All language subtitles for Still Standing s03e07 Going First

Oh, does your side still hurt you? No,
no, I'm fine.

Why are you taking off your jacket so
slow?

Slow or sexy.

Oh, honey, will you help me get down the
food processor, unless it's going to

hurt you too much?

Please, I laugh in the face of pain.

Okay, I have an appointment with Dr.
Holden on Friday. I'll see if he can fit

you in, too. Okay, honey, if it makes
you feel better, I'll go. But there's

nothing wrong with me.

Daddy's home!

We can take her to the doctor, too.

Oh, he was very thorough.

In fact, I'm pretty sure I cheated on
you.

Sometimes people are misled by my gentle
hand.

As far as your lateral pain, it looks
like it's just probably a pulled muscle.

You're going to have to take it easy for
a few days. Oh, that might be a

problem, Doctor. I don't think he really
could take it any easier.

I'm talking about Bill lying down
whenever he can.

No carrying groceries, no taking out the
trash, no physical exercise.

So am I.

Thank you, Lila.

Okay, cholesterol results.

Miller, Bill.

According to these numbers, you've got
LSOB syndrome.

LSOB? What's that?

A man with your eating habits and
cholesterol this good, it means you won

SOB.

I like that one.

Not you, young lady.

Your cholesterol's through the roof.

What? My cholesterol's higher than his,
but I exercise all the time. And the way

he eats, he's more pizza than husband.

I'm sorry, a lot of it's heredity.

Ha -ha.

Want another prostate exam?

Maybe.

I can't believe you're the one stuck on
a heart -smart diet.

Helps with blows.

Look at this. Soy bacon, soy chips, soy
cheese.

Oh, God, it smells like somebody threw
up feet.

I mean, yum.

Lauren, could you grab me another
medicine from the fridge and bring one

Fitz, too?

Can you make mine an imported medicine?

So, did I tell you that my fiancé has a
new pet name for me?

He calls me Linda Bear.

Is it possible that he just can't
remember your last name?

I'm in love. You can't hurt me.

There's something about Perry that's
been nagging me a bit.

The fact that he talks with a fake
English accent and sings in a Foghat

band?

No. My only worry is that Perry's never
really spent time around kids.

That's a shame, too.

Because kids love Foghat.

Are you done?

I just want him to be comfortable around
children so he's open to the idea of us

having kids.

Three girls, Tiffany, Amber, and Helen.

Two strippers and an old lady.

I wonder if I could borrow one of your
kids so Perry could spend some time with

them. Well, I'll hang out with you guys.
I think his band's pretty cool.

Yeah, I love you, honey, but I was
thinking of Tina. You know, more on the

and cuddly, less on the freaky teenage
problems.

Yeah, I'm the one with the freaky
problems.

And here's your fresh garden salad.

What? Oh, look, he can move. Here's your
burger.

Thank you, son.

I'll be napping later. Come down in an
hour and turn me.

It's a pretty sweet deal, having that
magic blood, mister. Yeah, you know what

you're looking at, Fitz?

The perfect machine.

Don't worry about Judy, though.

That cholesterol's a big health risk.

Probably means she's going to go before
you. Hey, don't talk like that.

Hey, I'm as torn up about this as you
are.

Judy was going to be the first person I
was going to hit on after my wife, Cax.

Don't worry.

In my plan, you're dead, too.

Oh, good. Otherwise, that'd be really
insensitive.

Hey, Fitz. Bill, can you get the food
processor down for me? I have a

You know what? You're full of baloney.
And I mean that literally.

Now get up. You've been milking this for
a week. Well, it was a good run.

So, Judy, I heard the news.

I gotta say, nobody's as sorry as I am.

We would have been great together.

How many bottles of medicine have you
had today, Fitz?

I'm just worried about you and that
cholesterol.

You're a ticking time bomb.

Fitz, I gotta watch what I eat. I'm not
gonna die.

Yeah, that's a brave girl.

Chin up, huh?

Just... We're really sorry for Bill
here, though.

If you go first, that poor bastard will
be helpless.

Without you, he couldn't find his ass
with both hands in an ass map.

I don't think you're giving Bill enough
credit.

Judy, why am I in the kitchen?

Food processor.

It's not here.

Tilt your head up.

I don't see it. Open the cabinet.

They give you a check every week, and
all they get back is a tiny little piece

of your soul.

Suckers.

Bill, sit down.

Hip said something to me yesterday, and
it got me kind of rancid. Oh, don't

worry. I know he's planning to date you,
but by then your looks will be gone and

nobody will want you.

