All language subtitles for still_standing_s04e16_saying_i_love_you

Hey, loser.

Get out. The Meteorology Club has very
important matters to decide.

I think you should decide on stronger
deodorant.

Guys, this is my sister Lauren. She'll
be taking your order in about ten years.

Get out. I'm not going anywhere. I got
here first.

Well, we have a big Meteorology Club
meeting.

We have a budget surplus of $4 ,000 this
year, and we're deciding how to use it.

You nerds have four grand?

That's right, baby. Four Gs.

And I'm guessing none of those Gs are
girlfriends.

Ooh, chocolates. Can I have one?

Tina, because I love you, I'm going to
warn you, you're about to lose that

Just back away.

Please?

These are Mommy's expensive candy that
Daddy gets her once a year. They're very

special, and they're only for Mommy. You
don't want anything this fancy.

Yes, I do.

Dad dropped some M &Ms on the floor of
his car.

I'm on it.

Hey, Tina. Out of my way.

So, who's ready to go see Oprah?

I can't believe we're going to finally
see her in person.

I am wearing the makeup she says to
wear, the colors she says to wear, and

bra she says to wear.

Thanks to Oprah, I'm my own woman.

Finally going to experience the big O.

Probably been a while for you, huh,
Linda?

Yeah, not like Judy who gets the big,
oh, that's it.

I don't get this whole Oprah thing. All
these women who can't get through a day

without her. It's like some sad
addiction.

Why are you drinking two beers at 9 o
'clock in the morning?

I'm spending the day with my mom.

And we don't have three.

It's great to see you.

Let's hit the road.

There's a big sale on foundation
garments. We need to get there before

queens.

I'm almost numb. I mean, ready.

Hey, Louise.

There's my beautiful daughter -in -law.
I love you. And I love that purse.

Oh? Oh, well, I got it at the outlet
store. Why don't you come shopping with

and I'll show you where?

Oh, I wish I could, but, uh...

Linda and I have other plans. We're
going to see Oprah today.

Oprah?

Oprah Winfrey?

Good guess.

Oh, my God, I just love Oprah. I would
just die if I got to see her show. Just

die!

That sounds great. Judy, why don't you
take her?

We only have two tickets, unfortunately.

Oh, no, you just...

Order two?

Well, we ordered them six years ago. You
didn't even live here back then. If we

had an extra ticket, you'd get it.

You're just saying that. You wouldn't
want to spend the whole day with your

annoying old mother -in -law. Oh, don't
be silly, Louise. That couldn't be

further from the truth. If I could take
you, I definitely would.

Damn it!

You're not going to believe this. That
was work. I can't go to Oprah.

You're going to have to give my ticket
to somebody else.

You two have fun.

I'm still in love with you today because
you make me happy.

Oh, Judy, this is so exciting. Thank you
for taking me.

So, I guess you didn't want to spring
for the good seats?

Louise, the seats are first come, first
served. And we're back here because we

had to stop four times on the way over
so that you could pee.

Sorry, it's from the medication.

Next time I'll hold it and wreak
infection.

That's all I'm asking.

It's freezing in here.

Who's Oprah's guest today, a side of
beef?

I told you to bring your sweater.

Well, I didn't know they were going to
take my coat away like I'm a terrorist.

Judy, would you be a dear, please, and
run to the car and get me my sweater?

No, not now, Louise. We just got here. I
don't want to go all the way back to

the car.

Fine. But if we're going to brave these
tender -like conditions, we'd better

share each other's bodily warmth.

I'll go get the sweater.

Excuse me, ma 'am.

I have a seat in there. Oh, I'm sorry.

Today I can't let you in until that red
light goes off.

Okay, when does it go off? Right after
the show's over.

What?

No. No, you have to let me in there.
I've waited six years for this.

Oprah owes me.

I write books because of her. Thick
books without pictures.

And I don't like to read.

I just keep people out when the red
light is on.

So you're not the only one who goes home
empty -handed. I'd like to give you

this complimentary mug.

That's very sweet of you.

What do you mean, so I'm not the only
one who goes home empty -handed?

Oprah just gave everyone in the audience
a new car.

I think this car is yours.

Well, Judy, Oprah gave it to me.

Oprah did not give it to you. She gave
one to everyone in the audience where I

would have been if it weren't for you
and your damn sweater. This car is mine.

