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1
00:00:04,139 --> 00:00:08,220
Unbelievable. If the next word is lover,
then guilty as charged.
2
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Three more birthday party invitations
for Tina. Why does our daughter have to
3
00:00:12,540 --> 00:00:13,439
so popular?
4
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,320
I don't know. I live with her. I don't
see it.
5
00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,360
She's been on the kiddie party A -list
ever since you taught her how to burp
6
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,360
happy birthday.
7
00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:23,600
Hey, they're not giving her music in the
schools anymore.
8
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:27,880
Oh, man, this Saturday is Cammie Kelly's
birthday party. She's going to really
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00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:28,880
want to go to that one.
10
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,780
Not if she never reads it. Bill!
11
00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:35,210
Didn't work for my last home pregnancy
test. It's not going to work for this.
12
00:00:38,270 --> 00:00:39,270
Why does my life suck?
13
00:00:39,450 --> 00:00:40,770
Oh, pick me, pick me.
14
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:43,390
What's wrong?
15
00:00:43,570 --> 00:00:47,230
I had to go to this stupid wedding that
wasn't mine. I had to wear this stupid
16
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:49,270
dress. How could I look any more
hideous?
17
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:50,650
Oh, oh, oh.
18
00:00:51,190 --> 00:00:53,270
No. If you took it off. I wasn't coming.
19
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,020
Something that might cheer you up. You
want to take Tina to Cammie Kelly's
20
00:00:58,020 --> 00:00:59,060
birthday party this Saturday?
21
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,720
How would that cheer me up?
22
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,860
Their class is known for its divorce
rate, a lot of single dads.
23
00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:06,180
Okay, I'll go.
24
00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:08,420
Single dads?
25
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:12,140
Cammie's mom's married to a woman, and
most of their friends are gay, too.
26
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,120
Well, then it'll be a surprise party.
27
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:18,080
Oh, my God, Bill, look at this.
28
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,240
Melanie Galt's seventh birthday
jamboree.
29
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,540
Lower.
30
00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:25,510
R .S .V .P., Mr. and Mrs. Willie Galt.
31
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Willie Galt. Willie Galt. Willie Galt!
Chicago Bears!
32
00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:31,170
Willie Galt!
33
00:01:31,310 --> 00:01:33,770
We're going to a party at Willie Galt's
house.
34
00:01:34,270 --> 00:01:35,330
Who's Willie Galt?
35
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Dear God, I raised a woman.
36
00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:43,930
Honey, he was a football player for the
85 Bears. The greatest team ever
37
00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:49,610
assembled to play any sport ever on any
planet. And we're taking Tina to a party
38
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,050
at his house that...
39
00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:55,050
Saturday. Oh, my God, it's Saturday?
40
00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:57,950
That's the same time as Cammie Kelly's
birthday party.
41
00:01:58,510 --> 00:02:01,250
Hmm, Cammie, Tina's best friend.
42
00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:03,730
I wonder which party she'll want to go
to.
43
00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:07,130
Something tells me you're not going to
get to meet your hero.
44
00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:10,289
Maybe it's my woman's intuition.
45
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What are we going to do? We have to go
to Willie Galt's party. I've never
46
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,480
anything in my life.
47
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:27,880
As much as this?
48
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,160
Until this.
49
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,380
It's all been leading up to this moment.
I see that now.
50
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,380
Getting married, having the three kids.
It was all so I could get this
51
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:38,380
invitation.
52
00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:41,440
Yeah, I did it all to piss off my
father.
53
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:44,010
Guess I showed him, huh?
54
00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:48,230
You know, it's up to Tina whether she
wants to go to Cammy or Melanie's party.
55
00:02:48,290 --> 00:02:50,750
Yeah, you're right. Tina, I'm going to
tell her Cammy died.
56
00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:52,150
What?
57
00:02:52,790 --> 00:02:55,350
My God, don't even say that.
58
00:02:55,690 --> 00:02:59,730
Judy, imagine the look on Tina's face
when Cammy comes back to life on Sunday.
59
00:03:00,870 --> 00:03:01,870
What, Daddy?
60
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:05,730
No, Mommy will handle this. Daddy's too
busy hitting rock bottom.
61
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,080
Honey, I know that you have Cammie's
birthday party on Saturday.
62
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:13,060
Yeah, it's going to be so much fun.
