All language subtitles for still_standing_s01e06_cheering

Oh, another exciting math -a -thon.

I wish someone would do the math on how
many years that took off my life.

Come on, you should be proud.

Your son just won.

He won?

Well, yeah. Why'd you leap up and cheer?

I was just so happy it was over.

I'm so proud of you, honey. Yeah, good
job, son.

So what happens now? You go to the
locker room and ice your brain?

This is a beautiful trophy.

Yeah, what is that? It's the symbol for
pie.

You know what pie is, right?

Yeah. It's a delicious dessert sometimes
served a la mode.

You know what a la mode is, Brian?

You're hungry, aren't you, Bill?

I could eat.

I'm going to be right back. I'm going to
go talk to one of the judges. I lost

points on a conclusion that I think I
can defend.

All right, Judy, be honest.

Which of these eggheads is Brian's real
father?

Buck teeth, bow tie?

I made him use his inhaler three times
that night.

Let's get out of here before people
start to talk to us.

Maybe for once we should mingle with the
other parents. They're no different

than us.

Hey, my T -shirt's on backwards.

On second thought, maybe we should get
going.

Hey, Mr. Miller, Coach Hollinger.

Hey, my dad was your football coach when
I was a little kid.

Boy, they say old age creeps up on you,
but it just hit you on the head like a

brick.

I remember you, little Teddy Harlinger.
You were so cute. I taught you the F

word.

Couldn't be a coach without it.

Hey, listen, when are you going to let
Brian go out for the football team?

What the F are you talking about?

I saw him in gym class. He's got quite a
leg. He could be a good place kicker.

Really? The football team? I don't think
Brian's the type of... Woman, please,

the smart man is talking.

So you want Brian on the team?

Well, I'm not saying he'd be first
string, but we could use him on the

Now, you're talking about Brian Miller,
this kid, right? The one getting beat up

by his sister?

Yeah. Tell him to think it over.

Okay, Bill, don't go crazy.

We don't even know if Brian wants to do
it. Judy, I can't hear you over the

chorus of angels singing in my head.

Stay calm.

Great news.

The judge gave me credit.

Turns out my polynomials were inverted.

Well, they're about to drop, son,
because you're playing football.

It's about

time you guys got home.

It took me forever to get Tina to go to
sleep.

I know, we've been circling the block
waiting for the bedroom light to go out.

I'm gonna go email my biology study
group and tell them that I won. Hey,

forget to tell them about football.

I told you, Dad, I have to think about
that. I know.

Oh, and hey, I love you, son.

I know, Dad, you told me six times
tonight.

Get out of here, you crazy kid, before I
make it seven.

Ah, what the hell, I love you.

What about me?

I'm sorry, honey.

Lauren loves you too, Brian.

Your brother's going out for the
football team.

Cool. After he gets flattened, he can be
our new doormat.

He is not going to be flattened. We're
not even sure he's playing football.

What are you talking about?

He could get hurt.

I never got hurt when I played.

Yeah, well, look at you. You got bigger
bones than the thick candy coating.

The kid needs exercise. He's always
cooped up in his room, studying. It's

we're raising veal.

No, it's not. If he were veal, you would
have breaded and fried him by now.

I had some of the best years of my life
playing high school football.

I learned things there that I still use
today. Things like sportsmanship,

teamwork, learning to respect your
fellow player.

Didn't you get one of the guys drunk and
shave his head?

No, three of us did it. That's teamwork.

Besides, this is a chance for one of our
kids to be an athlete.

Lauren played soccer for four years.

Yeah, yeah, and Tina rides a tricycle
real fast.

We're talking about football. My son on
the field of glory.

I just don't want you to become one of
those crazy fathers who push their kids

into things.

Hey, it's a father's duty to toughen up
his son.

When I was a kid, my dad made me fight a
dog just for a bet.

I asked your father about that. He
swears it never happened.

Oh, yeah?

Did you ask him how he got that ping
-pong table?

Just let Brian make his own decision.

Fine. Where are you going?

I'm going to make sure he gets all the
facts. You know, the pros and cons, so

can make an informed decision.

Pros and cons, you promise?

Scouts honor.

You were never a scout.

The scouts are losers and football
players rule.

Hey, sport.

I know, Dad. You love me.

You bet I do, son.

So how come you never told me the coach
asked you to be on the team?

Well, I figured between math leads,
junior achievement, and debate club, I

really didn't have the time for
football.

You never told me you were on the debate
team. Yes, I did. No, you didn't. Yes,

I did. Oh, you're good.

Now, I may not know about debate or
understand most of what you say, but I

care about you.

Thanks, Dad.

Son, son, son, son.

Let me tell you a little story about a
secret land.

An enchanted place where the Golden Boys
wear magical jackets.

That land is high school, and that
jacket is a varsity football jacket.

