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1
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,480
Isn't anyone going to make dinner around
here? I'm starving.
2
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,140
Can I eat this?
3
00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:09,780
Yeah, go ahead.
4
00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:12,040
How?
5
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:15,520
Okay, that's it. We have to go get Dad.
6
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,780
Yeah, ever since Kyle Polsky moved in
next door, all Dad does is goof off with
7
00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:21,040
that big, stupid, rich guy.
8
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:22,580
That's not so bad.
9
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,100
Yeah, you only like him because he
bought $1 ,000 worth of Girl Scout
10
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:27,540
Got me a badge.
11
00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:31,140
Hey, I bet he still has some cookies
left.
12
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:32,360
Of course he does.
13
00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:36,460
Wait. Dad has been over there for a few
hours. Come on, we better hurry.
14
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:39,640
70 -inch plasma.
15
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,120
Biggest one they make. She's a beauty.
16
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,900
Only problem is, when I recline, I can't
see it.
17
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,920
So, I had another one built into the
ceiling.
18
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,620
Oh, wow.
19
00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:54,220
Untouchables. Great flick.
20
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:59,100
They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He
sends one of yours to the hospital, you
21
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,740
send one of his to the morgue.
22
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,780
That's the Chicago way.
23
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:08,160
Dude, that is the worst Katharine
Hepburn I have ever heard.
24
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:13,120
Hey, Dad, we had to interrupt your
little play date with Kyle, but we're
25
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:13,999
and abandoned.
26
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,340
Yeah, you are so dead. When Mom finds
out that you've been spending all your
27
00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:21,040
time over here slacking off while she's
at work, she is going to be so steamed.
28
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,160
Wow.
29
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,760
really does come right out of your
pores.
30
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:32,640
Hi.
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00:01:36,060 --> 00:01:36,820
Got
32
00:01:36,820 --> 00:01:45,620
some
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leftover Chinese, a can with no label,
and some moldy cheese.
34
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:54,580
What will that make?
35
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,000
Me? Vomit.
36
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,900
Hey, Perry, I think I found the perfect
fabric for our couch. You know what?
37
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,180
When you come back from Reno this
weekend, we'll just... What do you mean
38
00:02:04,180 --> 00:02:05,180
not coming home?
39
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,700
Honey, it's our six -month anniversary.
40
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:09,380
What do you mean, a what?
41
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,620
Oh, sounds like trouble. You know, I did
have a feeling that marriage wouldn't
42
00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:15,620
last six months.
43
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,900
It would be sad if I didn't bet on it.
Pay up.
44
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,460
But they're not divorced yet.
45
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,320
If they make it one more week, you owe
me 50 bucks.
46
00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:25,700
You jerk!
47
00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:28,870
My so -called husband isn't coming home
for our anniversary. You know what? I've
48
00:02:28,870 --> 00:02:31,650
had it with him. Hey, marriage is hard.
49
00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:35,930
The key is to get past the first six
months. After that, divorce away.
50
00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:41,050
Hey, no, don't listen to her. You know,
cut your losses.
51
00:02:41,290 --> 00:02:42,290
Just move on.
52
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:47,110
I want you to cut it out. You can do
enough gambling later when you eat
53
00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:48,110
this is.
54
00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:53,170
With Perry's excuse now.
55
00:02:53,510 --> 00:02:54,510
Oh, well.
56
00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:58,000
He says he can't come back from Reno
because his band keeps selling out.
57
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,620
He's in a plug hat cover band they sold
out long ago.
58
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,800
They keep adding extra shows.
59
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,040
I mean, he's just so busy he never comes
home and he barely returns my phone
60
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,780
call. That is not good. You need to
talk. A marriage cannot survive without
61
00:03:11,780 --> 00:03:14,140
communication. Where's my dinner, wife?
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00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:15,099
Shut it!
63
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:16,100
Okay.
64
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,480
I feel like I'm the only one putting any
effort into this relationship, you
65
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,500
know? I mean, I've been trying to
redecorate our apartment for months to
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00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:27,020
home for us, but Perry doesn't seem the
least bit interested.
67
00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:30,660
If he won't come to you for your
anniversary, why don't you just go to
68
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:31,879
You know what?
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00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:32,880
I like that.
70
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:34,100
Okay.
71
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,620
Hey, honey, it's me. Listen, good news.
I'm going to come to Reno.
72
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,360
Okay.
73
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:42,900
Okay.
74
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,960
Great. He said he's too busy and told me
not to come.
75
00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:51,920
undesirable that my husband doesn't want
to be in the same city with me. Again,
76
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:52,960
shut it.