63
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:18,720
Uh -huh. Well, you know what? You also
have another birthday party on Saturday.
64
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,740
Your bestest friend in the whole wide
world, Melanie Galt.
65
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,420
I hate Melanie Galt.
66
00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:27,440
Tina, you know, we were just talking to
Cammie's doctor. Bill.
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00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:34,140
It's not nice to hate people, you know?
You want to be nice and go to their
68
00:03:34,140 --> 00:03:37,140
parties. I don't want to be nice to her.
She's mean.
69
00:03:37,990 --> 00:03:41,930
Well, maybe there's a reason she's mean.
You know, sometimes people are mean
70
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,450
because they're really sad inside.
71
00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:46,050
Why would she be sad?
72
00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:49,070
Well, maybe things are sad at home.
73
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:54,270
Why? I don't know. Maybe her mommy and
daddy don't love each other anymore.
74
00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:57,670
You mean they're getting a divorce?
75
00:03:58,090 --> 00:03:59,570
If that'll get you over there.
76
00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:01,690
Tina,
77
00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:07,250
it's up to you which party you want to
go to. But you know what?
78
00:04:07,470 --> 00:04:10,430
Take a couple of days. Think about it. I
want to go to Cammy's.
79
00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:13,790
Like I said, take a couple of days. I
don't need a couple of days. Take the
80
00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:14,790
days.
81
00:04:16,050 --> 00:04:17,050
Mommy loves you.
82
00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:19,329
Especially if you take the days.
83
00:04:20,829 --> 00:04:25,510
We can't leave this up to her. We have
an opportunity to meet an 85 bear.
84
00:04:25,910 --> 00:04:29,170
Well, I'm sorry, Bill. You know, we
can't go to a 7 -year -old's birthday
85
00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:30,330
without our 7 -year -old.
86
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:44,140
You think they'll buy it? Of course.
We've got Tina's jacket. If we tell them
87
00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:45,780
she's here, why would they suspect
otherwise?
88
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,580
You're right. I mean, what kind of
people would come to a kid's party with
89
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,040
their kid's coat and not their kid?
90
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,060
Exactly. No, seriously, I'm asking.
91
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,160
Hi, I'm Karen Galt, Melanie's mom.
92
00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,720
Oh, Bill and Judy Miller, Tina's
parents. She was just here. Where did
93
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,160
little scamp run off to?
94
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,460
I'm so glad you could make it. Melanie
adores Tina.
95
00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:07,800
Well, you should hear the way she talks
about Melanie.
96
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,620
And that's why she's here, somewhere.
97
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:12,800
Come on, I introduced you to Willie.
98
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:14,300
Galt?
99
00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:15,660
Yeah.
100
00:05:17,420 --> 00:05:19,560
Oop, somebody's had too many juice
boxes.
101
00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:20,940
Oh, that's Melanie's doll.
102
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:24,560
Saw it in the store and just had to have
it. Just like Tina, I had to be here,
103
00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:25,620
and she's here.
104
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,120
Melanie, what'd I tell you? Put your
doll upstairs.
105
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,780
Oh, here you go, sweetie.
106
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,760
Oh, Bill, look, it's a birthday girl.
107
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:34,060
Yeah, yeah, happy birthday.
108
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:38,520
Willie, this is Bill and Judy, Tina's
parents.
109
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,660
Tina's parents. Oh, great to meet you
guys. Wow.
110
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:44,240
A bear hug.
111
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,520
You know, millions always tell me how
much you love Tina, so I already know
112
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,080
going to like you guys. Well, I've
always loved you, even longer than I've
113
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Tina.
114
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,460
What? I didn't say more.
115
00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:57,020
And I could have.
116
00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,320
So where is Tina?
117
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:03,160
Oh, she's probably on the moon bounce
out back. Yep, there she is.
118
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:04,760
Oh, the one with the pixels?
119
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,360
Sure.
120
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,640
You know, Bill, me and some of my old
teammates are just hanging out, sipping
121
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,060
some teacups. Why don't you join us?
122
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,620
Teammate?
123
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,360
True, bears do travel in packs.
124
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,360
Yeah, come on, I'll teach you something.
125
00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:19,480
Sipping and hanging with bears.
126
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:25,500
So, I look him in the eye, spit out my
mouthpiece, and say, you just try and
127
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:26,960
stiff arm me again, see what happens.