Thanks. Um, but I was talking about if
I, you know...

God forbid, went first, and it was
bugging me all morning. So I came back

after lunch, and I wrote you this.

My darling Bill?

What is this?

Well, in case something should happen to
me, I wanted you to know, you know,

everything about the kids, the house,
where we keep the important papers.

And then, as I was writing, I started to
think about our life together.

And I had so much that I wanted to tell
you if, God forbid...

Well, it's all in here.

Thanks. Good stuff.

Bill?

Uh -huh?

Well, don't you want to say anything to
me about writing that letter?

Nice job.

I was kind of hoping that you'd write me
a letter back. Phil, you're not wearing

a watch, okay?

Come on, this is important to me. Okay,
okay, I'll give it a shot. Thank you.

Hello. Hey.

How did it go with the parent?

Well, so much for telling your mom the
idea of having kids.

Why, what happened?

Ribbit, ribbit.

She's a frog.

And she's been a frog for... two solid
froggin' hours.

Where's Perry?

Well, he was parking the car, but he
might be in the garage looking for wire

cutters so he can give himself a
anatomy.

Oh.

There's my little frog.

Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Perry, you don't have to humor her
anymore. No, Linda Bear has been

spending the day with Tina.

I mean, usually I'm around a kid. I'm
studying her face and praying she don't

look like me. Nudge, nudge.

I know. I was just telling Judy how
adorable she was.

No, you said you hated it. Ribbit,
ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.

Why don't you go on upstairs and play,
sweetie?

We should go. Yeah.

Did you give up on the letter?

Nope, all done.

Wow, only took you like three minutes.

You know, you could take a longer time
if you want to. Mine took all afternoon.

Uh, no, I'm good.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not supposed to
look at those now.

No, I just want to take a peek. You can
look at mine if you want.

Oh, I still got half the jumble.

Dear Judy,

no shovels behind the garage.

Exo, dead bill.

P .F., boo.

No, no, no, it's, uh, boo.

So, that's it?

You're dead, I'm all alone?

and all you have to say is boo.

Honey, movies and Halloween decorations
have taught us that that's all the dead

can say.

So you have nothing to say about the
life we share together. We're just kind

what, hanging out on this couch till one
of us drops. I didn't know I was

supposed to write some big statement
about our life. You just told me to

what I do. I do the shoveling when it
snows. That's all I do.

You know what? I don't know which makes
me sad, or this letter, or the fact that

that's all you do.

Hey, don't forget the work I do in the
boudoir.

Bill, I poured my heart into that letter
so I could console you and leave you

with something that you'd always have.

I wept on the paper, Bill.

Oh, I get it. Weeping. Okay, let me take
another whack at this.

If you write who after the boo?

Then I'm going to find a new place to
put the snow shovel.

Then I'm going to need more time.

Could you not hover?

I'm not hovering.

Bill, it's not hard. Just start with the
things you'll miss about our life

together. Well, I won't miss you
hovering.

I love you.

Hey. Hey.

Gary and I were out shopping and we
picked up Tina something.

Oh, Tina.

We got her a frog.

It's called Little Hat. Frog hat.

Frog hat.

That had not occurred to me. That's
good.

That is good.

Hi, Tina Bear.

I've got someone to meet you. Froggy,
meet my friend Tina Bear. Thanks, fairy.

Did you just call her Tina Bear?

Yeah.

That's funny, because I'm Linda Bear.

That is funny. I'm funny today.

Did you just hear that whole bear thing?

Yeah. Wish I hadn't.

Judy, I was his bear until you -know
-who came along.

Are you seriously competing with the
seven -year -old?

I didn't choose this battle, Judy.

What are you working on, mate?

A letter to Judy for after I'm dead.

That's an awesome title.

Letter to Judy for after I'm dead.

Something, something, shagging hookers
instead.

which so far only has today's date.

Would you like some advice from a
songwriter?

I thought you were in a cover band.

Still got to write the songs down.

Hey, Perry. Hey, Brian.

See, Bill, you should do what I do,
carry a notebook.

That way, when the muse comes knocking,
you can start rocking.

I've been working on my wedding verse.
Have a listen.

Your love is the sunshine that kisses my
cheek.

Your laughter is my music.

And when I lie in your arms, I find rest
from this weary world.

Wow, that's amazing.

See, it's just like writing a song.

You know, I'm a songwriter, too, so
you're preaching to the choir.

Oh, yeah, what sort of stuff do you
write?

Musicals, mostly.

Here we go.

