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00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:11,950
Bill, have you seen my holiday to -do
list?
2
00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:15,030
No.
3
00:00:17,290 --> 00:00:21,390
I just put up the outdoor Santa. It was
so heavy I had to pull it by its feet
4
00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:22,390
across the lawn.
5
00:00:22,530 --> 00:00:25,230
The neighbors thought I was bringing you
home from your office party.
6
00:00:27,470 --> 00:00:30,150
Oh, I love Christmas break.
7
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:32,930
Spending time with the people that mean
the most to me.
8
00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:34,190
Oh, Lauren.
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Oh, my friends. I'll be at the mall.
10
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:43,360
go as a family to get our Christmas
tree. Judy, we're going to your parents
11
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,220
Christmas. We don't need to get a tree.
12
00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:47,540
We need a plant we can smoke.
13
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,160
So we all agree parents are a drag.
14
00:00:50,460 --> 00:00:54,760
Car keys, please. No, I'm sorry. Your
brother needs the car for his new job.
15
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Brian is blowing your Christmas vacation
on a job?
16
00:00:58,420 --> 00:01:00,360
Could he be any more lame?
17
00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:01,900
Glad tidings all.
18
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,099
The answer would be yes.
19
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,820
Well, I'm off to my caroling job at the
mall. Our group's called the Fenty Wing.
20
00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:10,940
Straight out of Dickens.
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00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,880
It ain't straight, and you're going to
get the Dickens beat out of you.
22
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,440
Well, I have to go see you at eventide.
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00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:20,600
Fiddle, fiddle, see, fiddle, bye,
fiddle, bum, doozy, doozy, day, doozy,
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Great. So now I'm stuck here, thanks to
the nerdful Dodger.
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Warren, you're not stuck. We could go
Christmas shopping and maybe skating.
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00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:35,110
Can't Dad help you with your shopping?
27
00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:37,310
No. Your father has a disability.
28
00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:38,950
He's lazy.
29
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:41,810
I'm still waiting for you guys to put in
ramps.
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At least you can help me out by forging
your father's signature on these
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Christmas cards.
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Make sure you put something personal on
each one.
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Shows that I care.
34
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Great. So because Brian has a job, he
gets out of everything while I have to
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00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,530
all the boring Christmas stuff.
36
00:01:58,730 --> 00:01:59,730
Forgot my cape.
37
00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:04,110
Goosey -goosey -gum, goosey -gum, goosey
-gum, goosey -gum.
38
00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:07,150
Goosey -gee.
39
00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:09,590
God help us, everyone.
40
00:02:10,990 --> 00:02:11,990
Hey,
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00:02:20,470 --> 00:02:25,030
man. In case I don't see you before the
holidays, I got you a little something.
42
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,440
I love it.
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00:02:30,980 --> 00:02:32,980
16 ounces, just my size.
44
00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:41,680
And here's the card. To my best friend
in the world, every morning I
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wake up and thank the heavens... You
might want to read that later.
46
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:48,380
I had a glass of wine and kind of let
myself go.
47
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:52,340
Stetson.
48
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,560
It is Christmas hell out there.
49
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:02,920
I've been to three stores and I still
can't find Tina's crappy, overpriced,
50
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:04,140
daisy, dumbass doll.
51
00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:07,800
Which Santa is bringing.
52
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:13,240
I don't care who brings it. Just get it
here by the 25th. I can't find that
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00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,080
stupid doll that pees and eats and
talks. I swear I'm going to have another
54
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,440
child and let her raise him.
55
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,220
Isn't that why we had Tina for Lauren to
play with? It's like a vicious, endless
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00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:24,220
cycle.
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00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:29,910
I am wiped out, and I still have a
million things to do. I have to bake
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00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:33,890
for the office party, buy a grab bag
gift, finish shopping for the kids. I
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00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:38,170
like a thousand presents to wrap. Oh, by
the way, I'm planning to get you a
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00:03:38,170 --> 00:03:39,530
really special Christmas gift.
