All language subtitles for still_standing_s03e21_mother_s_day

Dad? Yeah?

Yeah, I need your help with something
really quick.

Dad, you can't answer me and then
pretend to be asleep.

All right, what do you need?

Well, I was just trying to... Okay,
fine, I guess I won't tell you about the

delicious ham.

What ham?

No ham, okay? Anyway, I'm trying to
figure out what to get Mom for Mother's

She likes a delicious ham.

No, I'm serious, Dad. Last year, I just
got her some stupid flowers.

This year, I want to give her
something...

Really nice.

Ooh, you're headed down a dangerous gift
path, son. What you really want to do

is set the bar low.

Oh, I see what you're saying. And then
just skitter something a tiny bit nicer

every year.

No, you set the bar low and you leave it
there.

Do what I do with my mom. Every year I
show up at her place bright and early

with a gift that has my face on it. A
Bill t -shirt, a Bill coffee mug, a

billow. Wait, let me guess. A pillow
with your face on it. And this year

getting a toasty Bill blanket to go with
it.

It's amazing you can sleep at night.

My head rests easy on my billow.

They're cheaper if you buy two.

I'm still in love with you today.

because you make me happy.

All right, Mom, I'll see you Saturday.

Bye, love you.

Oh, my mom's so looking forward to
Mother's Day at the Palm Court.

Oh, you mean that tea thing you do every
year?

Not just tea, high tea.

Oh, high tea.

Well, that's the only way I could get
through it.

This year's going to be even better
because we're bringing Lauren for the

time. And Lauren can't wait.

You're going to love it. We get dressed
up. There's flowers and candles.

Oh, great.

So it's like a more boring version of
church.

Honey, this is a rite of passage. I knew
my mother finally thought of me as a

woman when she invited me to my first
high tea.

High tea? Count me in.

Honey,

it's just the girl.

Or you could go with me. I could loan
you a dress.

How about that purple one I caught you
in?

I told you I was in a play.

Pick a team, son.

Pick a team.

I just wanted to come by to tell you
that I'd like to spend Mother's Day with

Billy boy instead of making you get me
some silly gift.

Well, what about Johnny?

What was the point of getting you
married?

Well, first of all, I'm not Johnny's
mother.

Oh, but sometimes he does shout out, Oh,
Mama!

St. Louis visiting his mother. Why
didn't you go with him?

Oh, because I don't like that woman.

She has no boundaries, and she's so
manipulative.

I can't even imagine how he puts up with
her.

It's brutal, and it sucks away a little
bit of your soul every day.

Unless you don't want to spend the whole
day with your mother, although I spent

the whole day with you in labor, pushing
and pushing and pushing.

Well... Okay, you can stop now. I'm out.

It'd be fun to get dressed up and go
someplace fancy.

Fancy? Hey, you know what's fancy? High
tea at the Palm Court.

Oh, you want to take me to high tea?

No, but you know who does?

Judy.

I have always dreamed of going to the
palm court for tea.

I've heard it's so classy.

Oh, I'll have to take my Beano.

Hey, Louise.

Oh, Judy, the answer's a big yes.

Yes to what? What was the question?

Oh, Billy told me you want to take me to
tea for Mother's Day. What?

Well, you're already going. Would it
kill you to add one more?

No, but somebody might die.

Uh, look, Louise, it's already myself,
Linda, and Lauren, my mom, and it's just

a table for four.

Oh. Lauren doesn't even want to go.
Maybe you could take my mom instead.

Can I see you in the kitchen, please?

You're not unloading your mom on me.
She's going to ruin everything.

Judy, it's old ladies drinking tea and
eating tiny sandwiches. How do you ruin

that?

This tea is very special for me, and
it's Lauren's first time, and I don't

your mother ruining it by taking over
the whole thing and making it all about

her. Oh, Judy.

Judy, my mom's not going to take over.

Judy, I've got the popcorn on the line,
and they said they can give us a bigger

table.

You called them? But it'll have to be at
9 o 'clock in the morning, which is

great, because then all us gals can
drive out to Joliet and see the house I

up in.

Okay, so just put us down for... We'll
call you back.

Listen, Louise, this is something my
sister and I have been doing with our

for many years.

It's kind of a Michael family tradition.

Oh.

Tradition. I see. I wouldn't want to
intrude on your tradition.

Thanks for understanding.

Oh, I understand. I'll be the only woman
in the family not invited.

Again, thanks for understanding.

You look five years younger.

Oh, thanks, Mom.

Mom?

Mom?

I changed my hair, too. I grew out my
bangs. You must not have noticed because

you didn't say anything.

I noticed.

So, did you two have a chance to catch
up last night?

Yeah, yeah. It was great. It was really,
really great. We talked and talked.

Yeah, this was wonderful.

I'll stay here next time.

