Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes to take, different strokes to take, different

strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got my life.

So what? You'll have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. Different strokes to move the world. Different

strokes to move the world.

you're not going to have to spend all your time on business, are you?

Oh, no, of course not.

I will have to have a meeting with the architects for my new housing

out there. But after that, I'll be free as a bird.

Hey, Daddy, do you think that we'll meet any movie stars in California?

I'd sure like to meet my favorite one.

Yeah? Who's that?

Benji the pooch. I've read he's worth over a million dollars. But I don't see

how a doll could save that much.

Well, he probably doesn't spend much. Just takes an occasional poodle after

lunch.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Tom. What's up?

What do you mean the bank is having second thoughts about my loan?

I've always got loans from them on a handshake.

The bank's in trouble.

Well, so am I.

Listen, I had to pledge nearly every cent I've got for the California project

because my company was overextended.

Look, Tom, I've got to get that loan or I'll be...

Tom, will you hold on a second, will you please?

Arnold? Yeah?

Will you hang this up when I pick it up in the den, please?

Sure. Anything wrong?

No, no, no. I just don't want you to have to listen to a lot of business

Uh, yeah.

Mr. Bishop?

Yeah, Dad's going to take it in the den.

No, this is Arnold, the son who's not as tall but better looking.

That sure sounded like bad news to me.

Me too. I wonder what's happening with Daddy.

If you want to know, I can find out real fast for you.

Arnold, not polite to eavesdrop.

Well, I may not be polite, but it's a good way to find out things.

Well, you know, guys, if Daddy's having some kind of money problem, maybe we

shouldn't be taking this trip to California.

Yeah, maybe we could take a cheaper trip.

Like, instead of flying to California, we could take a train to Florida.

Or, you know, if it's really bad, we could always take a bus to Atlantic

Well, if the bottom drops out, we can take a pushcart to Harlem.

Well, Tom, look, let me give you the bottom line.

If I don't get that loan, the entire housing project will go down the drain.

so will I.

Now, please, put some pressure on the bank. Call me back.

in some kind of money problem. I mean, we don't have to take that trip to

California. What are you talking about? I don't have any problems.

Things couldn't be better.

California, here we come.

You said it, Arnold.

We're going to see everything and go everywhere. We're going to go to the

and to the mountains and stuff ourselves and we're going to have the greatest

time any family ever had. And I don't care what it costs.

We're in a lot of trouble.

What do you mean, Arnold?

We are going to have the time of our lives. We're going to have a ball.

Oh, yeah? The last time you were this chump was just before you told me I had

have my appendix out.

Oh, Daddy, you know, why don't we just forget about the trip to California? I

can always just go up to the roof and get a tan. Yeah, and me and Earl don't

even have to go on the roof.

Oh, listen, gang.

If that phone call I got from my lawyer's got you worried, I straightened

that out.

All I had to do was juggle a little money.

Chump. when you juggle your money, Dad.

Last time I did that, I lost a quarter in the toilet.

No, it's not quite the same, Arnold.

See, you have to check your assets, credit your debits, debit your credits,

a capital gain to preserve your tax structure.

Run that by me again when I'm 40 years old.

Okay, Arnold. We got a deal.

If you ask me, I think Dad's just pretending that he's got no words, so we

worry about what's worrying him. Right. Well, to put it another way, he's up to

his assets in trouble.

I've shown Daddy a lot longer than you guys. If he has a problem, he'll fix it.

He always does.

You really think so?

Trust me. We're all going to California. All right. That's good enough for me.

I'm going to get me some sunglasses and a barbecue apron.

You're going to look mighty sharp there, brother. Hey, I'm going to give them

thrills in Beverly Hills.

Tom, I can't believe that the bank wouldn't give me that loan.

I'm sorry, Phil.

But with inflation rising, the prime rate going up, the oil crisis, loan

just dried up.

Well, what about other banks?

Different buildings, but same story.

Phil, we're talking about $30 million.

Maybe money will loosen up in a couple of months.

In a couple of months, I will be selling pretzels in Central Park.

Look, I've already broken ground on that housing project, Tom.

I got a payroll to meet. I got a cash flow problem.

I'll lose the whole thing.