Anyway, I'm really inspired by Sondheim.

Sondheim, I know that bloke.

Really? Yeah, he's that dirtbag backup
drummer for Cheap Trick. Owes me $500.

No, no, no, you don't understand. This
is a completely different guy. Yeah,

whatever you say.

But rehab's not magic, little man.

Linda, remember I told you I was bugging
Bill to write that letter?

Well, he finally did, and it's
beautiful.

Judy. Your love is the sunshine that
kisses my cheek.

Your laughter is my music.

And when I lie in your arms, I find rest
from this weary world.

I didn't think Bill was capable of this.

You know what? I'm not surprised.

I know this side of Bill.

That's why I married him.

Excuse me.

Hey, you beautiful man.

Next time you go warehouse shopping, I
need another big bag of socks.

Anything you want.

I read your letter.

Oh, the letter.

Oh, uh, how did you find that?

You put it on my pillow.

Oh, uh, is it okay?

Oh, it's perfect.

You're perfect. Oh, now, honey, only
God's perfect, but some of us are damn

close.

Listen, Linda's in the kitchen. What do
you say I get rid of her and we discuss

this upstairs?

Oh, you mean naked talking?

Because there's something I'd like to
get off your chest.

Bill's letter is so amazing. Listen to
this imagery.

Your love is the sunshine that kisses my
cheek.

Oh, God.

So, Bill.

Actually, it's Perry.

What? Yeah, that's from Perry's wedding
vows to Aunt Linda. He showed me in Dad

his notebook.

You mean Perry wrote this for me? And
Bill copied it?

Now that is so Bill.

I can't believe he copied Perry's vows.

Well, I mean, not exactly. See how he
changed on this day we are wed to on

day I am dead.

Excuse me.

words he wrote for me.

Perry loved me so much.

I'm not sharing him with children.

But I thought you really wanted
children. Oh, Brian, Perry finds rest in

arms. I'm not putting a baby in there.

Well, I think that's for the best.

I was just putting on some lotion.

Are you on top or bottom, milady?

Neither. Oh, and it's not even my
birthday.

He copied Perry's vows?

Did you really think he'd get away with
this?

Obviously.

Didn't you think I'd recognize them at
Linda and Perry's wedding? Oh, Judy,

on. It's your sister.

There's not going to be a wedding.

Bill, I just hope that if you sat down
and looked at our life, you'd have

something to say to me about it. I love
you. I'll miss you.

Nice rack. Something.

First of all, I can't stop talking about
your rack. Ask anybody at work. And as

far as loving you goes, let's just say,
many a mare tried to lure this stallion

from the meadow, Judy.

Many a mare.

Bill, when I wrote that letter, I wanted
to tell you things.

Things that we never say to each other.

So that you'd know what all this meant
to me.

And I know that it might sound a little
crazy, but I wanted a little something

like that back from you. Well, I don't
want to, and I'm tired of talking about

it. And you can't even try. No. Why not?
See, if I answer you, I'd be talking

about it. And if you can't understand
that, then I don't know what more I

say.

Damn lotion.

You know what?

I've had some good success not expecting
much from you in this life. I'll just

carry that on over into death.

That's the spirit.

What about me, Bill?

You didn't even care enough to read this
letter.

I made it for you, you know, so you can
get the food processor off the shelf.

And you don't have to get off the couch.

Yeah, I guess.

By the way, the coping saw was exactly
where you said it was in your letter.

You read my letter?

Yeah. And?

And I made you a stool.

By the way, the Band -Aids were also
where you said they were.

Why'd you make me a stool?

Because I don't want you falling or
dropping something, you know, if I'm not

here. Can we not talk about this?

Oh, Biffle, that's what I don't get.

Why can't we talk about this?

Because... Because.

Look, do you want the stool or not?

I love the stool.

I just wish you could tell me what it's
feeling.

Damn it, Judy. I don't even want to
think about it. Because, you know, this

everything.

And if you're not here, or, you know,
I'm not here...

Anyway, I made this.

For me?

Yeah.

You made it because you want to take
care of me, even after your death? Yeah,

yeah, yeah, that.

You know, I could always put the food
processor on the bottom shelf.

I use the bottom shelf to make the
stool.

Well, I got to admit, Perry wrote some
beautiful vows.

Yeah, you know, he seems kind of dippy,
but he really has the heart of a poet.

Your love is the sunshine that gathers
my cheek. Your laughter is my music. And

when I lie in your arms, I find rest
from this weary world.

Poetry is nice, but it's no cure for
erectile dysfunction.