Why, Mom? You have your own room at my
house. Here you have to sleep on the

couch with your head in Bill's ass dent.

I just feel so alive in this house.

Oh, as opposed to my house where you
feel dead?

No, honey, not dead. Just less alive.

Bill, Mom's here.

Busy. My mom.

Oh, hi, Helen.

How was your night at Linda's? Still
smell like cats?

It's like sleeping in a litter box.

Can I get you something to drink?

Well, it's a little early in the day for
a martini. How about a screwdriver?

Yoo -hoo! It's me!

Oh, good. Louise is here, and she
brought that voice.

Oh! Helen!

So,

how have you been?

I got married.

I know.

Congratulations. Now, don't go making
any Asian jokes, because my husband's

Japanese. I wasn't going to.

Oh, sure you were. Everybody does.

But not all Asians are terrible drivers,
although Johnny is.

Speaking of drivers, where's Bill with
that screwdriver?

I'll go check.

Oh, Tina! Come to Nana! Come to Grandma!

Who's your favorite, Grandma?

Really, who's your favorite?

Mommy!

Lori!

Hi,

Grandma!

Your very first Mother's Day tea with
the girls. You must be so excited.

Yeah, I am. Actually, I have a surprise.

What? What surprise?

Well, you know how you said I can't come
to tea with you because traditions are

so important. Well, I agree.

So I've decided to start my own
tradition.

Oh, Louise, that's great. You should
have your own tradition.

Exactly. I'm going to spend Mother's Day
outlet shopping with my granddaughter,

Lauren. Sounds great.

Whoa, whoa.

Not great, Lauren. You're coming to tea
with us.

Yeah, remember?

You're excited.

Well, if she goes to tea, how will she
be able to spend this $100 gift card?

It's not a tradition.

You've never done it before.

Well, Lauren's never gone to tea with
you before, but suddenly that's a

tradition. How come your tradition is a
tradition and my tradition's not a

tradition? All right, stop saying
tradition.

Don't I get a say in what I want to do?

You know, if Lauren really wants to go
with my mom... She could always come

us next year. No!

It's Mother's Day.

Mother, you're spending it with your
mother, and you are going to spend it

your mother, and I'm going to spend it
with my mother, and we're all going to

have a happy -ass Mother's Day.

I'll just go in there. I know how to
talk to her.

Well, this is awkward.

Yeah, Mom, we should probably head back
to my apartment.

It's not that awkward.

If anybody has their keys handy, we
should probably get to the hospital.

Why? Because I kind of stabbed your mom.

The nurse said my mom's going to be
fine. She

just needs a couple of stitches.

I don't know what happened.

Well, as I understand it, you stabbed my
mother.

She used to come up behind me, and I
didn't see her, and I turned with the

knife, and I... Stabbed my mother.

I've got to tell you, I'm impressed.

I mean, we've all thought about it, but
you actually... Oh, here she is.

Oh, again, Louise, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. I just thought I saw
something shiny in your hand.

Hello, I'm Dr. Gibbons. Oh, and this is
my son Bill and his lovely wife Judy who

stabbed me.

How are you feeling, Louise? Pretty
good.

For a woman who just came out of a coma.

So I think we should know, Doctor? Just
change the dressing twice a day. Make

sure she takes her pain pills.

And read this pamphlet.

Managing rage?

I don't have rage. I told you it was an
accident.

All right, calm down.

Try to get her to read that.

And you take it easy on that arm for a
few days, okay?

I don't know how I'm going to be able to
manage on my own.

Someone's going to have to help me cook.

wash my hair.

How am I even going to be able to pull
up my tights?

Bill. Hey, I didn't stab her.

Lauren, you need to get ready for the
tea.

I am.

Didn't you see the dress I laid out for
you on your bed?

Yeah, I sat on it when I put on my
pants.

I'm going to your tea. Can I just wear
what I want?

Well, yeah, I suppose.

It's just that I do a lot for you, and I
was just hoping you'd give me this one

day.

After all, it is, what do they call it?
Oh, yes, Mother's Day.

Fine, I'll go put on a stupid dress.

Or any dress you want.

I'll be up in a minute to pick it out.

Happy Mother's Day, everybody.

Excited about the palm course?

as excited as I can be considering I was
up half the night. Someone was talking

gibberish in their sleep.

Mom, I wasn't asleep. I was sitting on
the edge of your bed telling you all

about my hopes and my dreams.

Oh.

Well, good luck with those, honey.

You think you're tired?

Louise is milking this whole incident. I
had to go over and cook her dinner,

clean her house, and if I say no to
anything, she points to her arm.

She won't let up on this whole stabbing
thing.

Oh, thanks for dropping me off, Betty. I
would have driven myself, but I got

stabbed.

Oh, Judy, I brought you some laundry.