Look, let's face it, Tom. If I don't get that $30 million loan, I'll be

bankrupt.

Well, I know it's not much help, Phil, but a lot of guys have bounced back.

Yeah, in 1929, a lot of them just bounced.

Hey, Willis, there's some great pictures of Hollywood in this book.

Rawr!

Hey, Arnold, what are you doing? I'm the MGM lion.

Man, I just can't wait to get some stars autographed. I'm hoping to shake Miss

Piggy's hoof.

Arnold, I don't want you going around acting like a tourist and embarrassing

I won't embarrass you. I just plan on getting some autographs even if I have

get on my knees and beg.

Well, most people think you're on your knees already.

rather be short of leg than short of brain.

I like your style, brother.

Hey, what's that?

What's what?

I think I heard somebody crying.

Do you think it's Kimberly?

Well, if it isn't, your goldfish is ventriloquist.

Hey, it is Kimberly.

unless somebody knows what you're sad about.

You like us.

Don't cry.

You look terrible.

I didn't mean you look terrible.

Just your red eyeballs.

How will you knock it off? This is serious.

Come on, sit down and tell us what's bothering you, sis.

Well, guys, I'm afraid you were right.

What about?

What you talking about, Kimberly?

Daddy needs $30 million, and the bank won't loan it to him. $30 million?

Maybe he can borrow it from Benji the dog.

Look, guys, Daddy doesn't know I heard him say it. So don't say anything, okay?

Isn't there a place he could go to for help?

Like a credit union for millionaires?

And maybe he could find a job.

All he's ever been is a tycoon.

Hey,

maybe we could help him if we all got jobs.

Arnold, we're talking $30 million.

What could kids like us earn, Arnold?

Just a pittance.

Well, a pittance here and a pittance there could add up to a lot of pittance.

Oh, this has been our home.

We could never earn enough to afford a place like this.

So we'll get a smaller place.

When Willis and me lived in Harlem, we knew whole families who slept in one

room.

Sure. Well, I'll just have to learn to roll over at the same time.

Gee, I never thought this could happen to Daddy.

We really feel sorry for you, Kimberly.

Me? What about you guys?

Well, we're lucky. We've been poor all our lives.

That's right. We had a lot of practice at it. You haven't.

That's right.

Gee, what's it like being poor?

Well, that depends on what kind of poor you mean.

There's just plain poor, median poor, and downright poor.

And there's no hope, no soap, end of the rope poor.

Must be awful, huh?

I'll tell you what poor is.

We once knew a girl named Phyllis who got married at 15 just to get the rice.

You know how they tie empty tin cans to a car when somebody gets married?

Yeah. Well, Phyllis made them tie cans that were full.

That's pretty poor.

And we also know a guy who used to live in a city dump.

That's awful.

Yeah, but when things got better, he moved to his own garbage can.

Oh, you're kidding, Kimberly.

But being poor is rough.

Well, I'm definitely going to give up my ballet lessons, my horseback riding

lessons. Oh. and I'm sure that we can't afford to send me to private school

anymore. I know it's tough giving up things you like, Kimberly.

But back where we come from, ballet lessons and all that kind of stuff is

something we see in a movie or on TV.

Yeah, when you're poor, you don't have things like that to give up.

Yeah. You think about your mom and papa working hard so they can bring enough

money home to buy food, clothes, and pay the rent.

Gee, never really looked at it that way.

Well, excuse me, guys. I'm going to go back to my room now.

Are you going to cry again?

No.

Hey, Kimberly.

Don't worry about it. It's going to be all right.

We're going to take care of you.

Because we love you.

Oh, thank you, guys.

And I love you, too.

Is it really going to be okay, Willis? No way.

It's coming like the Great Depression.

Is that near the Grand Canyon?

Oh, the Great Depression was a time years ago when the stock market crashed.

People were jumping out of the buildings.

What, the elevators working?

Oh, because they went broke.

Listen, Arnold, we gotta think of a way to get Dad some money real fast.

Hey, maybe we could all go on Family Feud.

No, Arnold, that won't be... Hey, I got an idea.

Let my fingers do the walking through the yellow pages to the word money. Ah,

-hour loan company, money in minutes. Dial 555 -L -O -A -N.