77
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,800
I was just going to say, whatever you're
cooking is starting to smell like tar.
78
00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:58,780
Oh, dinner's ready!
79
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:08,200
30 minutes! I got the crappy crapper.
80
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:10,980
Excuse me, Judy.
81
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,140
What are you doing? I thought you were
coming with me to the fabric store to
82
00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:15,140
return my sample.
83
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,660
I'm sorry. When I said, yeah, right, I
meant, yeah, right.
84
00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:21,420
I've been very busy.
85
00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:24,040
I don't have time to goof around with
you.
86
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:28,280
Sir, madam, your root beer floats
already.
87
00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:29,620
Rachel!
88
00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:31,140
Hey,
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00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,120
Linda.
90
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,260
Is this your first visit to Polsky
Manor?
91
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,420
Yeah, very Chuck E. Cheese -y.
92
00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:45,700
After my third divorce, I decided I was
going to live my life exactly the way I
93
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,920
want. How's that working out for you,
Kyle?
94
00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:49,840
I happen to be very lonely.
95
00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:53,560
Really, I would think the girls would
love this place, at least the ones who
96
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,560
have gone wild.
97
00:04:55,140 --> 00:04:59,400
Yeah, but after five years of being
single, I sort of got a little tired of
98
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,400
kind of girl.
99
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,620
It'd be nice to attract a more grown -up
woman.
100
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,120
Well, Kyle, perhaps it would help if you
lived like a grown -up. I mean, what is
101
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:10,200
it about guys who have some aversion to
adult furniture? Would it kill you to
102
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,200
buy a sofa?
103
00:05:11,359 --> 00:05:14,840
I have a sofa right here.
104
00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:19,240
Well, you might want to consider
classing up your activator. You might
105
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,860
with a woman you also have to blow up.
106
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,700
I don't know anything about furniture.
107
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,760
I'm not a classy lady like you.
108
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:27,760
Classy?
109
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,720
Yes, I have acquired a certain je ne
sais quoi.
110
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:37,280
For instance, perhaps I would put a
sectional over here and...
111
00:05:37,950 --> 00:05:40,650
Perhaps a nice, tasteful armoire over
here.
112
00:05:41,510 --> 00:05:42,510
So you'd help me?
113
00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:43,990
Yeah, why not?
114
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:47,510
You know, I was going to redo my place,
but since that's not happening, why
115
00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:49,070
don't I bring over my swatches and get
busy?
116
00:05:49,490 --> 00:05:50,590
Yeah, let's get busy.
117
00:05:51,610 --> 00:05:54,070
I mean, let's do it.
118
00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:56,570
I mean, let's have sectionals.
119
00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:06,570
Football time at Kyle's house. Doo -dah,
doo -dah.
120
00:06:07,419 --> 00:06:10,860
Every Sunday, I get soused all the
doodah day.
121
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:19,480
I asked for the couch, and where's the
TV? Did I come on the wrong doodah day?
122
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:24,300
No, I got rid of the TV and decided to
put a painting there.
123
00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,760
Well, at least we can still watch the...
Ah!
124
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:28,680
What's that?
125
00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:30,620
Ah, a chandelier.
126
00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:32,380
Why?
127
00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:34,540
I'm just helping me redecorate.
128
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,200
Why?
129
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,340
So I can settle down, meet a better
quality of woman.
130
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,640
Why?
131
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:45,980
I know you have issues with Linda, but I
like these changes.
132
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:49,640
If you really are my friend, you will
support me on this.
133
00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:56,980
Absolutely. If this is what makes you
happy, I'll support you 100%. We gotta
134
00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:57,980
kill Linda.
135
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,300
What for this time?
136
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,140
She's ruining Kyle.
137
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:06,540
She's redoing his house and making him
grow up to meet a decent woman.
138
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,460
Well, maybe that's a good thing. You
can't live like a child forever.
139
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,020
Ping -pong table, gone.
140
00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:13,480
Ceiling TV, gone.
141
00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:16,400
You cannot blame Linda. Steam room,
gone.
142
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,040
That meddling bitch.
143
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,260
Where's that going?
144
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:24,910
How'd you get rid of a few things?
145
00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:29,050
The skee -ball machine. I'm 50 tickets
away from winning the giant cone.
146
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:35,050
Bill, it's Kyle's house. Obviously, he's
an adult and he can... Bill, the
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00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:37,530
tanning bed. Link arms with me. We're
not letting it out.
148
00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:40,550
We need to get rid of something to make
room for the armor.
