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What's for dinner?
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Sunday's lasagna.
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Ah, Sunday's lasagna.
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I knew you'd come crawling back.
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One more day it would have.
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I'm surprised leftovers to make it this
long with Bill in the house.
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00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:22,610
You know, Linda, if more men like
leftovers, you might be able to find a
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It'll happen by the day. meeting a
wonderful guy for a couple of weeks now.
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name is Doug. He has two sons.
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I don't want to get attached.
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Are you staying for dinner tonight?
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No, no, I'm making dinner for Doug and
the boys.
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Something healthy. I find it keeps their
energy up. You should really try it
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with your kids.
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Yeah, except I don't want to keep their
energy up. That's why I stuff them with
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cheese so they're low -key by eight.
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Dinner! Mrs. Hudson's here to take me to
dance. No, Mom, bye. Honey, what about
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your dinner?
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00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:54,690
Well, we're stopping for something on
the way back. Oh, sweetie, fast food is
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bad for you.
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00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:57,970
You want me to bring you something?
Yeah, you know what I like.
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Yeah, well, kids will always run out the
door if you let them.
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That's what Doug says.
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That's why we have family night.
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Family night?
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Yeah, on the week, so Doug and I have
the kids. We have one night together
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no TV, no friends, just our family.
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You know, mother to mother.
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You might want to put in the effort.
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It's nice that your new boyfriend has
kids, but until you're burping a baby
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he pukes down your cleavage, you're just
playing house, sweetie.
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That's right, Brian.
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Dinner time. Family time.
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Where are you going?
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I'm taking a prep. It's SAT test online.
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Brian, it's important to have dinner
with your mother and father.
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Are you guys sick or something?
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No, I just want to spend some precious
time with my son.
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Oh, my God. Am I sick?
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Just go.
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Honey, this was half filled with peanut
butter. Did you eat it?
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No. Do you want dinner?
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No. Do you want to go lay down?
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Yes.
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Do you have something you want to say?
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No, I think your family just said it for
me. We can have family night any time
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we want to. We just so happen to be busy
tonight.
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00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:10,380
Yeah, well, you know, Doug says we're
only as busy as we want to be. Well,
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says Doug can kiss her ass.
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00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,160
Let's just get going.
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Much of this big TV special. Dirty
commercials from Europe.
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Sit down and have dinner with your wife.
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But I'm learning about different
cultures and what they look like naked.
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Sit down, Bill.
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They're about to show how they sell
butter in France.
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Sit.
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So how was your day?
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Fine. Did you have a lot of customers?
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Nope.
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Look, if instead of having a nice
conversation with your wife, you'd
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watch naked French people wallow in
butter... Then just go.
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You know,
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thanks to your lasagna and the Time
magazine in the bathroom, I now know
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everything about the Middle East.
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We need to talk.
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00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:12,000
Okay, what do you need to know? Because
I'm going to forget it all in like 30
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seconds.
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00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:17,360
We do nothing together as a family. What
are you talking about? We watch TV
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together all night.
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The kids weren't even there.
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Oh, my God. I ate all those cookies by
myself.
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We don't even eat dinner together, and
time is flying by us. Brian's already
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talking about his SATs. Before you know
it, the kids will be all moved out.
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00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:33,720
Ah, and then the whole house becomes
clothing optional.
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No.
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Judy, we do lots of things together as a
family.
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Like what? Well, we all went to your
aunt's funeral.
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I can't remember what a bummer that was.
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We are going to start having a family
night. No TV, no computer, no outside
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plans, and you are going to back me up.
No TV?
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Don't we love each other enough to go a
few hours without television?
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It depends what's on.
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Bill, we are doing this.
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Okay. Fine.
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Good night. Good night, Bill.
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You don't want to have family night.
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You don't want to have family night.
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I'm still awake, Bill.
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No, you're not.
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Hey, kids. Daddy's home.
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Hi, Dad.
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Why do you both look so sad?
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Only one of you has to rub my feet.