First make like you're my secretary so I look important.

Jacksonville Park Avenue, Jackson.

I might be interested in making a little loan.

How much?

$30 million.

Hello?

Hello?

Hi, guys. Hi, Dad.

Uh, listen.

I hate to disappoint you, but something has come up that I didn't expect, and

I'm going to have to stay in town for a while.

So I'm afraid we're going to have to postpone our trip to California.

Oh, that's okay, Dad.

We can take the trip some other time, right, Arnelda? I mean, Arnold?

You're right. You know what? Hey, what's the hurry?

Did you two guys hear what I said?

Hey, California ain't going no place unless there's an earthquake.

It'd be better for me to fly there in a couple of years.

When I'm old enough to heal on the stewardess.

I really appreciate you guys taking it this way. I'm lucky to have such a great

family. Thanks, guys.

I'll go and tell Kimberly.

Okay.

He's really hurting.

Oh, man, well, we must be jinxed.

What do you mean?

Well, we were broke when we left Harlem. Then we moved to Park Avenue and we

were rich, and now we're broke again.

Seems like wherever we go, we take poor with us.

I just had a terrible thought, Arnold.

It's even worse than being poor.

Worse than poor?

I don't want to hear it.

Well, you'll have to, because it might happen.

If Dad loses all his money, they can break us up.

Break us up?

But we're a family.

Yeah, but you and me, we're adopted.

If Dad goes broke, maybe they can take us away from him.

But I love Dad and Kimberly.

What are we going to do, Willis?

I wish I knew, Arnold.

I wish I knew.

This is a great idea you had for applying for welfare.

Yeah, we may can't get to 30 million, but we sure can try to keep this family

together. Do you think our clothes look poor enough? They might turn us down.

Well, they just have to do. Just in case, we can show them the hole in your

underwear. All right.

It'll be okay.

Just try to look a little hungry. Suck in your cheeks.

How's this?

You look like you'd go fish with an afro.

Is this better?

It's more.

If I still haven't eaten more, I'm going to have a permanent pucker.

Excuse me, sir.

Yeah?

We're here to get our father some welfare.

Yeah, we're a lot poorer and hungrier than we look.

I'm sorry, boys. You're in the wrong section. I'm the supervisor. You'll have

go to the clerks at the application desk. Hey,

wait a minute.

You're too young to apply for welfare.

Why can't your dad apply himself? Is he sick?

Oh, no.

He's proud.

Yeah, we gotta help him before it's too late. We don't want him jumping out the

window like they did in The Great Impression.

You see, we're used to being poor, but our dad isn't. And he's gonna have a bad

time of it, especially if we have to move back to Harlem.

Yeah, he's the wrong color for that.

What color is he? White.

And when he got the news he was broke, he was even whiter.

Oh, well, I shook up about it, too.

The housekeeper's off today, and she doesn't know it yet.

Oh, you have a housekeeper?

I suppose you have a chauffeur, too.

That's right.

And when he hears the news that Dad's broke, he'll probably refuse to polish

limo.

Miss, where do you boys live?

In the penthouse on Park Avenue.

You have a housekeeper, a chauffeur, you live in a penthouse, and you want

welfare? You got it. You want to keep the family together.

Sit down, boys.

Tell me more about your hardship case.

Now, what's your father's name?

Philip Drummond.

Is there a Mrs. Drummond? Nope.

There's no woman in the house?

Just Kimberly, our sister.

She's going to be a woman any day now.

Yeah, and she's really getting there.

What is it that you boys are after?

Oh, a woman who can use... and food stamps.

And $30 million.

That seems reasonable.

And do you say that you live on Park Avenue?

That's right.

And if you got rent stamps, we'll take a batch of those, too.

This is a most unusual case.

If you'll just write down your address, young man, I'll get back to you. Okay.

That won't take too long, will it? You don't want us to starve to death.

Now, you don't look like you're starving.

Take another look.

That's very impressive.

There you go, sir.

Thank you very much. And I hope to hear from you real soon. All right, take

care. Okay, bye. You too. Go right out that door. Okay, thank you.

Yeah, E .G. Stilton here.

I have to step out for a while to check out a possible fraud on Park Avenue.

