All language subtitles for Still Standing s03e13 Advising

Brian, what's the matter? You've been
staring at that book for over an hour.

I don't want to talk about it.

He has a crush on a girl at school.

Shut up.

Her name is Terry Tyler, and she doesn't
know he's alive.

Tina, that's the last time I open up to
you about anything.

Good.

Aw, Bri, Bri, I know you're hurting now,
but... I know, I know. No matter what

that girl thinks, I'll always be your
handsome prince.

I was going to say, buck up.

My prince? That's creepy, Brian. I'm
your mom.

You know, if you want to catch a girl's
eye, you might consider investing in

some hair gel.

You really think hair gel will get
Carrie's attention?

Well, it couldn't hurt.

Unless you want to stay with this whole
Reagan look.

You know, you actually have a lot of
potential.

With a little bit of work, you could
actually be a... a pretty good -looking

guy.

Wow, I kept it down.

Oh, thanks.

You know what? I could show you. We
could do a whole different look. Really?

You'd do that for me?

Yeah. I mean, it'd be a challenge. Like
climbing that dumb mountain you're

always talking about.

Everest. Yeah, except this is real.

Lauren, Mount Everest is real.

Uh -huh, and so is Middle Earth.

Thanks, Lauren. I don't know what to
say. This is going to be great.

Oh, hey, Dad. Say goodbye to the Brian
Miller you've always known. Bye.

Aren't you going to ask me why?

Is it because you're nerdy and girls
don't like you?

No.

Yeah.

Great

news,

Judy. You got the car fixed?

Nope, won't be ready for another week.
We are the proud owners of this.

A tow truck and a Mexican guy?

Oh, the sweet, sweet ride he's towing.
What did you do?

I got us a muscle car, baby.

I've always wanted to fix up one of
these, and now I'm gonna.

Really? Name one thing that you wanted
to fix and actually fixed.

Name one thing I said I was gonna fix
and didn't.

This lamp.

This drill.

This table, and that's just what I can
see. Do you want me to turn around and

continue? No, these, these are chores.

This is my dream.

Oh, you drive this car in your dream.

That explains all the backfiring I hear
every night.

Hey! Hello, sister of my lover.

Harry! Well, see you later, honey. Have
fun working on your video.

Your Foghat cover band's making a video?
Oh, actually, Perry's decided to make a

video of one of his original songs.

Yeah, it's going to rock.

It starts with me on the Great Wall of
China, yeah? I'm singing into this

mirror, and then my mirror image steps
out of the mirror, starts singing backup

vocals, yeah?

Then the mirror shatters. Tiny versions
of me come flying out. Hello, hello,

hello, hello.

A message.

All peoples of the world can coexist in
peace.

It gives you chills, doesn't it? Makes
me shudder.

I'll see you later, TK.

Bye. Bye.

Wow.

Music video.

Sounds expensive.

I know, but Perry says the pressure of
having some of our money on the line

force him to write a really great song.

Wait, he hasn't even written the song
yet?

It's his process, Judy.

He says he does his best work when his
back's against the wall.

Could that be a padded wall?

Judy, this is his dream.

I understand, but should he be throwing
away your money when you're trying to

save for a wedding?

I don't know. Maybe you're right. Of
course I am. I mean, if this guy's going

be your husband, you have to set him
straight. I mean, guys are not that

Judy, I think you've stripped the
socket.

Righty -tighty, Bill.

Oh, it changed it.

Said the guy who was going to rebuild a
car.

Oh, that reminds me, Linda. Bill's car's
in the shop. Can you give him a ride to

work this week?

Depends. I mean, does he have to ride in
the car with me, or can I strap him to

the hood like a dead deer?

She's right. Not even a dead deer would
want to ride with her.

Fine, you two don't want to carpool. You
can go back to doing your laundry at a

laundromat and you can walk to work.

Fine, maybe we will.

Yeah, you're not the boss of us.

Stupid Judy.

Thinks she's the boss of us.

She thinks she's so smart.

I could walk to work if I wanted to.

You want to?

Stupid Judy.

Yeah, she's kind of a pain, but, you
know, she did give me some pretty good

advice the other day.

What's that?

Well, Perry wants to do this music
video, but Judy says I should just tell

no. I know it's his dream, but... Whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. You're

telling Perry not to follow his dreams
because of something Judy said?

Let me tell you something about Judy.
She's a dream squatter.

Check the bottoms of her shoes.

Covered in my dreams.

So you think I should let him do it?

Listen, guys need encouragement.

You think Mrs. Columbus ever said to
Christopher, don't discover the new

We're fine with the spices we have.

Say no to this and Terry might hold it
against you forever.

You know what? I think you're right. I'm
going to just tell him to go for it.

Thank you, Bill. You're welcome.

You know, I know we have our differences
and we give each other a lot of guff,

but the truth is I'm proud to have you
as... Oh, there's somebody I know. Drive

fast. Drive fast.

Where's Bill? You did remember to bring
him home, right?