61
00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:42,290
I just need to know what you want, where
to go, and money.
62
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,350
I have a great idea.
63
00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:49,570
Let's not get each other a gift this
year. It'll be one less thing for me to
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00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:53,610
That'd also give me one less thing to
do. Which would bring your list to zero.
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00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,360
Sweet.
66
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:03,140
You don't think she's really serious
about the no presents thing, do you? I'm
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00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:05,980
taking her at her word and hoping to
stretch it to Valentine's Day.
68
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,520
Dude, women are complicated.
69
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:14,340
Sure, right now she says no presents,
but then she's going to get all, oh,
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00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:15,259
the holidays.
71
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:19,540
I have to buy Bill a present because
he's so sweet and warm and the most
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00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:23,040
wonderful person in the... Well, I
covered some of this in my card.
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00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:27,910
My point is, you do not want to show up
empty -handed.
74
00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:31,410
Yeah, maybe you're right. I should
probably pick her up a little something.
75
00:04:31,410 --> 00:04:33,290
know, you seem to know a lot about
women.
76
00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:38,090
After three marriages, I am sensitive to
the fact that women be nuts.
77
00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:41,810
I just love the holiday.
78
00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:44,290
Crap, I'm out of cinnamon dot.
79
00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:50,470
Think anyone will notice that the
buttons on these snowmen were Advil? No,
80
00:04:50,470 --> 00:04:53,210
tell them not to have more than one
cookie every four hours.
81
00:04:54,590 --> 00:04:58,330
Listen, um, I got some bad news. I can't
go with you guys to Mom and Dad's for
82
00:04:58,330 --> 00:04:59,330
Christmas. Why not?
83
00:04:59,570 --> 00:05:03,610
Well, I gotta be with Perry and Reno.
He's the emcee of a holiday review
84
00:05:03,610 --> 00:05:04,610
Jingle Boops.
85
00:05:05,710 --> 00:05:07,670
Which is a lot classier than it sounds.
86
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:09,130
It's not, is it?
87
00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:11,750
No.
88
00:05:11,990 --> 00:05:15,610
Are you still gonna make those side
dishes Mom assigned to you? Oh, yeah, of
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00:05:15,610 --> 00:05:17,030
course. You're not, are you?
90
00:05:18,990 --> 00:05:23,030
Great. Add another thing to my list. I'm
sorry. I just didn't have time to cook.
91
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:24,800
Do you mind?
92
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,400
Well, since it's Christmas and I love
you, I'll make Lauren do it.
93
00:05:30,020 --> 00:05:34,060
Whatever it is, I can't. I just got a
job waiting tables at Platters. They
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00:05:34,060 --> 00:05:35,380
needed some extra help for the holidays.
95
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:36,419
So do I.
96
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,240
But you're not giving me money for
college.
97
00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:40,660
We were going to see how high school
pans out.
98
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:44,480
Wait a minute. I'm not sure I like you
working all the way across town and not
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00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,480
coming home till late.
100
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,280
I get to bring home leftover pies.
101
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,480
Carry mace and don't wake me when you
come in.
102
00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:53,990
Unless it's chocolate cream or berry.
You know, make it all pies.
103
00:05:55,530 --> 00:05:56,530
Christmas sucks.
104
00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:58,170
What happened?
105
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:01,770
Nothing we haven't seen coming since he
said turn off the football game the
106
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:02,770
Tonys are on.
107
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:07,410
I just couldn't believe it. We were
singing the 12 days of Christmas and
108
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:11,730
started throwing food. You know, 12 mini
hot dogs, 11 frozen yogurts, 10...
109
00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:13,490
Well, you get the idea.
110
00:06:14,270 --> 00:06:15,650
Anyway, the mall fired us.
111
00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:19,020
That's wonderful, honey. You could be my
holiday helper.
112
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,380
It'll be fun.
113
00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:23,500
Man, I thought Lauren was taking care of
all the Christmas crap around here.