128
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,259
Did he?
129
00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:30,140
Yes, Tim Reitman, he did.
130
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,020
The very next play.
131
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,240
And what happened next?
132
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,920
Well, Mike Tomczak, I'm glad you asked.
133
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:40,480
I knocked him on his ass after he gained
12 yards.
134
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,040
Man, Bill, you're really something.
135
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,300
Oh, thanks, Willie.
136
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,880
Galt. You know, Bill, you don't have to
call us by our full names.
137
00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:50,420
Yeah, but I can, right?
138
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:56,200
I gotta say, these kids' parties usually
suck, but this one's a lot of fun.
139
00:06:56,420 --> 00:06:57,420
Bill, you like steak?
140
00:06:58,320 --> 00:06:59,760
Oh, you're serious.
141
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,400
In the words of my arteries,
142
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,170
Yes!
143
00:07:04,430 --> 00:07:07,570
Oh, Nelson's Steakhouse. They sent me a
bunch of gift certificates because I did
144
00:07:07,570 --> 00:07:10,710
a commercial for them. I'd love for you
to have one. Well, then you'd really
145
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:11,790
love for me to have two.
146
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,110
You can have one. Gotcha.
147
00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:21,570
Oh, guys, this is my wife, Judy, Tim
Reitman, Mike Tomczak, Super Bowl
148
00:07:21,570 --> 00:07:22,570
my new pals.
149
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,030
Wow, so great to meet you guys.
150
00:07:25,450 --> 00:07:26,970
It must be an honor to be married to...
151
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,320
Killer Miller, good old number 42.
152
00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:33,720
Bill, you haven't been telling your old
high school football stories to three
153
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,720
Chicago Bears.
154
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,580
It was four. The fridge got bored and
left.
155
00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:41,520
Hey, Bill, you want to see my trophy
room? I'll show you my Super Bowl ring.
156
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:46,700
Super Bowl ring?
157
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,780
Yeah, a few jerseys, a game ball. You
might get a kick out of it. You might
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00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:52,140
a kick out of seeing a grown man cry.
159
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,060
Sorry, my husband's being so crazy. He's
just a huge fan.
160
00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:02,000
That's okay. You know, it's nice that
people still get excited about Fina. Oh,
161
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,000
well, that's great.
162
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:07,940
Because, you know, there was a time in
1985 when I thought Tim Reitman was the
163
00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:08,980
right man for me.
164
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,620
You know, I have never heard that one
before.
165
00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:19,520
Judy, I don't mean to worry you, but
Melanie says she hasn't seen Tina.
166
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:20,920
Really?
167
00:08:21,220 --> 00:08:25,320
No. That... Because I just saw her by
the punch bowl. Well, see if you can
168
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,660
her, because we're about to do the cake,
and Melanie can't wait to hear Tina
169
00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:28,780
burp happy birthday. Oh, God.
170
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:31,600
That's so cute.
171
00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:32,980
I'll go gas her up.
172
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:37,740
Oh, Bill, Bill, party's over.
173
00:08:38,179 --> 00:08:40,340
What are you talking about? The party's
just begun.
174
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,900
Willie just let me hold a ball from the
Super Bowl.
175
00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:45,500
I tossed it back to him. He caught it.
176
00:08:46,340 --> 00:08:48,480
I'm one for one lifetime with Willie
Galt.
177
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,040
We gotta go.
178
00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:53,550
Melanie hasn't seen Tina and she wants
her to burp happy birthday.
179
00:08:53,790 --> 00:08:55,450
Damn, stupid Melanie.
180
00:08:57,530 --> 00:08:59,850
You know, Tina's right. I don't like her
either.
181
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:01,110
Let's get out of here.
182
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,810
Oh, my God. How are we going to walk
past Willie without Tina?
183
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:06,090
I got a plan.
184
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:09,290
Good idea. I'll distract Willie by
making out with Wright.
185
00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:14,150
That's not the plan, but thanks for
sounding so eager.
186
00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:21,610
Thank you guys so much for coming. Thank
you for asking.
187
00:09:21,870 --> 00:09:25,030
We're so sorry that she fell asleep.
Must have been all that moon bouncing
188
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:25,969
tired her out.
189
00:09:25,970 --> 00:09:27,030
You want me to get you a piece of cake?
190
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:29,750
Okay. No, no. You can't. Thank you.