Yeah, he'll be right in. He just got
distracted by something on the way from

car. Want a beer? No, no, I can't stay.
Perry wants me to look at the

storyboards for his video.

Oh, I thought you were going to tell him
that was a bad idea.

Yeah, actually, um, I decided I would
tell Perry I'm behind him 100%. What?

Why? Well, I got a second opinion.

What kind of idiot would tell you to do
that?

Here.

I just traded scarves with a neighbor's
snowman.

I think it's cashmere.

You've got to be kidding me. Look, his
advice worked. As soon as I told Perry I

supported his dreams, he stayed up all
night and wrote a song. He's even got a

manager interested in him.

Really? That's right, Judy.

Despite your best efforts to squash his
dreams, the man rose to the occasion.

Turns out you're not always right.

How does it feel?

So that's what this is all about. You're
still sore at me for not letting you

buy that stupid car, so you're giving my
sister bad advice?

Okay, Judy, you probably shouldn't be so
tough on Bill. He's rather insightful

when it comes to the male psyche.

Hear that, Judy?

Insightful.

Fully in sight.

And you're going to listen to him? Why
shouldn't you? You know, you've had 38

years to fix this poor woman's life, and
look at her. She's a mess.

No offense.

None taken, you're right.

Oh, so now I'm the cause of everything
that's gone wrong in Linda's life? All

I'm saying is maybe you should have a
little more faith in me, that I can fix

old, rusted -out shell of a thing, be it
a muscle car or a sister.

Once again, no offense.

No, but getting closer.

Okay, you know what? You want to listen
to him? You want to give her advice?

Go ahead, knock yourselves out. I'm sure
it'll work out great. Well, I just want

to say thank you.

Both for me and this poor, pathetic,
barely -functioning disaster. Offense!

Offense!

I think I cleaned your sideburns up
pretty good. Have a look. Oh, great.

Hey, uh, do my eyebrows look a little
uneven to you?

I don't know, maybe a little, but, you
know, a girl would have to be really

close to notice.

Well, that's the goal here. You get her
close. I'll take it from there.

You're gonna have to hold really still,
okay?

Oh, wait, wait. Hold on.

I can feel a sneeze coming up.

Okay, Pat.

Okay, good.

This is very delicate. You just can't go
sneezing right in the middle of it,

okay?

That was funny. I thought I was going to
sneeze.

Then you sneezed.

What? Everything all right?

Yeah, yeah.

It's great.

Yeah, you're good to go. Watch out,
Carrie. Here comes Johnny Depp.

Excuse me.

Why? Uh, because I need to talk to her.
Thanks to you, my life is falling apart.

You screwed up everything, Bill!

Wait, wait, wait.

What could have possibly happened that's
so bad you'd consider crawling back to

Judy? Perry wants to postpone the
wedding and risk our entire savings on

pursuing some stupid pipe dream of
becoming a rock star.

Okay, okay. I can handle it. Just, just
let me think.

Maybe I should get some coffee.

I'm going to need some cream.

You know what?

Too much cream. I'm going to need some
more.

I've got nothing!

Help! Oh, good. Okay, I'm going to talk
to Judy. No, no, wait. You can't. Why?

If you remember, yesterday we made some
pretty big talk.

And if you go back to her now, she'll
make you eat those words. I hardly think

Judy is going to be that unforgiving.
Hey, geniuses, everything falling apart

yet?

What's that supposed to mean?

Come on.

Bill, trying to fix your life?

That's porn.

Stupid gas on crazy fire.

I don't think we're as helpless as you
make us out to be.

Okay. Good luck, then. I'll be watching
from the sidelines far enough away so I

don't get spattered by anything that may
or may not hit the fan.

Who am I kidding? I don't have to worry
because you never fix the fan.

Okay, Bill, you got one day.

That's more than enough time. I know I
can find a solution.

I'm a problem solver. That's who I am,
the guy who solves problems.

Dad, you gotta help me. Lauren shaved
half my eyebrow.

Man, you are screwed.

Take a look.

Well, Lauren, I think you might have
found the answer.

Yeah? Yeah, to the question, what looks
dumber than having half an eyebrow?

I told you I could make you a new
eyebrow. No, no, okay, we're not gluing

on, we're not painting one on, and I'm
not going to wear a stupid bandana or an

eye patch.

Hey, what about these?

Grandma's cataract glasses?

They're worth a try.

Look, I've got to tell you, they don't
look that bad.

Really? Yeah.

Hi, Mom.

Comfortable? No.

Mind some company?

Honey, no offense, but I want a little
room for the water.

The tub here.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Take a seat.

Linda left, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

She's a fun kid.

You know, Bill, I know I've been raving
you, Linda, but I'm really happy that

you've taken over solving Linda's
problems. I didn't realize the life it

out of me.

I actually feel like I have more blood.

And I'm loving it too. You know, it's
great to help people.

Man, life is weird.

Weird, weird, weird.

Strange, strange, strange, strange.

Huh? Ah, nothing, nothing.