114
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,480
Yeah. I got a job now, so car keys,
please.
115
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:27,960
Well, what about Aunt Linda?
116
00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:31,640
Oh, I'll be with my husband having a
good old -fashioned topless Christmas.
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00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,780
Wait, you know, I tried to spread a
little holiday cheer around, and what
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00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:35,780
get you?
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00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,140
Two salted pretzels.
120
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,940
And a son that is slowly killing me.
121
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:49,780
Welcome to Flatters. Would you like to
hear the specials? Sure. So would I.
122
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,020
I'm starving.
123
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:52,160
Let's find a real waitress.
124
00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:54,460
Don't your parents really think you work
here?
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00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:57,940
Yeah, it was the perfect scam to get out
of my mom's holiday chores.
126
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,320
Now Brian has to be your Christmas elf.
127
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,640
But the loser even has a costume.
128
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,400
So after we eat, you want to go back to
my house and see how we're doing on
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00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,020
rateyourbutt .org? Yeah.
130
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,640
I bet we both scored ass -tastic.
131
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,120
Oh, no.
132
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,160
Your family's here.
133
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,300
What?
134
00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:25,140
Hey!
135
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,300
Welcome to Platters. What the hell are
you doing here?
136
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,020
Well, we had to take a little trip to
the emergency room. There was a slight
137
00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:34,900
electrical mishap while Brian was
hanging the Christmas lights.
138
00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:37,420
He got all shaky. It was hilarious.
139
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,120
Good news is, I took a picture.
140
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,160
And I'm fine.
141
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,640
In the neighborhood, we thought we'd see
our girl at work.
142
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:48,920
Aren't you going to see that?
143
00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:50,420
Uh, yeah, yeah.
144
00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:52,460
Thanks, Amy. I'll take it from here.
145
00:07:56,240 --> 00:08:01,020
I understand you accept competitors'
coupons. Bill, it's not a coupon. You
146
00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:03,000
wrote free steak on a piece of paper.
147
00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:08,220
Um, actually, I'm not going to be
waiting on you guys. They already have
148
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:12,400
training a new girl. And don't mention
me, because she's a little insecure, you
149
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,400
know, because she's a newbie.
150
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,480
Welcome to Platters, where service
matters.
151
00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:23,680
The specials are on the board.
152
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,280
Don't make me read them.
153
00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:30,680
You can come out now. They're gone.
154
00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:31,980
Oh, that was close.
155
00:08:32,539 --> 00:08:34,020
I was under there forever.
156
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,179
You know, your little sister eats
croutons off the floor.
157
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,620
I can't believe I pulled it off.
158
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,020
My parents think Brian's the smart one.
And they're right.
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00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:44,560
You're busted.
160
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:54,180
Would you like to see our wine line?
Okay, drop it. Your little scam's over.
161
00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:57,680
saw a picture of your newbie on the
wall. She was Employee of the Month in
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00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,680
You're going to rat me out to Mom and
Dad?
163
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:02,740
Actually, no. I had another idea.
164
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:04,260
Oh, God.
165
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,800
Brian, let's go. I have to hem that
nightgown I bought for Grandma, and
166
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:09,800
her size.
167
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,360
Sorry, Mom. I can't help you anymore. I
just got a job here, too.
168
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,240
What? But you're supposed to be helping
me.
169
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,200
When do they need you to start?
170
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,800
It's your birthday!
171
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,220
Happy birthday.
172
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,860
Right now. It's your birthday.
173
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,020
Happy birthday.
174
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,800
From your friend that platters.
175
00:09:34,940 --> 00:09:35,940
Hey,
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00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:43,220
there you are. I've been looking all
over.
177
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,620
You're not in line to see Santa Claus,
are you?
178
00:09:47,870 --> 00:09:49,250
Not if you're going to bad -vibe me.
179
00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:53,750
Anyway, I took your advice and bought
Judy a CD.
180
00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:57,130
Great. Now you're all set in case she
springs a present on you.
