebody else's
money.
Yeah. Why don't you lay some green on the bed?
Green? What do you mean?
Bread? Loot?
Lettuce? Gelt?
Yep. Never heard of it.
I'll tell you what, Arnold. I'll come home early tonight and I'll go with you
the hobby shop.
Oh, thanks, Dad. But I earned the money myself.
I think I'm big enough to spend it myself.
Well, that's the point.
But you're talking about a very big investment.
You know the old saying, two heads are better than one.
Yeah, but only one of those heads belongs to the kid that earned the
Okay.
You're getting to be a very big boy now. I guess we better just treat you that
way. Hey, thanks, Dad. You hear that once?
No more little A. From now on, I'm Mr. B.
But you just be careful you don't fall on your little egg.
Boy, that is some kind of engine, huh?
Amtrak, eat your heart out.
I got a good deal on it, too.
It was $42 .50, but Haskell had it on sale for $29 .95.
That's terrific, Arnold, but can you get it going?
Yeah, come on, man. Get this thing on the road. We got things to do.
Okay, but first we have to have the ceremony.
What ceremony?
You know, like when they launch a new ship. They always name it, then they
clobber it with a bottle of champagne.
Use that champagne and he'll clobber you.
How about a can of Diet Cola?
Okay, we can skip that part. But we have to give the engine a name.
Aw, come on, Arnold. Oh, boy. See, it has to be something classy like Jackson
Express.
Or the Jackson Rocket.
Let's go, Willis.
Okay, okay, come back, come back, come back.
All aboard for the Jackson Express. Now leaving on track nine with stops at
125th Street. Will you start it?
I'm starting.
What happened? Maybe one
of the wheels is making contact.
There, that ought to do it.
All right.
Who's been messing with my engine?
Kidding. You took it out the box yourself.
Boy, some choo -choo. I didn't get one chew out of it.
Looks like you blew it, Arnold. You should have let Dad go with you.
What good would Dad have done?
Arnold, you got taken because you're just a kid.
problem. Why don't you just take it back to the hobby shop and exchange it for
one that works? They're still open. Hey, yeah, and we'll go with you. Oh, no
way. I was big enough to blow it, and I'm big enough to unblow it.
Look, I'm mad.
I'm steaming.
Why, Arnold?
Three weeks of walking dogs, working my tail to the bone, and for what?
The Jackson Express turns out to be the great train...
give you another engine, Arnold? No. Mr. Haskell said it was on sale as is.
I didn't know it meant as is, but... Wow, Arnold, that's a rip
-off. And he said he couldn't even give me another one because it's a
discontinued model.
They're making a new kind.
The kind that run.
Boy, Dad's sure gonna be disappointed in me.
Oh, Arnold, it wasn't your fault.
Yes, it is.
Dad wanted to help me, and I wouldn't let him.
Hi, kid.
Hi, Dad. Hi, Dad.
Well, Arnold, did you get your new train engine?
Dad, particular train engine.
Uh, how'd things go at the office today?
I don't want to talk about the office. I want to see your train.
You might say I have a one -track mind.
Arnold, you better hurry up and show him before he makes another joke.
Well, there it is.
You know, I remember when my father bought me my first set of trains.
Your father was rich.
I bet it came with tunnels, signals, and everything.
It sure did.
It was the Long Island Railroad.
I told you to hurry.
This is a beauty.
Oh, wow, I'd like to see that run.
We all would.
Well, then let's make it run.
It doesn't run. It's an as -is.
It doesn't run, a brand -new engine?
Here, let me try it.
Okay, would you please?
Now. See?
How about I know what's wrong with it?
I'm very good with electrical things.
Now.
Let's try it now.
Okay.
Forget it, Dad. It's Lemon City.
Well, the first thing we're going to do is take that back to the hobby shop.
What's the second thing?
I already gave the first thing.
Mr. Haskell wouldn't exchange it to give him his money back.
I really tried, Dad. I stood up to him. I even gave him my sad face.
Well, what did he say?
Nothing. He gave me his sad face.
He looked like two bats in rounds.
Is this the receipt?
Maybe. I can get Mr. Haskell to change his mind.
Huh?
I'll give him my sad voice.
Okay, watch this.
Hello? Mr. Haskell?
My name's Drummond.
My son Arnold was in your shop this morning and you sold him an engine that
doesn't work.
Yeah, that's him.
Well, I'd like to come right down and replace the engine.
Well, what am I supposed to do with a broken engine?
Same to you, fella.
Listen, you're going to hear from... Hello?
Hello?
He's a very rude man.
Well, forget it, Dad.
