Original subtitles

Summertime And the living is easy

Oh, fish are jumping

And the cannon is high Lauren,

is that you singing?

Yeah, something we're doing for chorus.

Well, knock it off. Your mother and I are watching Star Search.

got an amazing voice.

Yeah, imagine having a kid with that much talent.

Hey, guys, you will not believe what happened at school today. I've been

in the accelerated math program at Northwestern University.

Well, serves you right.

Dad, it's an honor. I'll actually be taking college classes at a college

Isn't that great?

Now, hang on a second. We need to know more about this. Absolutely. Your mother

and I have a few questions. The high school is painful.

Then have a good time, Rainey.

College classes, little boys growing up, going out into the world, making his

mark. Oh, I think we can take a little credit for that. You know, when a child

grows up in a nurturing environment, they know they can achieve... Lauren!

Less singing, more washing!

I'm still in love with you today Cause you make me happy

You know, listening to him talk about planets and the universe really makes

wonder. If there's anything else on. Yeah, hand me the remote.

Hey, is that a blue belt girl's uniform?

Yeah.

I didn't know Tina was a blue belt girl.

Gosh, what, she only has one badge?

She's not that into it.

Are you sure it isn't you who's not that into it? Oh, I'm definitely not into

it.

Just like when we were kids. I mean, you got to be the blue bell girl. You got

to wear the adorable uniform because you got bored and quit. Mom never let me

join.

And then Linda grew up and put it all behind her.

Tina! No, that's fine. You two may not care if Tina has the full blue bell

experience and earns all her badges, but I do.

Hey, Judy, you still got that uniform? I can think of a few badges you can earn.

You got a rope? Because I know how to tie a bunch of... Okay, will you two

it?

Bluebell girls are not dirty.

What?

Hey, sweetie, listen, Aunt Linda's going to help you get more Bluebell badges,

okay? I don't know.

Come on, it'll be fun. We'll become the Bluebell girls we were always meant to

be. But I only joined for the cookies.

It'll be good for her, you know. She'll make some new friends, build up her self

-esteem. You talking about Linda? Yeah.

Heading off to campus. I could be a little late. Some of the guys in my

have abandoned. We're going to jam afterwards.

Hang on. I packed you a lunch in case you get hungry. Mom, I can't bring a

lunch to college.

Yeah, you don't want all the guys in your accelerated calculus class thinking

you're a dweeb.

It's just a thermos of leftover stew, a box of raisins, oh, and I put your

lactose pills on top of your pudding pack.

Mom, I'm not taking it. If I'm hungry, I'll go to the student union.

I was told there was no more stew.

You were told you were cut off.

Wake up. There's a barn over there, Shania.

Wait. Brian just got home. It's 1 a .m. I was just riding on a horse with Shania

Twain.

My arm's wrapped around her tiny waist.

We've got to get downstairs.

He's been out late again with those college kids.

Okay, okay.

Wait, you were on the back of the horse?

She's a more experienced rider than I am, and her hair smells like buttercups.

Oh, hey, guys.

Hey.

We've been waiting up for you all night. We thought you were lying in a ditch

somewhere. If you were waiting up all night, then why does that have pillow

marks on his face?

They're worry lines.

Why did you only worry on one side of your face?

All right, why did you come home so late?

I'm sorry. I was jamming with those guys, and I lost track of time.

Well, I don't like you being out late and playing in some band with college

kids. Oh, it's no big deal. We were just playing around campus. Relax.

Relax. Yeah. Okay, you know what? You can relax in your bedroom for the next

weeks because you are grounded. What?

When you stay out late, how do we know you're not lying in a ditch somewhere?

Where is this ditch you keep talking about?

They're around.

But the band wants me to play a gig with them on Friday night and I can't tell

them I'm grounded. They'll think I'm a little kid.

Just because you take college math three days a week doesn't mean you can break

the rules. But the rules are unfair.

I wasn't drinking or doing anything bad. I just came home a little late. Two

hours past... I missed your curfew. A curfew I shouldn't even have. But you do

have it. Why?

Because we're your parents and we said so. Argument over. Now go to bed.

No. I'm already grounded. I might as well unpack my drum set.

Brian!

Oh.

Oh, I can't believe him.

I can't believe you pulled out those cliches. Lying in a ditch.

We're your parents and we said so.

What are you, my dad?

You could have jumped in at any time, but... Well, that's straight.

There's a ditch on Wilbeth Street!

