All language subtitles for 30.To.45.2024.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-

Hey brother.

I forgot to tell you I have
a private lesson today,

I'm gonna need the space.

Yeah okay.

Yeah, just gimme five minutes.

It always starts with me

feeling like I'm falling,

feeling like I'm falling.

All right, so if you guys
promise not to put that online,

then I will let you use fake
blood for your next shorts.

Yes.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

All right, so up next,

when can you use
animation in your work?

Some people will tell you
you need to justify it

with a talking animal or
some made up situation,

but that's the
long boring answer.

The short fun answer is,

use it whenever you want.

Like when you can't
easily find a location.

Good afternoon, Mr. Lopez.

What brings you in today.

Mr. Lopez?

Okay, well I'm just
going to go ahead

with the procedure then.

Patient appears flushed
and very lethargic.

Seems feverish to the touch,

but I should probably
get a full read.

Do any of you guys know what
a standardized patient is?

No.

-Don't think so.
-What was that?

I think there was a
"Seinfeld" episode about it.

What's "Seinfeld?"

I think it's a Sitcom from
the nineties, multi-camera.

-What?
-I know, right?

I mean if you can't get your
story in one lens, then GTFO.

Look, I'm just saying
that that's a story

that I might relate to
you guys via animation.

Forgot to mention since
this is a simulation,

ooh, you didn't need to do that.

Is he still asleep?

I thought he was just
a really good actor.

Gross bro.

Yeah, I don't think you
can talk about your butt

'cause we're kids.

Good point.

I play almost every case

because I could play
almost every race.

Lopez today.

Smith tomorrow.

A psych's group.

Do you ever think about
hurting yourself or others?

Yeah, ever since I
was a little kid.

Hey, you're wearing
someone else's gloves?

No, these are mine.

My name's Andy.

Andy, that's a boy's name.

No, it can be both.

It's actually short for Andrea,

but I never go by that.

Eric, dude, you gotta wake up.

Eric, dude hey,
you gotta wake up.

Oh, closing time already?

Yep, you don't have to go home,

but you can't stay here.

I gotta wipe down the cars.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

You okay?

You look pretty rough.

Yeah, just had a early workshop
and semi invasive case.

What is it you do
again, exactly?

There?

There, I'm a
standardized patient.

We go off script
helping medical students

get used to encounters
pretty much.

Basically we play sick.

It looks like they're getting
a little method with it,

but hey, at least we don't
wait tables anymore, right?

That's true.

You got a pretty sweet job here.

Okay, we can't all be super
successful directors like you.

Whoa, I wasn't being shitty,

I think you actually
have a cool job.

Well, you're welcome to
come take over for me

whenever you like.

Just might, find this
train strangely comforting.

I think you're weird,
to be perfectly honest.

How do you feel about
dinner, weird or?

I appreciate the offer,

but I've kind of... Got plans.

No worries.

Just figured I'd ask.

So pick you up at the
same time tomorrow,

over by the reflection pool?

No.

I've got a meeting
with my investors.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I just don't look forward

to having that same conversation

where I tell 'em
nothing's changed.

This is like the seventh year.

I'm sure I'll be
back on Thursday.

I've got cases to play all week,

but I thought I
could park over here

and skate through to
the medical center

then park in those
parking garage

because they can be booing.

Tell me about it.

Well, I gotta wipe down Goliath,

put her in for the night, so.

All right, I'll
let you get to it.

See you later, Andy.

See you, Eric.

Hey, wait.

What's up?

This is silly,

we should just be
upfront about everything.

I thought you weren't into me.

Shhh.

That was before.

I've come to my senses and
realized how awesome you are.

-Seriously?
-Yes, seriously.

I totally want you to go to the
Sadie Hawkins dance with me.

You know we're not
in school anymore.

Then we can start
making plans for prom.

We didn't even go
to school together,

I met you at the restaurant.

-Where do you want me?
-What?

Geez, are we gonna block
this thing or what?

You're like Leon Kennedy,
Jack Burton, and Link

all rolled into one and blacker.

I have no idea what-

She's tapping into your
nerd fantasies idiot.

Richard?

Duh, it was kind of obvious
that's what she's doing.

You know, your writing

doesn't exactly smack
of subtlety, Eric.

Subtle or not,

I want to know when we can
start seeing some returns Eric.

Can you tell me where we stand?

Where do we stand, Eric?

Where do I need to stand?

Where do we stand, Eric?

What about my returns,
returns, returns, returns?

Yep, here we go,

seen this a billion times.

On the nose.

We are gonna talk about
returns or what, Eric?

Returns, Eric.

Oh, come on. You can't
just riff on this.

Pan up to a light

and let it blow out the
exposure or something, geez.

Maybe watch a French
film once in a while.

Don't listen to them, Eric.

Frame a closeup of
your hand in my hair.

Nice contrast, racial subtext.

You'll do that because
you're a genius.

Really, returns.

Eric.

Oh yeah.

So here's the timeline

of how we're looking
on those projects.

Every year is the
same dance, isn't it?

Eric, I just want to
know about the returns.

What are we looking at?

Why haven't we gotten paid yet?

Well, I mean, we just
sold some foreign deals

on "Tenta-Kill"

and there's a couple
markets coming up for that

and "Murder Mind."

What?

Shit, I'm out again, aren't I?

Yeah, it's getting pretty bad.

Listen, let's get down
to business, shall we?

Rich here, he doesn't
really care about

your pathetic little
spreadsheets, all right.

Rich wants results.

I'm trying, man,

this shit is hard to make work.

It's not like the
VHS boom in the 80s.

Yeah, but like you do
have movies out there

that people are buying.

Yeah, but all the money's

not just coming
right back to me.

Who's it going to then?

Martin, what are you doing here?

It's how dreams work, homie.

Yeah, but I haven't
thought about you in,

shit, 10 years.

Actually, you searched for me
on Facebook nine months ago.

You totally did.

Kind of creepy.

Oh shit, yeah, I
forgot about that.

Not entirely, obviously.

You see, since I'm
collateral damage

from your nervous
breakdown in college,

I'm the part of you that means
you're just two steps away

from losing your shit,

which is why I am here

as you try to convince Rich

that you didn't just waste
his 200 grand investment.

Oh, I've seen the films,

consider it wasted, Rich.

So what does that make you then?

Oh, your frustration
you silly goose.

I mean, think about it,

aside from your bullshit here,

what frustrates you the most

about your beloved
genre of choice?

Zombie movies.

Zombie movies, yes.

And comedy war?

And I am quite cheeky.

Well, what's left of it anyway.

Why are you so white?

Why is he black?

Because he's black in real life.

The fuck you mean in real life?

Wow.

Look, I don't wanna
do a race thing,

we're not doing a race thing.

Oh, I think somewhere
on some level

you want to do a race thing.

Look, these spells
don't last long,

we should probably wake 'em up.

Agreed, toss it.

Seriously, Eric?

Or are you just faking it
to avoid the awful truth?

I'm sorry, Rich.

It's just that,

lately I've just been
feeling kinda weird.

Yeah, you look fucking terrible.

I can understand why though,

it looks like this
whole thing was a bust.

The last several
years, the investment.

We're not ever gonna
see any of that, are we?

I mean, it's not
necessarily true,

we did make three movies.

One of which is
still unfinished.

Yeah, but it's in post.

It won't be that much longer.

And the other two got
good distribution.

Your good and my good are
apparently out of alignment.

I have seen no money
come back this way.

Well, I mean that can change

and at least it got
me some exposure.

Try paying your bills with that.

Look, why haven't you leveraged
this viral video craze?

Kids shooting on their phones

are becoming the
new taste makers.

Or they're sitting in front of
their laptops 23 hours a day

turning out animation concepts.

This is the stuff
that's making a profit.

Or hell make a musical,

even that seems hot again,

not this naval gazing,

self-important genre crap.

No disrespect
intended, of course.

Yeah, none taken, I guess.

Look, I honestly feel like if
we're moving forward at all,

it's going really,
really slowly.

Yeah, it sure is.

I prepared some projections.

Why don't you do what
those guys are doing

over at Adult Swim.

Hey man, you up yet?

Hey Becky, this is Eric.

Just calling to see if you got
my last few emails and calls

about the status
of "Tenta-Kill."

She's overseas.

Just wondering where we're at

with those deals
that were pending

and whether or not you need
anything further from me.

Just met with my investor
and he'd like an update too,

so anything you can
tell us would be great.

Thanks, Becky.

Won't hold my
breath on that one.

Hey Steve, this is Eric.

Just calling to see if you got
my last few emails and calls

about the status of
"Murder Mind" sales,

just wondering where
we're at with those deals

that were pending

and see if there's anything
else you needed from me.

Just met with my investor
and he'd like an update too

so anything you could
tell us would be great.

Thanks Steve.

I only wrote and directed
the fucker, so you know,

feel free to keep
me in the loop.

Oh fuck.

Hey Sarah, how's it going?

Good, and you?

Oh, you know, living the dream.

Aren't we all?

So I read your script
and I sent it in to Brian

and we love the writing style.

Oh, that's awesome.

Have you heard his new single?

Let me screen share this promo.