If you wear that magical jacket, it'll
open doors for you. What kind of doors?

Well, let's just say some of those doors
hook in front, some in back.

Okay, I'm with you now, but shouldn't
girls like me for who I am?

Brains and a sense of humor.

Dad, you heard the coach. I'd only be
third string in football.

I'm the star of the math team. And
that's great, son.

But you know how at your math farms
there's always those really hot girls

cheering you on?

Dad, there aren't any cheerleaders.

Oh.

You're finally doing the kind of math
you can actually use in life.

Okay, I'll give it a shot. All right,
that's my boy.

Okay, come on, hit me, hit me.

I'm a kicker, Dad. Kick me, kick me.

Dad.

Sorry, I'm just a little excited.

Now, you're sure this is your decision
and you made it all by yourself and

be willing to casually work that into a
conversation with your mother?

Yeah, I guess.

Good. Because I'm here to support you in
anything you do.

This is about what you want, son.

Thanks, Dad.

make us come to brian's stupid football
game you never take us to a stupid math

tournament i think you just brought us
to carry your food oh you're also here

case i drop my keys under the bleachers
wow looks like brian's been talking to

the coach for a long time yeah he's
showing him how to set his digital watch

yeah check out number 43 he is so cute
43 24

81 they're all the same

You remember their number, but they
never remember yours.

Next thing you know, it's prom night,
you get dumped, your mascara's running,

and everybody's laughing at you.

Enjoy high school, honey.

Excuse me, this section is reserved for
football parents.

Well, then we fit right in, because
that's our boy down there, number three.

Oh, well, nice to meet you. I'm Frank
Berenger. Well, the quarterback's

My son lets your son copy off.

And I need to buy you a beer after the
game.

Really? Sure.

Plus, my wife made some pork sandwiches.

Here, help yourself.

Thank you.

You don't need to thank me. You're part
of the club now. Your kid's a football

player.

Bill, butch up. You're starting to cry.

That's because he's 20.

moms, and it's not like you invite me to
everything you go to.

Yes, I do.

Really? That's all you do?

Hey. Hey, Bill. Hey, Carl.

Sorry I'm late. Carl helped me pick up
some supplies on the way home.

Oh, Linda, Linda, Linda.

Man, you're a sight for sore eyes.

Carl, your eyes are sore from the last
woman who pepper sprayed you.

You know, tomorrow...

Bill and I are going to lay some sweet
linoleum.

If you come by, you might just catch me
with my shirt off.

You're so hot.

You're so creepy.

That's a fine line.

See you tomorrow.

Bill, where are you going?

Thought I'd grab Brian and throw a
football around before dinner.

You might want to hold off on that right
now.

Why, is he studying for an exam?

He's studying with the cheerleader.

What? I said he's studying with the
cheerleader.

Oh, I heard you. I just wanted to hear
it again.

Bill, you're not going anywhere near
there.

You know, I'm shocked. You are so
sexist.

If that was our daughter up there with a
boy, you'd want me to check on her,

wouldn't you? Bill. All I'm saying is
there shouldn't be a double standard for

Brian. I want everything equal in this
house because I care about all my

children equally.

Daddy, there's a big black spider in my
room.

Good for you. You have a pet.

Remember how you said you'd be
supportive of anything I wanted to do?

Well, I want to quit football and become
a cheerleader.

Oh, really? Well, uh, that's, uh...
Cheerleader, huh?

Oh, uh... Judy?

Judy?

Will,

are you okay?

You were right. I never should have gone
up there.

I walked in on Brian and that
cheerleader.

You know what they were doing?

Cheering.

Bill, you cheered the first time you
made out with me, too.

No, they were cheering. Rah, rah,
jumping around.

Brian wants to quit football and become
a cheerleader.

Wow, didn't see that one coming.

Oh, you pushed him to go out for
football, and now he wants to be a

Well, look on the bright side, you made
my day.

their minds all the time. We need to
support cheerleading, really.

Take it easy, Cameron.

Okay, I'll see you at tryouts. Remember,
it's hip, step, hip, step, slash,

shake, slash, shake, slash, shake.

Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me.

Dad, I know what you're going to say,
but I tried football and I didn't like

The guys all picked on me. I got news
for you, Brian.

That might not stop when you start
carrying pom -poms.

Well, the girls use pom -poms. The boys
use roundy rags.

Look, Dad, cheerleading is everything
you want from me. I'd be on a team,

getting exercise, making new friends.
And you said it was my choice, right?

Right. His choice. To be a cheerleader.

Good, because there's an opening on the
squad. Charts are in two days. And if I

make it, they're going to use me in the
game this weekend.

Great. That's great.

Good for you.

Thanks, Mom.

So you're really okay with this, Dad?

Yeah, whatever you want is okay with me.

I'm sure you'd make a good cheerleader.
You've always been very bendy.