181
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,070
Yeah, I just hope I got her the right
thing.
182
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:02,010
Wow, look at that.
183
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:04,130
That is a beautiful ring.
184
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:07,250
Yeah. Judy would never expect me to buy
something like that.
185
00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:09,370
Holidays only come around once a year.
186
00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:12,270
You know what?
187
00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:13,630
You're right.
188
00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:15,890
I'm buying myself a pinky ring.
189
00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:23,540
There's something in the air.
190
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,780
The smell of 5 ,000 people in overcoats.
191
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:31,640
It's bad that I pretend I have laser
vision, and every time I blink my eyes,
192
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,000
blowing somebody's head up.
193
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,420
Judy, that is not the Christmas...
You're trying to blow up my head, aren't
194
00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:38,780
It's not working.
195
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,220
Hey, wait, is that Bill in the jewelry
store?
196
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:43,620
What's he doing in there?
197
00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:46,480
Well, it looks like Kyle's helping him
pick out a ring.
198
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,480
That sweet, sweet man.
199
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,280
We said no presents, but he couldn't
resist.
200
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,500
Come on, I gotta go find him something
special.
201
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,480
See, just when you think he's only
thinking about himself, he does
202
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:58,480
generous like that.
203
00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:02,160
What the hell? I'll take the one with
the bigger stone.
204
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:03,840
I'm worth it.
205
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,860
Gina, hurry up! We're leaving for
Grandma and Grandpa's.
206
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,880
Three hours in the car. Did you go to
the bathroom?
207
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:17,460
Yes, already.
208
00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:19,150
Stop treating me like... like a baby.
209
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:21,930
I was talking to your father.
210
00:11:22,510 --> 00:11:23,790
All set? Let's go.
211
00:11:24,110 --> 00:11:25,110
I love you.
212
00:11:25,890 --> 00:11:26,890
What was that for?
213
00:11:27,290 --> 00:11:29,170
Nothing. I just love you.
214
00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:32,210
I don't like the sound of that.
215
00:11:33,890 --> 00:11:39,230
Have a good time at Grandma and
Grandpa's. It kills me that you two
216
00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:40,230
with us.
217
00:11:40,290 --> 00:11:44,490
I should call your boss and tell him how
important it is to spend Christmas with
218
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:45,490
your family. No!
219
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:46,910
You'll get us fired.
220
00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:51,880
Yeah, and if I get blacklisted as a
waitress, what kind of future am I going
221
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:52,819
have, Ma?
222
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:54,480
I guess not much of one.
223
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,400
Thank you.
224
00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:58,060
I think.
225
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,260
Okay, well, you two be safe, and don't
forget the most important thing.
226
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:06,420
No more mincemeat. I don't care what
anyone says. That's not a pie.
227
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:08,180
Bye. Love you.
228
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:09,439
Be safe.
229
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,440
See ya.
230
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:13,139
We're free!
231
00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:14,140
New family!
232
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,200
It's Christmas anyway. We're way too old
for that stuff.
233
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:19,120
Yeah, besides, we have the whole house
to ourselves.
234
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:22,700
I'm going to invite Becca over. We're
going to crank call all the dweebs in
235
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,060
school. Oh, great. And Hakeem's coming
over for a jam session.
236
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:27,220
Since when are you guys in a band?
237
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:29,420
No, silly. We're making jam.
238
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,300
Oh, sounds cool.
239
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,840
I'm going to need yours and Hakeem's
phone numbers. Sure.
240
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:43,720
Well, just got off the phone with
Hakeem. Of course, he's spending
241
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:44,720
with his family.
242
00:12:45,420 --> 00:12:46,640
So you can't make jam?
243
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,000
No, he's the one with the double boiler.
244
00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:51,880
Becca's hanging out with her parents,
too.
245
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:53,860
Loser.
246
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:57,300
L -O -O -S -E -R.
247
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:01,480
They're supposed to lose her, which I
guess also applies.