He'll probably want his welfare check delivered to his yacht.

You know, I think some guy's getting rich using young kids for a new welfare

racket.

What are you doing, honey?

Oh, I'm just looking at the view.

You know something, Daddy?

I'm tired of penthouse living.

What?

I need such a big, fancy place like this for anyway.

Hey, wouldn't it be romantic to live in a cheap tenement?

Not particularly.

You know, don't you?

Know what?

About my financial troubles.

Well, I accidentally heard you talking to your lawyer.

Oh, but don't worry, Daddy. The boys and I don't care whether we're poor or not.

Neither do I.

Because we all have something much more important than money.

We got each other.

I'll get it.

Hello, Kimberly.

Mr. Bishop, Daddy's out on the terrace. Oh, thank you.

Hi, Phil. What a wonderful day.

Well, I'm glad to see that my bankruptcy hasn't dampened your spirit.

I've got great news.

You have your $30 million.

What are you talking about, Tom?

Well, a few of your friends got together, and they're going to guarantee

loan. You're kidding.

Well, I'll be damned.

Well, you've helped a lot of the guys yourself, Phil, and they appreciate it.

This is fantastic.

Tom, I can kiss you. I think a handshake will do.

I guess this is what having friends is all about.

Well, congratulations, Phil.

Thank you. Kimberly!

Kimberly!

Oh, Daddy, I heard. You can forget about the cheap tent and I'll force myself to

live in our penthouse.

And the California trip is on. Oh, great.

Daddy, can I call the Teenie Weenie Bikini Shop and reorder those bikinis I

canceled?

Yeah, but easy on the teenies. Thank you.

I'll go in and call my office, get the paperwork started on this.

I... I love New York.

Hey, guys, Daddy's out on the terrace.

I'm E .G. Stilton, and I'm here with regard to family welfare.

Well, I'm sure I gave it the office, but come in. We'll see what we can do.

Have a seat.

Yes, Miss, I'll need those bikinis as soon as possible, please. Right.

For the $50 ones.

Thanks a lot. Bye -bye.

Hey, you know what?

As long as we're going all the way to California, why don't we just jump over

Hawaii for a few days? Oh, Daddy, thank you.

It's only money. The sky's the limit.

Now, how do I make out this check, Mr. Stilson? I don't think you understand.

I've got to be going, Phil.

Oh. The bank will credit your account with the $30 million in the morning.

Oh, thanks, Tom.

I don't know what I'd do without you. Oh, forget it. I'll be in touch.

Okay. Bye -bye, Kimberly.

Bye, Mr. Bishop.

Hey, Dad.

Not if we're rich again.

Uh -oh.

Mr. Drummond?

In the 20 years that I've been with the welfare department, I have never seen

anything like this.

Now, you're not just filthy rich. You are filthy.

Well, I must say you have an interesting way of soliciting contributions.

And I presume this is your daughter?

Yes, I am.

And what do you do?

Go out begging in a bikini and a tin cup?

Hey, listen, fella. You better have an explanation for those remarks or you're

going to be leaving here horizontally.

Don't you threaten me.

Just how many children do you have working for you, Fagin?

What are you talking about?

I am talking about those two innocent little black children that you sent to

office to beg for welfare and plead your phony case.

Beg for welfare.

I think we can straighten this out.

Excuse me.

Arnold, Willis, come in here.

I just went down there because they were so worried about you. Yes, dear.

Willard, come out here right now!

Just what is going on here, Drummond? Now, I want the truth.

You'll get the truth.

Start talking, boys.

Well, Dad, we thought that if you went broke, they could take us away from you

because we're adopted.

So we went down and applied for welfare.

You did that for me and Kimberly?

For us, too.

We didn't want to lose you.

Hey, come here, you guys.

Listen.

Nothing can ever break up this little family.

What a wonderful thing for you boys to do.

Well, if you ever do lose your fortune, Mr. Drummond, it would be a pleasure to

give you food stamps.

I thank you.

Very dubiously.

Well, the important thing is that we're all together, not whether we're rich or

poor. That's right, Arnold.

Doesn't matter whether we're rich or poor, right?

Speak for yourself.

The only poor I want to be is the poorest millionaire on the block.

Thank you.