Original subtitles

Hey, where's the food? Probably near Bill.

Honey, what are you doing? I thought you were on a diet for your wedding.

Yeah, I'm awful.

Harry's decided to postpone the wedding again and he's taken a gig out of town.

So now they don't have to fit into a wedding dress until September. I'm just

going to eat until the pain is gone.

Trust me, I've been trying that for years.

And the pain is still here.

Billy!

It's Mama!

And over there.

I think it's good you'll have more time to plan a nicer wedding. Yeah, if I ever

have one. Oh, come on. You're acting like you're the last single woman on

Guess what, everybody?

Johnny proposed.

I'm getting married.

Oh, you make me happy.

Wow, Louise, nice rock.

A little showy, don't you think?

Oh, yes. It's three times the size of the one Billy's father got me.

Oh, yeah, that's right. You've gotten two rings.

Oh, I'm sorry, dear. Look at me acting like I'm the only one that's getting

married. Let me see your ring.

What's this?

It's a promise string.

A promise ring?

A promise string.

A promise what?

String. Ring? Shut up!

Louise, we're so thrilled for you. When's the big day?

Valentine's Day?

You're getting married in two weeks? Johnny says a man in love doesn't wait.

Okay. We'll get some cake and a pound of cookie dough. Congratulations, Louise.

May your final years on Earth be happy ones.

Nice girl, but she's the kind of woman who sends good men straight to the

thought.

Hi, Nana.

Oh, my sweeties!

Oh, I have got big news.

I'm getting married.

And moving away.

Congratulations.

I never said I was moving away.

Worth a shot.

But you probably won't be seeing as much of me because Johnny's buying us a new

house. And I finally get to fulfill my dream of having four tiny dogs named

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, and Moe.

and we thought her house smelled bad now.

I want the girls to be bridesmaids. Oh, and Brian, Brian, would you play the

guitar at the ceremony?

And sing?

Ah, sweet pea, let's stick with our strengths.

Billy, would you give me a way? I've been waiting all my life to hear you

Well, Louise, it looks like you have everything under control. Just let us

what time to be there.

Judy, you didn't... think I'd leave you out of my wedding, did you? Maybe.

I saved the best for you. I want you to be my matron of honor and help me work

out every detail of my wedding.

Oh, Louise, that is so very touching.

But you know what I'd be better at? Tying the tin cans to the back of the

Oh, don't be silly, Judy. Now, when I'm standing at that altar, I want you by my

side because you're my best friend.

Really? 62 years of life and I'm in.

If you don't want to, I understand.

I'll just have to indefinitely postpone it until I can find a new best friend.

Judy, can I see you for a second? Oh, you betcha.

Bill, you've got to get me out of this matron of honor.

Oh, God, she's going to want me. You throw her a shower? Judy, keep your eyes

the big picture here.

Johnny's our ticket out. She's marrying into a new family. That's a whole

carcass of fresh meat for her to feed on.

But she's going to pick out my dress.

Come on, champ.

Take one for the team. You can suck it up for two weeks. Come on. Come on.

for coming to my wedding show. Oh, Judy, you wrote down Betty's gift, didn't

you? Yes, Louise.

Well, could you just check? I haven't. Well, just check. I wrote it down. I

believe you.

Just check. Oh, it's right... Betty, what did you bring?

It was a rice cooker.

Got it. Bye now.

Oh.

A rice cooker? What was she thinking? My fiancé's Asian. I'm marrying a rice

cooker.

Judy, honey, return it for me.

I will if I get a chance, Louise.

And on the way, could you pay the DJ and pick up my naughty lingerie?

Oh, Lord, I still need something blue.

You could hold your breath.

Louise, I'm starting to feel that you're taking advantage of this whole matron

of honor thing.

Judy, if you didn't want the job, you should have told me while there was

time to ask Betty.

What?

Hi, Judy. How was the shower?

Take her home.

Excuse me.

That's it, Bill. I'm out. I quit.

She's been running me rackets for the past week and a half.

Three days left. We're almost there.

What's this wee crap?

I was out with Johnny all day. You think that was fun?

You went downtown for a steak lunch, and then you both had a nice hot shave.

Well, the barber nicked my ear.

Plus, the food was delicious, so I overate, and now I'm very uncomfortable.

Would you get me a ginger ale?

You want to die today?

Judy, don't forget, you have to go to the florist today.

Louise, I am sure that Judy's just exhausted. We could stop by the florist

the way home.

You're right, as usual.