We are back

with the latest single
from Brian Turner,

already rocketing to
the top of the charts.

If you loved his previous hits,

"Sex Face," and "Sex Paint."

♪ Sex face, you're
in the right place ♪

♪ Sex face, don't
let it go to waste ♪

You're gonna love this new one.

Here it is, just in time
for the Halloween season.

"Sex Mummy" from Brian Turner.

♪ Girl I'm all
wrapped up in you ♪

♪ With bandages and some glue ♪

♪ Have me on I'm a sex mummy ♪

♪ Ma, ma, mummy ♪

♪ Ma, ma, mummy ♪

♪ Ma, ma, mummy ♪

I love it, it's so catchy.

He's actually joining us.

Let me bring him into the call.

Oh, that's awesome.

Hey there Eric.

Yeah, definitely
love the material

and sorry, a little
sweaty from rehearsal,

but do want to talk a
little bit more about it.

Well, I mean, thank
you, I appreciate it.

Yeah, absolutely man,

and trust me, I read
a lot of this crap,

but I really, I vibe with this.

Yeah, it's definitely good.

But unfortunately we're
currently looking for material

that's more of a one location,

three or four character vein,

you know, high concept.

Hmm, gotcha.

Also, most of the films
we're putting out now

were made for very little

but look like they
cost a lot more.

The emphasis on the human
conflict really helps with that.

Oh, and first person POV,

that stuff still
sells really well.

Also, I'm not really
sure about the lead

being an African American guy.

I mean, I think that's
just gonna make it

like way harder to package.

What if we put Brian in the lead

and then we retool the
other character to be like,

I don't know, more
like urban hip.

Yeah, I don't know
about all of that.

That's a good note, Sarah.

And first of all,

I actually got that other
script from you as well,

the comedic one,

I can pass that on to
one of my animators

and he's actually
in here right now.

Todd, are you... Hello Eric.

Hey Todd.

I'm great, hi Eric,

so here are my thoughts.

I don't think what you have here

is quite ready for animation.

Right yeah, I'm pretty
sure I just thought that-

The thing is, is you
need to ask yourself

what exactly has to be animated.

Like do you have a talking dog,

or adventures in
space or something.

What about just a
compelling human story?

Unless you're willing
to animate it yourself

or willing to get rough work
from newbies, probably not.

All right.

Got you, well, thanks
for the honesty

and thanks Brian
for showing Todd.

Yeah man, hey, absolutely,

we'll work together
man, somehow.

Give me a talking
dog and you're on.

A talking dog trapped in a room

with three other talking dogs

with an unseen tormentor.

Oh, if it's found footage,

it's even better.

Ooh, a couple of music
numbers couldn't hurt.

Right, got it.

Yeah, yeah, I'll
see what I can do.

No problem, talk soon.

So Brian, tell me about
this new album title,

"The Ineptrechaun"

like what the hell is that?

Literally, I was just coming
off of working on that,

that's why I'm so sweaty,

but we were killing it, it's-

Good work guys.

Thank you for teaching us

how to use the
green screen effect.

Of course, that's
what I'm here for.

I can't wait to be a
real director like you.

What do you mean?

What do you think
you're doing now?

You are a director.

No, I mean like you,

you're rich, right?

No dummy.

If he was so rich,
he wouldn't be here.

Oh.

Hey, how come you
smell like pizza?

All right, back to work.

You guys are running outta time.

Keep up with the jokes

and I won't let you
guys use my prop guns

for your high spills.

Well, can we still
use your cameras?

I mean you have cameras here.

Yeah, but your
stuff is way nicer.

Unfortunately, someone's
using mine today,

for like a month hopefully.

But I'm sure you've
got some good stuff.

I guess.

Hey, took you long enough.

I mean, it's not like I
knew you were gonna be here.

Well your roommate said
that he didn't know

when you'd be back.

He also offered me a free class,

whatever that means.

Yeah, sorry, had to find
somewhere quick, remember?

Why are you here anyway?

I got something for you.

It's cute and furry.

Nope.

Bad idea, Michelle.

We gotta stop doing that.

Not that dip shit, this.

Oh my goodness.

I would rather actually have

emotionally damaging
sex, Michelle.

What, you said you wanted a cat?

Yeah, when we were together

and things were somewhat stable.

Your definition of stable
differs greatly from mine.

What?

It's like you guys all have
the same writer or something?

-What?
-Nothing.

I had a weird day.

At any rate, there's no way I
could take care of this cat.

I could barely take care
of myself right now.

Why don't you just keep it?

Because I have stuff going on.

And besides Skip is allergic,

-Skip?
-Just some guy.

Of course, sounds like a tool.

Jealous?

Yes, I am actually,

of his still cat free existence.

Sounds like you're committing.

No, that's not
what I was saying.

Come on, let's go inside.

I dunno, what's wrong with me.

Us.

What's wrong with us.

Selfishness.

It's all this is.

We have to start thinking
of the feelings of others.

Oh yeah, we?

Thank you for not having one
of your spells this time.

That's only happened like once.

More like-

Okay, maybe one and
a half times tops.

You do look a little sick

and you feel feverish.

I actually don't think that
you're making it up this time.

Come on Michelle,

why would I do that?

Sympathy sex.

Is that what this is?

I have no idea what this is,

but I should probably get going.

I hope you didn't give me
whatever it is you have.

I talked to Brian Turner today.

For real?

-Yeah.
-And?

Just the same old shit.

That he likes my stuff

but nothing solid beyond that.

Well still. that alone
is pretty exciting.

Yeah, but how many times

we're gonna have the
same conversation

about other people
and other projects.

It all sounds exciting and mind
blowing until it evaporates.

He's right, we'll talk later.

I have to set something up.

Have you thought about puppets?

What?

Maybe using puppets.

It's cheaper and you
don't have to worry about

everybody's BS.

Then I'd have to deal
with puppeteers BS.

I just thought it'd be a nice
way to get around the whole

being a broke loser thing,

to do something,
shoot something again.

Who the fuck works
with puppets anyway?

I mean, it's kind of
pathetic, don't you think?

What would you call this?

Look, I am rehearsing
a show right now

with some felt friendly elements

and that's what
gave me the idea.

-But never mind.
-Wait.

First of all, I'm sorry,

and I appreciate it.

Second, I kinda
have a favor to ask.

Okay?

I need you to go to this
birthday party with me.

It's a family thing-

And you haven't told them yet?

No, I have not.

I can't blame you,

it's kind of a gray area.

Yeah, to say the least.

When?

Saturday.

Shit, that's tough.

But yeah, I can move
some things around.

On one condition.

It always starts with me

feeling like I'm
falling, falling.

What?

Woo, woo.

Jesus dude, you got
some stuff to work out.

Come on. It is not that bad.

All aboard.

Okay, maybe I have some demons.

I didn't mean me, I meant you.

Okay, let's make him naked.

Can't do that, gotta
pay for more nudity,

then you would owe me
this much with interest.

Not even seating it in clunky
metaphors anymore, I see.

I'm pretty sure
those are my sheets.

Dammit, Martin, I
didn't take your sheets.

I barely got all of my
stuff out of the apartment.

Because of your nervous
breakdown, right?

Heard it all before.

You got that money you owe me
for breaking the lease yet?

He does not.

What a surprise?

No shit, look at this makeup,

bargain basement work.

Don't listen to them baby,

give it to me.

Why are you guys even here?

To make sure you perform.

What?

You have to admit,

your performance has been
nil up to this point.

That's not fair. I
worked my ass off.

Oh yeah, oh yeah baby,

I want you to work my ass off.

Work my ass off so hard.

Oh man, I get your
drift zombie guy.

Told you.

How could he hack, hack, hack.

Come on Eric, you
know you want this

and I want your big black-

Hold up girl.

Okay, okay.

Are you about to
say big black me?

No, cut, cut.

Hold on, hold on,
what's the problem?

I don't think you can say that.

He's half black like me.

Yeah, I don't think
you can say it either.

Oh, come on.

Wait, hold up.

You guys, what do
you guys think?

Can he say it?

-No.
-Come on.

All right, so that's fine.

We cut on the word,

they hear it in movie
world, we don't.

Moving on, we'll go up
to the next setup, okay?

So let's set up
for the next scene.

Go ahead and get in position.

You guys get set,

ma'am we'll come get
you when we need you.

Thank you very much.

Jesus fucking Christ.

And action.

Did I just... Yes
you did, brother.

Is he black enough to say that?

We get it, still rolling.

Do you need a moment, brother?

No, no, no, I just, I have a-

I'm sold this dude crazy.

That's what we need up in here

is some stream of
consciousness, Boone Newal shit.

It's Boone Weld.

Reign it in a
little bit, Swerve.

Okay.

Swerve?

He's my cousin, my play cousin.

But back to the discussion
at hand, brother Eric,

listen, we like your material,

but we have a few inquiries.

Brother Rasheed.

Thank you brother Malik.

Now brother Eric, we're
definitely interested in

considering leveraging
a partnership with you.

We feel like your work is
just the type of thing we need

to inject some life
into our network.

That being said-

Where are all the
black people at?

Excuse me?