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told us about this stupid family night
idea. Hey, this is something your mother
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wants, and it's important that we keep
her happy, because if she leaves, I
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know where any of the money is, so just
suck it up.
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to
spend some time with another family that
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cost me a lot of money.
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The Chicago Bears.
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00:04:57,140 --> 00:04:59,320
Dad, we do know that family night is
tonight.
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What? No, no, not tonight. I got 50
bucks on this game.
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Hey, turn off that TV. It's family
night.
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you, Bill. See, your father's just as
excited about this as I am.
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Bill, you only muted it.
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Oh, it's a complicated remote.
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I'm gonna go get Tina, and I'll set up
the board game. This is gonna be so much
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fun.
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Okay, new plan.
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We pretend we love it, we get through it
fast, and you can do what you want, and
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I can watch football.
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Gotcha.
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Dad, aren't you the boss?
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Why don't you just go in there and tell
Mom that you don't want to do this?
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I'm just kidding. Look at his face,
Brian.
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Okay, here we go. I thought we would
start with this game. I know, that was
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confusing. It takes forever.
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Yeah, besides, it's missing pieces.
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Well, so we'll make two. Somebody could
be the watch battery, somebody could be
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the lighter, and somebody could be the
plastic bug. Not plastic!
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00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:59,850
I want to play Go Fish.
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Go Fish is stupid.
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You're stupid.
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00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:07,650
Now, come on, Lauren. You sure you don't
want a quick game of Go Fish?
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Oh, yeah, sure.
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Go fish it in.
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Hey, isn't this nice? We're playing a
game as a family.
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Yeah, it is.
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Here, Tina, let me help you with your
hand.
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00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:24,700
All right, Tina has two sixes. Well, I
got one here. The other one. All right.
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What else does she need?
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Twos and jacks. Oh, twos. Jacks. All
right, Tina wins. Well, that was fun.
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I love you guys. Me too.
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Yay!
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that much. All I want is for us to be a
family that plays together, like this
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family on the back.
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00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:44,740
That boy looks like a dweeb.
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The girl looks snotty. The mom's kind of
hot. Hey, that is our family.
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Okay, so we're not board game people,
but I was thinking about it today, and I
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remember what my family used to love to
do.
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Make me wait in the porch till you were
ready?
141
00:06:57,780 --> 00:07:01,460
Well, that, and she can solve puzzles.
We used to have a ball putting them
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00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:03,580
together. I wouldn't know. I was on the
porch.
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So today, while I was at this...
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I've got us some puzzles.
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A 500 -piece one to start with and a 2
,000 -piecer for when we get good at it.
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We're gonna get good at it?
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I have an idea.
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Let's play hide -and -go -seek.
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I'll go hide at the mall.
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Okay, I have had it with this attitude.
I'm asking for one night. Bill, will you
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00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:28,270
please pack me up? Sure thing, honey.
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Now, look.
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I know I've made my share of jokes about
this.
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But your mother and I are together on
this 100%. We're going to have family
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night once a week from now on.
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I can see your reflection in the window,
Bill.
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No, you can't.
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00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,980
Look, Bill, forget it. I guess I'm the
only one who cares about this family
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spending time together.
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Oh, no, no. We want to do a puzzle. A
big one. The 2 ,000 -piece -er.
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Hey, found a corner.
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Yeah, close enough.
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Hey. Hi.
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Just working on the puzzle.
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Great.
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00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:29,340
White kittens in the snow.
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What kind of thick bastard comes up with
this stuff?
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00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:36,700
Where you been?
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Went to the bar.
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Saw the Bears game. Had a couple guys
hit on me. Who won?
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Cute blonde guy.
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00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:49,050
Judy, I'm sorry about tonight. I was
acting like an idiot.
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Oh, no, I'm the idiot.
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We're not a family night kind of family.
We're just a bunch of people who live
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in the same house.
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Not true, Judy.