Judy, be rational.

What if Oprah came over and didn't see
the car in my driveway? What would I say

to her?

Oprah is not showing up at your door.

A week ago, you wouldn't have thought
Oprah was going to give me a car.

But she did.

She does have a point, Judy, which I
think is wrong. Mom!

Judy, this is my car.

Oprah wanted me to have it.

Although Johnny did buy me a new car a
week ago, so I don't know where I'm

to park it. Wait, this is your second
car in a month?

Yeah.

When you give to the world, it gives
back. Give me the keys! Give me the

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

This is fixable, okay? What we have here
is one car and two people who want it.

The obvious way to settle this, a bake
-off.

Ladies, to your ovens, you have one
hour.

Look, Louise, I know that deep down
inside, you are a

decent person.

And maybe I overreacted, but I'm asking
you to look inside your heart and listen

carefully to what it tells you to do.

It tells me to keep the car. Give me the
keys! Give me the keys!

crazy take a breath and think about the
best way to handle this you are

absolutely right I am going to kill your
mother

and then I'm going to drive that car to
her funeral

then you'd go to prison and while that's
hot I don't know

where anything is around here

You need to fix this. This is
ridiculous. She doesn't even need it.

brand -new cars, and I have one crappy
minivan that's on its last legs.

Have you calmed her down, Billy?

You know what you need to do.

I'll leave you two alone.

Oh, she has got a lot of anger issues.

Maybe she should have gotten tickets to
Dr. Phil.

You know, Mom, she does have a point.
Those were her tickets, and she was nice

enough to share them with you.

That's true.

And you have a better life than her. I
mean, you know, you have Johnny and the

dogs, and all she has is me and the
kids.

Besides, you know, you really love Judy.

You're right, I do.

I suppose she does have some claim to
that car.

Of course.

I think I can find it in my heart to
give it to her. Of course.

On one condition.

Of course.

I want to hear from Judy that she loves
me.

That's it?

That's it.

She just has to tell you that she loves
you and you give her a car?

I just want to hear those words.

I said it to you when you were in the
hospital and I got squat.

I recovered. That was my gift to you.

Yeah, thanks for that. I'll be right
back.

This is good. This is very good.

The car is mine. Very close.

You just have to tell her you love her.
If she hears that from you, she'll give

you the car.

That... That is really pathetic.

Forcing me to say I love her. Oh, come
on, Judy. It's just words. You can say I

love you without meaning it. I do it all
the time.

But not with you. With the kids.

Just I love you, that's it?

Well, I guess I could manage that.

I mean, I do feel love for her. You
know, sometimes.

Maybe not now, but at some point.

Well, it's like you said. You know, I
could fake it. Send her.

Great. Mom?

Yes?

Judy has something she'd like to say to
you.

Really? Yes, please.

Something you want to hear from the
heart.

Oh, Judy.

It means so much to me. Yep, Louise,
I... By saying these words, you're

admitting that you've never appreciated
anything I've done for you.

Okay, so anyway, I... And it's not just
that you are so ungrateful, but you can

also be very cold.

But I've learned to accept that. That's
just who you are.

Okay, Louise, could you just let me get
this out? I'm so excited that you

finally... how horrible a person you've
been to me all these years.

How mean and selfish and dismissive. Oh,
and that temper.

Would you just shut up?

It's hardly a lead -in to I love you.
Yeah, but it's a lead -in to I hate you

because I hate you, I hate you!

That's the exact opposite of I love you.
So this rotten hell, you crazy old

lady!

She has a hard time expressing emotion.

So, we've narrowed down the choices on
how to spend the $4 ,000 in the

Meteorology Club fund. They are a
barometer for the clock tower or a state

-the -art weather balloon.

Have we totally ruled out cool leather
jackets at the Meteorology Club?

I've created several possible logos.

Hey, boys.

Sorry we're late.

Late? Late for what?

The meeting.

We decided to join the meteorology club.

Hold on. Since when do you guys care
about meteorology?

I love meteors.

And the study of their ology.

Meteorology is not about meteors. It's
about weather. Nice try.

You guys seem to be the experts.

Maybe you could teach us about it.

We were just in the middle of deciding
what to do with our money. It's between

barometer and a weather balloon.

How about a ski trip?

Ski trip sounds good.

