All language subtitles for still_standing_s02e11_spending

Well, hello, sweet thing.

You seen what I'm seeing, boys?

I got eyes.

I'd like to get me some of that.

I know I'm not allowed to touch, but
there's no law against dreaming.

I gotta get a better look.

Um,

excuse me.

Uh, my friends and I were just, uh,
wondering if, um, you could get out of

way, you're blocking the big TV.

She is so beautiful. I wish I could take
her home with me.

Bill, I'm not married, but is this what
love feels like?

Yeah, except with this, you can turn it
on and fall asleep without getting

yelled at.

Hey, Graham, that's some love I can't
afford.

No, guys, I got a little surprise for
you. This is the floor model with a

beautiful little scrape right on the
side.

So with our employee discount, this is
only like a thousand bucks. I can't

believe I blew my last paycheck on
brakes for my car.

A thousand bucks, that's a pretty good
deal. Yeah, I was actually thinking

buying it myself, but I'm kind of saving
up to get that tattoo on my back

colored in.

So you're going to buy it?

Nah, even at that price, Judy would
never go for it. Which isn't fair,

work damn hard for my money.

Customer needs assistance in bathroom
fixtures? Not it. Not it!

I'm in love with you today, cause you
make me happy.

Prize for you, I rented your favorite
movie.

Terms of Endearment?

I rented your second favorite movie.

Fried Green Tomatoes? I rented a movie.

St. Elmo's Fire.

Oh, I love that movie.

You do know it's not about a big fire,
right? I know.

It's about a group of college graduates.
They thought they'd be friends forever,

but forever couldn't last.

Brief nudity, yes.

So, what's with the chick flick?

Well, I saw this, and it reminded me of
the time we went to see it at the

theater. I remember looking at you and
thinking, this is the woman I want to

spend the rest of my life with.

Oh, Bill, that is so sweet.

God, our TV is so small.

I knew it. What?

You want a new television.

No, that'd be crazy.

I want a slightly damaged floor model,
and with my employee discount, they're

practically paying me to take it. Oh,
how much are they paying you?

Negative $1 ,000.

Oh, we can't spend that kind of money.

I knew you were going to say that, so
I've come up with a complete solution

this entire problem.

Bill, it's not going to come to you. I
know.

Listen, when it comes to our financial
decisions, we both have to agree on

everything. All right, all in favor of
buying the TV, raise your hand.

That doesn't count!

Oh, looks like somebody's regretting the
vote they already cast.

Shut it out!

All right, fine.

Let's just watch the tiny little movie.

Hey. Hey, Linda.

What are you guys up to? Watching a
movie.

Ooh,

isn't Elmo fun?

Andrew McCarthy and Rob Lowe.

Love to be the meat in that sandwich.

I'm guessing that bread would have to be
awfully toasted.

Want beer?

Yeah, that'd be nice.

Oh, Bill, there's a spider on your
pants. Where, where?

Oh, my mistake.

But now that you're up, can you get us
some beer?

What a night. No new TV, crappy movie,
bag of jelly beans I ate on the way home

really creating problems.

Judy, okay.

Here's half the money that you loaned
me. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What did you just say?

I'm just paying Judy back.

Judy loaned you money?

Oh, but that can't be possible, because
that would be a financial decision I

would have been a part of.

Hey, Bill, look, there's nudity.

So, you loaned her money without telling
me.

Look, it's an emergency. She needed a
new transmission. And besides, she's

to pay us back when she gets her bonus
next week.

Yeah, like I always do. Linda. Like you
always do.

Okay, now I get it. There's a loophole
in our money rules, and it's about, ooh,

this big.

Bill, there's a big difference in
spending money on a television and

money to someone in an emergency.

Yeah, like when I had that big date and
I had to get my teeth whitened. Will you

please shut up?

When you spend... When you spend money,
it's different than when you loan money.

When you spend it, you never see it
again. When you loan it, you get it

That's why they call it a loan.

Oh, a loan.