Don't worry, I got
your back Eric.

Angelo, what are you doing here?

Man, let's just say
I'm your backup.

Or your black up.

Hey, hey, hey.

See, see,

this dude crazy.

Straight up twin
peaking up in here.

So you guys aren't seeing

or hearing this man?

No, brother.

And who is it you're
seeing exactly?

Apparently the lead singer
of my favorite band.

Who is Angelo Moore?

♪ Pick it up, pick it up ♪

Angelo Carmen Christopher Moore

is an American musician,

best known for his work as
lead singer and saxophonist

for The Los Angeles Ska and
funk metal band Fishbone.

Moore also performs and
records under the stage name

Dr. Madd Vibe.

♪ You got all you need ♪

♪ Don't be scared it's
all at your feet ♪

Man, text me the
number of your dealer.

Calm down, Swerve.

Back to what you were saying
a moment ago, brother Rasheed.

Brother Eric, now the
quality of your work is good

and we definitely love
this sitcom pitch,

but we're just concerned that

it might not send
the right message.

What message exactly?

Yeah, what message?

Empowerment, for one.

I mean, most of the
cast you've attached,

they're all white.

No, no, there's
four white people,

two black guys,

an Asian guy,

and two gays-

Lemme stop you right
there, brother.

I just want you to understand
what we are trying to do here.

We're trying to send a
positive message to our people.

Positive message, yeah right?

You think all that ass

is gonna keep your
kids off the street?

With all due respect,

this is ridiculous.

I mean, I'm half black.

Yeah, we gonna have
to work on that too.

Oh, I got that, Lester.

Malik, it's Malik.

If I'm gonna call you curve
or speed bump, or whatever,

then you can call me Malik.

And you don't got that.

You barely got yourself.

What do you mean work on it?

Like, what is there to work on?

Our demographic is black,

and well, truth be told,

you're just black-ish.

Nope, nope.

Can't say that my brother.

I forgot, my mistake.

Eric, you are just
sort of black.

Diet black.

Is that better?

Man, that's fucked
up right there.

We can use it.

Work with it, we'll,
spin it you know.

You are our invasive exotic son.

You need to tell these
guys to suck it, man.

That's some bullshit
right there.

I agree.

Who are you talking
to, my brother?

Who indeed.

Look brothers, no disrespect,

but I think I should
take my project

and go a different way with it.

Now hold on, my brother,

work with us on this and we
can definitely get you paid.

Hold on man, just pause.

Pause for information.

Oh yeah?

Definitely.

Get you that paper, son.

Is this fucking guy for
real over here, man?

What I was saying is,

we can definitely find
some money in this for you.

And what are the terms?

Well, for this season,

we're thinking we can get
a pretty sizable advance

via syndication.

Now, based on what
you've shown us thus far,

we're thinking we can
get 50,000 up front.

Whoa.

To be split between us.

So... And then after that,

we're thinking we can
offer you roughly $3,000.

What about my crew?

3,000 as well.

Man, let me throw
this sax at the man.

Hold on, hold on.

So what you're saying is
6,000 total for everything

and then you guys split 50,000.

-No, you misunderstanding.
-Okay. I was hoping so.

It's 3,000 total
for you and them.

Man, Eric, you don't
need this bullshit.

What do you think?

I think I'm gonna
take my project.

Thanks Swerve.

And I'll see myself to the door.

Good call Eric, good call.

Damn, this booty
video was still on?

Now hold on my brother,

we just wanna make
sure that you realize

what we are trying to do here.

Well, I think I understand

what you're trying
to do already.

No, thank you.

So you'd rather deliver
pizzas the rest of your life?

At least they don't pay
me slave wages, brothers.

Oh, snap.

Shut up, Clarence.

Damn it's like you got
the same butt on the loop.

Well, Eric, as your
lawyer, I have to say

you're pretty wise to
walk away from that deal.

I appreciate that.

And I'll try reaching
out to your distributors

to see if they have
any good news for you.

And I'll get these
registered for you.

I'll put it on your tab, again.

I am curious though,

what's up with all
these white girls?

Yeah.

I'm looking through the script.

White girls, white
girls, white girls.

I mean, are they
magical or something?

And they're rescuing you,

is that what you're saying?

No, that's just how it happened.

They're based on
real people and-

No, I think you should
base some of these

off of real sisters like me.

You know the one that's been
doing your pro bono work

for your ass.

I bet you're probably
gonna run off

for some white girl quality time

right after this, aren't you?

No.

What's next?

Yeah, I didn't really want
to tell anybody about it,

it's kind of embarrassing.

I drive a miniature
train full of kids, dude.

Yeah, it's just,

I don't wanna have that
conversation with anyone.

Kicking myself for not
making a decision in the past

or torturing myself for making
the wrong choice, at least.

All aboard the wrong
choice express.

God damn.

You know the
confessional webcam thing

is like really boring
me to death, again.

You're doing it to
yourself, you know?

Am I eating too much
junk food, Martin?

Is that the point
that you slash me

is trying to get across?

Here, take this.

-Wait, what's all this about?
-I think you know Eric.

Oh shit, this isn't what
I think it is, is it?

One day filmmaker
Eric Linson boarded a.

God, what would you
call this thing?

A, oh, I know.

One day filmmaker Eric
Linson boarded a kiddy train

with yet another woman
that he's pining for.

Some might call it stalking,

but anyway, I digress.

While still entangled
in a messy relationship

with another woman.

Both facets are ascending
at a rapid pace-

And then they
disappeared forever.

This is their footage.

This is their footage, got it.

Maybe I can sell this one.

I hope spring's eternal.

What the hell man?

You know, when in Rome.

Anyway, look, here we are,

the first stop on the
train of consequences.

Still on the nose,
if you ask me.

You're the one that said it.

Oh, we're in your head, dude.

Hey buddy, how's it going?

Great, I have to
deal with this again?

-Which is what exactly?
-Shouldn't you know?

Hey man, my presence has
been echoes for a while.

You screwed me
over a decade ago.

You know what, you
are right about that.

There's definitely some memory
segregation going on here.

But Martin, listen, I want
you to meet Jason Altor,

he is the first producer

of Eric's previous
film, "Murder Mind."

What about those
guys over there?

Wait, are they about
to cut his clothes off?

That's my biggest fear.

Let's make him naked.

Exposure alert, Martin.

Anyway, don't worry
about that right now.

Right Eric, follow me over here.

We've just screened the film,

-we have a few notes.
-Who's we?

We already agreed on a final cut

and I cut out the 33
minutes that they asked for.

Yeah, but the studio
wants to shave

just a couple more minutes off.

So I figured I'd
show it to these guys

and see what they thought.

What, why would you do that?

Hey buddy, don't
take it personal.

We just wanna make the
best possible movie here.

Again, your use of "we"
is very disconcerting.

I definitely enjoy
the film's enthusiasm.

I think it has a lot of heart.

However, I think
you'd benefit more

from a non-linear approach.

What you need to do is mix
up the order of the scenes

and create more flashbacks.

But it all happens over
the course of a few hours.

If you ask me. It
seems kind of silly.

Who is your protagonist
favorite band?

-What?
-Exactly.

You need to know these things.

I think you think his favorite
band is the Rolling Stones,

but in actuality
it's the Beatles.

Furthermore, you need to
make the mother sympathetic.

That that makes no sense.

She can't be sympathetic,

she's kind of the villain.

Yeah, nothing a little
editing can't fix.

Just a few tweaks.

Exactly.

Make her sympathetic,

then give her a disease.

What?

Eh, she needs to
be sick somehow.

Really bring attention to the
human condition, you know.

I'm thinking fibromyalgia.

Oh, that's good.

But she can't really
get treatment.

Because she's an
illegal immigrant

who only came here to give
her son a better life.

-Perfect.
-Nice.

I love where this
is going, guys.

Great stuff, very compelling.

See, I told you
they were geniuses.

So, so talented.

I'm pretty sure I'm
gonna have my hands full

with all these thinly
veiled references.

Libel is real, Eric.

Come on, I'm
changing their names.

Whatever genius.

Get on back to your
stupid zombie drink train.

-Is that Angelo?
-It is, apparently.

I haven't thought about
those guys in a while.

You know, you turned
me on to that band.

Remember we saw them
at the Liberty lunch

before you sold me out.

Anyway, I associate
them with you

so no way am I busting
out those records.

I know, I know, Martin,

I get it, I fucked you
over and I'm sorry.

Apparently Karma's
paying me back now.

So why is he here then?

I'm just along for the
ride too, bud, okay.

Speaking of which, I
believe these guys are next.

Eric, come on in,

I've got some key art
mock up to show you.

What are you waiting for, Eric?

Train of consequences, remember?

But this all happened

before this stuff
with Jason and-

See what I mean,
shake up the timeline.

Everything is just
going in reverse,

that's kind of been done before.

I prefer a more
Burrows-esque approach.

So I find this reminiscent
of early Cassavetes.

Now you're just making shit up.

I like that, that was real,

you created a moment there.

Okay, sit down, I've got
some stuff to show you.

We're getting ready
for the market.

Oh, this is gonna be good

Eric, if you don't
pay your rent on time,

this is gonna be you.