These are my delicates, and they have to
be washed by hand. I would do it

myself, but as you know... I know, I'll
do them later.

Hey, Mom. Happy Mother's Day. What are
you doing here? I was going to pick you

up for lunch later.

Oh, I thought we could skip lunch. I
don't want to get too full before my tea

with the ladies.

Wait a minute, Louise. What makes you
think you're coming with us?

Oh, I just thought in polite society
that one is invited to tea after one is

stabbed.

It does make a point. In the kitchen
now.

Ten bucks, he comes out bleeding.

Okay, buddy, step up. You are taking
that woman to every annoying, horrible

place that she wants to go to until
Mother's Day is over.

You owe me that.

I've pulled up tights.

And what's worse, I've had to pull them
down. All right.

And show her a good time. Don't buy her
just any cheap piece of crap with your

face on it.

getting all dressed up and acting like
proper ladies.

Grandma, what are you drinking? I
thought they only served tea here.

It is tea.

Iced tea.

Long Island iced tea.

Hey, my mother's day, too, okay?

Judy, what's wrong? You don't look like
you're having any fun.

Louise, I can't believe I'm actually
feeling guilty for not letting her come

today. I don't know how she does it.
Stop letting that woman upset you so

Forget about her. She's not here.

Oh, oh, but she's here.

She picks and she picks and she picks
till you just can't take it anymore and

you just want to tie those tights around
her neck.

Hey, this place is fancy, huh, Lauren?

Oh, I get it. We're pretending Mom
didn't just have a meltdown.

You know what, sweet girl?

I'm letting Louise ruin my day. I'm
going to put her out of my mind and have

wonderful Mother's Day.

Good for you, Judy.

Waiter, she'll have what I'm having.

And I'll have another.

Oh, I'm really starting to have a good
time.

Oh, glad.

Oh, waiter, could you take our picture,
please? Sure.

Are all you girls sisters?

Thanks.

Everybody say cheese.

Oh, crap.

Or crap.

Why are you here?

My mom wanted to have tea at the Drake
Hotel. Your mom's here?

Yeah, she's downstairs in the powder
room. What are you doing here?

You were supposed to be at the Palm
Court.

The Palm Court at the Drake Hotel, you
jackass.

This woman, she just won't take no for
an answer.

Well, I've had it. If she thinks she can
show up here and expect us to welcome

her with open arms, she... She's going

to be fine.

The nurse said that the painkillers from
her knife wound relaxed her so she was

limber for the fall.

Good thing you stabbed her first.

I can't believe I hurt her again.

You think it wasn't an accident?

Think I have it out for her?

You're really starting to look that way,
Ma.

Honey, I was right there. The stairs
were a total accident.

That said, didn't see the stabbing,
can't comment.

It drives me so crazy. She pushes and
manipulates and digs her heels in until

she gets her way.

I know what that's like.

What are you saying?

Nothing. Are you saying I'm like Nana?

Well, you did push me into coming to
this tea with you.

Lord, it's Mother's Day.

Yeah, and I was going to make you
breakfast like I always do, but suddenly

wasn't good enough.

I couldn't even wear what I wanted to
wear. You guilted me into doing

your way. I did not guilt you. Besides,
I gave birth to you. I think that

entitles me. Oh, my God.

Ha, ha, you're like my mother.

I married my... Oh, my God.

happen again. I never want to be the
kind of mother who guilts you into doing

stuff with her.

Okay, Mom, I forgive you. Really?

Yeah, I mean, I don't want to be on your
bad side.

I've seen you in action.

Please, I am so sorry.

Doctor, you remember my son Bill and my
lovely daughter -in -law Judy who

stabbed me and shoved me down the
stairs?

You didn't read that pamphlet, did you?

Come on, go bring the car around. I want
to speak to your mom alone. Sure.

So this is how I'm going to die.

Louise, please forgive me. I never meant
to hurt you.

Well, I guess I'm just starting to
realize that I may have a short fuse

sometimes because maybe I see a little
part of me in you. A little? We're

exactly alike.

The point is, we're both mothers and
strong -willed women, and we both love

children so much.

And I think of you as my daughter.

Ah!

I guess the reason I wanted to go to the
tea so badly is that I'm a little

jealous that Helen gets to have you all
to herself.

Oh, Louise, that's so sweet.

Judy, call the mob.

Shh, Louise, don't speak.

You're very weak.

Let's get you home safe and sound.

My purse. Oh, I'll get Judy. Judy!

Judy!

Well, at least we're already at the
hospital.

Can I bring you anything else?

Oh, no, thank you. I'm fine. I'm just
waiting for my mother. She went to the

restroom a while ago. I hope she's all
right.

Isn't that your mother over there?

I am so glad I met all of you. For the
best Mother's Day ever.

Mom, what are you doing over here?

Oh, this table is just so much more
alive.