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1
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:07,120
Bill, do we need to have that discussion
about you wearing pants in the kitchen
2
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,120
again?
3
00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:13,760
Oh, I see. So you want a whore in the
bedroom and a daddy in the kitchen.
4
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:18,260
Just get dressed. We're meeting Linda
and her new boyfriend in a half hour.
5
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,660
All right, but I'm telling you, this
better be a short night. I don't care
6
00:00:21,660 --> 00:00:24,080
we are. At 9 .30, the pants are coming
off.
7
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,960
Fine, just don't forget them like last
time.
8
00:00:27,620 --> 00:00:28,620
No.
9
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,200
It's bad enough your sister has to date
these losers.
10
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:32,759
Why do I have to date them, too?
11
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:36,780
Because we're family, and that's what
you do for a family. Besides, it hasn't
12
00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:37,719
been that bad.
13
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:38,720
Not that bad.
14
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:42,140
Let's take a look at the winners she's
picked in the past.
15
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,500
It was the last guy she dated. Huge
beard, the Civil War buff.
16
00:00:48,020 --> 00:00:49,280
Sure sweat a lot.
17
00:00:49,940 --> 00:00:55,080
And, oh, let's not forget neck tattoo
guy, also known as can't leave the
18
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,520
It's not easy out there.
19
00:00:57,740 --> 00:00:59,460
No, but obviously your sister is.
20
00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:04,360
Give her a break. She's still waiting
for the right guy. She's not willing to
21
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:05,360
settle like I do.
22
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:06,920
How did you settle?
23
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:10,780
There's a man with no pants and a raw
wiener in his hand.
24
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,360
Is that a come on?
25
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:15,360
We've got three minutes.
26
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,800
I only need two because I'm half
undressed.
27
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:28,600
So I keep trying to put my key into
28
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:32,260
my car door and it's not working. And
I'm like, why isn't he not working? It's
29
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,219
my car.
30
00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:37,300
And then this cute guy comes over and
he's like, hey, what are you trying to
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00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:38,119
break into my car?
32
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,780
And I'm like, breaking into his car?
What is he talking about?
33
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,020
You both drive the same kind of car.
34
00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:48,660
Yeah. Isn't that a great story?
35
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,840
If it's done, then the answer's yes.
36
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,260
That's a cute way to meet.
37
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:54,520
How did you guys meet?
38
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,700
It was pretty much like your story,
except we were both trying to get into
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00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:58,700
same pair of pants.
40
00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:01,400
Speaking of pants, 823.
41
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:05,820
Phil and I met in high school. It's a
classic American love story. Boy meets
42
00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:09,220
girl. Girl's kind of stoned. Boy has
nachos.
43
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,760
Eric has taken me to the symphony this
weekend.
44
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,520
Yeah, it should be fun. My law firm has
a box there.
45
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:17,740
That's fantastic.
46
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:18,900
Oh, you like the symphony?
47
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,060
No, I thought that was my steak coming.
48
00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:26,420
Well, before dinner does come, I better
hit the little boy's room. I'll be right
49
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:27,420
back.
50
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,420
Isn't he great? He's adorable.
51
00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:31,060
Oh, yeah, yummy.
52
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:36,120
Although he did call the men's room the
little boy's room, so don't get your
53
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,500
hopes up in the down there department,
if you know what I'm saying.
54
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,700
Why did Bill have to come?
55
00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:41,970
Yeah, that's what I said.
56
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,370
Time to get a beer.
57
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:46,050
Not fast enough.
58
00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:52,310
Eric?
59
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:55,710
Oh, hey, Bill. I was on my way to the
bathroom and I got sucked in.
60
00:02:56,570 --> 00:02:59,330
John Mellencamp, behind the music. I
love this one.
61
00:02:59,770 --> 00:03:01,510
Yeah, I'm a huge Mellencamp fan.
62
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:06,150
Really? I remember seeing him in concert
at U of I in 86.
63
00:03:06,990 --> 00:03:09,970
The opening act was a young man named
George Thurgood.