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In fact, to make it up to you, we're
going to get family night another shot,
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I'm going to plan it.
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00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,430
You're not a planner. Yes, I am.
180
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,790
Oh, yeah? Remember when you planned
Brian's birthday party?
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00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,280
What birthday party?
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00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:09,920
Exactly. Should I keep going?
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00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,880
Honey, trust me, I'm totally on board
with family night. This time tomorrow,
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00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:17,260
prepare to be wowed. Oh, yeah? What are
you going to do?
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00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,660
I don't know, but I'll planet...
planet... planetarium. We're going to go
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planetarium.
187
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:25,100
That's not a bad idea.
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00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,480
Wait, we're not just going to lay in the
backyard while you play Pink Floyd, are
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00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,480
we, Bill?
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00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,240
Spoil my anniversary surprise? No way.
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00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:41,650
and get a move on. We're leaving for the
planetarium in ten minutes.
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00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:46,710
What was that for?
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For family night.
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00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:51,750
Well, maybe after a night of staring at
the planets, you and I can come home.
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00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,670
You're not going to do a Uranus joke,
are you?
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00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:56,990
I was going to say have sex, but yours
is funnier.
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00:09:57,970 --> 00:10:00,310
Bill, you get the coats. I'll go
upstairs and round up the kids.
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00:10:00,710 --> 00:10:03,190
Judy, you think they'll ever send a
probe to Uranus?
199
00:10:11,980 --> 00:10:12,719
You ready?
200
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:13,639
For what?
201
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,060
Giving you a ride to the bowling alley,
remember?
202
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:19,020
Oh, no, league tryouts are tonight. I
forgot all about it.
203
00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:21,680
Promised to take my family to the
planetarium.
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00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,220
I'll be bowling while you're looking at
a bunch of fish.
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00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:29,199
Planetarium, Berger.
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00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,580
All right, plants, whatever.
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00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:35,100
All I know is it's one less person I
gotta beat to get the last spot on the
208
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,800
team. Damn it, I've been trying to get
on that team for months.
209
00:10:38,140 --> 00:10:39,140
Bill, you getting the coach?
210
00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:40,720
Oh, I think Mommy's calling.
211
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,980
Just sign me up. I'll be there.
212
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,780
What? You're kidding me.
213
00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:52,920
Well, that's terrible.
214
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,360
What's going on?
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00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,200
Planetarium's closed.
216
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:57,420
Why?
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00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:58,720
Pipe broke.
218
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:04,120
Oh, well, there goes family night. See y
'all next week. Hey, we're all dressed.
219
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,200
We're going somewhere.
220
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:06,820
Okay, anybody have any ideas?
221
00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:08,059
I'm shopping.
222
00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:09,060
Bowling. Perfect.
223
00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:11,350
Nobody said bowling.
224
00:11:11,530 --> 00:11:12,630
You sure? I heard bowling.
225
00:11:13,610 --> 00:11:17,850
Hey, no whining. That's a fun family
night. Good idea, Bill. That's what I
226
00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:19,830
thinking. I wanted to see the stars.
227
00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:24,030
Well, you still can, Tina. Close your
eyes real tight and rub them with your
228
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:25,030
fists.
229
00:11:26,830 --> 00:11:27,830
Wow.
230
00:11:32,210 --> 00:11:34,450
All right, I think this is going to be
lots of fun.
231
00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:37,070
Wow, this is going to be the best family
night ever.
232
00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:38,850
I'm just going to go get me a ball.
233
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:41,330
right here.
234
00:11:41,370 --> 00:11:45,530
I know, but last time I was here, I hit
a really good one under the cigarette
235
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:46,610
machine. I'll be right back.
236
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:55,770
All right, I'm here. What am I up to?
You're up fourth, right behind me,
237
00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:58,110
up the rear, just where I like you.
238
00:11:58,430 --> 00:11:59,810
That doesn't sound right.
239
00:12:00,710 --> 00:12:02,070
I'm going to finish my turn.
240
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:06,090
Hi.