191
00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:51,250
You know what's good about doing a lot
of stupid things in your life?
192
00:09:51,630 --> 00:09:52,950
Eventually you get better at it.
193
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:58,950
Hey, guys, how was the party? Oh, it was
great. Mike Tomczak was there and Tim
194
00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:02,050
Reitman. I have no idea who those people
are.
195
00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:05,370
And that magician you love. Lance Burton
was there?
196
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,890
No, but now you know how excited I was.
197
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:13,410
You should have seen me. I was hanging
out with Willie Galt. He let me throw a
198
00:10:13,410 --> 00:10:16,990
game ball, touch his jersey. He even let
me try on his Super Bowl ring.
199
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:18,560
Oh, you mean the one you have on?
200
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:23,680
Yeah, the one I... You know, if Lance
Burton were here, he could make that
201
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:24,680
disappear.
202
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:29,880
Yeah, okay, great.
203
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:32,040
Well, have a safe trip, Willie.
204
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:33,880
You're not going to believe this.
205
00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:37,640
The Gaults are going to Florida tonight.
They want us to hang on to the ring.
206
00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:39,820
Really? He wasn't mad?
207
00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:43,520
No, I don't know what you did, but this
guy loves you. He's going to call us
208
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,260
when he gets back. He wants to set up a
play date.
209
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,520
Play date?
210
00:10:47,459 --> 00:10:48,840
What does he want to do?
211
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:54,800
For Melanie and Tina. Oh, oh, right,
right. Yeah, but I'm still friends with
212
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:58,320
Willie Galt, and now I've got to guard
this ring with my... Where's the ring?
213
00:10:58,540 --> 00:11:02,120
What? I don't know. Where'd you put it?
I didn't put it anywhere. It was right
214
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,800
here. Oh, my God. You're always losing
things, Bill. Sink, sink.
215
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,040
You sure you didn't take it? I didn't
take it. Check your pocket.
216
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,900
It's not there. Why don't you check
yours? Oh, yeah, Bill. I took the ring,
217
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:13,240
I put it in my pocket. Oh.
218
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:16,379
Well, hello.
219
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:17,380
Hey.
220
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,080
Jimmy Kelly's birthday party.
221
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,060
A lot of lesbians.
222
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:23,680
Really? Yes, really.
223
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,600
Now I'm in a softball league. Thanks a
lot.
224
00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:37,700
Our table's still not ready
225
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,640
yet. I can't believe this.
226
00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:44,720
Our reservation was for 45 minutes ago.
Maybe we should just go. No, I'm not
227
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,320
leaving the best steakhouse in Chicago.
I got a gift certificate, and I already
228
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,340
smelled grilled meat.
229
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:52,400
So even if I wanted to leave, my stomach
wouldn't let me.
230
00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:54,140
Here she comes, finally.
231
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,160
Your table is ready.
232
00:11:57,780 --> 00:11:59,440
They just got here two minutes ago.
233
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:02,460
I'm sorry, sir. They have a reservation.
I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
234
00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:05,200
Yeah, we have a reservation, too. Right
here, Miller.
235
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:09,100
You've already sat three parties ahead
of us. It's not fair to treat some
236
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:10,780
better than others. Is that a Super Bowl
ring?
237
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,280
Well, yeah, it is. Eighty -five bears?
238
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,540
I'm so sorry, sir. I'll have your table
right away.
239
00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:18,900
Well, thank you.
240
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:21,660
What are you wearing the ring?
241
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,980
You told me not to lose it, so I put it
in the safest place possible.
242
00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:26,420
Where's your wedding ring?
243
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:27,720
On the sink in the bathroom.
244
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,240
No, wait, kitchen.
245
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,680
No, bathroom. I'll find it when we get
home.
246
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,860
The table will be ready in a moment.
247
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:38,580
In the meantime, Hector, open a bottle
of champagne for these two. It's on the
248
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,300
house. Only the best for a Super Bowl
bear.
249
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:43,740
I don't think we should be doing this.
250
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:47,900
Excuse me, did I hear her right? You
were on the 85 Bears?
251
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,980
Well, I'm wearing the ring, aren't I?
252
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,080
Man, you got it made!
253
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,620
A Super Bowl ring on one hand and a
supermodel wife on the other?
254
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:00,880
Oh, stop.