It's just...

This lady that I work with, she's
engaged to an aspiring artist.

Oh, a painter?

Sculptor. Well, sculptor -painter. He
wants to sculpt things and then

paint them when he's done sculpting.

Okay. Anyway, he's been doing knock
-offs, but he wants to start doing his

stuff, which is great, you know. But
this lady, this friend of mine is...

is a little worried because now he's
decided to postpone the wedding. So what

you think I should tell her?

Hmm. Well, that depends.

In the story, how stupid am I?

You? Judy, you don't even know this
lady. She just transferred... Shut up.

Shut up. Okay.

Harry's thinking about postponing the
wedding.

Well, yeah.

And you're in over your head and you
need my help. No.

Oh, good. Then what are you going to
tell Linda?

I'm going to tell Linda to tell

Perry that he

should... You got nothing.

That's not true. I'm between great
ideas. I need a bridge.

Well, I suppose I could jump into this,
provided you admit that I was right and

you were wrong.

That I rule and you drool. That I'm a
hero and you're a big fat zero. Hold on,

hold on.

You're forgetting something.

Perry Song might be great.

That video might make him a star.

Then old Billy's advice looking pretty
good.

Awful limb read to hang your head on,
Poncho.

Is it? A lot of people said Mozart was
no good when he started out.

Nobody said that. He was a prodigy when
he was like three.

Yeah, well, I'm talking about when he
was like two. Oh, Bill, just admit you

were wrong.

You know what? I got a good feeling
about Perry's song.

I'm going with the old Bill instinct.

You say you want to go for a drive.

The party's started and it's coming
live.

Your mom is hot, your dad is lazy.

You keep on getting, you keep on
getting.

Want to have a ball all night with Perry
every day.

Want to have a ball all night with Perry
every day.

Perry! Yeah, sing along!

Perry, Perry.

This is your new original song?

Yeah, mate.

Uh, doesn't it sound an awful lot like
that kid's song, Rock and Roll All

No.

I know that song. That's an anthem to my
youth. That goes like this. It goes, I

want to rock and roll all night and
party every day.

And this is who wants to have a ball all
night.

Oh, bugger.

Yeah,

yeah, I should have caught that.

Yeah, well.

Did your manager say something?

Ah, well, he hasn't heard it yet. He's
been a little busy.

Got some vacancies in the building he's
trying to rent out.

Hold on. So, when you said you had a
manager, you were talking about your

apartment manager.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm not on a baseball team.

I mean, my agent heard it and he loved
it, though.

Oh, let me guess. Somebody who sold you
insurance?

No, a legitimate agent.

Sends people on vacations all over the
world.

Travel agent. God, look, Perry, maybe
you should rethink this whole video

In what way?

Like, maybe not doing it. What?

You know, you can't have a video if you
don't have a song.

Well, that will take care of itself.
Listen, mate, you may not believe in me,

but Linda does.

But the thing is, she doesn't. She
thinks it's a pipe dream.

Hey, guys.

Do you think my music sucks?

What? That's what Bill just said.

You told him I said that? No, of course
not. He said you think my music is a

pipe dream.

Oh, yeah, I said that.

Why would you tell him I said that? So
you do think it sucks? No, I don't.

Everything under control?

Dude, you've got to help us out here.
She can't help you, Linda. There's only

one reason that I haven't fixed this
situation, and it's this.

It can't be fixed.

Unfixable.

Perry, do you really need to do this
video right now?

Well, not right now.

Well, good. Then take it slow, you know?
Wait for inspiration.

Play small clubs. Try stuff out in front
of people.

Yeah, I can live with that. I mean, the
Great Wall's not going anywhere.

And neither are you.

Okay, do me, do me. Okay, you need to
speak your mind. I know. I was just

thinking. Not right now. Not right now.

If Perry does something that you don't
agree with, you need to tell him. That's

what marriage is all about, guys. Give
and take.

Yeah, you're right.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang
on.

You're just telling her to squash his
dreams.

But it's not that simple, Judy. If you
don't let a guy follow his dreams, he'll

always regret what might have been.

Oh, really?

Like the time you wanted to build that
tree -half casino because you didn't

think it was subject to the laws of the
ground?

That's the stupidest thing I've ever
heard.

Bill, a little advice.

Stay out of the advice business.

And I got some advice for you.

Okay.

I love you, sis. Oh, I love you too,
baby.

Oh, that right there, Judy. That's
inspiration you're talking about. Hold

Here it comes. Here it comes.

Sisters.

Sisters sharing a hug.

And a heart in their world.

Well, no thanks to you, I fixed the mess
you made in my face. I put a band -aid

over my missing eyebrow and just told
everyone at school that I got in a

Did it work?

Yeah, people actually thought I was
tough.

That's great.

Well, I guess I can take this off now. I
wonder if my eyebrow's going back in.

Ow. Ryan, you're doing it wrong.

Just gotta rip it off. Ow.

It's all gone, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

I wouldn't have it any other way Cause
you make me happy