Like how you make our financial
decisions. A loan.

Okay, Bill, I get your point.

Fine. You know what? I'm going to the
bar. I'm going to have a few beers, and

I'm not going to ask you if I can buy
them.

I'm going to make that financial
decision alone.

20 bucks in my purse.

Thanks.

Judy and I decided we can't buy the TV.

What's the matter? Mommy wouldn't let
you buy it?

No. Judy and I came to a mutual decision
that it would be irresponsible.

Mommy won't let him buy it.

Only because I let her not let me buy
it.

Ooh, you're so tough when you're doing
what you're told.

You see, this is why you don't marry the
pretty ones. They tell you what to do.

You marry a woman with bad skin and
thick ankles, she'll carry that TV home

you.

And this TV belongs in one of our
places.

Yeah, every Sunday we could get
together, watch the game.

Well, you know, I've got 600 bucks in my
tattoo fund.

I know I could get 100 bucks for my car,
but that still leaves me like $300

short. I'm not going to have that kind
of scratch until next week, unless I get

a loan.

Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say a
loan?

Of course, that's exactly what you're
gonna get.

Are you kidding?

I'd never qualify.

Well, that's because you've never been
to the Bank of Bill, my friend.

Is that near the strip club on Halstead?

Yeah, sometimes.

See, someone once told me, when you
spend money, it's gone.

But when you loan money, it comes back.

the money to buy the TV, and I get to
come over to your place to watch it any

time I want.

You sure that's going to be all right
with Mommy?

Hey, I'm the man of the house, because
I'm taking the rules she laid down and

twisting them to suit my needs.

Wow, you know, you guys up in bathroom
fixtures are pretty sharp.

Our motto is, we're number one and
number two.

Lost again. I'm sorry.

Yeah,

now go upstairs before we marry you off.

Oh, I'm so glad you're home.

It's comforting when the man of the
house walks through the door. Wait,

wait a minute. Why are you glad I'm
home?

Wait, wait. Why are you the man of the
house?

Well, I'm glad you asked, because today
I exercised my power of financial

freedom. Oh, please tell me you did not
buy that TV.

Of course not, because as you explained
to me, when you spend money, you don't

get it back.

But when you loan money... What did you
do?

I loaned the money to Jeff from
Electronics to buy the TV, which, per

conversation last night, only requires
one vote.

Ding!

Bill, what if something breaks and we
need to come up with cash real quick?

Well, that's not gonna happen, Miss Doom
and Gloom. You got nothing.

Well, you got me.

Honey, would you do me a favor and put
some hot water in that pot over there?

Sure. You're darn right I got you.

Because I found a way to enjoy the
pleasures of the big screen without

any money. You are a super -duper
genius.

Tell me more.

Sounds like someone's a little jealous
because I beat them at their own game.

This isn't really about the money, is
it, Judy?

It's about power.

Who has it and who wants it.

How's that water coming?

So,

now I have the power to watch football
every Sunday at Jeff's house on a big

screen that costs us, let me add it up,
zero dollars.

And we all live happily ever after.

That's a cute little story, Bill. Hey,
I've got a story for you. Today the

heater broke. The end.

Water heater broke?

Yes, you could stop doing that.

So, in conclusion, Conclusion, who here
thinks Bill made a stupid decision?

Ding.

I can't believe the water heater broke.

Yeah, and it needs to be replaced, so
you've got to go to Jeff and get that

money back.

Well, why don't you go get the money
back from Linda? I did, but it's not

for a new water heater. All right, I'll
just fix the one we already have. I am

the man of the house. Oh, Bill, you are
not a fixer. That's not true. I fixed

the railing on the basement stairs, and
I'll fix that water heater.

Damn railing.

I'll get the money back from Jeff.

Hey, Carl.

Didn't know you were working today.

I'm not. My cable's out.

Why are you wearing your work blazer?

Because I don't want to look like a
loser standing here watching cartoons on

day off.

Have you seen Jeff?