241
00:12:06,870 --> 00:12:08,490
Hey, we're the Jensen's.
242
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:11,250
Oh, we're the Millers. I'm Cheryl.
243
00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:15,230
That's Tommy, Cindy, Austin, and my
husband, Big Tom.
244
00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:18,990
Better watch it. Every family that plays
next to us usually gets a pretty good
245
00:12:18,990 --> 00:12:22,810
shellacking. Well, every family that
plays next to us usually gets food
246
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:23,810
on them. Okay.
247
00:12:58,860 --> 00:12:59,519
to compete.
248
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,200
Oh, well, of course not. But just for
the record, we're ahead.
249
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,880
Just for the record, you're a freaking
lunatic.
250
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,980
Oh, Billy, come on, you're up. I'm
looking pretty good for the team. Just
251
00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:15,420
up. So I guess you better just roll the
strike.
252
00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:19,480
Great idea.
253
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:20,960
Thanks, buddy.
254
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:23,519
Go ahead.
255
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:26,160
Nope, you go ahead. Losing team goes
first.
256
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:31,520
Not very well, huh, Big Tom?
257
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:33,460
A booyah.
258
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:37,260
Can I just bowl?
259
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,480
Oh, of course.
260
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:43,520
Crack.
261
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:44,940
Nice job, Mommy.
262
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,160
Where are the snacks?
263
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:49,420
What? Oh, they ran out of snacks.
264
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,380
Out of snacks at a bowling alley?
265
00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:53,900
You're right, that's crazy. I'll go
check again.
266
00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:12,070
I'd knock him over with your mind,
Bergner, especially your mind.
267
00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:15,810
Don't rush me, Miller. This is my
process.
268
00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:18,130
If you're in such a hurry, why don't you
just go ahead?
269
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:23,410
Thanks for letting me go out of turn.
270
00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:28,010
This is so lame. Where's our food?
271
00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:30,250
They're still cooking it. I'll grab it
after this, Frank.
272
00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:31,930
Dad, it's Tina's turn.
273
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:33,430
Oh, sorry.
274
00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:36,370
Here, let me help you with that.
275
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:44,760
Let go of the ball.
276
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:46,320
Now.
277
00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:53,380
That ball finally gets down there. It's
going to knock over some pins. When it
278
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:54,920
does, Daddy's going to be real proud of
you.
279
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,280
I'm sorry, but your little girl cheated.
280
00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:03,020
What? It doesn't count. She crossed over
the foul line.
281
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:06,420
Okay, then I guess we lose this game we
haven't been playing.
282
00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:08,420
Can you believe this, Bill?
283
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,520
Bill? He's gone again. What the hell?
How does he keep bowling? Maybe he's
284
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,520
fighting crime.
285
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:18,980
Yes! Pardon me.
286
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,980
Who are you and why are you bowling on
my lane?
287
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:27,040
Oh, I'm with the bowling alley. This
one's all fixed, Jim.
288
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:28,920
Shouldn't give you any more problems.
289
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:33,080
He's not here in five seconds. I say
he's out.
290
00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:53,150
That's for tonight, Judy. I'm sorry.
291
00:15:53,450 --> 00:15:56,590
Zip it, Bill. I've had it. I thought
tonight was about being together, but
292
00:15:56,590 --> 00:16:00,090
clearly it was just about you. Look, I
know what I did was stupid, and you're
293
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:04,050
really mad, and you have every right to
be, but on a side note, I've bowled six
294
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:07,250
strikes in a row, so if God's not mad at
me, how can you be?
295
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:09,650
Hardness? Millers?
296
00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:11,089
It's your turn.
297
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:13,310
Back off, lady. We're having a family
discussion.
298
00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:15,010
Some family?
299
00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:16,430
Excuse me?
300
00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:17,530
Oh, no.
301
00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:18,770
Come on, kid.
302
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,600
Put on your shoes. We're going. This
whole family night thing has been a
303
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,279
of time.