So what we've decided
that we need to do

is capitalize on that huge
film that just came out.

What was it?

What was it?

Oh, the one with the zombies?

No way, zombies are over,
over and done, next?

No, the one with the,

what do they call it?

The real footage one?

Found footage you mean?

Yeah, like the movie they just
did with your lead actress.

What was that called?

"First Person," because it
was all in first person,

which was lame.

Well it obviously
wasn't that lame.

Shut up.

You're the one that's
contextualizing it this way,

that's all I'm saying.

So based on the numbers
that "First Person" saw,

and the fact that your
lead actress is in it,

here's what we've come
up with for your film.

Okay, here is the original
you brought to us.

Which I like.

Eh, it doesn't pop,
it's too abstract.

It tells me nothing
about the film.

Have you ever seen the
poster for "Vertigo?"

I'm sorry,

are you literally implying that

you are on the same
level as Hitchcock?

No, not at all.

I'm just saying that
that's an example

of abstraction that works.

Oh yeah, it works
when you're Hitchcock,

which you're not.

Bam, what do you think?

Seriously?

There's not even any of
the POV stuff in the film.

It doesn't matter.

Selling a concept,

a concept directly tied to
your lead actress's last film.

I don't know.

Yeah, it seems kind of slimy,

like a money grab.

It is a money grab.

Haven't you been
paying attention?

On that note, here is an
alternate version we came up with

to really cash in on
the first person heat.

-Wow.
-I know, right?

You know, it could use
some zombies though.

There's no zombies in the film

or any of that other stuff.

And the name, I mean, come on.

On the nose.

We tested first Person,

but it didn't do too well
in the 18 to 35 demo.

What do they know anyway, right?

It's certainly more than
the 30 to 45 demographic,

that's for sure.

-Am I right?
-You're right.

What?

Oh, we'll be in touch.

But I mean, which
one are we using?

Eh, probably the second one.

I just called you in to fulfill
our contractually obligated

consultation clause.

But... Oh Eric,

don't waste your time on this.

Besides, we gotta get
back to the beginning

before you wake up.

Don't forget that we need
you to cut us a new trailer

for free.

Oh, we're on it boss
man, don't you worry.

Come on bitch.

Money, money, money.

Hey guys, I'm really loving
this first person POV thing

you've got going on here.

We can definitely sell this
one in Micronesia, Bulgaria,

and the Galapagos Islands,

maybe Guam.

Ooh Guam.

And did I hear you right, ZG?

Are we currently in the process

of setting up a musical number?

Damn straight.

I mean don't you hear
that musical motif

fading up in the background?

Ooh, can I get in on that?

Sure.

Let's just get him over
to that editing bay

so we can get that
trailer finished for you.

Wonderful.

I mean, the musical thing
is really less about

whether or not
I'll buy the movie,

and more about me trying
to reactivate dreams

I gave up on years ago.

Regardless, I already
have some notes.

Yes, of course you do.

Now listen, genius,

get over there and do the
grunt work while we shine.

Here we go, rough
work from newbies.

♪ Cuing up one more
low budget indie ♪

♪ Resume's in and I
hope that they pick me ♪

♪ There's interest from
networks and stars ♪

♪ There's line items
for cocaine and bars ♪

♪ The script is solid and
the lights are all green ♪

♪ Flexibly funded, if
you know what I mean ♪

♪ What does she mean ♪

♪ Don't make a scene ♪

♪ That's how you know ♪

♪ That's how you know, oh, oh ♪

♪ That's how you know ♪
-Michelle?

♪ That's how you know ♪

♪ Shit show ♪

♪ You're on a shit show ♪

♪ Shit show ♪

♪ You're on a shit show ♪

♪ And now you're cutting the
scene with notes from producers ♪

♪ Who keep telling you ♪

♪ You're a no talent loser. ♪

♪ How long can you strangle
a dream before it dies ♪

♪ But you know it always helps
to have a fresh set of eyes ♪

♪ This may have started
as your vision ♪

♪ But now it's one big circle ♪

♪ Now hurry up and explore
this and get back to work ♪

♪ Make it more like clerks ♪

♪ That's how you know ♪

♪ That's how you know ♪

♪ That's how you know ♪

♪ That's how you know ♪

♪ Shit show ♪

♪ You're on a shit show ♪

♪ Shit show ♪

♪ You're on a shit show ♪

♪ Man I don't like these
notes that you gave me ♪

♪ These changes are
obvious and lazy ♪

♪ You got me selling trucks
while making layers ♪

♪ Black face doesn't
have to be makeup ♪

♪ It just sound like I'm
whining and complaining ♪

♪ But over years this
shit gets draining ♪

♪ Got me questioning
all my life choices ♪

♪ Maybe I should just
listen to the voices ♪

♪ Shit show ♪

♪ Shit show ♪

♪ Shit show ♪

♪ Now you know ♪

Eric, you need to
leave right now.

This is just a prop gun
for my kids at camp.

That makes it sound even worse.

I can't believe
you've come down here

and do this while I'm working.

Do what?

One minute I'm relaxing
and the next minute-

Relaxing?

Right, you need to stop
before you hurt someone else

since you obviously don't
care about yourself.

They've already called the
cops so you need to get out.

Cops, fuck.

Eric, leave now.

I need to be at
work in 10 minutes.

Go.

Yeah, yeah, that'll be
about 30 to 45 minutes.

All right, thanks.

Eric, I need to talk to you.

Oh yeah, all right,

just tell him I don't
want any trouble.

-What?
-Huh?

Yeah, I was just gonna ask you

to pick me up some
smokes on your way back

from this delivery.

You okay man?

Yeah, yeah, just, I
got a lot going on.

Gotcha.

So look, here's the cash.

Go ahead and pick
me up energy drink.

Big one, not one of those
little baby ones, okay.

Got it.

Smokes and a big energy drink.

Yeah, yeah.

I gotta go to the bathroom,

just come get me when
the order's ready.

All right.

Wake up man, not right now.

Yeah.

Hey man, order's up.

All right, I'll be right out.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck.

Come on man, I
gotta drop that off.

Oh, will you calm down?

You're just hallucinating.

What brings up an
interesting sidebar,

should you really be
driving right now?

I don't really have a choice.

All right bud,
whatever suits you.

You know that was a stop sign?

Hi pizza guy.

Hey, how's it going?

I see you got,

hey you got.

This might be it honey,

it's gonna be the
break you need.

What Michelle?

These guys again?

Okay, inside baseball,
catch me up here.

They also don't know these guys.

The guys from Chicago.

They produced "Witch Pyre,"

I don't know why
they keep popping up.

Because we believe in you buddy.

And we have another film that
we're trying to knock out

around the same time.

So we're trusting you

to do this "Witch
Pyre" sequel for us

while we take a production
credit hands off.

Because we think
you are a genius.

Pure genius.

But they think
you're a genius Eric.

No they don't, they
think I'm a mark.

He said with the
benefit of hindsight.

At the time you and your ego

totally bought into all of this.

Man, this deep dish
pizza is no joke.

-Now who's on the nose?
-Fair point.

But I'm still an
extension of you, so.

So basically we've
written the script,

we just need you to do
all the production work.

-And front the budget.
-Yeah, front the budget too.

-And here my troubles begin.
-Tell me about it.

This is so exciting.

It was at the time.

I used to make fun of
those films as a kid

and here I got to do part 14.

Man, I really thought that
this would lead to something.

Something other than
a big money fight,

burned bridges and
narrowly avoided lawsuits?

And name calling, lots of that.

How could I forget,

you fucking hack.

So we've got all the
previous films in the series

here for you to watch.

I'm gonna be honest,

it's probably going to be tough.

It got to the point where
we were daring each other

to finish them.

Now I remember why I like
these guys in the first place.

So yeah, we can't wait to
see what to do with it.

And we promised to pay you as

That should have
been a red flag.

That didn't really happen
when all this happened,

artistic license.

Oh yeah, right,
excuse me, Kurosawa.

You know why all this
went wrong, don't you?

Karma.

For what?

For you treating me like shit.

For you treating
all of us like shit.

We are so totally enjoying this.

Enjoying what?

Enjoying what a joke
your life has become.

That's kind of harsh.

Is it Pizza Boy?

Oh, I'm sure you have
numerous projects

in varying stages
of development.

Remember that time
you saw my mother

while you're in the library
and a break from work?

Hey, they have free WiFi.

And you were working on a script

in your little pizza shirt.

How cute, loser.

And what's with
continuing to pursue me

when I clearly am
not interested.

Sorry, I just like
talking to you.

Why are you here anyway?

We never dated.

Wait, you don't have
any interest at all?

You wish, creep.

You treat me like we are dating

so I have the same type of
Eric Linson related PTSD

as all these other girls.

Okay, I get it, I'm toxic.

Why are you all socks?

Is she a paper bag?

Budget restrictions dummy.

Don't even get me started.

So who's the cougar?

Anyone home?

Yeah geez, it's fine
bro what are you doing?

I don't know, I just see
that on TV all the time

and when I play a doctor
they make me do it.

So I figure it can't hurt.

You play?