No way, man. Sick people gross me out.

What?

Oh, you didn't hear?

Jeff broke his pelvis trying to move
that big TV he bought.

He's flat on his back at his mother's
place. He broke his pelvis. That's

horrible. Yeah, real horrible.

Guy gets to lie in bed for two months
watching a big screen TV while people

attend to his pelvis.

And if you're not familiar with the
pelvis, it's in this area.

What's he gonna do for money? You know,
food, rent, the paying back of loans.

I took up a collection for him. That's
great, Carl. How much you got?

Looks like a couple bucks.

Oh, come on. You've got to do better
than this.

Yeah, well, people don't exactly dig
deep when you mention the name Jeff

Hackman.

Wait a minute. That's Jeff Hackman?

Oh, my God. I loaned money to Hackman.
Never pay you back, man.

You know how he got that nickname? Shut
up.

The bath's water warm yet? Almost.

You know, this stinks. How much longer
is the water heater going to be out? I

don't know. Could be another day.

You know, I heard you and Dad talking
about finances. I have a computer

that could help you.

Hey, wait a minute. That's not a bad
idea. How much do you think we could get

for your computer?

Hi. Oh, God, that's not... I've got the
money to solve your problems, hi.

No, but I brought you flowers.

You spent money on flowers?

No, somebody sent them to Jeff.

Why are people sending Jeff flowers? Is
Jeff dead?

No.

He did kind of break his pelvis.

What? How?

Getting the TV home.

So I'm guessing you didn't get the
money. What is the matter with you? A

pelvis has been crushed, and all you can
think about is the money.

Sometimes, Judy, you make me so angry.

This whole thing with you pretending to
be the angry one never works, Bill.

That makes me so mad.

Go on, Bill. At this point, I'm just in
it for the show.

You know what? I was thinking about this
on the way home. Why don't we have the

money? What are you saying?

Well, you're the one who handles all the
bills around here, and you're so sure

we're out of money.

You know what? I'm a professional
businessman.

I bet if I took a look at our books, I
could find an extra couple of hundred

bucks. Oh, you couldn't find a couple of
hundred bucks in a pile of a couple of

hundred bucks.

All right, bring it on. Or are you
afraid I'm going to find all your hidden

money? Oh, come on, Bill. Let's go on a
hunt for all the hidden money. This

should be fun.

Let's start with the blue folder.

Oh, the blue folder.

Golly, sure hope I can understand it.

Okay, this is our monthly bank
statement. This is what we make every

this is what we spend. Oh, well, we make
more than we spend.

That's good news.

Well, it would be if we didn't have the
red folder.

Okay, already I can see we would save
money by having one less folder.

That's good, Bill. Put the 39 cents in
your call.

All right, then. We use the red folder
to hold the bills that we're juggling,

like this bill.

credit card debt.

Wow. What idiot gave us that much
credit?

And there are the incentives, the
doctor's bill, the dentist bill, student

activity fees, dance class, field trips.
Then there's the bills we pay every

month, the mortgage, the phone, the gas,
and car insurance. Yeah, stop, stop,

stop, stop. I'm out.

And this month is very tough, Bill,
because the car needed new tires, the

property tax was due, and now you see
why you can't go lending people money.

You loaned money to Linda. What if
something had happened to her?

She could have been hit by a car.

Or pushed under a train.

Or gored by two bulls that were running
at each other head -on.

Or plummeted at each other. I see you're
giving us a lot of thought.

Sometimes it's hard for me to fall
asleep at night.

The point is, Bill, this stuff is hard,
and I'm on my own. Whenever I bring up

our finances, you're always...

Judy, in my defense, that's just because
all this stuff is boring and hard.

That's right, Bill, it is. But I do it
for us. And if you're going to give me

the responsibility, then you can't
complain about it.

On the other hand, I should have talked
to you first before I loaned Linda

money. Thank you. You're welcome.

We're agreed I never have to look at the
blue folder again. Yes.