64
00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:14,670
I went to that concert. I was there. You
went to U of I?
65
00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:18,210
Yeah, I was there from 86 to about three
weeks later in 86.
66
00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:21,090
Good times.
67
00:03:21,730 --> 00:03:23,250
I just love going to that school.
68
00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:25,710
Did you ever go to that bar that was
done on 3rd? Yes.
69
00:03:26,390 --> 00:03:28,790
Remember the waitress that worked there
that always wore the... Yeah.
70
00:03:29,070 --> 00:03:30,810
Well, you know, she and I, we... No.
71
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:33,590
Yes. Oh, you're my hero.
72
00:03:33,950 --> 00:03:36,450
I tell you, Bill, I gotta be honest with
you. I was not too thrilled about
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00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:39,570
meeting another girlfriend's family, but
you're all right. You're not too bad
74
00:03:39,570 --> 00:03:40,570
yourself.
75
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,380
We should get back to the table. Wait,
wait.
76
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:43,980
Mellencamp's about to have his heart
attack.
77
00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:45,380
So yummy.
78
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:46,700
Yeah, it really makes you think.
79
00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:48,200
You really got to watch yourself.
80
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:52,620
Oh, I hear butter sizzling. Mom, that's
our steaks. Race you to the big one.
81
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,640
Oh, he's got him in a subatomic
headlock.
82
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,400
Al, that's got to hurt.
83
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,940
Actually, I can tell you from
experience, it does hurt.
84
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:08,340
You were a wrestler?
85
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:09,680
No, just married.
86
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,360
Bill and Eric seem to have hit it off.
87
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:14,580
I know.
88
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,740
It's freaking me out.
89
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,959
No offense to Bill, it's just, you know,
Eric is such a classy guy, and I'm
90
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,600
worried Bill's gonna try and teach him
how to burp the alphabet.
91
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:25,860
Oh, come on, give him some credit. He's
not that bad.
92
00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:27,700
Judy, do we have any hot dogs?
93
00:04:27,980 --> 00:04:30,100
Eric's never eaten one straight from the
package before.
94
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:33,780
See what he's doing there?
95
00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:35,200
Now you don't have to call.
96
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,260
Bill, they opened up this new barbecue
place in my neighborhood.
97
00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:42,180
You and me should go sometime.
98
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,580
Wow, guy's night out.
99
00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:45,820
It's been a while.
100
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:49,360
All my friends are married or have kids
or I don't like them.
101
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,200
Well, we're friends, aren't we?
102
00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:55,160
Yeah, I guess we are. Yeah, I've been
seeing a lot of each other.
103
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,460
We like the same music, same sport.
104
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,940
Crying out loud, we even finish each
other's... Sentences?
105
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,160
Beer.
106
00:05:06,270 --> 00:05:07,930
Yeah, but you know what sucks about
that?
107
00:05:08,270 --> 00:05:09,290
Now we're out of beer.
108
00:05:09,550 --> 00:05:12,690
Maybe it's just as well it'll give me
some more time to spend with my kids.
109
00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:14,290
Brian! What?
110
00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,630
Come down here. I want to talk to you.
111
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:19,870
Really?
112
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:21,170
Yeah, how you doing?
113
00:05:22,070 --> 00:05:23,070
Give me a beer.
114
00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:28,110
Wow, Bill, that's not very nice.
115
00:05:28,390 --> 00:05:30,150
No, no, hold on, Brian. Eric's right.
116
00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:32,830
Grab him one, too.
117
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,920
When he brings the beers, don't open
them right away. He usually shakes them
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00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:39,920
first.
119
00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:45,580
You guys going out with Eric and Aunt
Linda again?
120
00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:49,140
Yep. And they're leaving me in charge to
make sure your homework is done.
121
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,440
Okay. But if I get done early, do you
think you could teach me how to play
122
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:53,440
chess?
123
00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,140
Really?
124
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:56,540
That'd be great, Lauren.
125
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,040
As if.
126
00:05:58,300 --> 00:05:59,300
Checkmate, loser.