Oh shit, you're Liz Black.

Guilty.

And you are Eric Linson,

director of "Witch Pyre 14"
and other amazing titles.

Yeah, actually
how'd you know that?

Well, you puked,
then you passed out,

then you started talking
about like Chicago,

old girlfriends, "Witch
Pyre", and socks.

So "Witch Pyre" thing got me
curious and so did the socks.

Yeah, you were in
part three with the-

Nope, I'm in part 11

with the clown succubus.

So I figured, well
let me Google the guy.

So I see that we are part
of the same family of pain.

We are bad movie siblings.

Yeah, the world's a crazy place.

Yes it is.

And so the film business
must be very slow right now.

Yeah, that's basically
the situation.

-How you feeling?
-What?

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I should probably get going.

How long was I out for?

Only about 10 minutes, I think.

You are still well within
the 30 to 45 minute zone.

Just relax.

Wait, is this?

A dream, no.

I'm just saying that you
should relax, take it easy,

catch your breath.

Do you want something to drink?

I mean you still must be
tasting that puke in your mouth.

Yeah, it's gross.

Yep, water's fine.

If you bring me something
I can take care of that.

Nope, already done.

All cleaned up, no worries.

Here, I'd offer you some pizza

but probably not
feeling that right now.

I'm definitely not
feeling that right now,

I just cleaned up
all of your lunch.

Yeah, it was fast food garbage.

Oh yeah, you don't have
to tell me what was in it.

And by the way, I
wanna commend you

on your choice of cheese.

It seems like you're doing
pretty well over here.

You still acting?

Yeah, well I'm
doing like a lot of

animation voice over
stuff, you know,

it pays pretty good.

You know I do it right here,

don't have to leave the house.

So no movies or
anything right now?

Yeah, I mean there's a few,

they haven't been finished.

I mean they're sort
of in the process.

I mean the last thing that I did

was this Bates Motel rip off.

It is so bad, I hate it.

Hope it never comes out,

but it probably will,

they're just editing still.

I mean, you know how
that goes, right?

Yeah.

So what do you got in the
works in the pipeline?

I got a few projects that
I'm trying to put together.

But based off the lack
of resounding success

for my last few projects,

it's kinda hard to break
through that wall, you know?

This isn't easy stuff.

I mean, you have to keep going.

Never give up, promise me that.

Yeah, I mean it's just hard.

Especially when I'm delivering
pizzas and playing sick.

Well you weren't
playing sick for one,

you were actually sick.

Well, I mean I'm a
standardized patient

for the med school.

Right, well I've
done that gig too.

I've done many gigs,

never be ashamed
of having a job.

Yeah, right now
it's complicated.

Fair enough.

Anyway, I should
probably get outta here.

Yep, we're coming up on the
45 minute mark right now.

Are you feeling okay?

Yeah, I think so.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

I have to pay you.

Oh no, it's on the house.

No, it's not on the house
'cause I know what that means,

it means you're gonna pay
for it and you're not.

Just take this.

Thank you.

Have a good night, Eric.

-You too, Liz.
-Elizabeth.

My friends call me that.

Liz is for work.

Oh, take my business card.

Has my email on it
and my phone number.

Call anytime you want or text.

Seriously, thank you.

No problem, Pepto Bismol
helps and no dick pics, okay.

No dick pics, got it.

Hey, sorry I got...
Yeah, no worries.

The delivery called and
said you got blocked in

by some jerk in the semi

and you got the
drinks too, my man.

Hey, did the cops show
up looking for me?

The cops?

Man, get the fuck outta
here with that delivery,

it's almost in the red.

It just sucks, Michelle.

It just, it really,
really sucks,

especially in the-

-Hi.
-Hey guys.

-Summer.
-Why is that?

Those decorations
look kind of weird.

Those look like
kids' decorations.

Mercedes SUV and shoe polish,

and their parents throw
them these pool parties.

I'm the 30 something schmuck

delivering their fucking pizzas.

It just makes me feel
even more like a fuck up.

And what's worse is
I had the chance,

I got to the point where
I made all these films

and yet still here I am
with your extra cheese,

extra pepperoni, Cameron.

Who's Camryn?

She's the fictional rich
girl with the pool party.

It's a girl and she's rich.

So she probably spells
it all weird, huh?

Let me see.

C-A-M-R-Y-N.

Exactly.

Look Eric,

I know that we have not
been super tight lately.

-Oh, we haven't?
-Not, you know what I mean.

Anyway, is there something
that I'm missing?

Why are we even here?

Why are you even here?

Well, every now and then

I get the weird
urge to reconnect,

start over, rebuild.

I don't know.

I'm just in a weird
place right now

and my aunt reached out to me

and she was pretty
cool about it all

and she basically apologized
for not really stepping in

whenever I was younger.

With everything
else in the shitter,

I could really use
a support system.

And they think that
we're still together?

Yep.

Speaking of still
being together,

you should probably
put this back.

You kept it?

-I did.
-Didn't you pawn?

Pretty much
everything else, yes.

Why do you care?

About what they think, I mean?

You can't show weakness,

they thrive on it.

But you hardly ever
see these people.

It's just easier
for me, all right.

Can you please just do
this one thing for me?

We had a deal.

How's the cat?

Dr. Peter Vinkman, you mean?

I'm sorry, how is
Dr. Peter Vinkman?

He's fine.

I think he's starting to develop

some abandonment issues though.

Are we still talking
about the cat?

Dr. Peter Vinkman.

Hi guys, thanks for coming.

I'm sorry about the weather.

Michael is so happy
to see you guys.

Hey Michelle, you remember
my Aunt Lori, right?

I think you guys met
maybe once or twice.

Oh yeah, at the movie
premiere thing, right?

Yeah, and oh and Thanksgiving.

That, yeah, that was it.

So how did Michael
like his gift?

Oh yeah, he is super
into jujitsu right now,

so he was very excited.

We got him a cool
patch for his gear.

Oh, okay cool.

I am sorry I couldn't
go with you to buy that.

We were gonna come over and
watch the gifts and stuff,

but we kinda started talking.

Oh no, it's fine.

So are you guys doing okay?

Yeah.

We're great.

Good, good, I'm glad you
two are working things out.

And you Eric, how you doing?

Yeah, I mean the movies are-

I mean, you, yourself,

are you okay?

Doing as well as
can be expected.

You look a little tired.

Yeah, been busy.

You heard from your mom lately?

Not in the past couple
years, no, have you?

I don't even know where she is.

Last I heard she
had been kidnapped

and was being held in a
crack house in Chicago.

Excuse me.

Apparently that city
hates our bloodline.

-What?
-Nothing, never mind.

Well, I contacted the police
and had them look into it

and the woman,

who matches your mother's
description by the way,

told the police
that she had no idea

what they were talking about.

She wouldn't talk
to me, this woman,

so I found this all
out in the report.

So she's acting crazy again?

Eric, have you ever met
your grandfather, my father?

Yeah, I maybe once or twice.

With the black doll drama?

Doll drama?

Yeah, one Christmas
he bought my sister

a black cucumber patch doll

and it was a big deal
because supposedly he hated-

Oh, oh no, not supposedly,
really, really.

He hated that my mom
married a black guy.

Anyway, everyone thought
it was some kind of

passive aggressive racism.

Oh no, it was.

Have you ever
wondered why your mom

doesn't exactly look
like the rest of us?

It's because she had
a different father.

My father's brother.

My uncle Ron had an
affair with my mother.

Weird, but so what?

So we're trading one
distant grandpa for another?

What's this all about?

Have you ever
heard of Uncle Ron?

Not till today, no.

That's because he killed himself

when he was about your age.

I am told he suffered from
depression his whole life,

he tried to end it several times

and was finally successful.

Do you remember your mom-

Trying to OD on sleeping pills?

Or locking herself in the
garage with the car running?

Yeah, kind of remember that.

And then there's your-

What are you getting at here?

I just want you to be okay.

I want you to be informed.

I want you to talk to someone.

Okay, got it.

So we should get going.

Make sure and tell
everyone bye for us.

Eric, there's one last thing.

Okay?

I saw your last movie

and I can see that
there is truth in there

even though I don't
exactly know what happened.

Just,

look I get that that's how
you work through things,

but please don't put this
in any of your movies, okay?

You want me to
work through this?

That's how I do it.

Don't worry, I'll
change your name.

Yeah, change it to
something obvious.

-Fuck you.
-Bad word.

Bad word, bad word,
bad word, bad word,

bad word, bad word, bad word.

I wish you racist ass grandpa

would've said some shit to me.

Now I remember his
house from earlier too.

Micro budget, boy please.

Can you believe that?

I kind of agree with her.

What are you talking about?

About putting certain
things in your movies?

Great, now you too.

It makes me uncomfortable,

especially with
what's going on now,

I just don't want our stuff
out there for everyone to see.

That's how I deal with things.

That's how I process.

Remember when I said that I
would come do this with you

on one condition?

This is my one condition.

Stop using our situation

as inspiration for your
movie stuff, please.

I thought you said your
condition was to keep the cat.

Well I changed my mind.

So what about the cat?

Dr. Peter Vinkman,

I think that you
are pretty attached.