Thanks, Dad. You're the greatest.

Oh, and if I make it, guess what? I
still get a jacket.

It's actually more of a sweater vest,
but there's a megaphone on it.

I love you, Dad.

I love you, too, son.

So where's that hot sister -in -law of
yours?

What hot sister -in -law?

All I have is one that's shrill and
needy.

So is she seeing anybody?

Yep, I think so. But don't worry,
eventually he'll see her and it'll be

Rebound?

Sweet.

Why don't you go in the kitchen and grab
the tape?

Sure.

Hey, Bill, is it your birthday?

No, why?

There's a bunch of cheerleaders in your
backyard.

Oh, yeah, we're, uh, using them to scare
away the twirl.

That's funny.

How do you explain your son doing
cartwheels across the lawn?

Well, that's really very simple. God
hates me.

Brian quit the football team. Now he
wants to be a cheerleader.

Dude, that's messed up.

Dude, you think?

He does a pretty good cartwheel, though.
That was a girl.

Sorry. This is so messed up.

Yeah, there goes Brian.

That's got to hurt. Hey, all the girls
are helping him up, sweetie.

Okay.

That's my ankle. I landed wrong.

Honey, what happened?

It hurt my ankle. Does it hurt bad?

No, I think I just twigged it. Judy, can
you get some ice?

Come on, Paul.

I sashayed where I should have swiveled.

Put a little scotch on it.

What was I thinking?

The whole thing was a stupid idea.

I'm so glad to hear you say that. But
don't worry, Brian.

Sometimes you have to try something like
cheerleading to realize just how stupid

it is.

I meant having practice in our backyard.
It's just too small.

So did I.

Right, whatever, Dad.

Look, all we need to do is let him cool
down for a while, and when the time is

right, one of us will... I'll go talk to
him now.

You know, sometimes when you hurt your
ankle, you release a hormone thing that

makes you hear things wrong.

Dad, I take college -level science.

You know, sometimes when you take
college -level science, you release a

thing. Dad.

You know what?

I should have been honest, Brian.

I never really liked the idea of you
being a cheerleader. I wanted you to

football.

Well, I tried to like football because I
knew you loved it.

I hated it.

I was no good at it.

The only good thing was that it made you
happy.

It's not that I'm not happy about
mathletes or debate club. I just wanted

have something in common.

Me too, but I guess that's not going to
happen.

You know what we have in common?

We both want to have something in
common. Isn't that funny?

Technically, it's ironic.

Son, this is why you needed football.

That's why.

Brian, be honest.

Do you really want to be a cheerleader?

Yes.

But not exactly for the reasons I said.

Maybe we should get your mother.

No, no, no, no, no.

You know when you're on the football
team and you score a touchdown and all

guys pat each other's butt?

Judy!

What I mean is, when you're a
cheerleader, you get to do that with all

girls, and you get to be right there
when they're jumping up and down, and

really... I don't know how to explain
it, Dad. You don't have to explain it.

didn't you tell me all this in the first
place?

I didn't think you'd understand.

Oh, this I understand.

I don't even know if I'm good enough to
be a cheerleader.

Son, we're gonna get you on that squad.

Didn't have anything in common.

Okay, let's try it again.

People in the front, let me hear you
grunt.

That's not a grunt, that's a growl. Now,
come on, grunt with me.

Bigger, badder.

That's what I want to hear.

Now, let's see the routine again.

People in the front, let me hear you
grunt.

Okay, okay, that's not gonna get your
butt slapped by a cheerleader.

You gotta work it, son.

Don't be afraid to let yourself go.

What, what?

You've got some pretty good moves.
Where'd you learn all this?

Son, I'm about to tell you something
that can never be repeated.

When I was your age, for a very
misguided week, I caught a little virus

disco fever.

Long story short, the hustle may be
gone, but the feet never forget.

And you gave me crap. Just try to keep
up, okay?

Five, six, seven, eight.

People in the front, let me hear you
grunt. People in the back, show us where

it's at. Right here, people in the
stand. Stand and clap your hands. People

the ground, move it all around.

You sure that thing's working?

Oh, yeah.

This is gonna come in handy.

Okay, here's the deal. You get the tape
when he's really mean to you, and I get

it when I'm wrong, but don't want to
admit it.

The show is where it's at right here.
People in the stands, stand a clappy

People on the ground, move it all
around.

Hey, Miller, I don't see your boy out
there.

Yeah, he's not playing today.

Did he get injured?

Yes, he did get injured.

I'm so sorry.

Well, you shouldn't be. It was his
decision, and I'm proud of him.

That's right, honey.

It could be worse. He could be on the
math team.

He is.

Debate team?

Yep.

Chess club?

Uh -huh.

Latin club?

No. Ha! In your face!

Hey, that cute cheerleader just smacked
Brian on the butt. Stop!

I wouldn't have it any other way.