127
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:01,420
Funny, Lauren.
128
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,100
You're going to need that sense of humor
when you're serving cocktails at an
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00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,100
Indian casino.
130
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:09,280
Hey, I'm sure wherever your sister winds
up serving cocktails, it'll be class.
131
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:14,080
Is Eric here? I thought I heard him. No,
they're not here yet.
132
00:06:14,820 --> 00:06:16,100
Why are you wearing that sweatshirt?
133
00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:17,800
That's where I went to college.
134
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,380
You went there for three weeks.
135
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,180
Yeah, but I lived in the dorm for six
months.
136
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:28,600
Besides, Eric went to U of I, too. I
thought he'd get a kick out of it.
137
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,540
Are you wearing an aftershave?
138
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:36,220
Well, when I shave, I put on aftershave.
You shaved at 6 o 'clock at night.
139
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:37,460
Why is that so unusual?
140
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:39,800
You didn't shave on our wedding day.
141
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,340
In all fairness, neither did you.
142
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:48,960
Oh, this is so cute. You're getting all
dolled up for your new best friend,
143
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000
Eric.
144
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:51,300
Excuse me.
145
00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:55,140
Aren't you the one who told me how
important family was supposed to be?
146
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,580
Well, one day I hope to welcome Eric
into this family.
147
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,020
I'm not so sure you should be our
greeter.
148
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:04,380
Well, I just had the worst day of my
life. Where's the booze?
149
00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:06,380
Oh, what's going on?
150
00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:08,120
I broke up with Eric.
151
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,400
What?
152
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:11,960
Uh, what?
153
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:16,200
The bastard cheated on me. Oh, my God.
What happened?
154
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,040
Well,
155
00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:22,140
um, I went over there to give him a
little surprise, and, uh...
156
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,140
I can't believe this guy did this to
you.
157
00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:30,540
Now, now, now, wait a minute. Before we
jump to conclusions, maybe there was a
158
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:31,720
perfectly good explanation.
159
00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:34,100
For the woman in the shower with him?
160
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,720
Maybe he didn't know she was in there.
161
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:40,700
Shut up!
162
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,040
Honey, I'm sorry.
163
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,340
I know, I am too.
164
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:48,020
I just really thought this guy might be
the one, you know? Me too.
165
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:53,340
You did, but there'll be others, plenty
of others, right, Bill? Not like him.
166
00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:59,830
Yeah, yeah, plenty of others. Lots of
fish in the sea.
167
00:08:01,010 --> 00:08:02,090
Couldn't you just not?
168
00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:07,730
All right, come on. We'll make a picture
of Margarita, do our nails, and we'll
169
00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:10,630
throw darts at the picture of the guy
who dumped you, just like we always do.
170
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,830
Do you have to make it sound so routine?
171
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:17,230
Oh, I'm sorry, honey, but it is what it
is.
172
00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:20,030
I'm going to go change.
173
00:08:20,850 --> 00:08:23,510
I've got something underneath this
outfit that's very uncomfortable.
174
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:29,700
Boy,
175
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,880
that Eric is real jackass. I can't
believe he did that.
176
00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:37,640
He's really going to hear it from me
when we go bowling this weekend.
177
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:42,179
Is your bed totally empty, or is there,
like, fruit punch in there?
178
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,760
What? You can't go bowling with Eric.
179
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:49,580
Remember what we said about family?
Well, he just screwed over a member of
180
00:08:49,580 --> 00:08:51,280
family. You can never talk to him again.
181
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,100
But he's my friend.
182
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,360
Well, you're going to have to find
another friend.
183
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,600
I don't want to find another friend. I
like Eric.
184
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:00,940
Well, too bad.
185
00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:03,420
Oh, come on, Judy. That's not fair.
186
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:07,520
First you made me be friends with him.
Now you say I can't? I can do what I
187
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,960
want. I'm going to call Eric right now.
188
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,000
All right. You know what, Bill? Fine. If
you want to call Eric, call Eric.
189
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:13,720
Really? Yeah.