255
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:05,430
One Vogue guy. does not make you a
supermodel.
256
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:10,450
Doug, Pearl, get over here and shake
hands with a real sports legend.
257
00:13:10,910 --> 00:13:12,490
What position did you play?
258
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,750
Outside linebacker. How about that?
259
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:17,250
What's your name?
260
00:13:17,290 --> 00:13:18,290
Bill Miller.
261
00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:22,950
I was just third string. Didn't get into
a lot of games. You'd have to be a huge
262
00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:24,130
fan to remember me.
263
00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:27,410
Bill Miller! I totally remember you!
264
00:13:28,210 --> 00:13:30,370
Mind if I get a picture of you to show
my wife?
265
00:13:30,630 --> 00:13:32,730
Oh, I don't think you want to.
266
00:13:42,850 --> 00:13:45,970
Where have you been? You were supposed
to be home at one. I had a golf game.
267
00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:47,250
You could have gone.
268
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:50,510
It's an exclusive course. I couldn't get
on it without the ring.
269
00:13:50,850 --> 00:13:54,510
Well, I couldn't have gotten into the
private dress sale or out of my speeding
270
00:13:54,510 --> 00:13:57,990
ticket. For the first time, a cop was
looking at my chest for all the wrong
271
00:13:57,990 --> 00:13:58,990
reasons.
272
00:14:01,780 --> 00:14:05,640
Okay, fine, but I call it for tomorrow.
I'm going to a Cubs game. I want to talk
273
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:06,880
my way into a luxury box.
274
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:09,220
Well, that's not fair. You've been
hogging it all week.
275
00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:12,660
That's because I've been using it to get
free stuff for the family.
276
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:17,280
Oh, yeah, because we all sit around
smoking cigars in our size 11 sneakers.
277
00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:21,900
I think you're forgetting whose ring
this is. It's the pretend Super Bowl
278
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:24,360
player. I think I got more rights than
the pretend wife.
279
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,680
How about I pretend I'm somebody else's
child?
280
00:14:34,430 --> 00:14:35,430
Hello.
281
00:14:35,730 --> 00:14:36,770
Oh, hey, Willie.
282
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:39,050
You enjoying your vacation?
283
00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:41,810
What?
284
00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:44,750
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we could do
that.
285
00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:47,090
All right, we'll see you tomorrow.
286
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:48,370
Okay, bye.
287
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:51,410
They cut the trip short.
288
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:52,970
He wants the ring.
289
00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:56,410
What?
290
00:14:56,870 --> 00:14:58,990
But we were supposed to have more time.
291
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,630
He's got to play in a charity golf
tournament.
292
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:05,069
It's horrible.
293
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,310
Yeah, it's for kids in China who can't
get medicine.
294
00:15:07,670 --> 00:15:08,670
Yeah, it's bad, too.
295
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:11,890
Well, it was fun being a bear.
296
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:17,310
You know, the great tables in the
restaurants, the free stuff, the
297
00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:19,030
cigars, the jet ski.
298
00:15:19,930 --> 00:15:20,829
Jet ski?
299
00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:21,830
Coming Monday.
300
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:26,730
I'm gonna miss this little guy.
301
00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:28,790
Yeah, sure is a beauty.
302
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,450
Look at all those diamonds.
303
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,720
Isn't that weird? They left a little
space right there.
304
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,900
Oh, that's not a space. That's what a
diamond used to... Ah!
305
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:45,140
You just had to take it shopping.
306
00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:48,720
And you just had to take it to your old
football coach's house. Yeah, to rub it
307
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,100
in the face of the guy who benched me
senior year.
308
00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:53,020
Yeah, remember me, coach?
309
00:15:55,740 --> 00:15:56,840
Can I help you folks?
310
00:15:57,100 --> 00:16:00,820
Yeah, we'd like to replace a tiny stone
tonight, if possible.
311
00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:02,500
Hmm, let me take a look -see.
312
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:05,890
Oh, my Lord in heaven.
313
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:10,890
It's a 1985 Chicago Bears Super Bowl
championship ring.
314
00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:12,530
Why, yes, it is.
315
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:13,990
So how'd you get it?
316
00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:19,170
Well, if you must know, I played on the
team. Bill Miller, outside linebacker.
317
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:20,730
Uh, no.
318
00:16:20,990 --> 00:16:25,530
Uh, linebacker corps was single Terry
Wilson and Marshall.
