All language subtitles for still_standing_s03e10_lying

Oh, Bill, put that can of cheese down.

When was the last time you ate a piece
of fresh fruit?

I had raspberries for breakfast.

Those were crunch berries.

Oh, I did my crunches, too.

Hello, uh, everybody. I, uh, I have some
bad news. Now, I know you all liked

her, but Emily broke up with me.

Oh, it's like losing a member of the
family.

Who's Emily?

Brian, are you okay?

Yeah, I guess.

And to think I just bought us tickets to
go see Mamma Mia.

The ABBA musical?

Oh, that's why she broke up with you?

No. No, no, I'll go with you. I love
ABBA.

Really? That'd be great. And you know, I
heard that we have a heartwarming story

around 22 of their biggest hits.

Ben, what are you doing when you talk
about musicals around me?

Killing you.

How? Slowly.

one of these plastic surgery makeover
shows, what would you want done?

X -ray vision.

I don't think they do that.

Oh, well, then just an eye lift.

I tend to look a little sleepy all the
time.

Hey, Fitz.

Bill, I have to work Saturday, so you're
going to have to go to Tina's recital

for me.

Oh, Judy, I was just at one of Tina's
recitals last month.

You're going, and you're going to
videotape it for me. Did you get the

camera fixed?

Uh... Oh, crap!

Bill, why do I have to tell you a
hundred times just to do one small

So you do admit that it's partly your
fault.

Oh, now we'll never have it fixed in
time. It's Tina's last recital. She has

solo. You know, I got a camcorder. I
could go with Bill and tape it for you.

Really? Are you sure you don't have
anything better to do?

Well, Marion wants me to spend the day
scrapbooking with her, so, uh, no.

Or hell no.

Really, your choice.

Hello, Marion.

Judy. We were just talking about you.

Oh, really?

No, we weren't.

Would you like to come in?

No, thank you. I just came by looking
for my husband.

I was just wondering where the ice cream
is that I sent you out to get two hours

ago.

Right here.

Oh, by the way, Marion, I can't
scrapbook with you on Saturday because

to go with Bill to videotape Tina's
dance recital. Well, I guess as long as

you're doing something for somebody's
family.

I guess we better get this on ice, huh?

Bill? Judy?

She should just put the ice cream in her
lap. It'll freeze solid on her way

home.

I don't get those two.

You know, this is so laid back, and
she's such a freak about her perfect

and her precious ornamental towel.

Ooh, the towel incident. That was ugly.

did was wipe off my hands and she went
crazy on me. Who puts towels in the

bathroom and doesn't expect them to get
a little dirty?

That's why whenever I use the bathroom
at Fitz's house, I never wash my hands.

Kidding.

I wash them in the fish tank and dry
them on the dog.

I don't want to sound insensitive, but
those kids stunk.

There are only four.

And will they dance like there's three?

Oh, oh, I think Tina's up next.

And now, our eight -year -old ballerinas
will perform an excerpt from The Dance

of the Hours.

We should have Tina invite that tall one
over for a play date.

Their instructor, Miss Stephanie, is
performing the role of the Fairy Queen.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and
say, best recital ever.

That's it? It's over?

Yeah, Tina was adorable.

You got it, didn't you? One more time.
Who's with me?

Tina! Tina!

Tina!

Tina! Tina!

Daddy,

can I see myself on the tape?

Barely.

What it means is you gotta wait a couple
hours after you eat before you watch

yourself on tape or you'd get a cramp.

Oh, it's everything.

That's why you never see me doing
anything after I eat. Oh, yeah. Okay.

All right, let's see if I got any Tina
at all.

Now, there's Tina.

And then... That's not Tina.

Still not Tina.

Wow. Those are definitely not Tina.

Oh, oh, oh! There's Tina's elbow.

Back to Miss Stephanie.

Makes you glad you're alive.

We're out. Well, we'll just erase the
evidence and blame the battery. Hit

rewind.

Wow, she even looks hot going backwards.

Hey, what are you two up to? Nothing.

What are you doing home already?

Oh, they let me off early.

Oh, is that the videotape of Tina's
recital? Yeah, the tape kind of got

up. Oh, look, fine, let it play. No, no,
no, Judy, this is a digital camera.

We'd have to redigilate it before it can
be seen by the human eye.

Oh, look at Miss Stephanie. She is so
pretty.

Really? I don't see it.

Still Miss Stephanie.

More Miss Stephanie.

Oh, there's Tina.

Lie to Miss Stephanie.

Check out Tina's bow.

That's it?

That's all you got of Tina? You missed
her entire solo. Judy, I know you're mad

and I know what you're thinking.

How could I have trusted Fitz to hold
the camera? You're the master.

Well, thanks a lot, Fitz.

I told Tina I was going to watch her.
Now how am I supposed to tell her that I

can't? Yeah, Fitz, tell us, please.

Please.

Sorry, I guess I just couldn't keep the
camera off that pretty Miss Stephanie.