190
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:18,460
He hurt my sister really, really bad. My
baby sister who I've taken care of my
191
00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:19,379
whole life.
192
00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:21,220
But if you want to call him, go ahead.
193
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:22,460
There's the phone.
194
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,420
If you can get to that phone.
195
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,160
You could call him.
196
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:39,400
I hate it when you do that one.
197
00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:47,180
Watching wrestling?
198
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:48,380
Yeah.
199
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,780
Are you okay, Bill? You haven't moved
all day.
200
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:53,520
My move?
201
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:55,500
Couch is my only friend.
202
00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,280
Well, I know a toilet upstairs that's
going to be very jealous.
203
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,700
Hello.
204
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,100
Eric.
205
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,300
What the hell are you doing calling
here?
206
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,120
Yeah, yeah, you screwed up. You screwed
up big time.
207
00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:16,860
I shouldn't even be talking to you.
208
00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:19,800
So how you doing?
209
00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:24,470
Yeah, I saw cops last night.
210
00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:27,630
That guy did not look like me.
211
00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:32,090
All right, maybe a little.
212
00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:37,190
No, no, no, no. I'm pretty happy with
the long -distance service I have right
213
00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:38,190
now.
214
00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:39,890
Sorry, Judy was in the room.
215
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:41,250
Look, I gotta go.
216
00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:43,010
What?
217
00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:44,930
Springsteen concert?
218
00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:46,870
No, I can't.
219
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:49,310
Luxury box?
220
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,510
No, no, there's no way.
221
00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:53,890
Because family.
222
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:56,870
Something about family.
223
00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:00,730
Backstage passes.
224
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:03,030
Oh, man, you're killing me.
225
00:11:03,390 --> 00:11:07,590
Well, how can I say no to that many free
weekend minutes?
226
00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:12,770
Okay, right. I'll meet you in the
parking lot. Not a lot of minutes.
227
00:11:12,770 --> 00:11:13,770
lot of minutes.
228
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,020
Man, that was pretty good barbecue, huh?
Pretty good.
229
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,540
If those ribs were sex, I'd be asleep
right now.
230
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:23,920
Want to grab a beer?
231
00:11:24,260 --> 00:11:25,540
Nah, I gotta be home for dinner.
232
00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:27,620
You're gonna eat dinner now.
233
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,520
Hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta
do to be with another man.
234
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:36,140
So, you, uh, want me to drop you a
dinner to block again?
235
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,360
That'd be great.
236
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,280
I just hate having to sneak around like
this.
237
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,520
Is Judy ever going to cool off enough
for us to hang out again? I mean, it's
238
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:47,220
been two weeks. I don't know. You did
cheat on her sister. I know. I'm an
239
00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:48,940
I didn't mean to do it.
240
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:51,840
It's just that my ex -girlfriend shows
up, right?
241
00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:54,860
She's not wearing anything on under her
coat.
242
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:58,260
Next thing I know, I'm in the shower
with her. What are you going to do?
243
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:01,200
Wake up from my dream and try and get
some from Judy.
244
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,980
All right, well, here we are.
245
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:10,190
Oh, by the way, that Hawks -Red Wings
game we were going to go to tomorrow
246
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,710
night, I can't make it. I got a work
claim.
247
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:15,010
Oh, man, I really wanted to go to that
game.
248
00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:19,670
I think I'm looking at an all -nighter,
so... See, that's why I work at a
249
00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:21,710
department store. No all -nighters.
250
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,190
Well, except that one time I got locked
in.
251
00:12:24,990 --> 00:12:28,450
It wasn't a bad night. I slept on a
waterbed and wore a tuxedo.
252
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,560
Hey, look who's home for a change. I
thought you had inventory every night
253
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:38,560
two weeks.
254
00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:43,420
Oh, yeah. Well, we were counting and
counting and counting.
255
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,340
And then we decided to just call it a
buttload and go home.
256
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:51,160
There's a hockey game on. Who's playing?
257
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,240
Hawks -Red Wings. Big game.
258
00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:56,240
The kind of game you'd really love to be
at. But what are you going to do?