Unbelievable.

Hello?

Yeah.

Yeah, tonight I can do that.

I was, but now I'm done them.

Nope, I would actually much
rather be working right now.

All right, yeah, just
gimme an hour or something.

Working tonight?

Yep.

Need the money and
start a script about

jobs and all the bullshit.

Gonna be my next movie.

And you're gonna
make it with what?

You just said that
you needed money

and one sentence later
you're talking about

making another movie.

I hate to say this,

but maybe it's time for you
to try something different.

You've already ruined at
least two credit readings.

Yeah, that's going
in the script.

That no one will produce.

No one wants to fund you, Eric,

unless you wanna show audiences
storyboards or something.

Scene 38, interior
production studio at night.

The following sequence is
all shown via animatics,

or storyboard and voice over

with a narrator
reading stage direction

and the actors
reading the lines.

POV shot gradually
coming into focus.

A small, strange looking dark
face slowly fills the screen.

It looks childlike,
but not quite.

As the image sharpens,

we can see that
it's a doll's face.

A doll face with black features.

Some cabbage patch kid
had a baby with Chucky

using Isaac Hayes
as the sperm donor.

It's not quite a
racist caricature,

but it definitely comes
close to towing the line

of political correctness.

A beat or two to take in

the strangeness of the face
peering into the camera,

then the doll speaks,

barks is more like it.

What the hell are
you doing over here?

Get your stupid ass up.

We gotta make this day.

Reverse on Eric.

Walter the doll is
apparently talking to him.

Eric is dumbfounded.

Slowly, realization
dawns on his face.

You, my sister's
racist Christmas gift.

Man, now you're
talking bullshit.

Look, get up and
let's block this shot.

We are losing light.

Wide shot on the scene.

Eric lies on the floor as if
he's fainted or passed out.

Walter towers, as
it were, over him.

A few feet away,

a film crew stands waiting
to see what the deal is.

The crew consists of
many people we recognize.

Zombie guy as the sound man,

Martin as the director of
photography, et cetera.

Angelo is also in the crowd,

apparently is one of the actors.

Andy appears to be
one of the leads.

So is that like
a five Walter or?

No, it's not a five.

Reset for take two.

We will be ready
shortly, thanks.

Eric notices Andy.

Hey Andy, I'm sorry
about the other night.

A collective, "Ooh,"
ripples through the crew.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, no Ooh,

there's no ooh here.

I don't know what he's implying

but up until today we've
only talked via email

and mostly through my agent,

who apparently did not do as
thorough a job as I thought.

Andy turns her indignant gaze

towards the producers,

Richard, brother Malik and
Courtney, the pizza manager.

You know, this is sexual
harassment, right?

I could sue you
guys for damages.

Oh, just hold on Ms. Andrews,

I think we're blowing this
a little outta proportion.

Why don't you head
to your trailer

and cool down for
about 30, 45 minutes.

You guys will be reset
by then, right Walter?

Damn right.

Get up, loser.

Walter, you got
this, my brother?

I got it on lock, brother Malik.

Good, get it together, Eric

or we get on the
phone with Mr. Piper

and find ourselves
a new director.

Malik and Courtney
leave the set with Andy.

Mr. Piper, shit that
means we're making-

Eric glances over
at the camera slate

being held by the
assistant cameraman,

it is clearly labeled
"Witch Pyre 14."

You'd better not be a hack.

If so, I'm apparently
the 14th one.

Make your day, that is all.

Sir, if I may, Rich right?

Look, I just wanted to let
you know that my man Eric here

is doing a wonderful job
given the circumstances.

I look forward to seeing how
all this is going to turn out

as well as working
with him again.

Richard leaves the room.

Angelo looks at
Eric as if to say,

"I tried, but not
sure if it matters."

As Eric stands there trying
to figure out his next move,

a PA wheels in a chair and
makes Eric sit down in it.

Next, a mic is wheeled in,

the talk radio kind
that's on a gimbal.

Camera reveals that we
are now in scene 39,

interior, the Spooky
Knots podcast HQ.

Eric now finds
himself as a guest

on the weekly Spooky
Knots podcast.

They're like
astronauts, but spooky.

It's hosted by Creepy Charlie,

Deadly Daniel Darkside,

and Rotten Annie,

the living avatar of
death and dismemberment.

They are all typical
horror cool kids

with tats all the way
down to their fingertips.

Fulci t-shirts and terrible
attitudes to match.

Creepy Charlie
throws down the intro

and animatics cut
to the real Creepy.

Good evening folks,
and welcome once again

to another edition of
the Spooky Knots podcast,

bringing you the latest,
the greatest, the biggest,

the baddest, and the best
in modern horror fandom.

I am your host, Creepy Charlie,

being joined in the
studio as always

by my cadavers co-conspirators.

First of all, Deadly
Daniel Darkside.

Doctor Deadly Daniel Darkside.

You know... Deadly.

I would drink this blood,

but that just seems
shallow and pedantics, so.

What's that all about?

I gotta maintain my street cred

while also maintaining my
detached pseudo intellectual, so.

Are you a real doctor?

I have my PhD in
Spookology, so yes.

Moving right along.

Also joining us in
the studio, as always,

the maiden of the macabre,

the Priestess of Pulper
to the Queen of Screams,

Rotten Annie, the physical
manifestation and avatar

of death and dismemberment.

Hail Satan.

Our guest tonight, Eric Linson,

director of the Independent
Film's "Murder Mind"

and "Tenta-Kill."

Yeah, thanks for having me.

And joining you is?

Oh no, he's just
along for the ride,

I didn't have time to stop.

Excuse me, actually.

Hi, my name is Zombie Guy

and actually I am a bit of a
writer slash producer myself.

Huh, yep some might
even call me an O'Tare.

What have you ever
written or produced?

"Easy Turbo."

Please do not forget
that pre-death,

I worked as a casting assistant

for almost eight
months, all right.

And even though
I may be a member

of the living
impaired community,

I still understand
how this shit works.

You strike me as someone

who does know how
this shit works.

And, Winston you may
wanna make a note of this,

he's also testament to
overcoming adversity

in the workplace as well, man.

Yeah, and and also
this casting department

that you worked at,

is it at all reminiscent
of some obscure film,

like a name drop?

Obscurity is the coolest.

What are you working on now?

Oh, sure.

Well, I have an idea that I've
been tinkering around with

and I really just feel like
it's gonna be the next,

insert super popular
horror film here.

Sounds like a real
Fulci-esque throwback.

Big ambitions.

What's it called?

Right, so I don't really
have a title, yet.

I actually haven't
written anything,

but I did bring along today

this sexy look book for
you guys to look at.

Oh, don't look now kids,

but my undead friend here
is a bit of a player.

Oh, stop.

A player?

Are you for real?

-Hey.
-He's here by accident.

Don't hate the player,
hate the game boo.

Hashtag hate the game.

Seriously, you wouldn't even
be here if it wasn't for me.

All right, look,

before this goes any further,

I mean like, I don't
know what's going on

between the two of you here,

and in all honesty it's
of no consequence to me.

I've just got tremendous
respect for the body of work

that both of you
have accomplished.

Thank you so much.

The work?

You just met this guy
three minutes ago,

how can you really like him?

And what work?

I'm so sorry, excuse me.

Can you please not talk
to my connects like this?

You're completely
exploiting them right now.

Let's not forget that
you came here with me

for an interview about my work.

Your work, his work.

He wants to talk about his work.

Okay, great, let's do that.

Your films are shit.

Okay, let's be honest.

The only reason you even got
distribution on your last movie

was because your lead actress
was in that other movie.

Your actors are terrible

and your writing is trite.

Trite, yeah, this is
coming from a zombie guy.

And?

Yeah, but Zombie Guy
actually has a point here.

I was gonna bring it up
later in the program,

but I'm kind of happy that
it emerged organically

'cause now I feel like it's
out there on the table,

we got an open and
honest dialogue.

-Thank you.
-Really?

So you're saying your
films are infallible,

that's what you believe?

-No.
-What a fucking guy.

Can you still see
my pertinent tats?

Every last one of them, bro.

Okay.

No, that's not what I believe.

But any defense
that I give you now,

you guys are gonna think
that that's what it is

because you guys already have
your mind made up about it.

That, and obviously I'm
not one of the cool guys,

I don't wear the
fucking costume.

What costume?

You know, maybe we could
bring in our special guest

and she could help shed
some light on this situation

'cause she's got some
insider knowledge.

Great, who's this gonna be?

Joining us in the studio,

the lovely Miss Liz Black.

You'll remember
the lovely Miss Liz

from her work in the
"Witch Pyre" franchise,

and also a personal
favorite of mine,

"The Last Survivor
of the Mad Sharker"

and "Trailer Full of Corpses."

Yes, but they killed
me off so fast

in "Trailer Full of Corpses,"

-two semi sacrilate.
-No justice.

-That sucked.
-And what a death scene.

That was fucking epic.

-True story.
-Yeah, but so what,

I would've preferred to live.

Wait, this doesn't
make any sense.

I've never worked with her

and I just met her
a few days ago.

Oh, you hear that Liz.