149
00:07:40,830 --> 00:07:42,270
I know what we can get rid of.
150
00:07:43,190 --> 00:07:45,310
Oh, Bill, bad news.
151
00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:48,050
I can't go with you to the Bulls game
tonight.
152
00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:49,590
What? Why?
153
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:53,010
Because I'm taking a wine -tasting class
with Linda instead.
154
00:07:53,570 --> 00:07:55,310
Ruin her! Ruin her of man!
155
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,430
Bill, don't be like that.
156
00:07:59,030 --> 00:08:02,670
So, you and Kyle are going to a wine
-tasting class.
157
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,490
Yeah, well, the other night while we
were at dinner, I picked out a bottle of
158
00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:10,050
wine that he really enjoyed. So, after
the movie... Wait, wait, wait. Dinner
159
00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:10,909
a movie?
160
00:08:10,910 --> 00:08:13,690
Yeah. Yeah, we really like spending time
with each other. Yeah.
161
00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:14,950
It's called dating.
162
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:19,080
There's only one problem with it. You're
married. And believe me, if you could
163
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,200
date other people while you were
married, my entire calendar would be
164
00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:28,060
Hey, Judy, I'm just redecorating. It's
fun, and Kyle likes my ideas, okay?
165
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:32,960
Linda, you're doing this because you're
upset with Perry. You need to confront
166
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,520
him about why he is shutting you out of
his life instead of flirting with
167
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,319
another guy.
168
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,980
Relax. I am not flirting with Kyle.
169
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:44,740
Just, you know, I was all set to nest
with Perry, but he's not around, so...
170
00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:46,410
Now I'm doing it with Kyle.
171
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:51,090
Well, just remember, this is not your
house, and Kyle is not your husband.
172
00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:53,570
Your husband said to put this in the
guest room. Oh, my God.
173
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,510
This is like him, the big goof. No, it
goes in our bedroom.
174
00:08:57,130 --> 00:08:58,130
His bedroom.
175
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:01,990
Where's Kyle?
176
00:09:02,050 --> 00:09:04,230
Signing for drapes. I have to look away.
177
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,600
This is only happening because that
bonehead Perry's been out of town for so
178
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,320
long. Look, I know you shot this down
early.
179
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:13,960
We are not killing my sister.
180
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,560
Well, I bet Perry would be here in a
second if he thought Kyle and Linda were
181
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:19,560
fooling around.
182
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,180
Maybe someone could make an anonymous
call to Reno.
183
00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:27,620
That would be a terrible thing to do.
184
00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:31,140
Oh, look. I just wrote Perry's number
down in Reno.
185
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:34,520
Oh, look. I just dropped some change.
186
00:09:35,710 --> 00:09:38,710
And on a side note, there's a payphone
on the corner you could walk to.
187
00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:41,470
Jeannie, I'm starting to lose faith in
this plan.
188
00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:43,230
I'll drive you. Genius. Let's go.
189
00:09:48,110 --> 00:09:49,110
Linda,
190
00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:51,509
it's Perry.
191
00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:53,510
I've come back from Reno to talk to you.
192
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:57,830
Linda, open this door, but I'll have a
guard open this door.
193
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:01,750
It's open.
194
00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:05,490
Where's my wife?
195
00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:07,050
Did you check your apartment?
196
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:08,350
Of course.
197
00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:11,810
I've neglected my precious treasure, and
now I fear she's been stolen from me.
198
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:14,150
She might be at Kyle's house, next door.
199
00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:15,870
Kyle? Polsky?
200
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,410
Where's that bastard live?
201
00:10:18,070 --> 00:10:19,470
Once again, right next door.
202
00:10:20,390 --> 00:10:21,209
Don't you?
203
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:22,390
Sweep her off her feet.
204
00:10:22,630 --> 00:10:26,670
Yeah. I'm off to reclaim my woman, my
last chance at happiness, and that Kyle
205
00:10:26,670 --> 00:10:28,610
will pay for what he's done. He will
pay!
206
00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:31,950
By the way, here's a snow globe from
Reno.
207
00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:33,770
Chat later.
208
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:39,910
Hey, sounds like he's really gonna fight
to get Linda back. That's 50 bucks. Bad
209
00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:40,910
news for you, Brian.
210
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:43,590
Oh, really? Well, did you happen to see
the bouquet?
211
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:45,750
Carnations?
212
00:10:46,030 --> 00:10:47,030
I don't think so.
213
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:51,090
Our gay son is right. Perry's gonna need
some help.
214
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:53,430
You were right about him. I'm not gay!