259
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,920
I told Linda I'd go with her to her
stupid pottery class.
260
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,380
Well, maybe I won't watch it now. Maybe
I'll tape it and we can watch it
261
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:04,380
together later.
262
00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:10,490
If I hadn't already slept with you like
a gazillion times.
263
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:15,650
Maybe you could make a little TV out of
clay and watch that.
264
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:20,890
Oh, what a check. Welcome to Chicago,
chum.
265
00:13:21,730 --> 00:13:23,430
Tick -tock, clay's getting dry.
266
00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:27,590
Call her after first period and make
something up about the kids.
267
00:13:28,170 --> 00:13:29,170
That's why we had them.
268
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:32,110
Want a beer?
269
00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:33,870
Yeah. Get me one, too.
270
00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:37,090
Brian, can we talk?
271
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,480
Guess I should throw in an actual talk
every once in a while just to throw him
272
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:46,480
off.
273
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:47,760
Hey, there's Eric.
274
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,760
Where? Right there. He's at the game.
275
00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:53,780
Behind those two guys checking each
other into the boards.
276
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:55,420
That can't be him.
277
00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:01,040
Who the hell's that guy with him?
278
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,940
I don't know. Who cares? I do. I care.
279
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,700
Why? I just want to know what sort of
person would hang out with a cheater. A
280
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,700
damn cheater.
281
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,640
I'm a good guy, right?
282
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:33,840
Dad, before you go any further, if you
and Mom are breaking up, I'm going with
283
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:34,840
her.
284
00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:40,160
No, no, no. What I mean is, if you were
my age, we'd probably be friends, right?
285
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,200
Hang out and stuff.
286
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,680
Fine with me, but after a long, hard day
at work, would you really want to hang
287
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:45,680
out with your boss?
288
00:14:46,820 --> 00:14:47,820
Yeah, that's a good one.
289
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,020
How's the shaving coming?
290
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,180
I'm just kidding.
291
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:53,440
Seriously.
292
00:14:56,750 --> 00:15:01,490
If we were friends, you wouldn't blow me
off, right? Make other plans behind my
293
00:15:01,490 --> 00:15:02,930
back. I don't know.
294
00:15:03,430 --> 00:15:05,150
It's kind of a hypothetical situation.
295
00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:06,950
It is not.
296
00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:11,970
It means a made -up situation?
297
00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:15,570
I know that. I'm a grown man.
298
00:15:17,390 --> 00:15:18,890
Penis still cracks me up.
299
00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:24,270
Dad, you've been moping around here for
two days. What's going on?
300
00:15:24,470 --> 00:15:28,440
Nothing. I just want to hang out, have
some guy fun with my guy.
301
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:29,920
Ow!
302
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,440
Sorry, sorry. Maybe I should just go.
303
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:33,840
No.
304
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,020
If you want to hang out, that's cool.
Great.
305
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,340
So what are we up to?
306
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,460
I'm in the middle of an online chat.
307
00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:42,040
Ooh, what's the hot topic?
308
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,060
Symmetries and geometrical coordinates.
309
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:45,920
Ah.
310
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:50,520
See, here's the tangent, and here's the
x -coordinate.
311
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,800
Uh -huh. And this number represents the
slope. Uh -huh, uh -huh.
312
00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:56,150
I think we were looking for cosine.
313
00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:57,650
Uh -huh, uh -huh.
314
00:15:58,370 --> 00:16:01,030
You're trying to think of a way to
leave, aren't you, Dad? Uh -huh, uh
315
00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:06,310
Hey, Bill.
316
00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:07,950
Oh, good, Linda's here.
317
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:10,630
And she has a surprise for you.
318
00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:12,890
She's leaving? That's so sweet.
319
00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:15,210
Hey, Bill.
320
00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:17,030
What's he doing here?
321
00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:22,770
Eric and I had a very long discussion
yesterday, and Eric realized that he
322
00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:24,470
a terrible mistake, and...
323
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,380
He's willing to fully commit to making
our relationship work.
324
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:29,300
Pee -yew.