Sparky here sounds like he
thinks he's too good for us.

Nobody cares about your little
film deal in LA sweetie.

Nice, check his privilege.

Eric, you know how
this goes, right?

By the way, are
you feeling cold?

What?

Actually, now that
you mention it,

it is getting kind
of cold in here.

Can we turn the thermostat up?

It's doesn't need to be a
little crypt in here, does it?

-This guy.
-Wow.

You know, I find that
rather offensive.

Yeah, next he's gonna be
calling us coffin jockies.

Honestly, I'm like,

feeling like really
triggered right now.

Make a note of it.

My program, definitely not
the place for a closed mind.

I mean, apparently it is,

but what's more important is,

why is this so cold in here?

Where the hell have you been?

We got three deliveries
at 40 minutes.

I'm sorry, I went
to the bathroom and-

You look like shit.

Come on man, I've
watched you work,

I know you're better than this.

Now get those pizzas,

I do not wanna
have to comp them.

Are you getting sick?

-No, I'm fine.
-Great.

Sorry, I started feeling hot

so I stepped in
there to cool off.

Yeah, here.

This one requested
you specifically.

Don't fuck this up, dude,

our numbers have been
terrible this week.

Bust a move, Eric.

The first two just
called super off.

Might have to comp their food.

At least try to get it
to 'em while it's hot.

Yeah, I need someone

to take care of this
for me right now.

Okay.

I ordered a pizza, half
pepperoni, half cheese,

clearly this is not it.

Ma'am, I'm about to
go on a delivery,

I'm sure if you're go inside,

they'll get you taken care of.

Great, this is horrible service.

Well, I can take advantage
of the portable pizza

I have in my trunk to
remake it, how's that?

I don't care what you do,

as long as you get
it right this time.

This is preposterous.

My children are starving

and they are not gonna
eat this garbage.

You and your kids can
all eat a bag of dicks

you terrible, entitled
pieces of shit.

Now get the fuck
away from my car.

I need to speak to a manager.

You want some of this?

Since you're probably not
gonna be having anymore.

You know that's really
gonna get you fired.

Anything's better than this.

Tell that to your landlord.

Oh, that was fast.

Angry mom on a mission.

-Hello.
-Is this Eric Linson?

Yes it is.

Mr. Linson, we are
contacting you about a debt

and are offering
you one last chance

before we move forward
with further action.

Now our client is willing
to take a payment today

of just $1,000-

I don't have any fucking money,

stop calling me.

No money for anyone, huh?

At least I'm not the only guy
you owe thousands of dollars.

I told you I don't
have any fucking money,

so either send the
cops or fuck off,

leave me alone.

Should I call back?

I told you about
these white girls.

Just needy, needy, needy.

Michelle?

Yeah, right now is a bad time,

I can't talk right now.

I just needed to
talk about today.

See, she's still talking.

Yeah, I'm gonna have
to stop you there.

I do have a lot going
on and I can't talk.

So fucking selfish.

You know, this is why nothing
ever worked out between us.

Yeah, okay, bye.

Do you know how you
always... Hold up.

You're not gonna turn me

into some sort of plot
device harpy or whatever,

company move.

Hey Michelle, why the long face?

What's... Not now.

Look, I know that you
have spent a lot of time

on one side of this story,

and yes, this is a
story about Eric,

but sometimes people
have their own stories

and when they intersect,

one person doesn't look
as good as the other.

Not doing a musical number.

Oh.

Eric and I were
great for a while.

We met in college
and when I finished,

I moved back here with
him to pursue his dreams,

which at the time I
thought were our dreams.

I also thought that
we were best friends,

which meant that we could
get through everything,

especially when things
got really dark for him.

I did what I could,

but I was sometimes
hurting myself.

But then I would have
to protect myself

and he would get distant

and I was afraid of being alone.

I was terrified of
not having anyone here

and all of our friends
were his friends.

Which, you know, over time I
realized was just an illusion,

but when you're in
the thick of it,

it feels pretty real.

And as you've seen,

part of me still wants to be
caught up in Hurricane Eric,

but a bigger part
of me knows that

that is not good
for either of us.

It's taken a lot of hard,
boring work to see that

and no one wants to watch that,

unless maybe you do.

♪ First I moved out
then I started therapy ♪

Nah, nah man.

We gotta get moving on

or this movie's
gonna over two hours.

But I want people
to hear my story.

I feel you.

But we gotta save
it for the sequel.

Wait, are you serious?

Girl, go ask the producers.

There they are.

Okay, so hear me out.

It's, I'm gonna say it's a
movie musical starring me

and I'll focus sort of on
my tribulations as a woman.

What was it?

Oh yeah.

You know how you always
be complaining about

bad shit all happening
at the same time

and people tell you
you're paranoid?

Yeah.

Well maybe you're not.

Maybe it's because he's toxic.

Not right now, not for this one.

Please, please, please.

Okay, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Continue, keep rolling.

Oh, this pizza goes
hard in the paint.

Hello - Eric, it's Courtney.

Dude, I cannot have you talking
to the customers like that.

I'm gonna have to let you
go when you get back here.

What the hell is happening man?

I thought this is
where you wanted to be.

What fucking 30 something

wants to be a pizza
delivery driver?

-Oh hit the spot.
-Lots of other people

would want to be here.

Okay, well call them now.

And you may wanna
remake these deliveries.

Whoa, eyes in front homie.

I'm so scared,
what about my baby?

Ma'am, I think you'll be fine.

We just wanna make
sure everything's okay.

So did you not see me or what?

Sweetie, I'm talking to you.

Ma'am, calm down.

Okay, so here's the deal,

I'm not gonna write you a ticket

'cause it's hard for me to tell
what actually happened here.

And ultimately she just
seems a little shaken up.

But you have to know that
if anything goes wrong

with that lady's pregnancy,

or something is discovered
after the child is born,

there's a good chance that
you'll be found responsible.

What does that mean?

Hopefully nothing.

But make sure you
have good insurance.

A lawyer couldn't hurt either.

Are you feeling okay, sir?

Also, I'd recommend going to
a 24 hour emergency clinic

and getting a drug test
just to be covered.

Have a nice night.

That's not good.

Hold up man, I think
he's already doing it.

Well that was way easier
than I thought it would be.

So I'm not the only one
here that's thinking about-

Look, the five second rule
is in full effect brother.

Kind of our last meal,

-am I right fellas?
-Don't ruin it.

You may be on your own
for this one, Eric.

This is probably the smartest
decision you've ever made.

You've ever made,
you've ever made.

Took you long enough,
enough, enough.

You know this is truly
some white people shit.

It always starts with me
feeling like I'm falling,

like I'm falling,
like I'm falling.

But that's a cliche,

it's not like that,

it's more like I'm
tumbling towards

who knows, pick a thing.

Eric, good to see you here, man.

Well, I know it
could probably be

under some different
circumstances, but no.

Make sure you don't drop
no blood on the floor now.

I don't know how
to make it stop.

Remember, this is
all in your head.

You can make it
stop at any time.

See.

What?

Is that Lori?

She must be waiting
on Michael, her son.

Nah man, this is about you.

Looks like you wanted
to go with them, huh?

Or maybe she wanted to
take you, but she couldn't.

I never thought
about it like that.

Well, at least not completely.

That's you thinking about that.

But then that's
you thinking about-

Brian Turner.

International pop sensation.

He was always really nice to me

even though he didn't
really have to be.

These are all of the people

that have touched
your life, man.

They were all trying to help
you as much as they can,

but they got their own lives

and they own bullshit, you know.

Who is she again?

Well, some of these people
you haven't even met yet, man.

So what are you doing here?

You really haven't
figured that out yet?

Aside from being into your band,

no, not really.

What really is it that
you like about my band?

Your music speaks to me.

Just the music?

The complexity,

the dichotomy.

Black guys playing and what's
thought of as white music.

Incorrectly thought of.

Incorrectly thought of, yes.

And also the freakiness
of it, the art.

Right, right.

So do you think any of
that has made us rich?

No, I know it hasn't.

I feel like you guys
have been shorted

and passed over repeatedly

along with more
than a few, almost.

Exactly, almost.

It's more than almost shit.

Doesn't any of this
seem familiar to you?

Actually, yeah.

You know, I bet if your
undead friend was here,

he would know
exactly what to say.

Yeah.

It is what it is.

Where are those guys anyway?

I thought they'd be around.

Man, we ain't trying
to have them in here.

I'm more or less your
spirit animal, your guide,

your totemic connection
to the Eric inside

that hasn't been
completely crushed yet.

The Eric that's still
left there to fight.

But why?

Why what?

Why should I even fight?

Why is it even worth it?

Man, don't make me have this
conversation with you again.

But you just said it yourself,

I'm just fighting against
not being completely crushed.

Well, that's true,

but you got two choices.

You can either fight.

Me just miming that
was exhausting as hell.

Okay, so what's the alternative?

Well, the alternative is you
could always just be crushed.

Isn't that what happened here?

Not exactly.

You know, you might
get pushed down

into the ground a little bit.

But what good will that do,

dealing with all that pressure?

Well see if you apply pressure,

eventually, you just
might get some diamonds

outta that doo doo.