We're stuck with it.
Hey, but it's not fair.
Isn't there something Arnold could do, Dad?
Well, sure. We could report Mr. Haskell to the Better Business Bureau.
You mean the Rotten Business Bureau.
Hey, you know what else is even better still?
We could take him to small claims court.
You mean I have a special court for people my size?
No, Arnold, it's for little claims, not little guys.
Anything under $1 ,000.
Hey, that's cool, Arnold.
Suit a pair of that guy and get your money back.
Yeah, we can be your witnesses that the engine didn't work.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Why don't we get that guy in court?
We'll give him the third degree and make him sweat.
And if that doesn't work, we'll give him the... degree.
And you'll be a real good lawyer, right, Dad?
Well, it doesn't work that way, Arnold.
In small claims court, you have to be your own lawyer.
What are you talking about, Dad?
Well, that's the way it works, Arnold.
Listen, you could do it.
Yeah, I bet you'll get your money back, Arnold.
But, you know, get nothing for all those people. The judge, the reporters, David
Brinkley.
Three seasons.
One thing...
and 26 points of view. What? What? What? What?
College Hill class reunion tonight on BET.
Thanks,
have a nice day.
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It's a big day in court tomorrow, Arnold.
Turn off the light.
Good night, Arnold.
Good night, Willis.
Arnold,
I said turn off the light.
I did turn it off.
Well, why are you turning back on again?
I just want to see what time it is.
In two minutes, it'll be ten o 'clock.
I don't want to know what time it'll be in two minutes. I want to know what time
it is now.
Arnold, it's time that you were asleep.
Now, turn off the light.
Okay.
Good night, Arnold.
Good night, Willis.
What's your problem, brother?
I can't sleep, Willis.
As soon as I fall asleep, they start... What starts?
Bad dreams.
I just had a nightmare while you were in the john.
Okay, Arnold. I won't go to the john anymore.
I'm not kidding, Willis. It was a real scary dream. I don't even want to talk
about it.
Good. Now turn out the light. Oh, gee.
Good night, Arnold. Good night, Willis.
has sentenced me to walk dogs for the rest of my life.
And you should have seen the size of those dogs.
I couldn't even lift a pooper scooper.
Hey, you guys, I'm trying to get some sleep. What's going on in here, huh?
Arnold's worried about going to court tomorrow.
But you've known about it for weeks. Why are you upset now?
Because it's not weeks anymore. It's tomorrow, and I gotta swear on the Bible
tell the truth.
So? So what if I accidentally tell a lie because I'm nervous?
I don't want God going around bad -mouthing me.
Arnold, I think God will understand.
There's nothing to worry about, Arnold. You've seen a hundred courtroom shows on
TV. Hey, what kind of a meeting is this?
How is it all of you are not asleep?
I was having bad dreams about going to court tomorrow.
But Willis and Jimley said it's just like what I see on TV.
Well, in a way.
Practice before tomorrow.
I don't know.
Dad, it'd make me feel a lot better.
Yeah?
Okay. Listen, kids.
Let's have a trial.
All right. You two be witnesses.
There's the witness table over there.
Thanks, Dad. I'll be the judge.
I call the case of Jackson v.
Haskell. Are you ready, Mr. Jackson?
Yes, sir. One more outburst like that and I'll clear the courtroom.
Dad, nobody said anything. No, but I've always wanted to say that.
Go ahead, Mr. Jackson.
Yes, sir.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Oh, Arnold, there won't be any jury.
Well, I'm sure you're having trouble getting this case off the ground.
Dad, I thought everybody had a right to a trial by jury.
Oh, there's no jury in small claims courts. The judge decides.
All right.
Proceed, Mr. Jackson.
Mr. Haskell, where were you on the afternoon of Wednesday right after
weeks ago?
Is it true that you're a grown -up with beady eyes who hates kids?
I want the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth. So help you,
Thurgood Marshall.
That's it, Judge. I rest my case.
Speaking of rest, I think it's time for the alerted attorney to go to bed.
But then I gotta practice.
Well, I don't want you to peak too soon.
Now stop worrying. Just take it easy.
Listen.
Tomorrow in court, just stand up.
Tell them the truth, and everything will be fine. Come on, up you go. Good
night. Good night. Good night, Kimberly.
Now, listen, Arnold.
Hey, there's nothing to worry about.
Good night, Willis. Good night, Dad.
Good night, Dad.
Good night.
Good night, Arnold.
Good night, Willis.
Not again.
Willis, do you think it's possible to get a good night's sleep with your eyes
open?
Hey, Jack.
versus Haskell.