248
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:06,120
Well, they just don't know the fun that
they're missing when they're wasting
249
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,040
time with their family. They sure don't.
250
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,360
Do you want to crank Tommy again?
251
00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:18,540
Nah. You were way too happy just to be
getting a phone call.
252
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:21,659
You know what?
253
00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:23,840
Let's kick this party up a notch. I know
just the thing.
254
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,440
I already told you once. I am not going
to help you set up your Star Wars
255
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,440
nativity scene.
256
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,380
It's beer party time.
257
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:32,960
Wow. Cool.
258
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,720
This must be the kind that needs an
opener.
259
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,440
That must be our pizza.
260
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:46,580
Pizza and beer. It's good to be grown
up, huh?
261
00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:48,940
It's Mom and Dad.
262
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:50,760
Why did they come back?
263
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,080
We're supposed to be at work. Quick, to
the basement.
264
00:13:57,740 --> 00:13:59,880
Let's get my thick baby up to bed.
265
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,520
I can't believe we're not going to make
it to your folks' house. Be sure and
266
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:07,440
find out exactly what she ate so we can
give it to her again next year.
267
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,320
Bill.
268
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,600
Fish sticks.
269
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,080
I wish we'd stop for dinner. I'm
starving.
270
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:24,200
Do you know the... The Christmas
miracle?
271
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,420
Dad's eating our pizza.
272
00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:29,940
How do you know?
273
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,960
Well, he's making those creepy moans,
and that can only mean two things.
274
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,820
I don't hear Mom saying, hurry up, so
it's got to be the pizza.
275
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,300
Come on, I'm cold and hungry. Can we
just go out there and tell them the
276
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,840
No. We have to wait till Mom and Dad
fall asleep.
277
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,320
They'll just think that we got in late
from work.
278
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:50,300
You're right. I can do this.
279
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,400
Oh, no. Dad's moans are getting louder.
280
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,500
You know what that means.
281
00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:57,920
He found the cheesy bread.
282
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:03,620
Well, Tina has a fever, but she managed
to fall asleep.
283
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,060
Did you order a pizza?
284
00:15:06,730 --> 00:15:09,890
No, but I thought about it. Technology
is amazing.
285
00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:13,950
Well, I have to say, I don't mind
missing the trip to Indiana.
286
00:15:14,270 --> 00:15:16,690
But now we have nothing planned for
Christmas.
287
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,110
Or do we?
288
00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:24,490
I know we said we wouldn't, but I
couldn't help myself. I bought you a
289
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:28,130
something. I couldn't help myself
either. I bought you something, too.
290
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:29,470
No.
291
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:30,990
Stop.
292
00:15:31,550 --> 00:15:35,130
You didn't. I don't believe it. You big
crazy present guy.
293
00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:40,050
We can still have a decent Christmas.
I'll put on some music, you start a
294
00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:43,970
Ah, we need something to burn. Hey,
where's Brian's cape and that stupid
295
00:15:45,790 --> 00:15:46,790
Here.
296
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:48,770
Found the Christmas tree skirt.
297
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:51,210
Thanks. I can use it to keep warm.
298
00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:53,750
What are they doing?
299
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:57,510
They put on music and I think they lit a
fire.
300
00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,130
Like we do every year when we open
presents.
301
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,260
Do you remember last year for breakfast,
Mom made those little pancakes shaped
302
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:07,360
like snowmen, and she wrote, I love you
in syrup?
303
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,040
Yeah.
304
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,060
Stupid pancakes.
305
00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:18,140
Stupid, I love you in syrup.
306
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,000
Merry Christmas, honey.
307
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,240
A watch!
308
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,860
Wow! And it's got those...
309
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,240
fancy Super Bowl numbers on it.
310
00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:33,500
You mean Roman numerals.
311
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,180
Judy, the Super Bowl is American.
312
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,700
Well, you deserve it. Now me!
313
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,700
I'll show you how much you mean to me.