Well, this is the last of it. Hi, Mom, Johnny.

I had fun today, Bill. It was the best afternoon of my life.

Judy, thank you so much for a lovely shower.

I'm sorry to leave you with such a mess, which you wouldn't have if you'd clean

as you go.

Bye. I hate you.

You see that?

Johnny got you out of going to the florist. That man is the key in the jail

door. I'm telling you, Judy, we're home free.

Hello, tiny boy.

Dad, what are you doing here? I've come to stop the wedding.

Got any diet soda?

I'll check.

Stop the wedding. Why in the world would you do that?

She's my wife, and we belong together.

She's your ex -wife, and you told her that being married to her was like

cancer of the soul.

I spoke with a young man's foolish contempt for love.

Which young man was that? Because you were 58 and it was part of your

anniversary toast.

Yeah, that's all anybody remembers from that night.

Hey! There she is, the best thing that ever happened to the name Miller. Oh,

Harold, what a surprise. What are you doing here? I flew up from Florida the

minute I got the news from Aunt Doris. He's here to stop the wedding. He wants

my mother back.

What? But what about Juanita? I'm through with Juanita.

All she wants to do is dance and make love.

And then when you ask for a little conversation, it's nothing but Castro

and Castro that.

Al, Louise is getting married in two days. You can't do this to me. Ty, to

I have to. I should never have let her go.

Yeah, well, she's moved on and found a very nice man.

So you need to forget all this craziness and go back to Florida.

Besides, you just missed her. She left a few minutes ago. Oh, good. That means

she'll be back. I know my Louise.

She never leaves a place once. She always comes back for something she

Not always.

Well, I guess she's a new woman now.

I forgot my paper plate bow hat.

Ow.

Louise. You look... So do you.

Yeah, yeah, Johnny's got the car running and gas ain't cheap.

Right, it's up to $2 .19 a gallon at that station near our old house.

Is that still run by those two Romanian bastards who pretend like they don't

know a 10 from a 20?

Yeah.

That's the one with the all -night market where I bought you the mint chip

cream. Mint chip ice cream when I was pregnant with Billy.

Hey, hey, hey! Can you pay for a plate, Poe?

I better be going.

Can I call you?

I don't think that would be such a good idea.

Johnny's waiting. Goodbye, huh?

What a woman.

All right, see you, kids.

Bill. Dad, where are you going?

I got a room at that joint on Wilbert.

I'm going to go shower, change, and win your mother back.

She just said it would be a bad idea if you called her.

No, she said she thought it would be a bad idea.

The dance begins.

Bill, where are you going? The dance is beginning.

Why don't you stop him? We can't let him break your mother's heart again. I'm

not getting in the middle of this.

Oh, please don't tell me you want Mommy and Daddy to get back together.

Oh, come on, Judy.

Give me some credit. I'm a grown man.

Then what is it?

My dad's big and scary.

Good mister.

Isn't that the way she looked at him? He'll sweet talk her and she'll cancel

wedding and then he'll turn around and cheat on her again. You cannot let him

that to her. Okay, fine. I'll go talk to him. But you should know that if that

old man swings at me, I'm swinging back.

And then he will kill me.

Who the hell is it?

It's your son.

Carl? No, Bill. Who's Carl?

There was a woman in Missouri.

Not important.

Anyway, I'm glad you're here. I need your help.

Really? Yeah, your mother won't take my calls. I need you to talk to her for me.

You know, Dad, I think we should talk about that. Get me my belt.

Oh, why?

I just said we should talk.

Before my pants.

Oh, you...

You brought your wedding album.

Yeah. That's to remind your mother of all the good times we had. You know,

they weren't all such good times.

Maybe there's a reason Mom's not returning your calls.

Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you. Why wouldn't she want to talk to me?

Is there something wrong with me?

If you think there's something wrong with me, Bill, come out and say it.

Or maybe she's not home yet.

I just don't understand how she can turn her back on all those years.

Used to be, your mother and I would make love, and then your mother would get

up, all flushed in the afterglow of our night's passion, and then she would make

me a stack of pancakes.

I'd give anything to have that back.

I'd give anything to have my love of pancakes back.

She's very happy now.

You weren't happy?

You couldn't kick the smiles off our faces then.

We got a little apartment.

We used to walk to the butt together.

It was wonderful.

What happened?

I don't know.

Maybe some people just shouldn't have a kid.

Wait, wait. You're saying I ruined your marriage?

Well, you drove me to drink, son.