Because I'm a pig.

Well, I guess I'm going to have to lie
and tell Tina that I saw her.

I'm going upstairs.

Fitz, try and resist the urge to take
me.

Thanks a lot. Now Judy thinks I'm a
perv. Hey, I got you out of

I'd say we're even. I guess. We've got a
nice little arrangement here. I can lie

for you, you can lie for me, and our
wives never find out because they hate

other.

All because of a little ornamental
towel.

That towel's cleaned up a lot of messes.

I love that towel.

Come on, tell me.

No, it's a surprise.

What's going on?

Aunt Linda bought us tickets to another
musical tonight, and she won't tell me

which one.

Is it the annoying one where they sing
everything?

Okay, I'll give you a hint. You have the
T -shirt.

Uh, Les Mis. No.

Um, hairspray. No.

Uh, lacage. Oh, no, wait, no, that's a
tank top.

Goodbye, girls. It's a goodbye girl.

Thanks for ruining it, Bill.

And thanks for ruining him.

Game looks great on your TV, Fitz.

It's like I really am a beautiful, busty
woman killing people.

Coasters. Marion doesn't like us
drinking beer in here.

And use your nut plate.

She barely lets me have nuts in the
house.

Apparently.

Oh, man. Oh, my turn.

Now, you ready, gorgeous?

We're about to do a little running.

Right to the waterfall.

Oh, your T -shirt got wet.

Mac, you really need to meet a woman.

Hey, I'm not the one zoomed in on this
kid's dance teacher.

Hey, you didn't see Miss Stephanie.

Yeah. Here, check her out.

Sorry, the screen's a little smudged
because I've been kissing it.

Damn. See?

Well, I mean, damn.

Hey, whose elbow is that?

My kid's. It'll be gone in a second.

Pause it right there. Pause it. Pause
it. Can't find the right button there.

It's the green one. Oh, thanks, Mary.

Hi,

honey.

You're home early.

And a good thing.

Wouldn't want to miss the big stag
party.

William. Maxwell.

Hi, Mary.

So, I guess this is why you couldn't
scrapbook with me on Saturday.

You were off filming some little Pop
-Tart. Now you're showing it to your

pervert buddies.

Well, thanks for the nuts.

Which I didn't eat.

Not without a nut plate.

Daniel?

I taped it.

Pretty thing came twirling by, and I
just couldn't take my eyes off her.

Frankly, I don't know how Judy puts up
with me.

Well, she must be an incredibly
forgiving person. Oh, she is.

You know, when I saw her the other day,
it made me think how close we used to

be. I should give her a call.

What? Yeah, I remember why we had that
silly falling out.

Towels.

Oh, yes, my towels.

You remember?

She ruined him with her filthy, dirty
hands.

Your antique fingertip towels? You
couldn't replace that one she ruined.

broke up the set.

That's right. She broke up the set, your
heart, your friendship. There's no

healing that. No healing that.

Ever.

I guess you're right.

Wow, that was close.

Oh, jeez. Did I just step on a cashew?

for tonight.

Wow, who's the lucky guy?

Okay, all set, ready to go.

Oh, you look sharp.

Thanks, you too. Oh, I forgot the
tickets. I'll be right back.

Wow, it's great that you and Brian have
been spending so much time together.

Yeah, isn't it?

Yeah, but there's only one tiny little
problem. You see, you're dating your

nephew.

Seeing a few shows, having a couple
laughs, talking on the phone. Oh, my

we're dating.

Well, you're just in time. Prom's coming
up.

All set, shall we?

Ryan, sit down. We have to talk.

All right, but we might be late for
dinner, and I was hoping to get a table

the piano.

Listen, I have loved hanging out. out
with you, but, you know, ever since

broke up with you, without knowing it,
you've sort of made me your girlfriend.

What? Think about it. You know, the
plays, the dinners, that carriage ride.

Oh, my God.

Brian, it's all right. You've developed
a little crush on your aunt. It's

perfectly natural. Where? In countries
where they don't have enough people?

Come on, look, I know we're not really
dating, but... That doesn't mean I'm not

your ideal of an intelligent,
attractive... I think you're going to be

Oh, oh, yeah.

You could do a whole lot worse than me,
mister.

I don't know who you're talking to, but
no, he couldn't.

Hey, Judy, Mary. Ah, what are you doing
here?

Well, you left my house in such a hurry
yesterday, you forgot your scarf.

Thanks, Marion.

I just hate that you had to come over
here.

I just hate it.

We've actually been having a lovely time
catching up.

Well, you've got a lot to catch up on. I
mean, who knows what topics could come

up. Judy, can I see you in the kitchen?

Excuse me.

What's up?

You know how I told you that Fitz made
the tape at Tina's recital?

Yeah. Well, I've got to come clean with
you about something.

We told Marion that I did it.

Did you?

No, of course not.

No, no, no, that's the lie.

That I just did to cover for Fitz.

Why would you take the blame for Fitz?