I'm going out there and telling that smarty -pants, walk away from me?

Look, look, look, I'll go out there and have a little talk with him. Sometimes

boys respond better to an unemotional man -to -man conversation.

All right, but I have every reason to be upset, so don't go telling him I'm

hormonal or the big red monster's intact.

Please, he'd know I was lying if I told him that. Not that the whole family

keeps a secret calendar.

Hey. Hey, the old skins.

Yeah.

I had some good times with those drums. Did I ever tell you about the bands I

was in back in high school?

Yeah, Dad, you did.

Uh, there was Generator.

Regenerator.

Regenerator 2.

The Bill Miller Project.

The Bill Miller Regenerator Project.

Man, that was a good summer. Uh -huh. You know, a little piece of advice I

learned the hard way. Make sure your band gets paid up front and in cash, not

-shirts and pot roast.

Dad, we're just playing at the student union. The manager's not going to tip

In fact, they don't even serve pot roast.

I know your mother was kind of rough on you, but you've got to see our side of

it. We've got two kids right behind you, and if we don't lay down the law now,

we could lose control with them. So you're grounding me for something

going to do someday?

Yes.

You may not like it, but those are the rules. Dad, I don't need the rules. I

have a job, my own car, and now I'm making extra money in the band. I mean,

do I even need you guys?

Oh, I don't know, because we know better than you. That's right. You have six

weeks to college, and I only have three. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

It means I know what I'm doing, and I can take care of myself.

Oh, that's right, college boy. You got it all figured out. Well, let me tell

something. Were your parents and we said so? Because Mom already told me that.

You know what? I don't need cliches, because when you live under my roof, you

live by my rules.

How do you like them apples?

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

And I better not catch you smoking, young man.

How'd it go? Did you get through to him?

Like corn through a goose.

So, yes?

Oh, yeah. I told him that within this household there exist certain rules, and

if he wished to remain living in said household... By roof, my rules? You

trotted out that old nugget and you gave me crap?

Parenting's hard, especially when you take months off at a time.

Well, as long as you got through to him. Oh, you bet I got through to him. Good

night.

Where's he going?

Oh, Brian has decided to live under the garage roof and play by his own rules.

Good night.

You told

our son to live in the garage?

It wasn't a tell so much as a dare. I dare you to live in the garage.

Could you be more clueless?

Yes.

I'm going out there and telling him he has to move back in. He'll be back soon

enough. Remember when he was ten and he insisted we let him sleep in the

backyard? He didn't make it through the night. He thought it was haunted.

Well, you did try to scare him. You were running through the yard with a sheet

over your head howling.

Actually, I was drunk and stumbled into the clothesline.

You know, believe me, I was far more scared than he was.

badge.

I'm home from work, unless they call, in which case I'm still there somewhere.

So, uh, what's going on with Brian?

Nothing. It's been three days, and I'm tired of waiting for him to cave.

I say we go out there and tell him he has to move back in.

No, I told you we can't force him. He's got to fail on his own, otherwise he'll

never respect us. Well, then we need to raise stakes, you know, light a fire

underneath him. I got an idea. I know exactly what you're thinking.

Yeah, I would compare the idea...

first.

Well, I say we tell him that we're giving Lorne his room.

Wow. I was way off.

We'll drive him nuts knowing Lorne's in his room while he's out in some dark,

damp garage.

Which we now don't have to light on fire.

Brian!

Maybe we should revisit my fire thing.

Hey, howdy, neighbors. Didn't hear you come in. I was doing dishes in my

kitchen. Your kitchen?

Well, it's more of a kitchenette, really. I got that old thing working,

plate, mini fridge.

Yeah, where'd you get all this?

Oh, believe it or not, garage sales. Isn't that ironic?

Garage sales?

Now, check out this office chair. This was a steal. Five bucks. Brian, Brian,

you can't buy a chair for five bucks and expect it to be butt heaven.

So, what's the bad news?

Well, since you're living out here now, we've decided to give Lorne your room.

Yeah. How do you like that?

Hurts, don't it? No, I think it's a great idea. No reason for her and Tina

share a room when I'm out here.

Oh. Okay.

Well, that's all we came to say, so I guess we'll go back into the house.

Yep. Back to our nice, big, comfortable house.

At the end of the day, this is still just a garage, so...

Let's leave Smarty alone with his pants.

Dad, it's mine.

Yeah.

Bill, stop snoring.