Ooh, I'm hearing a lot of support for
the ski trip.

I knew you were up to something, and we
are not wasting our club money on a ski

trip. We'll also use some of the money
to buy bathing suits for the resort hot

tub. Boo!

Sorry, Brian.

All right, I'm sorry, but as your
president, I'm afraid I can't stand for

misuse of club funds. I'm going to have
to invoke my... I move to impeach

President Brian Miller. All in favor?

Aye.

Kim. do that, it's against the rules. I
move to change the rules. All in favor?

Aye. All in favor of him going quietly?
Aye.

I would like to hear a little more about
these bathing suits.

So there's no way you can give this
another shot?

It's just I love you.

No. Like, it's not about that. She wants
me to take the blame for all the bad

feelings between us over the past 19
years.

She wants to put my soul in a little jar
on her mantle.

You can go next to mine.

Listen, deep down, you really do love
her.

I know I'd love to see her torn apart by
bears.

Actually, that's not a bad idea.

Just say the word and I'll reserve the
campsite. No, now, tell her you'd love

see her torn apart by bears, but only
say the words, I love you, out loud.

So she thinks you really love her, but
in your heart, you know hers is being

eaten by a grizzly.

That's a nice thought.

But no, no, I'm not going to stoop to
her level with some underhanded trick. I

don't need the stupid car.

Oh,

so not fair!

She can't win!

She cannot win!

Hello, my little Billy Willie.

Judy. Hey, Louise.

So I'm told you have something to say to
me.

I hope it's not another rotten hell, you
crazy old lady rotten hell.

No, and I want to apologize for that,
but the reason I asked you over here

is because I want to tell you something
that I should have said to you the other

day.

Louise.

I love you.

I would love to see me torn apart by the
hair.

How'd you know I said that?

I am taking a lip reading class at the
Learning Annex.

So I know what the ladies at the nail
salon are whispering about me.

This is just the kind of mean trick that
proves my point. I'm afraid now that

there is no way I can ever give you my
car.

Louise, the last thing I would want you
to think is that I was playing some kind

of mean trick. Give me those keys. Ow!

I'm not going anywhere.

Neither am I.

Hope you don't have to pee, old lady.

If I do.

We're in this together.

Fifteen -minute ride to Oprah, you gotta
pee four times.

Six hours in the car today, dry as a
bone.

I'm doing my kegel exercises. It helps
keep pee from coming out.

You have anything for puke?

This is crazy.

I insist the two of you stop being so
selfish and come inside and make me

dinner. Make it yourself.

Here's some hard candy, Billy.

That might have worked when I was
little, but ooh, butterscotch. I've had

since I was little.

It just breaks my heart.

This all could have been avoided if only
you were willing to be nice to a lady

that doesn't have that many years left.

Okay. You know what, Louise?

Enough with the martyr act.

It's not an act.

It hurts me to know that you'd rather we
both rot in this car than you tell me

you love me.

No, you didn't want me just to say I
loved you. You wanted me to beg and

That doesn't seem like love to me. Okay,
maybe I was a little bit petty, but I

say I love you all the time, and you
respond with thanks or hello, or most

recently, I hate you.

You can't blame me for wanting to hear
you say those words.

But if you have to force it out of
people, it is meaningless.

Is that what you want, Louise?

To hold people hostage until they say
what you want to hear just to shut you

You're right.

Take the car.

It's not that I don't love you.

But there's other ways that I express
myself without actually saying the word.

Name one.

You're still alive, aren't you?

Judy, the morning of the Oprah taping, I
was so happy when you said that you

would invite me if only you had an extra
ticket.

And then when a ticket became available,
I saw the look on your face.

You're stuck with me.

It really hurts.

I need to apologize for that, Louise.

But sometimes you really know how to
push my buttons.

You can be controlling and needy and
manipulative. Nice apology.

What's next, a punch in the face?

But underneath it all, you're my family.

You're the mother of my husband.

And I love you.

Oh, Judy.

That is so nice.

I appreciate it so much.

Now I'm going to do something really
nice for you. Something I haven't done

anyone. Not even my own kids.

These are my very special chocolates
that I never share with... What

the hell?

into my chocolates.

Oh, I had a few of those the other day.

A few?

There's one left with a bite out of it.

I don't like maple cream.

I... I... You love me and you can't take
it back.