Because you know Marianne. She's such a
wifey wife.

You know, not like you. You're a guy's
wife. You're cool. You get it.

Well, I try.

Thanks for noticing.

So, uh, you'll play along?

Sure. I'm cool with that. You're the
best.

Psst, Bill.

and left me a note that she's over here
with Judy.

This could be a disaster.

All taken care of, my friend. I sorted
everything out. So you told Judy that it

was really you that made the tape?

Oh, God, no.

She still thinks you did it. She's just
not going to say anything to Marion.

I think we'd better get in there.

Hey, Marion, I got your note that you
were over here.

Well, let's get going.

Oh, no, Judy and I are enjoying our
chat.

Yeah, we have so much to catch up on. I
bet you do. You know, the kids, the

weather.

What else?

Oh, gosh, yeah, that day Judy ruined
your towel.

That's all water under the bridge.

But no amount of water could get out
that stain.

I'm sure you managed to replace the
towel, right? I couldn't.

They were handmade by my grandmother.

It was the last set she embroidered
before she went blind.

Again, I'm really, really sorry about
that.

That's all right.

Although a handwritten apology note
would have been nice. Did we get one of

those, honey?

No. No, and it would have been
appreciated.

Well, in all fairness, as your guest,
I'd appreciate a hand towel I could

actually use.

Sorry for stirring that pot.

I guess this is what I get for trying to
be your friend.

I felt a little sorry for you, what with
Bill's wandering eye. Oh, Bill's

wandering eye? You know what? I can't do
this. Oh, sure you can, because you're

cool.

My husband wasn't the one checking out
the tutus. It was yours.

Bill's just covering for Fitz.

Look, everybody, it's snowing. Let's
make angels.

Come on.

Daniel, is this true?

Bill made the tape. I know we've lied
about it a hundred times, but that's the

God's honest truth. He did it.

Yes, I did it.

You really did it, didn't you?

Yeah.

Can I see you in the kitchen?

Sure.

Get the hell in the kitchen.

It was you, wasn't it? You've been lying
to me this whole time.

It was a small lie. It would have made
you angry. I was really just protecting

your feelings.

You were protecting your feelings. Don't
you care about my feelings?

Bill, I believed you. I made a fool of
you. lot of myself in front of old fancy

pants in there.

Listen, we can hear you out there, and
some of us have to sleep with old fancy

pants.

Sorry, we'll try and keep it down.
Thanks.

You know what, Bill? I don't care that
you were looking at another woman. What

bothers me is I had to work all day
Saturday, and I couldn't count on you to

this one little thing.

There's only one, Judy. I can't be
everywhere.

Hey, Mom, I'm going to the mall. I'm
going to return that sweater you got on

Saturday. Oh, thanks, honey.

Saturday? Wait a minute. I thought you
were at work on Saturday.

You know what, Bill? I forgive you. Go,
Lauren, go.

It turns out there is more than one
Judy.

There's working Judy, shopping Judy, and
lying sack of duty Judy.

All right.

They let me off early.

and instead of going to Tina's recital,
I went shopping, but only because I

thought my husband was taping it for me.
Well, the great thing is, we're both

gigantic liars. At the end, it all
turned out fine, and the only one who

hurt was Tina.

I guess.

Do you feel better?

Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So that's
it?

You guys come clean and it's all okay
all of a sudden?

Yeah, we might lie to each other and
stab each other in the back. And make

at each other's expense.

But in the end, it doesn't really matter
because we got a good marriage.

You know what?

Excuse me.

Marion, we need to talk.

About what?

About our marriage.

Bill and Judy made me realize we need to
learn to communicate better.

Well, that's exactly what I want.

Great, because...

You know, sometimes I feel like I can't
be completely honest with you. That's

just silly. You don't have to keep
things from me.

Oh, good.

Because, you know, who cares if I really
get off work at 5, even though I've

been telling you 6 for years so I could
have a couple of beers, you know?

Have a little fun before I have to come
home to you.

Oh, yeah.

And I am allowed to take calls from you
at work. There's no rule.

God, this feels good.

And that heart murmur that keeps me from
making love to you?

It's not real.

I could go all night long.

Yeah, well, theoretically.

Well, I guess as long as we're talking
about lies, I've got one for you.

Our marriage.

Oh, that was weird.

She seemed mad.

Don't worry.

It's going to be a whole new beginning
for you two.

Once Marion goes home and digests it...

In the end, it'll all be fine.

It's just a trial separation.

She'll take some time, digest it. It'll
all work out fine.

Okay, Fitz, divorce is like a whole new
beginning.

But once you digest it, you'll find that
you... Just shut up.

Okay, we should probably get going
before I start thinking about an hour.

Hey.

Hi.

It's been a while.

Yeah.

So what are you up to?

Um, actually, Lauren and I are just
about to go down to the theater and then

grab a bite to eat at, uh...

We'll have fun. Okay.

Brian!

Take care of you.

Thanks.

You too.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

Cause you make me happy.