325
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:30,640
What a load of crap.
326
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:37,760
Bill? I'm sorry, but this guy is a
cheater. Once a cheater, always a
327
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,200
You are a cheater, mister.
328
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,820
Isn't that right, cheater?
329
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:42,600
Please stop saying cheater.
330
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:47,780
Bill, we need to support Linda's
decision. Besides, I thought you liked
331
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,760
I'm sorry, Judy, but I can't just stand
by and watch Linda get my heart broken
332
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,760
again.
333
00:16:54,920 --> 00:17:00,140
Did you just say my heart? No, I didn't
say my heart. He broke Linda's heart by
334
00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:01,600
sneaking around with that other guy.
335
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,720
You mean other woman.
336
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:06,980
Oh, you picked a hell of a day to start
listening to me.
337
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,579
What was that all about? I saw you.
What?
338
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,359
I saw you at the game with that other
guy.
339
00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:20,700
Next time, if you want to be a liar and
a cheat, don't get such good seats.
340
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:25,700
Bill? There was a perfectly good
explanation. Oh, is there, Mr. All
341
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:30,140
I wanted to go to that game, and you
knew it. Hey, hey, hey, look, I am
342
00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:31,140
sorry, all right?
343
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:33,800
It was a good friend, and he was in from
out of town. Oh, really?
344
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,340
What was he wearing under his coat?
345
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,980
Let me tell you something. I deserve
better than this.
346
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,760
I stuck around with you behind my wife's
back for two weeks.
347
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,260
What? What?
348
00:17:50,410 --> 00:17:52,050
Snuck around with him behind my back?
349
00:17:52,910 --> 00:17:56,010
To plan that surprise party for you.
350
00:17:56,450 --> 00:18:00,990
And this is the, uh... Oh, I got
nothing.
351
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:05,110
I can't believe you, Bill.
352
00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:07,990
Oh, but they're back together now, so
everybody's okay.
353
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:12,190
No, everybody isn't. Your family
obviously means nothing to you.
354
00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:16,750
Oh, I get it. You were supposed to go to
that hockey game with Eric. That's why
355
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,950
you got so upset when we were watching
last night.
356
00:18:19,210 --> 00:18:20,210
What? What?
357
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,600
You were supposed to go to my pottery
class with me.
358
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:25,960
What?
359
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:32,060
You said you couldn't go because you had
to go to Lauren's dance recital.
360
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:33,340
What?
361
00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:39,640
Lauren, honey, remember your dance
recital last night and how I was there,
362
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:45,600
then it started to rain and they told us
all to go home and watch hockey?
363
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,160
Oh, yeah.
364
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,860
Like you would lie for me.
365
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,960
I'm so sorry, Linda, but I love hockey.
366
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,180
And come on, pottery class.
367
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,220
I can't believe you lied to me.
368
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,380
I can't believe you lied to me.
369
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,620
Want to see what's on TV?
370
00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:12,820
Sure.
371
00:19:19,150 --> 00:19:20,150
I'll see you tomorrow night.
372
00:19:20,970 --> 00:19:21,970
Crap.
373
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,169
What's the matter?
374
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:28,350
I have to go with Linda to some stupid
French pastry class every Thursday for
375
00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:29,350
the next six weeks.
376
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:33,730
Well, you know, she is your sister. It's
important that you support her. We
377
00:19:33,730 --> 00:19:36,330
don't get to bring any of the pastries
home. Well, then that blows.
378
00:19:39,590 --> 00:19:42,910
Serves me right for lying. There's
nothing but trouble down that road,
379
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:45,150
especially with families. Don't I know
it.
380
00:19:46,090 --> 00:19:47,130
Hey, quick question.
381
00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:50,890
I started checking out some college
catalogs. You guys are putting away
382
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,710
for my college fund, right? Yeah, of
course.
383
00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:54,390
Every week? Great, thanks a lot.
384
00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:58,470
Okay, that does it. That is our absolute
last lie.
385
00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:16,570
I wouldn't have it any other way, cause
you make me...
30529
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