304
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,640
Looks like the Millers forfeit.
305
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,540
And the Jensens win again.
306
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:26,840
Yes!
307
00:16:27,140 --> 00:16:28,860
Who the hell are these people?
308
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:34,620
Jensens. I think they're playing against
us. Correction. We were playing against
309
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:35,900
you. Your family forfeited.
310
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,280
Oh, really?
311
00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:40,480
Well, I say the Millers don't forfeit.
312
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:45,160
I say the Millers forget their
differences and bowl with pride against
313
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,900
Jensens. Now, who's with me?
314
00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:50,790
Just a bunch of crickets there, buddy.
315
00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:53,350
Good one, Big Tom.
316
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:54,729
Burned you up.
317
00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:57,350
Well, no, but we've burned you because
we'll actually burn you.
318
00:16:59,490 --> 00:17:01,050
Okay, lady, you want to play?
319
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,270
Let's play.
320
00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:04,510
Oh, you're in trouble now.
321
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:09,410
We may not be go fish people and we may
not be puzzle people, but you're about
322
00:17:09,410 --> 00:17:11,329
to find out that we are bitter petty
people.
323
00:17:11,569 --> 00:17:12,569
Yeah!
324
00:17:12,829 --> 00:17:16,550
Miller, what's the deal? You're up. At
last, Bergner. I'm busy with my family.
325
00:17:16,710 --> 00:17:18,310
If you don't ball right now, you're
never going to make the team.
326
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,540
I already have a team.
327
00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:23,000
Thank you, Bill.
328
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,839
All right, Big Tom, let's go.
329
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:30,680
I got a hundred bucks that says the
Millers wiped the floor with you.
330
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:37,240
64, 65, 66.
331
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,980
And that's all I got.
332
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:41,960
Give me your address and we'll drop by
and give you the rest.
333
00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:43,220
We're good.
334
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,200
I can't believe we lost to those idiots.
335
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:51,530
I can't... Can't you believe it? We
dunked. Hey, we might have lost, and we
336
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:53,270
might have missed a spare or two,
Lauren.
337
00:17:55,010 --> 00:17:58,750
But the point is, we stunk together as a
family, and that's a memory we'll
338
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:03,510
always have. And more importantly, we
shorted them 34 bucks.
339
00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:05,470
Jetson's rule!
340
00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:06,690
Jetson's rule!
341
00:18:07,910 --> 00:18:10,870
Sin of those Jetsons. Now, come on,
let's be good sports.
342
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,270
As a matter of fact, I'm going to go
over there and congratulate them.
343
00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:15,450
Yes, I am.
344
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:21,570
You guys go out into the parking lot,
find a geeky minivan plastered with
345
00:18:21,570 --> 00:18:25,170
roll stickers, and write Miller's Rule
in ketchup and mustard.
346
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,750
Who has the best mommy in the world?
347
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,480
They do kind of get in the way.
348
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:57,900
Maybe she can't see us.
349
00:18:58,260 --> 00:18:59,260
I see you.
350
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,140
Well, Doug broke up with me.
351
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,480
Oh, honey.
352
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,220
Yeah, you know what he says now? He
says, it's not me, it's him.
353
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,700
If it makes you feel any better, it
really is you.
354
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:17,180
Honey, I know what might cheer you up.
355
00:19:17,550 --> 00:19:19,670
Let's do a puzzle like we used to do
with Mom and Dad.
356
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,250
Can we drink? There's wine in the
fridge.
357
00:19:24,190 --> 00:19:25,190
Thanks, guys.
358
00:19:25,690 --> 00:19:28,710
Hey, uh, you know, you're the only
family I need.
359
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:34,210
It's going to be a really fun night.
We'll do puzzles and watch movies. It'll
360
00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:35,330
like our own little slumber party.
361
00:19:37,930 --> 00:19:39,030
Come on, we can't.
362
00:20:11,850 --> 00:20:12,850
Wouldn't happen.
28539
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