Wait, wait.

So what do I do now?

Well, you just gotta figure out

what you're gonna do now, man.

Crush or be crushed.

You got this man.

And remember, make sure
you open up that door

for someone else one day.

Why is it always a
door. always a door?

Eric?

Finally, how you
feeling dumb-ass?

Pretty much like a dumb-ass.

And like hammered and shit.

Well, it doesn't surprise me,

I mean the amount
of blood you lost

by the time we got there,

and all this other stuff
that you had in your system.

What stuff?

All kinds of shit.

I mean, okay, so we
had walking pneumonia,

whatever the hell that is,

borderline diabetes,

probably borderline
personality disorder,

I'm not sure about that.

You had ear infections,

I mean it's no wonder that
you puked in my house,

and you had something
called peri-

Pericarditis.

Yeah, I'll have to play
that case sometimes.

Which one of those things

makes you pass out
and hallucinate.

Probably most of them.

You need to take better
care of yourself,

your body and your mind.

Clearly you have people that
care about you, talk to them.

And stop looking
at me like that,

it's freaking me out.

-Nice meeting you Elizabeth.
-And you too.

And seriously, take
care of yourself.

So do you wanna
talk about anything

that antibiotics
can't help you with?

So how did, how did?

Oh yeah,

I was your third delivery.

So I called and I
specifically requested you,

'cause I wanted to check in.

I just, I felt like after you
puked on my rug at my house

that something was
definitely not right.

So, I mean, I've seen
this kind of thing before.

So I guess you called?

Yes, I waited,

the internationally required
45 minute delivery time period

and once that expired
then I called.

But your boss, she's the one

who gave me your emergency
contact information.

Well, you talked to Michelle.

Spoke to Michelle

and whatever weird stuff
you guys have going on,

I mean, she came really quick.

I mean, she was here for you,

plus she's feeding your cat.

Well, I mean, she
gave me the cat, so.

But she gave me the address
and so I rallied the troops

and we all met at your
house, your garage.

Oh damn.

So what about Chad?

The kung fu guy
that owns the house?

Jujitsu, but yeah.

I can imagine it must
have left a huge mess.

It had to mess up his classes.

Oh no, no, no, no.

He told everybody
that he took on

like these 15
bikers that came in.

He said 15 came in,

only five went out.

So I think he signed up
like 10 students from that,

so it was really good for him.

And here you are still alive

and you're well, well,

I mean, in a way,

I mean, we can
work on this stuff.

So I guess I should
probably eat breakfast now.

At least, iHOP,
limitless coffee come on.

Well, seeing that I'm broke
and probably jobless now-

All right, all right, all
right, all right, all right.

I'll buy.

Come on, let's just
go, get your stuff.

Wait, can I leave?

Oh yeah, no, I've
worked everything out.

You're gonna be in my custody,

Michelle talked me into it.

That's pretty pathetic.

No, it's a good story.

You are not helping.

Do you know how many horror fans

that would kill to
be in my custody?

Kill themselves, you mean?

Ah, semantics.

Oh, I ran into that woman
that you had an accident with.

Is she all right?

She's good, her and
the the child are good.

She is a bitch.

But they know everything
that's going on with you

and she feels really bad

so there's nothing
to worry about.

Like in an honest way,

or like in a,

this poor degenerate,
half breed kind of way.

He's back, everybody.

Kind of a 60/40
thing, but you know.

Better than I thought.

What the fuck?

Well, they had to
examine you, I mean.

I cut my wrists, not my thighs.

Well, they had to give you

a thorough
examination apparently

from head to toe, well.

I look like... What?

Say it, say it, say it.

I was gonna say I
look like a zombie.

Eric, that is so obvious.

You're better than
that, come on.

Hey.

I didn't realize
how bad things were.

Yeah, neither did I, I guess.

-Hi Andy.
-Hi Elizabeth.

Thanks again so
much for everything.

That's no problem.

I'm gonna sign us out, okay?

Okay.

-You know her?
-Yeah.

We became really close friends

when you tried to kill yourself.

You should have talked to me.

I'm sorry.

I tried, but I'm just
not that good at talking.

If you were going
through something,

I would've listened.

Well, thank you,
I appreciate that.

So what now?

Well, I'm released
into Liz's custody-

-Elizabeth.
-Elizabeth, right.

Do you mind if I hang out
with you guys for a bit?

Of course.

Try not to be too creepy.

You're not that creepy.

Well, I carved your
name into my arm.

Oh.

Did you do Andy or Andrea?

Well, I was trying to do Andrea

and I got to Andr and
then I passed out.

You should have went with Andy.

Huh?

You should have went
with Andy, it's shorter,

you know, for the carving.

Oh, well I went to high
school with a guy named Andy

who was kind of a
douche bag to me.

I didn't want everyone to think
that it was his fault, so,

maybe I did.

Shit, you better go do it again.

That is not funny.

Did you see who it
did to my clothes?

That's good, that is good.

I love that, oh my God.

Yes, yes this is
good, this is good.

It's not too much?

No, it's reality,
it's the truth,

the truth is never too much.

It hurt.

Now show me the scene with
the girl in the apartment

at the beginning.

So you wanna see how the
actress that is playing you

is coming across?

Just shut up and play.

Actually, this is
one of my students.

I should take this.

Okay, well I know
how to play this,

-so I'm gonna watch, yeah?
-Yeah.

Okay, I'll trim any cellulite.

Cool, okay yeah, feel free.

But if you can,

send a compressed
version to Andy,

I wanna get her feedback.

I think it should
be a good time,

I think she's off work by now.

Not a problem, will do, will do.

Hey Jaylen, how's it going?

Are you still trying
to figure that out?

Okay, well tell me what
you see in your head.

Okay, okay.

If I can make a suggestion,

why not try removing
some of the dialogue?

Yeah, try that and lemme
know how it works out.

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Everybody come on ♪

♪ So such as be together ♪

♪ Make it last all night ♪

♪ Then all right ♪

♪ Unabashedly, single handedly ♪

♪ Roll with the tide ♪

♪ Lean to the side ♪

♪ Un-Unanimously, first degree ♪

♪ The mostest VIP ♪

♪ Don't you all wanna,
wanna be free, yeah ♪

So fucking selfish.

You know, this is why nothing
ever worked out between us.

Yeah, okay, bye.

Asshole.

You got that right.

I think I'm losing my mind.

No, sister, you're just stressed
out because of the show.

Now let's run those lines

so you don't look like an
idiot on stage next week.

Do you smell burning popcorn?

♪ Guaranteed to give
you what you need ♪

♪ Come on, get it ♪

♪ All you need is you ♪

♪ To make the break through ♪

♪ So gimme, gimme, gimme,
gimme, gimme a sign ♪

♪ Just check out your minds ♪

♪ Conversation ♪

♪ Being together ♪

♪ We can last all night ♪

♪ They all right ♪

Sex face, sex face, sex face

Thank you guys, thank you.

Sex face, sex face, sex
face, sex face, sex face.

Sex face, sex face, sex
face, sex face, sex face.

Come on.

That was a great show,

just let me have this one.

Oh Brian, that's not what
an Ineptrechaun does.

Oh no.

Bitch, you think I didn't
see you missed that cue

in the third number?

And thank God they
invented pitch correction

'cause the whole
second half of the show

would've sounded like three
cats fighting in a dumpster.

Smells like pizza in here.

Did you eat pizza
before the show, fatty?

No wonder it looked like
you were dancing underwater.

No, no, no.

♪ Self conscious ♪

♪ Self conscious ♪

♪ Self conscious ♪

♪ Didn't give a ton of
shining with style ♪

♪ Challenging the
eyes of humanity ♪

♪ The adoptive road to
the subconscious mind ♪

♪ Ghost and memory ♪

♪ Laying it on the line ♪

♪ Well, I'm a soldier of love ♪

♪ With a unrelenting quest ♪

♪ To wear my
resentment to rest ♪

♪ I'm addicted to love ♪

♪ I can fall in this ♪

♪ Tired nation ♪

♪ Spread your love through
the radio station ♪

♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme a sign ♪

♪ For that bright light ♪

♪ When it feels right ♪

♪ I'm gone take flight ♪

♪ It's the night life ♪

♪ Two can be wild ♪

♪ Searching my could
for my inner child ♪

♪ Self conscious, inner child ♪

♪ We're together, oh yeah ♪

♪ We can last all night ♪

♪ Last all night ♪

♪ It's all right,
it's all right ♪

♪ Soul searching,
soul searching ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We can last all
night, all right ♪

♪ Then all right, all night ♪

♪ Soul searching ♪

♪ All right, all right ♪

♪ Soul searching ♪

♪ All night, all night ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

You think we kind
of did Eric dirty?

I mean, the dude
has some good ideas.

I think we made
the right decision.

I don't think he's in
alignment with our message.

Something tells me we made
the wrong call though.

You're right, they should
listen to you more often.

What the hell is that?

I'm the voice inside his head,

you've got one too.

What's up playboy?

But seriously, Clarence,
let's drop the bullshit

and actually use that
economics degree.

Real talk.

Malik, what's yours say?

This is some bullshit.