314
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:43,360
Oh, my God.
315
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:45,180
A CD.
316
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:48,680
Tissue paper.
317
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:50,980
More tissue paper.
318
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:53,300
Here it is. I mean, what's this?
319
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,280
Really, what is this?
320
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,840
A CD opener.
321
00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,470
Came free with purchase.
322
00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:02,770
No more broken fingernails for you, my
lovely lady.
323
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:05,510
Where the hell's my ring?
324
00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:08,410
What? I saw you at the mall buying a
ring.
325
00:17:08,990 --> 00:17:10,970
Who's it for? Who do you love more than
me?
326
00:17:14,130 --> 00:17:16,290
You bought yourself a pinky ring?
327
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:18,410
It's my birthstone.
328
00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:23,329
Well, I hope you and your hand will be
very happy together.
329
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,140
I don't know what you're so mad about.
You're the one who said no presents.
330
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:32,340
I know, but then I saw you in the mall,
and I don't know what... Oh, God, you
331
00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:35,320
know what? You're right. Thank you.
Wait, why?
332
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,700
Because I did this to myself.
333
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:43,040
I lost the Christmas spirit. I turned
the holidays into a big list of chores,
334
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:48,620
and now I'm paying the price for it.
Look at this lousy Christmas. No tree,
335
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:52,680
dinner. Tina's sick, and the worst part
is Brian and Lauren aren't even here.
336
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:54,260
It does feel kind of weird.
337
00:17:54,910 --> 00:17:58,490
Especially since this is the last
Christmas before Brian goes away to
338
00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:02,830
Do you realize this may be the last time
we're all together for the holidays?
339
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,350
Wow.
340
00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:07,930
Never really thought of it that way.
341
00:18:10,970 --> 00:18:12,050
Stupid college.
342
00:18:12,990 --> 00:18:16,690
I don't know why I'm making such a big
deal over a stupid ring.
343
00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:19,830
What I really, really want is our family
to be together.
344
00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:22,070
Christmas isn't about presents.
345
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,940
I still get to keep the watch, right?
346
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:32,440
The only present that would make me
happy right now is if Brian and Lauren
347
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,620
here. I really miss them. We're here!
348
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:38,840
Hallelujah! It's another Christmas
miracle!
349
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,560
What are you kids doing home?
350
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,200
Well, we were hiding in the basement
because we lied about having jobs. We
351
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,640
didn't want to spend our whole Christmas
vacation doing a bunch of boring
352
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,640
Christmas chores.
353
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,800
Or going to Grandma and Grandpa.
354
00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:53,150
But we heard all the wonderful things
you said, so we're giving you the
355
00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:54,710
that you really wanted. All of us
together.
356
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:56,110
Merry Christmas, Mom.
357
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:57,370
Go to your rooms!
358
00:18:58,030 --> 00:19:00,650
What? Can't believe you lied to me!
359
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:05,530
Here's a job for you, trying to survive
without TVs, phones, computers, and
360
00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:07,510
possibly food! Now get upstairs!
361
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:13,130
Did Santa come yet?
362
00:19:13,650 --> 00:19:15,110
Honey, what are you doing out of bed?
363
00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:16,750
I'm feeling better.
364
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,590
Now can we all open presents?
365
00:19:19,130 --> 00:19:22,530
Not your brother and your sister.
They've been very bad and they're being
366
00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:23,530
punished.
367
00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:25,690
So there's no Christmas, Mommy?
368
00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:30,230
Oh, you know what? Get down here, all of
you.
369
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:33,190
Really? Yeah, I'll be mad tomorrow.
370
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:35,570
Tonight it's Christmas.
371
00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:40,810
We may not have a lot, but we have each
other. And really, what else do you
372
00:19:40,810 --> 00:19:41,810
need?
373
00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:45,530
The presents are ruined.
374
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,070
At exactly 11 .35.
375
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,250
I'm feeling better.
376
00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:53,210
Oh, wait a minute.
30043
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