Now, we've got to go get our money back
from Jeff. I don't think Jeff has any

money. Well, maybe not, but he's got a
big -screen TV that's one -third ours

a receipt. Now, let's go.

Oh, you are so smart.

Why did you marry me?

Because booze goes right to my head.

Evening. I'm Bill Miller. This is my
wife, Judy.

I work with your son. We just wanted to
come by and see how he's doing. Oh,

that's so sweet of you.

We just love Jeff.

He's a little loopy right now. with all
the medication, so you'll have to bear

with him. Come on in.

We bought him some flowers.

Oh, thank you. How thoughtful.

Well, it's the least we could do for our
dear, dear friend Jeff.

How long have you known my son?

Is he sleeping?

I think so.

Fifteen years.

So you knew him when he was with Annie?

Oh, yeah.

Good thing he got rid of her, huh?

She died.

Well,

when someone dies, you don't want to
keep them around.

Maybe we should get these in some water.

I'll go find a vase.

Okay, I'll go distract the old lady
while you shake down the sick guy.

My God, I'll go up and suck.

There's my guy.

Hey, Jeff.

Bill. Bill.

Bill.

Word tastes like peaches today.

Hey, where's the TV?

Oh, it's over at my place.

I had a heck of a time getting it in
there. I'm surprised I didn't hurt

This might not be the best time to ask,
but our water heater busted, and I need

the money I loaned you to pay the
plumber.

Plumber. Plumber.

Plumer.

That one tastes like kumquats.

Jeff, look, I'm sorry, but I need to
return the TV for the money. Okay, man,

whatever you gotta do. Whatever. Great,
great, great. I'm gonna need your house

keys and your receipt.

Check my pocket.

You're not wearing pants, are you?

No, I'm not.

Pass her over there.

Great.

Right this way, honey.

Oh!

I'm just such a neat freak.

Come this way.

Hey, guess what, Bill? Apparently, I'm
the same size as Annie, and Mrs.

Hackman's going to give me a couple of
bags of her old clothes.

I think you better try them on first.

It's the receipt in your wallet, Jeff.

Jeff, Jeff!

Bill!

Hey, buddy.

What's happening?

I need to find the receipt.

Okay, man, here.

Give me my wallet. I'll look for it.
Wait. First, take my mittens off.

Oh, thank you.

Don't lose those.

All right.

Okay, here you go.

That's your driver's license.

I'm sorry, officer. I'm a little drunk.

Give me the wallet. Maybe I can find it.

Bill, come here. Come here. Did you hear
what happened to Jeff?

You're Jeff.

I have?

That means I'm the guy who broke his...
Keep it down. What are you doing?

Why do you have his wallet and keys?

My husband was angry because I loaned my
sister some money, so he gave some

money to Jeff to buy the TV, and now our
water heater broke, so we need that

money back. Could you please help us?

Oh, sure.

God, yeah. Let me get my checkbook.

Really? No.

Now get the hell out of my house.

Bye, Jeff.

Bye, Jeff.

No, you're Jeff.

I am?

That means I'm the guy that broke his...
All right, we're

leaving. Well, the bright side, at least
we didn't take advantage of a drugged

-out guy laid up in a hospital bed.

No, but we tried.

But we didn't. Maybe God has given us
this opportunity to do the right thing.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Carl. What are you doing here?

Oh, I just came by to give Jeff the
collection I took up for him. Well,

like you got quite a bit of cash there.
Yeah, I took off Jeff's name and taped

on a picture of a three -legged dog.

Good thinking. Yeah.

I better go in. Hey, you might want to
wait a minute. They're changing Jeff's

bedpan. Oh, gross.

Hey, could you take it in for me? Sure.

Thanks. You're a friend.

Bill?

Maybe God got a whiff of us and decided
to cut us a break.

We have to at least try to give it to
him.

Okay, then.

Bill and Judy again.

I'm calling the cops.

God has spoken.

I'm good.

I wouldn't have it any other way.