215
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,250
No, I mean Perry.
216
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:59,070
But for the record, who didn't notice
they were carnations?
217
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,530
Oh, hello.
218
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,000
What have we here?
219
00:11:06,140 --> 00:11:07,140
Harry?
220
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:08,620
Harry.
221
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,060
Hey, hey, hey!
222
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,340
We haven't Scotchgarded yet.
223
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:18,260
Well, I haven't Scotchgarded my heart,
which has been stained by your deceit.
224
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,000
That is a fantastic lyric.
225
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,260
Oi, wine face, you got a pencil?
226
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:29,060
No! I got an anonymous call from someone
who said you'd taken up with Kyle. So I
227
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:32,500
got on the first plane back to tell you
that I love you and I'll be lost without
228
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:33,500
you.
229
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:38,080
Stay. You flew all the way back here to
prove your love because you thought I
230
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,080
was cheating on you?
231
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,220
That's right, lover.
232
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,480
Oh.
233
00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:43,680
Stop it! Shut down!
234
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,440
No, really, Perry. I mean, you wouldn't
come home for our anniversary, but you
235
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:53,720
suddenly show up to throw around some
crazy accusations. Come on, Linda. The
236
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,680
of you all cozy on a couch, which hasn't
been scotch -guarded like my heart,
237
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,580
which is... Damn, I forgot the lyrics.
238
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,880
I believe it was stained by your deceit.
That's right.
239
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:08,120
We're just taking a wine class together,
okay? There's nothing going on. I take
240
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,560
my vows very seriously. You're the one
who's got some secret life in Reno that
241
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:14,680
can't even be part of. Well, I heard
from a very reliable source that
242
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,160
was amiss here. What reliable source?
243
00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:17,660
Catherine Hepburn.
244
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:22,420
Catherine Hepburn? That was a dead -on
Sean Connery.
245
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,640
Perry, your wife is sleeping with Kyle
Polsky.
246
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:29,840
I've said too much.
247
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,820
It actually looks like Linda and Perry
are going to break up.
248
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:42,180
That's too bad.
249
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,220
I really like Perry.
250
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,620
Not as much as I like 50 bucks.
251
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:48,800
I wouldn't start e -bidding on a
lightsaber just yet.
252
00:12:49,940 --> 00:12:53,100
In fact, why don't we make this bet a
little more interesting?
253
00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:54,420
I'm listening.
254
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:58,940
If you lose, you have to make out with
whoever I open this yearbook to.
255
00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:03,960
Okay, but if you lose, you have to make
out with whoever I open the yearbook to.
256
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:05,780
Deal. You go first.
257
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,300
All right.
258
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:12,540
Aha! You have to make out with... me.
259
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:14,820
Do -do -over.
260
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:17,460
Aha!
261
00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:21,320
Nelson Dimmick.
262
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:25,280
The kid with the laminated hall pass
because of his special bathroom needs?
263
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:27,240
The deal's a deal. Your turn.
264
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,180
Mrs.
265
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,720
Felsey, the cafeteria lady?
266
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,000
A word of advice.
267
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,360
Avoid kissing her on Fajita Friday.
268
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,140
Believe me, the same goes for Dimmick.
269
00:13:44,860 --> 00:13:47,460
Linda, sweetie, we need to talk.
270
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:49,180
What's the point?
271
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,600
Perry really loves you.
272
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:54,320
You should go and work this out with
him.
273
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:59,520
I don't know, Judy. I mean, our marriage
was already in trouble even before Sean
274
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,520
Connery got involved.
275
00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:04,820
And he avoids me for months and then
marches in here and makes a big scene.
276
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:06,930
It was romantic.
277
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:11,750
The only time Bill ever swept me off my
feet was when I almost stepped on a
278
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:12,750
peanut butter cup.
279
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:17,990
Go tell Perry you love him and that
nothing happened between you and Kyle.
280
00:14:18,910 --> 00:14:20,110
Nothing happened, right?
281
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,030
No, no, no.
282
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,390
Not really.
283
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:25,910
Not really?
284
00:14:26,610 --> 00:14:31,810
Well, something might have sort of kind
of could have happened, but, you know,
285
00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:34,150
Perry barged in, and now I'll never
know.
286
00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:35,430
What are you talking about? What are you
talking about?
287
00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:37,550
There was a feeling.
288
00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:39,190
He felt you up?
289
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:42,610
No, don't be crazy. I'm a married woman.
You felt him up.
290
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,490
Don't set anybody up, okay?