319
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:27,670
No, sure, I was a backup.
320
00:16:28,490 --> 00:16:33,210
No, backups were Jim Morrissey, Ron
Rivera, and Cliff Thripp.
321
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,640
I was the kicker.
322
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:35,960
You're Kevin Butler?
323
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,320
Oh, uh, the punner.
324
00:16:37,940 --> 00:16:38,940
Maury Buford.
325
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,160
Okay, I was equipment manager.
326
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,360
You happy?
327
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:46,880
Equipment manager's name was Jinky
Jones. I'm calling the police. No, no,
328
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:47,799
no, no.
329
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:52,500
The truth is, this is Willie Galt's
ring. He's a friend of mine. He knows I
330
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,379
it.
331
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,860
Well, if that's the case, then what'd
you lie for?
332
00:16:57,070 --> 00:17:01,370
I guess, you know, we liked how people
gave us special treatment when we were
333
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:04,810
wearing it, you know? Great service,
free stuff.
334
00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:08,390
We were treated like royalty. You can
understand that, right?
335
00:17:08,650 --> 00:17:10,250
Yeah, if I was a terrible person.
336
00:17:12,349 --> 00:17:13,410
I'm a real fan.
337
00:17:13,650 --> 00:17:16,130
A real fan would treat this ring with
respect.
338
00:17:17,150 --> 00:17:20,650
The 85 Bears meant a lot to this city,
sir. They meant a lot to me.
339
00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:25,579
If I was Willie Galt, it would sicken me
to think that you took something I
340
00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:31,080
worked so hard to get and flaunted it
around for free stuff.
341
00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:35,899
Teen doctor?
342
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:36,900
Ron Friedman.
343
00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:44,140
So after he said all that, we just knew
we had to come over here and tell you
344
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:47,940
everything. Yeah. Not since I picked out
my wife's engagement ring have I been
345
00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:49,320
so shamed by a jeweler.
346
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,260
I don't know how to break it to you, but
that stone fell out years ago.
347
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:04,160
What? Yeah, but that was really cool of
you. You're a great guy, Bill.
348
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:08,440
Well, it's just important that our
family can be friends, because you can't
349
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,399
a price on that.
350
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,080
But if you could, it'd be $400.
351
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:15,140
You know, it's really cool how you guys
came clean like that. You know, honesty
352
00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:16,560
is something I look for in my friends.
353
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,360
Okay, $385.
354
00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:23,580
Can we go home now? Melanie won't stop
crying.
355
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,180
Why is Melanie crying?
356
00:18:25,580 --> 00:18:27,540
I told her her parents are getting a
divorce.
357
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,600
What?
358
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:31,960
Honey, who told you that?
359
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:33,340
Daddy.
360
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:39,520
Sweetie, now, you know, I didn't say
that. I simply said they might, might
361
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,720
love each other anymore.
362
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:44,320
Willie, I can't believe you told Bill we
were getting a divorce. We haven't told
363
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:48,180
anybody yet. I didn't tell him. Tomzak
must have. You told Tomzak?
364
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:49,900
He listens, all right?
365
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:53,880
I better go talk to Melanie.
366
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:57,340
Wait a minute. You two really are
getting a divorce?
367
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,500
Hold on. If you didn't know, why'd you
tell Tina?
368
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:03,700
She just misunderstood. I just told her
that to get her to come to Melanie's
369
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:05,920
party. I didn't go to Melanie's party.
370
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,120
You didn't?
371
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:10,540
Yeah, that's right.
372
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,240
We came to a seven -year -old's birthday
party without our kid, and all we
373
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,320
brought was her jacket.
374
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,880
That's what you did? Yes.
375
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:22,560
Maybe you should go.
376
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:27,220
So I guess we'll see you at Tom's Axe
Fish Fry. We should go.
377
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:30,360
Oh,
378
00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:32,640
hey, how was Italy?
379
00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:34,480
Oh, God, it was wonderful.
380
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,880
We saw the Coliseum, Trevi Fountain. We
even had an audience with the Pope.
381
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:43,860
Yeah, he's a great guy. He blessed a
bunch of stuff. I got to touch his hat.
382
00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:45,360
He even let me try on his...
383
00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:54,470
This time it was the Pope.
384
00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:15,430
I wouldn't have it any other way because
you make me happy.
29519
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