Only I don't hold it against you because you were too young to know what you

were doing.

I can't believe you. Did you ever stop for one second to think that maybe the

problem was you?

I saw how you put Mom down and cheated on her.

You were a lousy husband, and it's too late to make up for that.

Maybe you're right.

No reason your mother should give me a second chance.

But I love her.

I love the woman.

When I saw her today, I thought my heart was gonna bust out of my chest.

I was an idiot to let her go, and I'll never be happy without her.

Dad.

You gotta get her to talk to me.

Get me one hour to plead my case. If she turns me down, I'll be on the next

plane back to Florida. I swear. Please, Billy.

Okay, I'll get her to talk to you, but I can't tell her to take you back.

I wouldn't expect you to.

You've never asked for my help before.

I didn't need to.

I had Carl.

Oh, I still can't reach Louise.

Bill, do you have any idea where your mom is?

You haven't heard from her? No, and I searched all over town to find a caterer

who could pull off this wedding in two weeks, and she doesn't bother to show up

to try the dessert sample, which are delicious.

Well, I'm sure she's just... I'll bet it's nothing bad.

It's nothing bad.

Where are you going?

I just thought I'd go for a little run.

Really? Will lions be chasing you?

Because that's the only reason you would ever run.

I'm afraid my mother's with my father.

Why would she be with him? She told him she didn't want to see him.

I may have called her last night on his behalf.

You called your mother for him?

I said may have.

Did you?

Yes.

He begged me. He's got their wedding album. He cried. He needed me.

After all these years, he finally stopped being such a jerk. He let his

down and let me in.

Oh, honey, that is so sweet.

I'm really happy for you, getting the family back together again, just like

times. You, your mommy, your daddy, and that nervous twitch you had when I first

met you.

I didn't have a twitch. Billy, will you take me?

There it is.

Judy. Billy.

Hi, Mom.

What a nice surprise. Well, come on in. I'm just making pancakes.

What's the matter? You love pancakes.

Not since my father told me she always made him a big stack of pancakes after

they... Would you like some?

If you guys don't mind, I kind of have company.

Okay, that's it. Dad, come out here.

Well, technically, I'm not your dad till noon tomorrow.

Your father's not here, Billy.

Didn't he come to see you last night?

Oh, yes, he did. Poor soul.

You know, he once told me that coming home to me was like falling in a sticker

bush and then rolling in a pile of salt.

He's singing a different tune now.

Really? What happened?

Oh, Judy, a lady doesn't make a grown man cry and then tell everybody.

Oh,

anyone mind if I dig in? For some reason, I'm starving.

Hey, Johnny, nice hot stack of pancakes.

Oh, technically, this should be toothache.

Come on in.

Who died?

Oh, I was on my way to the wedding rehearsal. I just stopped by to see if

needed to talk.

Oh, jeez.

Does that jacket come with a skirt, Emily?

You know, you were pretty upset yesterday.

Do me a favor. Forget about yesterday.

Fine.

So, uh...

What time's your flight?

6 .30.

You know, I'm going by the airport. You want a ride?

Taking a cab.

Okay.

Well, it was good to see you.

You were right, you know.

I treated your mother terribly.

Just like I treated Juanita terribly.

That's why she left me.

Juanita left you, but you just... I just never knew how to be a good husband.

Or a good father.

Now it's too late.

I'm a man who treated people badly, and now I'm gonna die alone.

You know, there's a chance you could still be a good father.

Thanks, Billy.

But what am I gonna do?

Knock up some broad just to redeem my life?

That seems like a lot of work.

I was talking about you and me.

Huh?

Oh.

Well, I guess there's something we could do about our relationship. I do have

some regrets in that area.

You do?

Sure.

You're my son.

It would mean a lot to me if we could start again.

I'm getting old, but people can change.

You try to change that, that means a lot.

Me? Hell no. I'm talking about you.

Can I take this off now?

I look like a freak.

What are you whining about? I look like a backup singer for a salmon.

Well, I got you both feet. I had to help Grandma put on the thing that was blue,

and without going into much detail, it went on right after the talcum powder.

She gave me this.

I'm up there on the altar, playing my heart out. Grandma gives me this.

Well, in your grandma's defense, son, you were sucking the stained glass out

the windows.

At least it's over.

You did a great job. You're a real trooper. Thank you. Oh, I just kept

myself that after today, your mother would be gone and our lives would be

to normal.

Hey, gorgeous.

Your old man said I could stay a couple of weeks.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cause you make me happy.