291
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:50,950
No, I was just sitting there drinking my
wine in my dream living room with a guy
292
00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:54,610
who actually wants to spend some time
with me. I mean, I can't say it wasn't
293
00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:55,610
tempting.
294
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:58,090
You're not thinking of taking up with
Kyle, are you?
295
00:14:58,810 --> 00:14:59,810
I don't know.
296
00:14:59,910 --> 00:15:01,310
I guess it depends on Perry.
297
00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:04,720
Go to him, girl. He's waiting for you
right now.
298
00:15:06,260 --> 00:15:07,260
Shut up, Bill.
299
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:09,940
I've got to go take a shower.
300
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,080
Don't use all the hot water.
301
00:15:13,060 --> 00:15:16,980
Bill, I think we might have broken up my
sister's marriage for a stupid steam
302
00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:18,260
room. This is terrible.
303
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,260
Nothing's going to happen between Kyle
and Linda. He's used to strippers and
304
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:25,960
bimbos. He's not going to lower his
standards just to date Linda.
305
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:30,220
Even so, I hate to see her hurting like
this.
306
00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:34,670
We need to talk to Perry and fix it. If
anyone can show him what love is, it's
307
00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:36,010
us. Judy, Judy.
308
00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:39,890
You're so romantic.
309
00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:42,550
Nah, it's just a wrapper.
310
00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:53,430
Oh, it's you, sir.
311
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:55,250
Yeah.
312
00:15:55,610 --> 00:15:59,510
Listen, Perry, Bill's real sorry about
the phone call.
313
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,840
He was just doing what he thought was
best in someone else's voice.
314
00:16:05,940 --> 00:16:06,980
You see this wallpaper?
315
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,540
She's got an eye, my Linda.
316
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,820
I'd love to have made a home with her.
317
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,160
You still can.
318
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:17,260
It's not too late to save your marriage.
319
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:20,220
I can't compete with a guy like Kyle.
320
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,280
I mean, he's rich and he's here.
321
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,260
And he's been married several times
before, so he's obviously good at it.
322
00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:31,380
Harry, don't you put yourself down. You
are a big rock star in Reno.
323
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,160
You got your own fog hat cover band.
324
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:40,540
You stand on stage night after night
playing Slow Ride and that other hit.
325
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,740
I'm not a rock star. I'm a fraud.
326
00:16:45,180 --> 00:16:48,120
Of course you are. You're not the real
fog hat.
327
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,240
Did you think you were the real fog hat?
328
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,500
No, no, I haven't.
329
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,720
A secret shame, and it's the reason I
haven't wanted Linda to come and visit.
330
00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:02,080
Perry, nothing you've done will stop
Linda from wanting you back.
331
00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:03,460
Oh, no.
332
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,140
This is how I've been spending my
nights.
333
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,500
Oh, my God.
334
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,960
Perry, what are you doing here?
335
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:18,700
Linda?
336
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:23,000
Perry has something to tell you that
might not be easy for you to hear, but
337
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,240
please, keep an open mind.
338
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,160
I can't do it. Be brave.
339
00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:32,780
Linda, darling, I hope you can forgive
me.
340
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:39,040
My fog hat cover band got fired, and
I've had to do something desperate to
341
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,040
money.
342
00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:45,360
You joined the Coast Guard?
343
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,840
If only it was that noble.
344
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:18,290
I get it.
345
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,930
You're the captain in a Captain and
Tennille tribute band.
346
00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:22,990
Now you know my secret shame.
347
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,590
And Reno's public shame.
348
00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:28,030
So this is what you couldn't tell me?
349
00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:29,610
You don't think less of me.
350
00:18:31,150 --> 00:18:32,650
I couldn't think less of you.
351
00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:34,350
None of us could.
352
00:18:36,010 --> 00:18:38,630
Hurry, honey, I don't care about any of
that.
353
00:18:39,390 --> 00:18:43,970
My love for you has nothing to do with
which classic 70s band you cover.
354
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:48,280
You don't have to shut me out of your
life, okay?
355
00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:53,380
Because someday, your looks will be
gone.
356
00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:04,340
When the others turn you on, who will be
turning you on? You will.
357
00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:05,540
I will.
358
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,200
Mrs. Felcy.
359
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:23,700
Yes?
360
00:19:24,860 --> 00:19:27,620
You, uh, you look very pretty today.
361
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,620
Especially with that bit of stewed
tomato on your bosom.
362
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:33,080
Lose a bet.
363
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:39,040
Well, let's get this over with. I got 3
,000 fajitas to make.
364
00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:18,330
You make me happy.
28723
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