I'm not even sleeping.

Oh, my God.

Is that Lauren?

Either that or we have bears.

So much for giving her Brian's room.

Well, I haven't been able to sleep anyway.

I'm worried about Brian, too.

You know, we haven't exactly exhausted our options on this. There's more than

one way to get through to a kid.

You can't light the garage on fire.

Oh, Tina, what are you doing out of bed?

I can't sleep. I'm antsy. Oh, honey, you're probably lonely because Lauren's

in your room anymore.

Good night, baby.

Oh, my God, do you feel something?

It's probably the ants. They were a lot in my bed.

What?

Aunt Linda broke my ant farm.

God, you're covered in ants.

Isn't that what antsy means?

Thanks a lot, Linda, for breaking that stupid ant farm. I got zero sleep last

night. I'm sorry. My hands were so slippery from the motor oil we used to

our automotive back.

Why is it that ants are so hard to get rid of?

Why is that, Aunt Linda?

Why is it that ants in my house are so... I get it.

You still don't have to worry about ants in your pants. There's no picnic in

there.

I think we should just reconsider this whole blue bell girl thing.

Oh, Judy, Tina will be so disappointed.

But I get to keep all the badges because you didn't do a damn bit of work.

This is great, Belle. We're miserable in here and Brian's out in the garage

happy as a clam.

Brian's not in the garage.

What? It's nine o 'clock. Where is he? He's at some place called The Pit. His

band finally got a gig off campus.

Off campus? I can't believe Brian didn't tell us about this. He doesn't have to.

Because you told him if he lives under his own roof, he can live by his own

rules. We better get down there.

Oh, so you'll go hear his band play, but you won't come to my choir concert?

Yeah, we heard your little nose concert last night while we were trying to fall

asleep.

By the way, we made a doctor's appointment for you.

What are we going to accomplish by going down there? It's not about

accomplishing something anymore. You know, our little boy is hanging out at

sleazy dive called The Pit with a bunch of college -aged headbangers.

Worse than I thought.

Way worse.

How long do you suppose it'll be before the saints go marching out of my head?

Probably about the same time Bill Bailey finally comes home.

Well, at least we know our son wasn't doing anything wrong.

Unless you consider Dixieland wrong.

Which I do.

Yeah, I guess. You know, when me and Brian had that big fight in the garage

other night, he said some stuff that really got under my skin.

Oh, Bill, kids that age are always mouthing off at their parents. Judy, he

he doesn't need us anymore.

And the worst thing about it is he's right. He doesn't need us. He's moving

I know it may seem that way, but he needs us.

Maybe not for money or food or shelter or even, you know, advice, but...

Where the hell was I going with that one?

That's okay.

Ooh, that's not a good place to have an aunt.

Daddy's dead.

Oh, hey. What are you doing here?

I just came in for a root beer.

Well, shut off the lights when you go back out.

You know, if you want, you can split this root beer with me.

Nah. In a house full of ants, sticky lips, not a good idea.

Dad. What?

The band fired me.

What? Why?

First of all, you were right. We should have gotten paid up front. The manager

stiffed us.

Oh, man.

Brian, I'm sorry.

It was right after we played a kick -ass Hendrix set.

You played Hendrix?

Yeah, Skeeter Hendrix, king of the washboard.

So how come you got fired?

Well, I was the one that booked the gig. Plus, they all wanted to grow handlebar

mustaches, and I can't.

You know what? This could be the best thing that ever happened to you. You

start your own band.

Regenerator, the next generation.

Or the Dixie Kids.

We'll talk about it later.

Um, listen, Dad, can I grab another one of your root beers?

Sure. I guess there is still some stuff in here that I need.

Ryan, you know you can always have whatever I can give you, no matter what

you live under.

Thanks, Dad.

Good night.

Uh, listen, Dad, I've been thinking maybe I could move back in for a while.

Really? Yeah, I mean, the garage is fun and all, but I'd rather live in here.

You think it's haunted, don't you?

No, I think it's drafty.

Do you think it's haunted?

No.

So, maybe I can just grab my stuff and I'll crash on the couch tonight?

Whatever you want, kiddo.

Thank you.

I love you, Dad.

I love you, too.

Ow!

What's going on here?

Well, I was just talking to Brian because he really needed someone to talk

because the real world kicked him in the ass and he just came crawling back,

just like I said.

So my baby boy's finally miserable?

Like a dog in the rain.

Ta -ta!

make me happy