Are you Mr.
Haskell? Yes, sir.
And are you Mr.
Jackson? No, I am.
Who said that?
I did.
Oh, there you are.
You're Mr. Jackson?
Yes, your highness.
Who are you, sir? My name is Philip Drummond. I'm Arnold's father.
I adopted him. He adopted me.
I understand.
Arnold, would you mind stepping back a few paces, please?
I wouldn't mind stepping all the way back home.
Oh, now, there's nothing to be afraid of. Speak right up. Now, you are the
plaintiff.
I'll press like that and I'll clear this courtroom.
Man after my own heart.
Oh, this bad boy is thick, man. You like this, right? This is bigger than my
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You may proceed, Arnold.
Yes, that's exactly what I intend to do.
Dad. Yes?
Exactly what do I intend to do?
Just tell your story to the court. You got it?
Got it.
Ladies and gentlemen of the court.
No, no, Arnold. Please address your remarks to the bench.
Bench?
The judge is the bench.
Oh! Oh!
Sorry, your bench ship.
He's a little nervous, Your Honor. I understand.
Now, Arnold, tell me your story and try to be fair.
Yes.
I bought this busted train engine from this crook.
I object, Your Honor. That's not fair.
No, but it's accurate.
Who are those children?
Well, that's my father and my brother, Your Honor, sir. And I'm adopted, too.
I was an orphan, Your Honor.
If we're all finished with our family trees, may we proceed with the case,
please?
I'm sorry for the interruption, Your Honor.
Go ahead, Arnold.
Well, when the engine didn't work, I brought it back to Mr. Haskell, but he
wouldn't exchange it or give me my money back.
Is that true, Mr. Haskell?
Well, I couldn't replace it, Your Honor. It was a discontinued model, and it was
on sale as is.
Arnold, did Mr.
Haskell tell you that there were no refunds? No, sir, I swear he didn't.
my heart and hope to die if a lion may ask for eyes.
There's a sign in my shop that clearly says that merchandise on sale is not
returnable. Now, that sign is as good as a binding contract. I looked it up in
the law.
Well, you're right. That is indeed the law.
Well, then it should be changed.
When a kid spends his hard -earned money for an engine, he should get the
engine, not the shaft.
Your Honor, this happens all the time. The kid brings a toy home, he plays with
it and breaks it, then they bring it back and complain.
He didn't break it. We were right there when he first tried it out. Right. And
Arnold had on that darling little engineer outfit and a little red bandana
around his neck and a hat that came over and covered his sad little face.
You want a kid, Your Honor? It'll break your heart.
Mr. Drummond, are your children trying to influence the bench?
Absolutely.
Your Honor, all Arno did was take strain out of the box and try it out.
Aha! You hear that, Your Honor? He admits he played with it. That's when he
probably broke it. I didn't break it, honest judge.
And I didn't see that sign he's talking about either.
Why don't you put up a sign for people my size?
Your Honor, may I say a word about the law of merchantability?
Are you a lawyer, Mr. Drummond?
Oh, no, but I've been sued a lot.
As I was saying, it is my understanding that any item sold carries an implied
contract that the merchandise will be usable, unless, of course, there's a
notification that it's defective.
Mr. Haskell, was the train ever out of the box in your store?
Never. As a matter of fact, the box was still sealed when I sold it to the kid.
Then, without prior knowledge of its condition, you obviously had no
of defrauding this boy.
Dad, looks like we've got a hanging judge.
However, Mr. Haskell, though you had no intention to defraud, there certainly is
the possibility that the train was defective.
Now, I believe the sincerity of this young man.
Not to mention his over -exuberant brother and sister.
Don't forget their pushy father.
Well,
the court rules that the fairest solution would be for Mr. Jackson to
train and for Mr. Haskell to refund his money.
And, Mr.
Haskell, the court strongly suggests that in the future you be more aware of
your responsibility to the consumer, especially children.
I'll work on it.
All right!
I won!
I won! I won!
I won!
Hey,
this small claims court is a terrific thing, huh? Yeah, you really put Mr.
Haskell away.
I hated to destroy him like that, but somebody had to do it.
You did just fine.
And when you're ready to buy your new train engine, I'll go with you if you
me to.
Oh, no, I still want to go alone.
But this time I'm going to ask a lot of questions. And the first question I'm
going to ask is, Mr.
don't crook or not and then i'm gonna ask you just as is or as was do you
own this store do you like your mother
They're just wondering what might be right for you.
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Then along come two. They got nothing but the genes, but they got different
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Different strokes of things. Different strokes.
Just one drum What might be right for you May not be right to start
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